Damn Reincarnation
chapter-205

The sun was setting.

Anise looked out the window, still holding a half-finished mug of beer. The pub was located deep within an alley, but even here, the light of the sunset was flowing in, albeit dimly.

“Well then,” Anise sighed.

She had drunk a lot of beer today.

Though considering that she hadn’t been able to drink for the hundreds of years following her death, no matter how much Anise drank, she still felt like it wouldn’t be enough. Even so, Anise had drunk so much that she didn’t feel like drinking anymore right now.

She had also received a gift.

As such, Anise didn’t have any lingering regrets for the time being. If Kristina’s body wasn’t so special, and if Anise didn’t have a role to play in the future, then she was confident that she would have been able to fully satisfy her desires with what she had just experienced today.

“I’ll just head in now,” Anise informed Eugene.

“Mm,” Eugene hummed as he scanned the area around Anise with tired eyes.

The floor was filled with the glasses of the beers she had drunk, and a large keg of beer had even been placed beside her.

It would have been physically impossible for a normal person — no, for any human to have drunk that much beer in such a short period of time. It was only made possible because Anise had used divine magic on her own body to enable her to drink a lot of alcohol.

“See you later,” Eugene said gruffly.

He almost subconsciously said, ‘take care on your way back.’

But since her body was staying still and only the consciousness in charge of the body was changing, wouldn’t it be funny to be told to take care on your way back?

After a few moments, Anise’s body froze. Then the eyelashes of her closed eyes began to tremble.

“...Urrrp…,” Kristina covered her mouth and released a painful moan.

Kristina didn’t really enjoy drinking. If she had to drink, then she preferred a dry wine. As for a mug of beer cold enough to make your head spin? She had never once thought that something like that could taste good.

Now, she had ended up drinking more of that beer than was even humanly possible…. Although Anise had evaporated most of the beer she had drunk using divine magic, Kristina was still left bothered by a throbbing headache and the smell of alcohol that overwhelmed her senses with each breath.

“Are you alright?” Eugene asked as he approached her.

In response, Kristina rose from her seat in a panic and tried to step back. As her body still hadn’t recovered from its drunkenness, her legs twisted a little as she retreated. Because of this, Kristina was about to fall, only for Eugene to reach out to her without delay, grab her by the arm and support her waist.

Eugene frowned, “It seems like you aren’t feeling so good, right?”

“N-n-no, you can’t,” Kristina stammered as she covered her face, which was still reddened from intoxication.

“What do you mean you can’t?” Eugene asked in confusion.

Kristina stammered, “I-I smell of alcohol. It’s not a pleasant scent, so….”

“Really now,” Eugene scoffed.

After wandering around for over a dozen years with a group of comrades who would lose all restraint when it came to alcohol, there was no way that Eugene would feel disgusted by the smell of beer at this point.

Or at least that’s what Eugene thought, but he didn’t feel any need to embarrass Kristina any further by spitting such words out of his mouth. Instead, he drew up a spell formula inside his head and cast some magic.

“Ah…,” Kristina gasped as she felt the spell wrap around her.

The throbbing headache and the smell of alcohol that permeated her body completely disappeared.

[Tch,] Anise clicked her tongue from inside Kristina’s head.

Anise was obviously capable of erasing Kristina’s intoxication, as well as the headache and the smell of beer, yet she hadn’t bothered to do so. She had left just enough intoxication so that Kristina’s head would be left clouded to a certain extent, and her emotions would be slightly intensified…. On top of that, Anise had even carefully adjusted the state of her body so that Kristina would stagger a little when she got up.

Why did she do all this? She was thinking of watching the fun that might result from this exquisitely balanced state of intoxication….

So Anise was genuinely annoyed that Eugene had mastered such a spell.

[It really did come as a surprise that he would learn to use magic… he could have just relied on his body like he did in his previous life,] Anise whined.

Kristina pretended to not hear Anise’s murmur as she hurriedly corrected her posture.

She ran a hand through her disheveled hair and coughed, “...My apologies for showing such a shameful appearance. U-unlike Lady Anise, I’m not that used to drinking, so

“It’s not that she’s used to drinking; she’s just a monster,” Eugene grumbled as he pointed at the closed door of the pub. “So what are you going to do? Would you like to stay here as well? Or else, shall we head out?”

Kristina hesitated, “Let’s… go out. That’s right. I’ve already eaten far too much, so I want to take a bit of a walk.”

It wasn’t like Kristina had any plans. In the first place, Kristina had intended to yield the entire day to Anise. It was Anise who had placed the limit on her time in Kristina’s body till sunset.

Most festivals were more fun at night than they were during the day. The same went for Anise’s birthday festivities.

