A Regressor’s Tale of Cultivation
chapter-27

Chapter 27: Life (2)

I dumbfoundedly checked the faces of the children one by one.

I seemed to recognize some of them.

"...Is there no other work?"

"Other work? What do you mean?"

"I... am also skilled in medicine. I am good at handling information, and confident in administrative tasks. Or I can take charge of poison or medicine production. Or..."

"That's enough. The production of medicine and poison is not something a mere mortal can offer to a cultivator. And we already have enough people for information and administration. As a martial artist of the Three Flowers Gather at the Summit realm, you'd be more useful as a martial arts instructor."

"...Is there no other job for a martial artist of Three Flowers?"

At this, the eyebrows of the elderly Qi Refiner twitched.

"Are you objecting? Didn't you want to work with the cultivator clan?"

"...No, I misspoke."

I sighed softly and reluctantly accepted his offer.

'If this is fate...'

The children whose necks I had personally severed.

Now, I was to train those same children.

'What an ironic fate.'

I approached the instructor who was teaching the basic martial arts forms to the children.

"Now, strike down from there! Then immediately follow up with a straight..."

"Excuse me, are you the martial arts instructor for these children?"

"Uh? Who are you?"

The instructor was demonstrating with a dagger, and as soon as I saw his martial arts form, I recognized it instantly.

'The dagger technique used by the assassins in my past life, it was taught by this man.'

As soon as he realized I was a martial artist, he seemed eager to test his skills against mine, emitting red intent.

However, I quickly merged my intent with his, covering his intent with purple.

His intent was completely visible to me.

A world where all other colors disappeared.

Only blue, red, and purple intents intermingled in the empty space.

I cut off all his intents and penetrated his guard with mine.

He tried to defend hastily, but I relentlessly attacked his intended position with my intent.

After a while, having been pushed back in the struggle of intents, he sighed deeply and bowed to me.

"Phew, I didn’t recognize a master of Three Flowers. Please forgive me. Yes, I am the martial arts instructor Jeok Rae-ho."

"I am Seo Eun-hyun. Nice to meet you. I was appointed as a martial arts instructor by the true cultivators of the Jin Clan. So, can you tell me how far you've taught them so I can adjust accordingly..."

"Ah, so you're the new instructor!"

His face brightened noticeably.

"Ha ha ha! Come this way, then."

He pointed to a small hut next to the training ground, apparently his quarters.

"Everyone, repeat the same movement 500 times! I’ll be back after entertaining the guest!"

"....?"

After assigning the children a seemingly meaningless repetitive task, he led me to the hut.

The inside of the hut was simple.

There wasn’t much that could be considered his belongings.

"First, let me pour you a cup of tea. But you seem quite young for a Three Flowers master. Are you perhaps in the legendary realm of rejuvenation?"

"Um... not rejuvenation. Just think of it as a unique method."

"I see. Even among cultivators, all sorts of strange spells circulate, so a youth-restoring method isn’t surprising...It seems like the cultivator clan brought in a new expert since I'm not making much progress."

As he prepared the tea, I turned my gaze outside.

"Is teaching not going well?"

"Huh... The kids have plenty of will. Of course, they've all lost their parents and siblings to the Makli cultivator clan and they're told they can seek revenge... But will is one thing, and the kids are... tsk."

Chrrrk.

He placed a small cup in front of me and poured the tea.

"They lack talent. They weren't selected for talent, just orphaned children taken for training, so it's strange if they had any. The most talented child I’ve seen can probably only reach early first-rate. Maybe they can use sword energy at best. That's their limit.

And yet, the cultivator clan thinks I'm not teaching well enough and keeps pestering me. I'm already losing personal training time to those kids as it is. It's driving me mad. So, my motivation to teach is dropping."

"Hmm..."

"I tried to resign, but the clan insists I can't leave until a new instructor is found. But honestly, the cultivator clan seems to want at least a peak master as an instructor. Where can you find peak masters as common as neighborhood dogs?

I might be stuck here, but I was once a renowned eccentric in the martial world."

As he presented the tea, I asked while savoring the aroma.

"So, Instructor Jeok, now that I’ve arrived, are you planning to resign?"

"Ha ha, yes, something like that. I've talked too much. I laid some foundation, so you should manage fine. I came for the high salary, but I don't want to waste time teaching those kids anymore. Ha ha ha, I'll be on my way then."

