Damn Reincarnation
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chapter-451
He had heard of how Sienna had lived out her life after the war ended and the pact was made.
Sienna lived a life that many found hard to believe. It seemed inconceivable that the same Sienna from his memories lived a lonely and ascetic life before eventually secluding herself.
But it made more sense once he realized that her choice was influenced by Hamel’s death. It was something Sienna would do.
The specter thought about his current form.
He bore Hamel's appearance. And although he wasn’t perfectly Hamel, he was close enough. He carried Hamel's memories. And although the memories were incomplete, he felt his personality and sense of self were quite similar to Hamel's.Then, couldn't he just fill in what was missing?
'If Hamel hadn't been reincarnated...' the specter thought bitterly.
The premise itself was flawed. Sienna's return to the world from her seclusion in the Samar Rainforest was only because Eugene Lionheart had found and drawn her out.
There must have been compelling reasons why she had chosen to seclude herself for nearly two hundred years. If Eugene... if Hamel hadn't been reincarnated, Sienna would not be here.
It was because of Hamel's reincarnation that Sienna was now here.
Sienna seemed in high spirits. She hummed a tune and walked with a bounce like a rubber ball.
Was it because her perception-inhibiting magic freed her from the concerns of surrounding gazes? The specter followed her as she skipped like a child while smiling bitterly.Memories that weren't his own surfaced unbidden, and whenever they overlapped with reality, he felt an unpleasant dissonance and self-loathing.
Why had he come here? Did he want to confront Sienna like he did with Molon? Did he want to hear her words of rage and murderous condemnation?
You’re not Hamel. You’re a fake.
Aside from hearing such things, did he want someone to understand who he truly was?
—I, Molon Ruhr, acknowledge you as a warrior.
They were his comrades from Hamel's memories.
…Did he want to be understood by them? And perhaps someday, maybe he wouldn’t be Hamel or a fake, but just him. Perhaps he would be seen as himself even to Hamel and Eugene.
"Haaa." The specter sighed deeply. He forcibly ignored the questions crowding his mind.
The answers were simple, but he didn't want to face them.
Sienna left the square while continuing to hum. The specter silently followed, neither obstructing her path nor attempting to speak to her. He knew why.
In the end, it was because he was afraid.
After leaving the square, Sienna shifted from walking to flying. Flying was strictly limited for wizards in Aroth, but an exception was made for Sienna for all laws concerning magic in the nation.
Considering her significant contribution to the nation's magical prowess, Sienna believed it was her right. Her very presence had contributed significantly to Aroth’s title as the Magic Kingdom.
'I must be at least seventy percent responsible,’ Sienna thought while flying through the sky.
In particular, it wasn’t an exaggeration to say that she single-handedly designed Pentagon, the capital of Aroth. She had designed the floating stations, which could be considered a core element of the capital, as well as the magical barrier of the royal castle, Abram. Having poured so much effort into this city, she believed she had the freedom to do as she pleased within it.
She thought so and acted whimsically sometimes, though never without calculating or incurring debts.
Sienna was evading the eyes of others using her perception-inhibiting magic. For her, taking items from stores would be as easy as breathing. But why would she steal? She wasn't short on money or inclined to commit immoral crimes for the thrill.
Yet, there was a simple pleasure in sneaking into a store and bypassing the long queue. She could have just shown her face to skip past the long lines, but sometimes, small delights such as these were a necessity.
‘I don’t have to worry about gazes,' Sienna reasoned with herself.
There were times when she had to be mindful of her appearance and actions. It was something that came with being famous and revered. But at times like these, it was necessary to boldly set aside such concern.
Sienna had entered a high-end fashion store that was a leader in Pentagon's fashion scene. Had she entered normally, everyone in line would have gossiped and approached her. Sienna didn't want that today.
She finally lifted her spell after reaching the VIP salon. It was typically a place set aside for royalty and high nobility, a place located deep inside the store.
The noblewoman wasn’t startled in the slightest by Sienna’s sudden appearance. Today’s meeting had been prearranged. The lady greeted Sienna with a bright smile and a respectful bow.
