A Depressed Kendo Player Possesses a Bastard Aristocrat
chapter-112

Spring Flower (5)

And so, time flowed by once more.

Leaving behind the days when I etched the word “hope” into my heart, I spent each day busily fulfilling the promises I had made to my people.

-I promise.

-I will never…leave again.

-I won’t try to run away anymore… I’ll live tenaciously…

A vow to stop running from the darkness of my life.

And the first step towards fulfilling that vow was to face the transgressions of my past.

“I am so sorry.”

For the past few days, I had lived with those words of apology constantly on my lips.

I sought out every single servant I had wronged and offered them my sincerest apologies.

I didn’t hesitate to kneel if the situation called for it.

To show them that I had changed.

To let them know that the boy they remembered, the one lost in the depths of their memories, had finally returned.

I lived each day to the fullest, wandering the halls of the mansion and lending a hand to the servants in their tasks.

Laundry, cleaning, food preparation, washing dishes…

They weren’t tasks befitting the eldest son of a Duke, but I didn’t care.

If I hesitated even in the face of such trivial matters, my apologies to them would feel as light as a feather.

I was taking the first steps toward reclaiming the time I had lost.

-Y-Young Master… You really don’t have to do this.

-We’re uncomfortable with you going so far… It’s alright, really, what happened in the past.

-That’s right, Young Master. Please, get some rest. You’ve been working too hard lately.

Fortunately, my sincerity seemed to have reached them.

The servants, who had initially been wary and stiff around me, gradually began to open up.

As I busied myself with daily life, time flew by like the wind.

Before I knew it, only two weeks remained until the Academy reopened.

The end of January was fast approaching.

Now, with the promise of spring just around the corner, I was spending time with the people I cherished most.

“And then, you know what Brother did…? He took first place in the Academy practice duel…!”

“Oh my… You did, Young Master?”

“It’s true, Gilbert!”

“Raiden, excelling at the Academy… Hmm, how unexpected.”

The atmosphere in the room was warm and inviting.

Ariel was chatting animatedly with Gilbert and Father, who were seated on the sofa.

The fireplace cast a gentle glow on their faces, creating a picture of perfect domestic bliss.

I leaned against the window, taking in the peaceful scene.

Lost in the tranquility of the moment, I took a sip of the tea Gilbert had prepared for me.

As I savored the brief respite, Lucy’s voice, soft and hesitant, reached my ears.

“Somehow… I feel like I’m imposing.”

“What do you mean, Your Highness?”

“It’s just… I feel like I’m intruding on your family time…”

A wistful smile touched her lips, and her blue eyes, usually so full of life, held a hint of uncertainty.

It seemed that staying at the mansion for the past few weeks had been weighing on her mind.

It’s really no trouble at all…

The truth was, Lucy was staying at the mansion because of me.

I was the one who had insisted she stay, worried that she hadn’t fully recovered from the events of “that day.”

A wry smile touched my lips.

I hadn’t meant to burden her with my own troubles.

“There’s no one in this mansion who would find Your Highness’s presence bothersome.”

“But still…”

“On the contrary, I’m glad you’re here. That you stayed for me.”

My words were sincere, devoid of any pretense.

Keeping Lucy at the mansion was also for my own sake.

I, too, was still grappling with the remnants of my past sorrows.

Just as even the grandest forest began as a tiny sapling, the happiness I had vowed to find was still but a fragile sprout.

It was only natural.

After spending so long trapped in a prison of my own making, consumed by compulsions and loneliness, it was too early to even speak of happiness.

I’m still the same…

I was still tormented by nightmares.

I was still haunted by hallucinations and phantom pains.

I was still clinging to the smoke of the deathweed for solace.

That was why I needed Lucy.

I needed more people, more warmth, more love in my life.

“Because you stayed, Your Highness… each day is filled with a brighter light.”

Setting down my teacup, I gently took Lucy’s hand in mine.

Her skin was soft and warm beneath my fingertips. I interlaced my fingers with hers, a small smile gracing my lips.

“Thank you, as always, my liege.”

I expressed my gratitude, my voice laced with sincerity.

Lucy stared at me for a moment, her expression unreadable, before dropping her gaze to her lap.

“Raiden is… well, you’re… dangerous…”

She mumbled, her cheeks flushed for some reason.

Dangerous? What did she mean by that?

I was about to ask her to elaborate, but a voice interrupted me.

“Young Master.”

I turned to see Rachel approaching, a tray in her hands.

