A Depressed Kendo Player Possesses a Bastard Aristocrat
chapter-115-1

Scars and Scars

"What? You're going to visit the Phyler Duchy?"

The blue eyes resembling the sea froze coldly.

Beyond her stiff gaze lay negative emotions like shock, sorrow, and rejection.

Lucy stared at me, frozen still.

It was a reaction of utter disbelief.

Regardless, I put down the teacup I was holding on the table and opened my mouth.

"I received a summons."

"...Are you out of your mind?"

At my nonchalant reply, Lucy furrowed her brows.

The girl's attitude was hostile.

It was probably due to the antipathy the name 'Phyler' evoked.

And it wasn't just her.

Ariel, who was sitting next to her, was also silently brooding as if she was uncomfortable.

"Brother... This isn't right."

Perhaps because of the memories of 'that day' when I was driven to the brink.

Both of them expressed strong opposition to my words about heading to the Phyler Duchy.

"......"

Rachel alone was keeping silent, but she didn't seem to like it either.

I remained silent.

Everyone reacted exactly as I had expected.

As I rubbed my mouth at the bitter smile that crept out, Lucy once again tried to dissuade me.

"Raiden... Have you already forgotten? What Lady Phyler did to you...!!"

"Your Highness."

"We almost lost you because of the Lady...!"

A sudden remark.

It touched a wound that had yet to heal.

"After going through something like that... you still want to help the Lady?"

Her fragile voice was laced with suppressed sorrow.

Her emotions seemed to be intensifying.

As I gazed at the girl's shoulders, which were trembling more and more faintly, I let out a complicated breath.

It wasn't that I didn't understand their reaction.

Because others wouldn't know.

The fact that just as Margaret was a bad person to me, I was also a bad person to her.

We were always blades aimed at each other's throats.

- I'm tired.

- I want to stop now... I want to stop loving you...

As if on cue, tearful hallucinations echoed in my ears.

The scars of the past remained vivid.

With a pained smile on my face, I muttered as if reminiscing about yesterday.

"...I also hate her."

Yes.

I hated Margaret.

Whenever I recalled the memory of that moment when everything almost crumbled, I couldn't resent her enough.

However.

"It must be the same for her."

It wasn't that I didn't understand her.

Because between us remained an unresolved knot of a terrible ill-fated relationship.

It was I who started it.

That's why I had to go see Margaret.

To put an end to this whole tragedy.

"Your Highness... Do you know what is more important than remembering the wounds inflicted by others?"

I asked quietly.

The blonde girl frowned as if wondering what I was talking about.

I recited the answer without hesitation.

"It is to remember the wounds you have inflicted on others."

Those were the words my mother had repeated to me endlessly when she was alive.

Because humans are selfish.

They feel more pain from a paper cut on their fingertip than from someone else's arm being cut off.

Therefore, they obsess over the wounds they received, not the wounds they inflicted.

The seeds of resentment eat away at affection.

And they twist the eyes that were once looking in the same direction.

The sprouting hatred grows little by little, eventually severing the relationship with a foolish disconnection.

"She and I... have inflicted too much pain on each other."

It was no exaggeration.

If Rachel was the one I tormented the most during my wild days.

Margaret was the one who left the cruelest wounds.

"...That's why I thought we needed to talk. For her sake as well as mine."

"Raiden..."

"Of course, I'm not trying to blindly forgive her. Perhaps this step towards the Phyler Duchy will lead to a tomorrow where I sever everything with her."

I haven't decided yet.

How should I treat Margaret in the future?

"At the very least, I thought we should have a chance to explain our positions to each other."

This was not a decision made on a whim.

Even without that, for the past month, Margaret had been on my mind every single day.

If Raymond hadn't called for me, I was thinking of sending a letter saying I would visit her first.

"In the end, I am not being swayed by the situation."

I said calmly.

There were girls glaring at me sullenly, but I didn't cower.

Because I knew that what melted in those gazes was nothing but worry.

I just gave a faint smile.

I rose from my seat.

And then, behind my slowly moving steps, I knelt before my people.

I asked a careful question.

"...Will you understand me?"

A gentle ripple spread through the silence.

His voice, devoid of even a hint of tremor, represented his firm resolve.

The boy's attitude left those watching him with complicated feelings.

The children closed their mouths for a moment.

They soon let out a small sigh.

"Yes... Who would stop you, Brother."

"If you're saying that much, how can we stop you... It's not like you wouldn't go even if we tried to stop you."

"Thank you, Your Highness... Thank you, Ariel."

I expressed my sincere gratitude to the two of them who reluctantly gave their permission with sulky replies.

As I kept my head bowed for a while, Rachel, who had carefully approached me, tapped me on the shoulder.

"If it's the path the Young Master walks, I will follow you anywhere."

The brown eyes that looked up at me were shining transparently.

"However... I hope you won't walk on a path of thorns. I hate to see you hurt."

The girl smiled softly, covering her mouth.

I stared blankly at Rachel like that, and then I returned a silly smile.

"Thank you always."

"Don't mention it."

She spoke nonchalantly, but in reality, I was also afraid.

Meeting Margaret was one of the things that most vividly confronted the past I had been trying so hard to escape from.

But behind me were people.

People who would believe in me and support me no matter what.

In my foolish days, I denied their existence and tried to distance myself, but not now.

They were the greatest blessing in my life.

The only affection I was allowed.

Knowing that, the corners of my lips could now form a smile.

"I'll do my best. For everyone."

The short words evoked the yesterday that had passed.

Engraving the unbroken vow, I rose from my kneeling position.

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