"It is an honor to serve you," the noblewoman said respectfully as Sienna quickly scanned the surroundings. Noticing Sienna's vigilant gaze, the noblewoman whispered softly, "Only I, the owner, am aware of Lady Sienna's visit here."
"Is that really so?" Sienna inquired.
"Would I dare to deceive you, Lady Sienna?" the noblewoman replied.
“Hmm…. Well, I warned you last time, but my visit today and… the reason for it. Yes? You know what I’m speaking of, right?” said Sienna.
"Yes, Lady Sienna. I assure you, all of it will remain a secret, known only to me, until my death — no, even after that,” assured the noblewoman.
VIP shopping usually involved such secrecy, even if there wasn’t a particular reason for the secrecy. The VIPs usually found joy in such acts and tended to be obsessed with the very notion of secrecy itself.
However, today's VIP, Sienna, was exceptionally remarkable even compared to the others. The Wise Sienna was one of the most respected names on the continent, and she was the greatest wizard in the history of the continent.
Ancilla Lionheart had personally referred her here. Although it was something the owner had already anticipated, Sienna’s name alone was enough to make her feel quite nervous.
Moreover, Sienna's specific request added to the owner's unease.
She wanted dresses to seduce a man — not just any light seduction either, but something so captivating that it would lead to a marriage proposal. And on top of that, she also asked for rings and gifts! Who could imagine that Sienna, known for her wisdom, would make such a direct and desperate request?
‘Guess that’s why she’s emphasizing the secrecy,’ thought the owner as she carefully approached Sienna, who sat on the sofa.
Mannequins wearing the prepared dresses were revealed when the owner pulled back the curtains. The other VIPs usually preferred real models in a secret fashion show, but Sienna had requested no one else be present today. Hence, the dresses were displayed on mannequins. Sienna seemed visibly startled by the mannequins and their dresses.
“...Bold. Quite bold,” she muttered while looking at the first dress.
It was so daring that Sienna couldn’t imagine herself wearing it. It would reveal quite a depth of her cleavage, armpits, and back. It was something that the Queen of Whores might wear.
The owner explained, "As you requested something to allure a man…."
"But... isn't this too much? It’s very different from what I usually wear..." Sienna hesitated.
"It’s about creating a stark contrast to your usual self to evoke emotions," the owner suggested.
"Contrast... a complete contrast, huh?" Sienna muttered.
“I did not limit the choices to just a single style, so please take a look at the next set,” said the owner.
The owner then unveiled the next series of clothes. The following clothes weren’t as provocative or bold as the first. If she had to make a comparison, it was toned down from the Queen of Whores to Melktih. The next set gave an entirely different feeling of purity and innocence.
As Sienna viewed each dress, her feelings fluctuated. Was it because she was getting used to the idea, or was the word ‘contrast’ mentioned by the owner resonating with her?
Strangely enough, she found herself drawn back to the first, most audacious dress. Come to think of it, Sienna had never worn such attire before.
Neither had Anise nor Kristina, being the Saints of their age. Sienna mused that they could not wear such revealing clothes, but then again, they might have worn swimsuits at the waterpark with Eugene today.
‘Have I ever...?’ she wondered.
Of course not! No, she had never worn such attire. She had the chance to wear her swimsuit when she was on the island nation of Shimuin. However, Iris, the damned elf, had completely crushed the opportunity after becoming the Demon King. Sienna was never given the chance to be at the beach.
‘Contrast... a complete contrast,’ she pondered again.
Not only the Saints but even Ciel wouldn’t wear something like this. But the more she thought about it, the more she leaned towards the first dress.
Sienna could guarantee that only the Queen of Whores might wear something like that. Eugene might react by swearing if the Queen of Whores showed up in such an outfit, but he would blush if Sienna appeared in such an outfit….
“.....” Sienna pondered quietly, weighing her options.
But the other dresses also appealed to her. The owner had carefully selected a wide range of outfits, which numbered in the dozens. But each outfit was unique and captivating.
