Civil Servant in Romance Fantasy
chapter-250

I approached Louise from behind after sending the chef away, but she didn't react at all. I hadn’t tried to hide my footsteps, but she just kept kneading the dough absentmindedly. This wasn’t like her at all.

To make matters worse, she wasn't even kneading the dough properly. She kept working on the same spot over and over again. Now, it looked less like dough and more like some kind of sticky mess.

"Louise."

"Y-Yes!?"

She jumped and spun around the moment I lightly tapped her shoulder. It was almost embarrassing—like clapping your hands loudly in front of a napping cat.

Noticing my awkwardness, Louise forced a smile. Seeing that she was still catching her breath, she was clearly startled.

"Oh, oppa. When did you get here?"

"I just arrived."

I glanced at the dough disaster she was working on. I might not be a pastry expert, but I did serve as an advisor for the pastry club for two semesters.

"That dough isn't usable."

At the very least, I knew how to judge when the ingredients were beyond saving.

"Haha... You're right. What a waste..."

Of course, Louise knew that too. She gave me a sheepish smile while glancing at me.

I knew what she wanted to say. Luckily, the head chef had already given me a heads-up. If I hadn't known, I would have been wondering why she was acting like this.

Today was supposed to be a happy day for Louise. I had decided on that.

"I can eat cookies now, you know."

So, there was no need to beat around the bush. I didn't want to leave anything unsaid and risk any misunderstandings. Marghetta had already shown me the consequences of poor communication through her tears.

Louise’s eyes widened in surprise when I smiled. She probably didn’t expect me to address the matter so directly.

"Can we talk for a moment?"

I wrapped my arm around her waist, and her face instantly turned red. However, I didn’t let it bother me. Today was meant to be a happy day for her.

As we were about to leave the kitchen, I noticed the head chef in the corner giving me a thumbs-up, as if to encourage me.

Honestly.

I almost laughed at the contrast between his gruff exterior and kind heart. He truly was a beast with the soul of a gentleman.

Naturally, I responded with a thumbs-up of my own. You matched that with another, after all.

***I considered heading to the garden, but the chilly wind made me think twice. The conversation might take long, and it’d be cruel to let a lady shiver outside.

So, we went to the sitting room instead. I hadn’t used the space in a while, but it was spotless—someone had clearly been keeping it well-maintained in my absence. Everyone here really did their job well.

"You should take it easy. Aren’t you tired?"

I had Louise sit down before speaking. She’d been through a lot in Wulken the past few days, and yet she headed straight to the kitchen upon returning. Was she that dedicated, or did she simply love baking that much?

"Everyone’s been so kind, so I wanted to give them a little something in return."

Seeing her respond with a sheepish grin made me pause. Who could discourage someone who just wanted to express their gratitude? Even the butler seemed happy about it.

I only mentioned it because I felt sorry to see her struggling, not because I was blaming her, so there wasn’t much more to say.

"So, what were you trying to make?"

At that, I saw her flinch.

"Cookies... but then I thought I'd make bread instead..."

Louise hesitated, her eyes darting around nervously. From the way her eyes were trembling, it seemed like she was recalling all the times she’d given me cookies to eat.

There was no need for her to worry like that. She never forced me to eat anything—I ate them because I wanted to.

However, Louise didn’t see it that way. She kept glancing around, clearly troubled. This could’ve turned into a real problem if we left it unchecked. The head chef just saved the day.

"I like cookies. Have you ever forced me to eat them?"

I sat beside her as I spoke, and she quickly shook her head. She did it so vigorously that her pink hair brushed against my cheek.

Even so, her face was still a mix of confusion, guilt, and gloom. The chef told her I don’t eat cookies, while I was saying I liked them. From her perspective, it must’ve been confusing—one of us had to be lying.

It must have been a real dilemma for her, trying to figure out if she was being deceived or if she should be suspicious of someone. If she’d been alone, she might have even cried.

"To be fair, the head chef wasn’t entirely wrong. I haven’t eaten cookies in a while."

I quickly added before it caused any more distress.

"But it’s not because I dislike them. If I did, I wouldn’t have eaten the ones you gave me, right?"

Louise’s head gradually lowered as I gently patted her on the head.

Was she embarrassed? No, that couldn’t be it. I’ve patted her head countless times before, so she wouldn’t be embarrassed by that. It seemed that she was adjusting her posture to make it easier for me to pat her and to better receive the gesture.

Capybara.

The name popped into my head after a long time. A capybara was a friendly animal that enjoyed the touch of others—just like her.

"I need to talk to you about something that might be a bit boring."

I spoke again, watching her.

The first misunderstanding was cleared up. The head chef didn’t lie to her, and I didn’t dislike cookies. We could leave it at that.

But the fact that I hadn’t eaten cookies for a long time remained true. That question needed an answer for this to be completely resolved.

"Will you listen?"

"Yes."

Her immediate response made me smile softly.

"Lift your head, too."

"Oh, right."

Despite her quick response, she still kept her head down. We should at least be looking at each other while we talked.

***Oppa asked me to listen, but he didn’t speak for a long time.

I didn’t press him because I knew he’d speak when he was ready. He was probably just thinking about where to begin.

"Four years ago… you’ve heard about the Great War, right?"

"Yes, I have."

I was a bit surprised by the serious start, but I didn’t let it show. He might close up again just when he was about to speak if I got flustered now.

"That’s when I met my first love."