While the parade had started during the day, the parade at night was especially splendid. Entertainers would march along while dancing and wearing fancy clothes and accessories, and an orchestra would follow behind them, singing hymns with cheerful lyrics.

Kristina wasn’t able to lead the way out of the alley where the pub was located because the night parade was passing through the main street in front of the alleyway. While there had already been a lot of people attending the festival, the street in front of them was so full that it wasn’t an exaggeration to say that there was no space left to take a single step.

“It seems that it would be better to head back in,” Kristina said in a resigned tone.

“Really?” Eugene questioned.

Kristina remained silent.

“I want to stay and watch,” Eugene admitted. “Don’t you?”

There probably wasn’t any hidden meaning to his words. However, Kristina couldn’t come up with a light-hearted response to his casual question. This was because the question that had been asked so off-handedly had set off ripples in the depths of her heart.

There was silence for a few moments as Kristina couldn’t think of what to say.

Eugene asked another question without waiting for a response, “Have you ever watched it before?”

That question also shook Kristina’s heart.

She had seen something like this once.

There had also… been a time when she had wanted to watch.

When they were young, almost everyone would have done the same.

There were many orphans in the monastery where Kristina spent her childhood. That meant that there were many children who all needed a lot to eat, which also meant that they needed to keep just as many ingredients in storage. As a result, there were many rats and various other pests in the monastery.

If they were left alone, such harmful pests would increase in number to an extent where nothing more could be done about it, so periodic fumigation was required. Once a month, the monastery’s clergy would gather the children in the playground and cover their mouths and noses with cloths. Then the priests would carry in small stovepipes that would produce thick smoke and disinfect the entire facility.

They would be told to stay where they were, but the children wouldn’t listen to such an order. Where was the fun and excitement in that…?

Although it was hard for her to remember at this point what kind of feelings she had felt at that time, when she was young, before she was adopted, Kristina had also chased the smoke coming from the stovepipes.

That was Kristina's closest memory of participating in a parade. Presently, there were a lot of children in the street in front of them. The children, ignorant of the unpleasant truths behind the Yuras’ religion, were chasing after the parade while giggling in the way that children do.

As for Kristina, she had never really experienced anything like a festival.

Even when she was living in the monastery, she had never been allowed outside. Thinking back on it now, all those restrictions were probably part of the attempt to monitor and control the carefully constructed Saint Candidate, the Imitation Incarnation. For Kristina, the festivals were just days when meat pies or large hunks of meats were served during the shared lunches from time to time, and the closest thing to a parade was chasing the smoke coming from the fumigation stovepipes.

Even after she was adopted by Sergio, her situation hadn’t improved. Instead, it had become even crueler. While the meals were incomparably better than her days in the monastery, no matter how delicious the food she ate was, she just couldn’t feel like those days were anything to celebrate.

In Sergio’s mansion and Tressia Cathedral, there wasn’t anything like the smoke which Kristina and the other children would chase after while laughing.

Kristina’s childhood was crushed and torn apart by despair and hatred before being covered up by a slim pretense of normalcy.

It was only after her childhood had ended that she was finally allowed to go to the festival, but by then, Kristina was no longer a child. She stood at the forefront of the Tressia Festival as a Saint Candidate, but to Krstina, the festival was just a propaganda platform for the Saint Candidate, while the person known as ‘her’ was executed.

“Yes,” Kristina eventually muttered.

“So you don’t want to watch this?” Eugene asked in confirmation.

“...I’m not sure,” Kristina responded weakly.

But this was a lie.

She wasn’t unsure. She truly didn’t want to continue watching. Wouldn’t her memories of the past, where she suffered such despair and hatred while hiding under a thin veil of normalcy, overlap with today’s happy memories if she needlessly watched the festival? While Kristina had already received the salvation she needed, she was afraid that the girl she used to be would be fueled by the despair from her past, which had already passed but could never be forgotten.

“Do you really need to consider the question of whether or not to watch something like a parade so seriously?” Eugene muttered as he scratched at his head in confusion.

Without replying, Kristina just turned to stare at all the people filling the street in front of them. Eugene suddenly reached out and grabbed Kristina’s wrist as she stood there blankly.

Kristina gasped, “Ah—!”

“Kristina Rogeris,” Eugene called out her name.

Eugene didn’t know what Kristina was thinking. However, he did not know that most of her life had been full of misery. She was stuck here, hesitating at a time like this, probably because the painful memories of her childhood had overlapped with the colorful and joyful festival taking place in front of them.

“I’ve already saved you,” Eugene said as he pulled on Kristina’s wrist and slowly strode forward.

Kristina couldn’t think of what to say, nor could she find the will to resist. Not knowing what to do, she just allowed herself to be dragged along by Eugene.