After finishing his tea, Jeok Rae-ho quickly packed his things and left the hut.

He seemed very eager to avoid further teaching responsibilities.

"......"

'I didn’t expect this...'

I thought I would at least be able to teach alongside him, but on the first day, the other instructor ran away.

'What kind of person is he...'

I finished my tea with a sense of disbelief and went out to the training ground.

The children were still repetitively practicing stabbing motions with their daggers.

"...Everyone, stop!"

When I shouted with my internal energy, the children looked at me in surprise.

"Former instructor Jeok Rae-ho resigned and left. Now, I am your new martial arts..."

I was about to say 'instructor' but swallowed my words and said,

"Martial arts 'master'! From today, I will be teaching you!"

At my words, they all stopped their movements, stood in their spots in a well-arranged posture, and saluted me with a martial arts bow.

'I thought he taught them the basics, but did he teach them how to hold greet?'

By my estimate, there were about 500 children.

According to Jeok Rae-ho, besides this place, there were other training grounds where assassins were being trained.

'Why did he teach saluting to assassins?'

After clearing my mind of these thoughts, I went down to the training ground and approached the child at the front.

"What's your name?"

"My name is Fourteen..."

"I asked for your name, not your number. Don't you have a name given by your parents?"

At the mention of parents, the child's breathing seemed to become slightly rougher.

"...Man-ho."

"Alright. Everyone except Man-ho, go to the side of the training ground and rest! From now on, I'll be examining each of your levels!"

At my command, the children seemed to stir briefly before sitting down next to the training ground.

"Come at me. Attack me with the intent to kill, as if I were a cultivator of the Makli Clan."

Man-ho hesitated for a moment, then glared at me and kicked the ground, throwing sand in my eyes.

'Good judgment. He knows he can't compete in strength, so he attacks by blinding me with sand.'

However,

'It's useless against a peak master.'

I closed my eyes and sensed Man-ho's intent, catching the end of his dagger and disarming him.

"I understand your level. You may go. Next, you come out."

The next child to come out hesitated briefly before saluting me.

"Don't salute. Would you salute your enemy in a real fight? Attack me with the intention to kill."

The child grabbed a\his dagger and thrust it at me quickly.

I moved slightly to dodge and disarmed him.

"Good thrust. What's your name?"

"...Yeo-lo."

"Alright, Yeo-lo, go back. Next, come out."

I continued to call the children out for sparring to assess their levels.

By the time I called the two hundred thirty-third child and was about to call the next one,

I was startled!

I was startled to see the face of the next child who came out.

She was a girl, and quite pretty, but her expression was filled with murderous intent.

I knew that face.

'The day I realized Sword Silk.'

She was the female assassin I had personally beheaded.

"...What's your name?"

"Kae-hwa."

"...Alright. Attack."

Swoosh!

Kae-hwa attacked me with quick hand movements, thrusting her dagger.

She was among the fastest I had seen.

But,

'Something's off.'

I deflected Kae-hwa's dagger with the tip of my foot and thought.

Fast, but that's all.

Her form was poor, and her internal energy was weak.

Third-rate, and early third-rate at that.

She has some talent among the children, but...

'No real talent.'

This level of talent would only be slightly above average in a local dojo.

How could such talent have threatened me in my past life?

'Did the cultivators use some strange ability?'

In my past life, Kim Young-hoon had mentioned that spirits were used to awaken the assassins' talents.

'Forced awakening of talent... I don't know how that works, so it's hard to predict their future growth.'

I finished my thoughts, sent Kae-hwa back, and continued testing the children.

By the time I had tested all 500 children, it was evening.

'There are eighty of them.'

The number of children I had personally beheaded and confirmed in my past life.

Adding the assassins whose faces I hadn't seen, the number would be much more.

I felt a complex emotion.

In my past life, I had merely done my duty, but in this life, that duty feels like a sin.

'...Can't help it. The past is the past.'

If I can't wash away this unease, then I'll do my duty to the best of my ability in this life too.

"Listen well, everyone. From now on, you'll come out one by one and demonstrate martial arts in front of me, starting with Man-ho!"

"Instructor..."

"Call me 'Master' or 'Teacher.'"

"Yes... Master. The previous instructor used to let us practice internal energy after sunset..."