This time, I couldn’t help but react. Hearing about the first love of the man you love—how could any woman hear that and not feel something?

And of all times, it had to be during the war that he met his first love. Oppa's first love, someone I’d never even seen...

No way.

A thought flashed through my mind, but I quickly pushed it aside.

"She left because I wasn’t enough for her."

But oppa spoke the words first. His lips curved into a faint smile, but his eyes couldn’t hide the sorrow within them.

Even as he continued speaking, that smile stayed on his face.

He went on to speak about how he started his career in the Prosecutors' Office, suddenly got promoted to team leader, and then was abruptly sent to war. That was where his hardships and relationships began.

"Honestly, I wonder where they found people like that."

His smile deepened as he talked about the other team managers, the ones known as the Six Swords in the textbooks. It was as if he was reminiscing about the happiest time of his life, a time he knew he could never return to.

"And I wasn’t exactly normal for falling in love in the middle of all that."

But when he mentioned Hecate, one of the Six Swords, his smile wasn’t just a smile—it was a full, radiant beam.

Seeing that, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy. Hecate must have been truly loved, someone oppa cherished deeply. At the same time, it broke my heart. I couldn’t even imagine how he must have felt when he lost someone he loved that much.

But I didn’t say anything. To pity oppa when he was trying so hard to speak casually about it would have been a great insult.

"...Oh, I almost forgot to mention something important."

Lost in his memories, oppa suddenly seemed to remember something and shifted the topic.

"Like I mentioned earlier, I didn’t eat cookies from the end of the war until I came to the Academy."

Hearing that, I unconsciously tensed up.

If someone suddenly stops eating something, then there must be a significant reason behind it. And whether I meant to or not, I had offered cookies to oppa, who had such a reason.

"Even during the war, they provided us with desserts because we had to eat sweet things to keep up morale."

Well, you can’t keep going on just hard bread, right?

He added with a slight smile, and I just nodded. It didn’t seem like he was looking for a response as he quickly moved on to something else.

"There were cookies among the desserts, though calling them cookies is a bit of a stretch. They were basically just flour dough with sugar thrown in and baked."

I couldn’t help but picture the ‘cookies’ he described. Just lumps of dough with a bit of sugar mixed in, lacking any real ingredients...

Could that even be called a cookie?

"But they were sweet enough, so we ate them because we had to. And even those were in short supply, so we had to ration them."

He chuckled softly, though his expression betrayed a sense of nostalgia.

"Hecate liked them. The others knew that so they often let her have them, and then she’d share them with me."

"...Those cookies were precious."

"Yes, they were priceless."

Now I understood. Hearing all this, there was no way I couldn’t.

To oppa, cookies weren’t just a simple treat. They were a food filled with memories, a reflection of his love with his first love. And after losing that love, they became a cursed food he couldn’t bring himself to touch.

You idiot.

I bit my lip hard, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill. My eyes stung, but I forced myself to stay composed.

I made a terrible mistake with oppa. Hiding behind my ignorance, I unknowingly tore at his heart from the moment we first met until now.

But I shouldn’t—and mustn’t—cry in front of him. How could I, the one who caused the pain, shed tears in front of the one who suffered? That would be so cowardly.

"I’m sor—"

"Don’t."

My too-late apology was stopped by oppa’s index finger before it could even leave my lips.

"I just didn’t eat them because there was no one to share them with after that. There’s no other reason."

"But, still, I—"

"If anything, I was happy to have them again. Who else would take the trouble to bring me cookies?"

Tears welled up in my eyes as oppa burst out laughing.

This wasn’t right. I shouldn’t be crying like this and using my tears to escape. I shouldn’t just brush off something that needed a proper apology…

"Thank you, Louise."

And even those words weren’t something I should hear from him...

But then, oppa took my hand and looked straight into my tear-filled eyes.

"I’m not just saying this. I’m really grateful."

I couldn’t meet his gaze.

What right did I have? I had only added to his pain, pushing cookies on him every day thinking I was doing something good when it was really just rubbing salt in his wound.

"You reconnected memories that had been lost. You helped me move beyond the past and see the present."

But I couldn’t avoid his eyes any longer when he gently lifted my chin.

"You helped me when I might have been trapped in the past forever."

Then, oppa took out a small case from his pocket with a warm smile.

"You might think it was just a coincidence or even a mistake. But to me, it was truly helpful."

His hands untied the pink ribbon wrapped around the case.

"So now, it’s my turn to give something back to you."

My hands started to shake. I couldn't calm down when I saw what he pulled out of the case.

A ring. It was definitely a ring. It had a peculiar, half-split design, but that made it all the more meaningful.

It was the same style of ring that Lady Marghetta wore. Two rings that, when joined, formed a beautiful whole.

"Will you accept it?"

Embarrassed, I couldn’t hold back my tears any longer and cried my heart out.

***When the tears subsided after a while, I watched Louise smile brightly as she admired her new ring. Seeing her so happy filled me with a deep sense of satisfaction.

I knew then that this was the perfect moment to say something I had been holding back. Now was the time.

"Louise, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you."

"Yes! Please, go ahead!"

"...You don’t have to put any strange ingredients in the cookies anymore."

"Oh..."

Louise, who had been lovingly admiring the ring, suddenly looked a little deflated.

I’m sorry. I could actually start tasting the difference recently, and I think I finally understand why the others couldn’t eat them.

I’m sorry...