“Since I’ve saved you, I won’t ask you to do something like repay the favor. I was the one who decided to save you on my own, and it was my choice to do so. As such, all you need to do is to make your own decision,” Eugene said as he walked.

“What are you talking about?” Kristina asked in confusion.

“Whether or not you want to keep following me,” Eugene clarified.

Kristina was honestly dumbfounded. Was there even a need to make a choice? Kristina’s intentions were clear. She had no thoughts of remaining in Yuras. Even if Eugene said that he hated her and wanted her to get lost, Kristina would still follow behind Eugene. Was it in order to repay the favor of saving her? No, Krstina was well aware that Eugene would despise such a reason.

It was just….

Kristina wanted to follow him. Eugene was the Hero, and the truth was, he was also the Stupid Hamel from three hundred years ago. But those sorts of things weren’t important to the current Kristina.

Eugene hadn’t saved the Saintess; he had saved Kristina Rogeris.

As such, Kristina just wanted to accompany him, not as the Hero or as Hamel, but simply as Eugene Lionheart.

“I will follow you,” Kristina stated firmly.

“If that’s the case, you can’t be afraid or hesitant when it comes to just watching something like this,” Eugene scolded.

There were a lot of people on this street.

However, wherever Eugene walked, the people would move slightly to open up a path. They weren’t even conscious of why they were moving the way they did, nor of their stuttering steps backward and the way that their bodies secretly trembled. All of this was the unavoidable result of their instinctive behavior.

Having opened up a path, Eugene dragged Kristina behind him.

Eugene continued, “Because from now on, this kind of thing should just be an insignificant part of the scenery to you.”

Kristina stayed silent.

“Aren’t you here now?” Eugene reminded her. “I don’t know what you were thinking of, what you were focussed on, or what you might have remembered. I don’t even want to know, and I won’t even bother asking.”

Eugene's steps suddenly came to a halt.

He let go of Kristina’s hand and pointed to what lay in front of them. It was sparkling, colorful, fun, and noisy. The festival parade Kristina had imagined as a child was marching past right in front of her.

Eugene instructed her, “So no matter what, just keep looking.”

Kristina stood there dumbfounded as she stared straight ahead of her. She hadn’t spent all her time imagining watching this parade. Once she became a Saint Candidate, there were many times when she saw the parade in person. She had even stood at the head of the parade herself on many occasions. However, her feelings now were completely different from what she had felt at those times.

The agony, hatred, and rage that she had felt in the past, the sense of ridicule she felt for those who praised and admired her as the Saint Candidate without knowing anything about her, and the sense of shame that she had felt for herself and the unnatural nature of the Saint Candidate — she wasn’t feeling any of those complex feelings at this moment.

Just like Eugene had said, the memories and emotions of back then, as well as the scenery in front of her, all looked insignificant. Kristina felt a huge divide between how she was feeling now and the view she was looking at. There was upbeat music, colorful costumes and decorations, the laughter of children, and the admiration of the spectators. All of it felt a little far away from her, but at the same time, Eugene, who was right in front of her, felt a little too close.

“See, it’s really nothing,” Eugene said with life as he turned his head to look at her.

Even though she should have already shaken off the remaining intoxication… Kristina’s face felt strangely hot.

Kristina’s lips moved soundlessly for a moment before she stopped and ducked her head. She stepped back as if to run away, but Eugene wouldn’t allow Kristina to run from him.

“Isn’t that so?” Eugene pressed her.

Kristina stammered, “I-It’s different. This is… really something different. I just….”

At this moment, Kristina couldn’t help but feel like she was facing a huge dilemma. Her heart wanted to turn around and run away. It wasn’t because the trivial sights in front of her had made her feel emotions that she didn’t want to recall, but in fact, it was simply because she felt too embarrassed to keep looking at Eugene’s high-spirited face.

However, Kristina absolutely, definitely, couldn’t confide such a feeling to Eugene. She would much rather leave everything to Anise and hide by switching their consciousness, but her mischievous Sister had no intention of giving her even a word of advice even though she was listening to everything that they were saying right now.

What if she really did run away? Unless Kristina explained things properly, then Eugene would definitely come to a misunderstanding. Kristina would rather die than allow Eugene to have such a misunderstanding of her. If she ran away after he had dragged her all the way here and said such things to her, wouldn’t Eugene feel like everything he had done had been in vain? Kristina was afraid that, in such a case, Eugene would feel disappointed in himself.

‘...Although there’s no reason for him to feel that way, but…,’ Kristina was stuck in turmoil.

“What’s with you?” Eugene asked.