She walked with her usual grace, her movements fluid and elegant as she refilled our teacups.

“…Wow.”

Lucy took a large gulp of her tea, as if parched, and let out a small gasp of delight.

“Rachel, your tea-making skills just keep getting better and better…”

“You flatter me, Your Highness.”

“I mean it. It’s even better than the tea served by the royal maids.”

Lucy’s eyes sparkled with genuine admiration as she looked at the younger girl.

Rachel blushed under her praise.

As I listened to their exchange, I gently tapped the space beside me on the sofa.

“Come sit with us, Rachel. You can put the tray down.”

“Yes, Young Master.”

We sat together, chatting amongst ourselves.

“It’s hard to believe the holidays are almost over… Time flies, doesn’t it?”

“It really does… So much has happened, it feels like it’s all gone by in the blink of an eye.”

“How are you feeling these days, Raiden? The nightmares, the hallucinations…”

“They’re… still there. These things don’t just go away overnight…”

“I suppose not…”

“Hmm…”

Their faces fell at my words.

I offered them a reassuring smile, my voice soft as I spoke.

“But don’t worry. It’s slow going, but… I’m definitely getting better.”

“Really…?”

“Truly?”

“Didn’t I tell you? I’m done with lying.”

I was still living with the fever dream.

But even so…

I forced my lips into a smile, hoping to reassure the two girls in front of me.

“It’ll get better. I know it will.”

I had to believe that.

I wanted to believe it.

I would believe it.

“It will all work out, Young Master.”

“Yes… It will all be okay, Raiden.”

“Of course it will.”

Rachel, who had waited patiently for me to return from the darkness.

Ariel, who had welcomed me back with open arms.

Lucy, who had accepted me despite all the pain I had caused her.

Father and Gilbert, who had shown me that I was still worthy of love.

For their sake, I had to keep moving forward, towards the light.

It was the only way I could repay them, the only way I could atone for my sins.

It was the best, the greatest gift I could offer to my mother, who had brought me into this world.

“…”

I pushed aside the thoughts swirling in my mind and reached out, taking both girls’ hands in mine.

“Young Master…?”

“Raiden…?”

Their hands were warm in mine, chasing away the lingering chill from the teacups.

A comforting warmth spread through me.

Savoring the feeling, I spoke, my voice soft with emotion.

“Thank you. Both of you.”

“Heehee… You’ve been saying ‘thank you’ a lot lately, haven’t you?”

“Have I?”

I chuckled sheepishly, averting my gaze.

As I fiddled with the warmth of their hands in mine, the memories of recent days flickered before my eyes.

-So, will you…stay by my side?

-Will you…give me another chance…?

To Rachel.

-I may have hurt you deeply, Your Highness, but if you would allow me…

-I wish to remain by your side.

To Lucy.

I had asked for their permission to remain by their side, and they had agreed without hesitation.

Perhaps it was their answers, their unwavering acceptance, that had saved me.

Because of them…

I was able to stand here, now, surrounded by this comforting warmth.

How could I not say thank you?

I basked in the warmth of their presence, my heart full.

A comfortable silence fell over us.

Suddenly, Ariel, who had been sitting quietly on the sofa, shot to her feet, her eyes wide with excitement.

“Wow…!”

She rushed towards the window.

“It’s snowing! It’s snowing!”

I followed her gaze, my heart lifting at the sight that greeted me.

The sky was dark, but a blanket of white was already beginning to cover the ground.

Snowflakes swirled and danced in the air, a mesmerizing ballet of winter’s first embrace.

The first snow of the season.

It always seemed to arrive so unexpectedly, a magical transformation of the familiar landscape.

I pushed aside my musings and let the beauty of the falling snow wash over me.

“Brother, let’s go outside tomorrow! I want to see the snow up close! It’s been ages!”

Ariel turned to me, her eyes shining with excitement. I smiled at her enthusiasm, my heart warming at the sight of her bright, cheerful face.

“Alright.”

“Let’s do that. There’s somewhere I need to go anyway.”

“Somewhere you need to go? Where?”

“You’ll see.”

Ariel tilted her head, her brow furrowed in confusion at my cryptic answer.

I chuckled softly at her curiosity, then turned back to the window.

The night sky was a canvas of darkness, dotted with the faint glow of the moon peeking through the swirling snow.

I watched as the snowflakes danced and twirled, illuminated by the ethereal light, and a quiet thought bloomed in my mind.

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