"Internal energy?"

I chuckled and said,

"Listen, everyone. You are all dullards. From my sparring with you, I've realized you can never reach the pinnacle realm of martial arts, not even first-rate, through normal training!

To reach that level, you must become mad! Only with madness and ambition beyond a genius is there a glimmer of hope.

From today, you won't practice internal energy even after sunset. You'll only start internal energy training when you can perform martial art moves as natural as breathing. You can't return to your quarters until you meet my standards either, whether it's night or day, without proper training!

If you can't do at least one thing correctly, there will be no rest for you! Again, start by demonstrating martial arts in front of me, one person at a time!"

I started with Man-ho and continued to have the children demonstrate their martial arts in turn.

'They are all basically trained in dagger martial arts, probably influenced by the previous instructor.'

I watched the children demonstrate their martial arts and thought,

'But dagger martial arts are not suitable for everyone.'

Some are better with swords, some with spears, and others with maces.

Some say such martial arts are too flashy or have large movements for assassination.

But that's nonsense.

'The leader of the Shadow Guards wielded a large halberd and still protected the Emperor in the shadows. Assassins don't have to use only small weapons.'

I thought of suitable weapons for each child while watching their martial arts demonstration.

'Man-ho suits a greatsword. Yeo-lo a spear, and Kae-hwa is good with daggers.'

I recalled the martial art manuals I had seen during my time as the chief strategist of the Wulin Alliance and thought of martial arts suitable for the weapons.

After the martial arts demonstration, I had the disciples cut down nearby trees to carve weapons suitable for the martial arts they would learn.

After they had made crude weapons from wood, I taught them weapon techniques and martial arts.

Once they memorized the appropriate martial art forms, weapons, and training methods, dawn was breaking again.

The children, having learned the basic forms of the martial arts I taught, swung their weapons with faces that looked like they were about to collapse.

By noon, children began to collapse from exhaustion in the training ground.

I pulled out the exhausted ones, laid them down in a cool place, and used acupuncture to activate their life force and energy, enhancing their self-healing ability.

Eventually, all the children in the training ground fainted.

I pulled them all out and used acupuncture to activate their life force, then went to find the cultivator clan.

The cultivator clan had an internal financial manager who managed the clan’s assets like gold and silver that were used in the mortal world.

I went to the external financial manager.

"I need new weapons."

"What kind?"

"The types are..."

I took out a paper with the types of weapons I had listed and handed it to the external financial manager, who was from the mortal world.

The external financial manager looked at the paper and growled at me, glaring.

"Are you crazy? You want all this?"

"Just one of each. The cultivator clan is rich, so it shouldn't be a problem, right?"

"This... still, there's a limit."

"And not just weapons, but also some herbs."

"What? Herbs? What herbs!"

"Herbs to aid in training recovery. Hmm, I definitely said I wanted them. If the children's martial arts progress is hindered, it's all your fault."

"What, how can that be..."

The external financial manager seemed flustered but eventually agreed to my request for weapons and herbs.

A few days later, I received the herbs and weapons, distributed them to the disciples, and taught them how to properly wield the weapons.

They trained with the weapons I chose until they were exhausted, and then I fed them medicines I had made to recover their strength.

After about a year of teaching, the eyes of the disciples were filled with venom.

Now, they could all follow the basic moves of their weapon techniques even with their eyes closed.

At that time, I finally taught them internal energy cultivation methods.

Of course, I didn't let them sit comfortably and practice internal energy.

They had to train with their weapons, combining form and practice.

Another year passed, and the eyes of the disciples were filled with a murderous intent to kill me.

'Now they've all grown to late third-rate.'

Excluding the time for meals and necessary daily tasks, my disciples practiced martial arts incessantly, without a moment to rest.

There was no time set aside for sleep.

They trained continuously from sunrise to sunset, and then from sunrise again, only resting when they fainted from exhaustion.

Their bodies did not easily succumb to harm. Thanks to the herbs sent from the cultivator clan, which I used to make medicine, and my use of acupuncture to prevent exhaustion-related damage, they were kept in good health.

I allowed them to rest fully only twice a month, and the rest of the time was dedicated to relentless training, training, and more training.

Thanks to my, perhaps, insane teaching methods, all my disciples reached the early stages of the second tier in just three years.

'I'm glad they've all followed well.'