It was time for her to reach a decision on her dilemma. Kristina took a deep breath, then undoing her step backward, she took a step forward.

“L-let’s follow it,” Kristina nervously proposed.

Eugene was taken aback, “What?”

“That’s… w-wouldn’t it be fun to follow the parade?” Kristina quickly stammered out before pushing herself into the procession following the parade.

After staring at Kristina for a few moments, Eugene smirked and began walking beside her.

Why can’t this night be as dark as it should be?

That was Kristina’s sincere desire. Merciful Light, please don’t illuminate this night. That was what she prayed for, but it was hopeless. Nighttime in the Capital City, Yurasia, was always illuminated by soft lights, and at this moment, in particular, their surroundings were overly brightened by the shining parade.

Kristina felt like these bright lights were clearly illuminating her face, so she couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. She didn’t want to show such a heavy blush to Eugene. At the same time, she also didn’t want the crowd to notice that her face so closely resembled Anise.

Right now… there were too many people surrounding them. Was it because of the mood? It felt as if their eyes were getting drawn to her face.

‘Ah,’ Kristina belatedly realized something.

She was currently wearing a robe with her hood pulled down behind her. Kristina quickly pulled the hood up deep over her head, covering her face.

“What are you doing?” Eugene asked from beside her.

“I’m afraid that someone might recognize me,” Kristina admitted.

Eugene sighed, “You’re doing that again.”

“Please understand my concerns,” Kristina pleaded. “There were already a lot of people in the plaza earlier, but unlike then, we are actually taking part in a procession now. If anyone finds out I’m here, it might end up ruining the parade.”

Eugene glanced at Kristina through narrowed eyes. He still wasn’t really satisfied with her excuse, but unlike before, he didn’t forcefully remove Kristina’s hood.

They continued walking together like this for quite some time.

Even with all the cheerful music, Kristina could clearly hear the beating of her own heart. Even though she continued walking along with the procession while pretending nothing was wrong, her face was still steaming.

‘...Holy Light, please….’

Even with her hood pulled down low, their surroundings were so bright it felt like a spotlight was shining on her face. So Kristina tried praying once more.

Had her earnest prayer managed to reach its target?

All of the lights that had been brightening up the parade went out at the same moment. The same went for all the lights that had been illuminating the street. The parade came to a stop with the sudden arrival of the darkness. The procession that had been following the parade looked around their darkened surroundings and murmured to themselves.

Boooom!

The darkness was lifted. Fireworks shot up from a tall clock tower nearby and lit up the sky. These fireworks were launched to mark the end of the festival. The muttering of the crowd turned into cheers. Everyone lifted their heads to watch as flowers bloomed and lights fluttered in the sky.

Only Kristina didn’t. She pulled her hood further down with both hands and kept her head bowed.

“Kristina Rogeris,” Eugene called out her name.

Kristina’s shoulders trembled at his call.

His hands slowly approached her and covered both of Kristina’s hands.

Eugene told her, “Right now, the only one looking at you is me.”

His rough hands, which were covered in calluses, pulled off Kristina’s hood.

Kristina quietly gasped, “...Ah…!”

High up in the sky, the fireworks exploded. Kristina looked up to see Eugene staring down at her and the fireworks shooting up from behind him.

“Because of that, you shouldn’t hide yourself,” Eugene insisted.

Kristina was well aware that these words weren’t addressed to her as the Saintess. Instead, they were addressed to ‘Kristina Rogeris.’

Eugene continued, “If you have decided to follow me, then you need to be looking at the same things as me.”

Without being too conscious of her role as the Saint….

Without hiding herself from the gazes and mutters of her surroundings….

…No.

All of that simply felt insignificant and distant now, just like she had felt before. Everything around her was insignificant and distant, but only Eugene felt close. Was what she currently feeling admiration or worship? Or else…. Kristina tried not to think too deeply about it.

Everything just, it just felt beautiful. Fireworks soared up into the sky, and below them stood Eugene. Eugene, who had stretched out his hand to her while she was trapped in her fate as the Saint, which was more like a curse. It was Eugene Lionheart, not the Hero, who had saved not the Saint but Kristina Rogeris.

It felt like there was a miracle so close to her that all she needed to do was to stretch out one hand to touch it.

It was so beautiful and lovely that her eyes were dazzled by it.

“...Yes,” Kristina swallowed a trembling breath as she closed her eyes.

Her eyes were so dazzled that it felt like she would go blind if she kept looking. For Kristina, all of this was a miracle.

As such, Kristina burst into laughter. Without opening her closed eyes, without putting off any sort of pretense to mask her true feelings, she just focussed on this miracle that was so close, so bright, and so beautiful.

“Yes, Sir Eugene,” Kristina repeated with a smile.