A Depressed Kendo Player Possesses a Bastard Aristocrat
chapter-125

Side Story - What It Means to Be at Peace

Twenty-two years in my past life.

And eighteen years in this one.

I'd say I've lived a pretty full life.

I've learned a lot and experienced even more.

Like the fact that life is just a series of unfortunate events.

Or how the people I love always seem to leave my side.

I know it's a bit bleak...

But I suppose it's inevitable, considering my life has been steeped in loneliness and sorrow.

"Care for a drink?"

"Of course, Father."

However, the realizations I've had recently are quite different from those of the past.

I took a sip from the glass Father handed me and let out a contented sigh.

"Ahh..."

"You're getting better at holding your liquor."

"You too, Father."

Lately, Father and I have been drinking together more often.

Almost three or four times a week, which means we've been spending more time together overall.

"Brother and Father... Drinking again?"

"Young Master... I'm worried about your health."

"What if Raiden gets sick from all this drinking...?"

I heard Ariel, Rachel, and Lucy whispering amongst themselves, but Father and I didn't let go of our glasses.

I savored the rich aroma of alcohol that wafted into my nose and smiled.

This was it.

This was the realization I had recently come to.

A comfortable space, loved ones, and strong alcohol.

I had discovered the joy that this beautiful combination brings.

"Come on, you guys are acting like I'm drinking more than usual. Compared to before, this is nothing."

"That's true. You used to drink every single day."

"Haha, I guess I did."

Of course, back then, it wasn't for pleasure but rather to forget my loneliness.

Who would have thought...

That I would be able to drink like this,

With a light heart,

And a genuine smile on my face.

-Hey, Naru! I brought something amazing today...!

-You haven't had alcohol before, have you, Naru? You're sixteen, it's about time you had a taste!

-You've never even been on a school trip, so you probably haven't had a drink with friends either!

-I'll show you how it's done! But you can't tell anyone, okay?

Come to think of it, there was a time when I did drink before.

I was so naive back then, just blindly following my brother Changho's lead.

I miss him a little. I hope he's doing well.

-Here, repeat after me. Cheers!!

-......!!

-Pfft, hahaha...!! You did it! That's the spirit!

Alcohol is like magic.

It brings back vivid memories that I thought I had forgotten.

And it paints the stories I hold dear in even more nostalgic hues.

I loved this feeling.

Despite all the misfortune I've endured.

My past wasn't all bad.

I cherished these moments, reminiscing about the people I loved.

And as time passed, I was reminded of how important love is to me.

It allowed me to nurture even deeper affection for those around me.

"Ariel, want to try some? You've never even had a sip."

"Hmph, no thanks. I'm good with my lemonade."

The red-haired girl glanced at the glass in my hand for a moment.

Then, she let out a snort and turned her head away.

Uh oh, I think I might have upset her.

Did I say too much?

"Do you hate it that much when I drink?"

"Yes! You smell like alcohol!"

Oh my, our Ariel is at the age where she says such heartbreaking things...

I looked at her with slightly hurt eyes.

My gaze held the melancholy of an older brother watching his little sister go through puberty.

Well, it's a little unfair.

Drinking isn't just about having fun.

When I'm drunk and lying in bed, I can fall asleep instantly without any dark thoughts.

It's a kind of sleep therapy I prescribe to myself... but I don't need to go into that.

I don't want to spoil the mood.

I pushed those thoughts aside and sat closer to Ariel.

"Alright, alright. I'll cut back on the drinking."

"...Really?"

As I said that, stroking her hair, she glanced at me with a pout.

...How can someone be so adorable?

I swear, Ariel must be a different species altogether.

"Promise me! Pinky promise!"

"Pfft, ahaha... O-okay, okay! I promise! Pinky promise!"

She puffed out her cheeks and held out her pinky finger. I couldn't help but laugh.

She's so precious.

And it wasn't just the girl in front of me.

It was a sentiment that extended to everything around us.

The cozy atmosphere, the laughter of my loved ones.

Beyond the hazy scenery, the lingering scent of colorful paints tickled my nose.

"Hey! Why are you laughing?! Are you making fun of me?!"

"Ariel, you really haven't changed a bit since we first met. That's why I love you."

"Even Your Highness is teasing me now...?!"

Perhaps it was a representation of the emotions I had long forgotten.

A loving kiss that gently erases the present contradiction of smiles and tears.

Unable to contain my overflowing heart, I spread my arms wide and pulled the two girls in front of me into a warm embrace.

"Wah...!?"

"Raiden?!"

"Young Master...?"

The two seemed startled for a moment before relaxing into my arms with a familiar sigh.

Their warmth seeped into my chest.

A gentle smile spread across my lips without me realizing it.

"Don't you think you've been a bit too huggy lately?"

"Do you think so?"

"Yeah, yeah! You've been hugging everyone you see!"

"I-I like it... but sometimes it's a bit... sudden...?"

Well, it's not like I hug that many people.

Just Father, Gilbert, Ariel, Lucy, and Rachel...

Okay, maybe it is a bit much.

But what can I say?

It feels so good.

To hold you all, the people I love most.

I just want to let you know how much I love you.

I don't know how else to express it.

I want to feel your warmth a little longer.

I want to savor the feeling of my old emptiness being filled by you.

"So, you don't like it?"

"...It's not that I don't like it."

"I didn't say I hated it!"

"I-I like it too...!!"

Yes, right now.

I just want to etch the beating of my overflowing heart into my memory.

So that even when time passes, and this warmth fades,

And the night returns to my world, filled with compulsion and loneliness,

I can recall this moment and find comfort in the memory.

I want it to leave an unerasable mark on my heart, like the hands of a clock frozen in time.

"Let's all have a toast, shall we?"

"...You know what's weird about you lately, brother? It's like you're trying too hard to be cheerful."

"That doesn't matter. Everyone, raise your glasses! High in the air!"

"Haha, how about a kiddie cocktail for our little missy?"

"Oh, come on! Even you, old man...?!"

Cheers erupted amidst the lively atmosphere.

We emptied our glasses, celebrating this joyous day.

I hid the loss and emptiness of my past deep within my heart, plastering a cheerful smile on my face.

It's okay.

I'm okay.

I have to be okay, so I will be.

Let's just empty our glasses.

So that I can promise you all a brighter future.

"Ahahahaha!!"

"Eeeeek! You're all too much!"

Let's make a pinky promise.

And whisper in each other's ears:

Promise me we'll see each other again.

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