I thought this as I sparred with my disciples today.

The training was grueling to the point of nausea, but none of them ever gave up.

'Their deep-seated anger towards the Makli Clan, responsible for the death of their families, must be driving them.'

Whoosh!

Swinging a great sword, a disciple named Hae-woong followed my movements with eyes ablaze with murderous intent.

Yet, I closed my eyes, dodged his sword, and kicked his legs.

"Your lower body is exposed."

Thud!

But the disciple didn't flinch, continuing his attack even as his leg was kicked.

'Good, he's grown in spirit.'

I dodged the sword again and then thrust my hand deep into his side.

"Cough!"

"Next."

The next opponent was a girl named Cheong-ya. I heard she had watched her parents turn into a pool of blood at the hands of a cultivator.

Swish!

Cheong-ya, wielding hidden weapons in both hands, launched them at me. I had personally taught her my Infinite Fighting Hidden Weapon Technique.

"The initial form of 'Double Killing Snake' is not used like that. You need to create a very slight delay."

I caught all the hidden weapons she threw and returned them, advising her.

Though they all showed remarkable growth compared to three years ago, they still fell short in my eyes.

'But they all have more talent than I do.'

When I was third-tier, it took me ten years just to barely step into the next realm.

Of course, back in my days, there were no peak master or crazy martial arts training schedules. Even the time to practice martial arts was limited. But these children were still better than me.

'Even I, at their stage, had only taken a single step forward, while they had leaped across realms.'

I wasn't just idling. While overseeing my disciples' martial arts, I continuously operated the vision of a peak master every day, delving into the world of intent and observing consciousness.

While teaching, I used the Record of Transcending Cultivation and Exhausting Martial Arts to its limits, observing the results and analyzing the patterns of consciousness. My efforts in delving deeper into intent were not in vain.

Only recently, within the realm of Three Flowers Gather at the Summit, was I able to take another step forward.

As I grew accustomed to handling intent and practicing the Record, I discovered the world beyond the three colors, finding the next color.

The fourth color!

I discovered it the day after an endless sparring session with my disciples, on one of their bi-monthly rest days.

This intent was not as clear as the others. Unlike intent during combat, it did not take the form of a thread, and the actions it led to were not precise.

Compared to the intentions I had felt so far, this was utterly alien!

Yet, paradoxically, it was precisely because it was so alien that I could detect it.

The color of the fourth intent was pale pink.

The name of this intent was 'Love.'

The loving intent stretched from Man-ho to Kae-hwa.

'How pure.'

I was quite surprised when I discovered this intent.

To think that love could blossom even during such grueling training.

Of course, besides Man-ho, several other disciples also had loving intent towards others.

'Humans are truly remarkable.'

Even in hellish conditions, emotions can bloom.

That's what it means to be human.

I continued to observe my disciples' intents and oversee their martial arts training.

Two years had passed since I discovered the intent of Love.

Having become adept in understanding intent I discovered a fifth intent in just two years.

This new intention was a dark crimson hue.

Its name was 'Hatred.'

The intent of hatred had been so naturally mixed with my disciples' intents that it took me some time to notice.

The intent of hatred was faintly directed towards me, occasionally towards each other, but mostly it extended towards some unseen place.

It was probably directed towards the cultivators of the Makli Clan.

'Intriguing.'

The intents discovered after Three Flowers seemed somewhat removed from martial arts.

Yet why does one find such emotions in the pursuit of martial arts?

In combat, how can these emotions be of any significance?

'...The promised time is approaching.'

The day to meet Kim Young-hoon was drawing near.

For the first time in a long while, I left the Jin Clan's territory and headed to Cheolryong City.

As I entered the manor I had bought previously, Kim Young-hoon was waiting for me.

"It's been a while, Seo Eun-hyeon. I couldn't find you anywhere for five years. Where have you been?"

"Hmm, well... I just went to a quiet mountain village. By the way, Kim Hyung..."

I asked him, measuring his intent.

"Have you reached the edge of Three Flowers Gather at the Summit, or have you already stepped into the next realm?"

He was on the verge of reaching Five Energies Converging to the Origin.

"Haha, it seems so. Challenging the greatest in the world, I found myself at Five Energies before I knew it. It's all thanks to the Secrets of Gazing Cultivation and Exceeding Martial Arts. It truly deserves to be called divine martial arts."

The Secret Methods was indeed a tremendous martial art.

The minimum entry requirement was Three Flowers, and even I, who had reached that realm, found it difficult and only studied its lesser counterpart, the Record of Transcending Cultivation and Exhausting Martial Arts.

"Anyway, thanks to the Secret Methods, I've come this far... And you've made some progress too?"

"Yes. I've successfully discovered the fourth and fifth intent."

"Haha, congratulations. It's definitely fascinating, isn't it? The world of martial arts. Just when I thought I had finally reached the end, it turned out to be just the beginning of discovering more intent...How joyful!"

Joy...

Do I find joy in martial arts?

I'm not sure. I've just been mindlessly challenging myself.

Perhaps that's the source of Kim Young-hoon's talent.

I asked him what I had been curious about.

"By the way, Kim Hyung. I've never considered emotions like love or hatred in my martial arts practice. I've always thought they were useless in exerting force. Indeed, they don't help in combat.

But why do we discover these emotions while pursuing martial arts?"

"Hmm..."

Kim Young-hoon pondered my question for a moment, then drew his saber with a grin.

"What use is there in only talking? Let's have a match."

"Haha, as expected of Kim Hyung."

Swoosh-

Yes, that's what it means to be a martial artist.

Swish!

Kim Young-hoon's intent shot towards me.

A red line intertwined with my intent, turning purple.

I read his intent, understood his purpose, and swung my sword.

Severing Vein Saber Method

Mountain Wind!

Beyond the purple intent that connected us, it seemed like I could hear Kim Young-hoon's martial art moves.

Swish!

An incredibly fast thrust aimed at me.

Severing Mountain Swordsmanship

Entering Mountain!

Boom!

I switched to a low stance to dodge his thrust and then...

Severing Mountain Swordsmanship

Qi Mountain, Heart Heaven

I opened my meridians and extended the length of my sword, aiming for Kim Young-hoon's ankle.

Severing Vein Saber Method

Mountain Echo!

Ting!

The sound of the saber resonated.

Kim Young-hoon's energy vibrated through his saber blade.

The subtly vibrating blade aimed straight at my sword silk.

'I mustn't let it touch.'

My sword silk wouldn't be able to handle it!

Boom!

I infused my sword silk with intent, connecting with Kim Young-hoon's intent, and turning it into Sword Gang.

Whoom-

As his vibrating saber touched my Sword Gang, my Sword Gang visibly faded, and its speed slowed.

'If I hadn't converted it to Sword Gang, it wouldn't just have dispersed; the sword silk would have shattered, and the impact would have reached me.'

Kim Young-hoon's intent spread widely.

Severing Vein Saber Method

Mountain Sound

The energy flowing from his saber spread out like waves.

Seemingly resonating in all directions but ultimately focusing a single powerful blow at me!

Such a technique couldn't be blocked by ordinary martial arts.

Severing Mountain Swordsmanship

Mountain Echoes, Valley Responds

I also transformed my sword energy into a waveform, neutralizing his technique.

Beyond Mountain Sound, numerous intents whirled as Kim Young-hoon slowly approached.

Exhilarating.

His steps were free, yet each movement avoided even the slightest disturbance in the air, approaching along the utmost efficient trajectory.

Severing Vein Saber Method

Mountain Bird

His movement was akin to a small bird.

As I read the trajectory of his intent and prepared to respond to his next move...

"...?"

From the depths of Kim Young-hoon's emotions, the intent of love burst forth, intertwining with the trajectory of intent I was trying to discern. Simultaneously, the trajectory of intent I had been reading became a chaotic mess, making it difficult to understand.

As he approached with Mountain Bird, his saber was already swinging right in front of me.

'What...!'

To counter his trajectory, I first used Transcendent Peaks Step to pressurize his movements and responded to his Mountain Bird.

As Kim Young-hoon came closer to me, he seemed to smile slightly and thrust his saber.

Severing Vein Saber Method

Mountain Opening

Chwaak!

Numerous saber blades whirled around.

I countered with Landscape Painting and exchanged blows with him.

From one technique to the next, his intent surged forth, and my intent countered his.

With every exchange of techniques, countless lines intersected in the world of intent, engaging in a battle of harmony.

It was when my blue thread blocked his red trajectory.

Whoosh!

Kim Young-hoon's red trajectory turned into a dark crimson hue.

The intent of hatred.

This intent of hatred easily penetrated my blue intent and disrupted my inner harmony, leading to an actual collision between my sword and his saber.

The energy on his saber blazed as if on fire.

Just like in the world of intent, his blade cut through my sword and aimed straight for my heart.

Boom!

Our sparring ended there.

"...What was that just now?"

"You saw it, didn't you?"

Kim Young-hoon smiled.

"Emotions can be infused in martial arts."

"......"

I couldn't calm my shaken mind for a moment and asked him in return.

"Does it mean that martial arts are alive when you say emotions exist in martial arts?"

He smiled and asked back.

"What do you think? Is martial arts alive?"

"...No."

I spoke of what I felt while practicing martial arts, the realization I had when I understood Sword Silk.

"Martial arts are not alive. It's me who's alive, and it's only martial arts when I infuse my intent into it."

"Right. The sword isn't alive. But the martial artist wielding and swinging it is alive. Sword Silk is the intent infused by the martial artist, and the Sword Gang is the communication of that intent with the world. Then..."

He continued.

"If infusing our own intent into martial arts means that martial arts becomes a part of ourselves, then emotions like love and hatred, integral to our being, are also a part of us. Even though you said that they have no meaning in the pursuit of martial arts, we are ultimately made of such emotions."

"...Ah..."

Somehow, it made sense.

"Martial arts aren't alive, but the human wielding them is. What makes up that human are emotions. So, the more we delves into martial arts, we also deepen our understanding of ourselves, exploring the very core of our existence.

If understanding oneself reaches a certain level, like I just did, it's possible to influence the trajectory of intent."

"...Thank you for the advice."

"Hahaha. If blue and red is the level of survival instinct, and purple is the level of true understanding, then the colors beyond them are about ourselves. And..."

He looked up at the sky and said.

"When we understand all the colors that humans possess, we earn the right to see the colors beyond human reach. That is..."

"Five Energies Converging to the Origin."

Kim Young-hoon nodded.

"Thanks to the Secrets of Gazing Cultivation and Exceeding Martial Arts, I'm qualified to challenge Five Energies. So, I wonder... could you stand guard for me?"

I nodded.

"Of course."

In the manor where no one else was present, Kim Young-hoon immediately sat in meditation and began his challenge to transcend the realm.

I also watched intently, hoping to see him crossover.

The vision of a peak master.

Blue and red.

Beyond is the vision of Three Flowers.

Purple and many other different colors.

'Those are the colors Kim Young-hoon has realized.'

In my sight, only pale pink and dark crimson of Kim Young-hoon's intents were visible.

However, I could guess his other intents through these two hues.

Intents not visible to me, writhing beyond love and hatred.

'Ah...!'

His red intent began to branch out.

Up to this point, it was a sight I had seen in my past life.

But now, having reached Three Flowers, I saw another realm.

The intent of love and hatred intertwined, filling the gaps in his red intent.

They began to connect.

Many other invisible intents must be doing the same.

The red intent expanded, the dark crimson brushed past, and the pale pink filled the interior.

Beautiful.

Eventually, all his intent converged and overtook the surrounding area.

Whoong-

Energy from the surroundings was drawn in.

Though I couldn't see it in detail, I surmised that Kim Young-hoon was already seeing another world.

The energies gathered around him soon clustered above his head into five circles, then merged into a five-colored cloud that flowed into Kim Young-hoon's mouth and nose.

A moment later.

Crack, crackle-

Kim Young-hoon's body began a transformation, undergoing a metamorphosis.

I observed this process, pushing my brain to its limits.

His skin cleared, wrinkles smoothed out.

Dead cells revived, and hair grew on his head.

His aged face became younger, even younger than mine.

A complete rejuvenation!

Kim Young-hoon, who had succeeded in rejuvenation, half-opened his eyes.

"Did you see it, Eun-hyun?"

"...Yes. It's beautiful."

"I hope it was helpful to you."

"Thank you."

I bowed to him in gratitude.

The scene I had just witnessed would be immensely helpful for when I reach Five Energies Converging to the Origin.

I spent a few days discussing martial arts with him and then returned to the Jin Clan's territory.

On the way back, I realized another intent.

The color was gold.

It was the intent of joy.