Given that Sienna had dedicated half of her life to battling in the Devildom and the other half to magic, she had little experience with diverse clothing styles. Her usual attire had been limited to robes and cloaks, occasionally altered slightly in consideration of Eugene. However, nothing she wore until now could come even close to the expertly crafted fashion before her.
This made choosing difficult. No, but why was she having such thoughts? Just as she did with magic, Sienna broke through the conventional limitations of thinking and found her answer.
Why did she have to choose just one when all of them appealed to her?
‘It’s not like I don’t have money,’ she justified to herself.
She beamed with satisfaction. She was pleased with her conclusion.
"I'll take them all," declared Sienna.
"All… of them?" the owner asked, taken aback.
"Yes," confirmed Sienna.
"Very well, I'll prepare them,” the owner acknowledged before asking, “Would you like to try any on before—"
"That... that won't be necessary," Sienna quickly interjected. Despite the promise of secrecy, she wasn’t keen on showcasing herself in such attire to the owner. Ideally, and if possible, she wanted Eugene to be the first to see her in such a daring outfit.
"Understood. Then, next… let me show you the rings we've prepared," the owner suggested.
"It’s not just about what I want. It has to be a ring that would make the other person want to give it," Sienna said.
Why would she buy a ring that she hopes to be given? The owner found this concept perplexing but remembered she was dealing with a 'Wise' Archwizard whose intentions might be beyond ordinary understanding. How could she hope to understand the thoughts of a sage?
“Hmm…. If that’s the case, I may need to know a bit about the person you have in mind to assist you better,” said the owner.
“Are you trying to probe me?” Sienna asked in a slightly defensive tone.
“Absolutely not,” the owner reassured.
Eventually, Sienna relented, considering the secret was guaranteed. And sooner or later… everyone would come to know, right?
Hesitatingly, the owner cautiously asked, "Is it Sir Eugene Lionheart?"
Rumor had it that Sienna and Eugene had danced together at a banquet in Shimuin’s royal castle. If the great Archwizard had fallen for a man, it could only be her young, heroic disciple.
But Sienna couldn’t readily admit this. Her nature hadn’t changed in three hundred years.
"What, what, what? What are you talking about? H-he's my disciple,” said Sienna.
"Please, Lady Sienna, calm down and listen to me. I've been serving various clients in this city, the capital of the Kingdom of Magic, for decades. Some of them were noblewomen having secret affairs with young knights or... well, magical mentors and their apprentices."
The mention of mentors and apprentices made Sienna’s eyes waver.
"It might have been a problem centuries ago, but in today’s world, a relationship between a mentor and an apprentice isn’t a big issue, especially for someone as young and beautiful as you..." continued the owner.
"Ahem…." Sienna cleared her throat, feeling a bit conscious.
"And Sir Eugene Lionheart is a man any woman would fall for. Heir of the Great Vermouth, bearer of the Lionheart name, the Hero who defeated the Demon King, exceptionally handsome, and immensely talented. A disciple any mentor would dote on, and a man any woman would love," the owner praised without restraint.
As the owner pressed on, Sienna’s cheeks flushed red, and she began to fidget nervously. She tugged at her hair and clothes and scratched the sofa.
"It's a… s-secret," she whispered while turning her head slightly.
Her demeanor was unexpectedly youthful for an Archwizard who had lived for three centuries. Moved by her genuine expression, the owner smiled sincerely.
"I will do my best to recommend the perfect ring for you," the owner assured.
True to her word, the owner presented a variety of rings and even briefly left the salon to bring additional choices, including personal items she had never intended to sell. Although she was flushed, shy, and contemplative, Sienna looked genuinely happy as she hesitantly touched the dresses and considered trying them on before shaking her head dismissively, trying on various rings, and smiling blissfully.
She looked happy.
She looked genuinely happy.
The specter stood silently while observing Sienna’s laughter for a long time. Honestly, he had thought it wouldn’t affect him. After all, he knew about Sienna and Hamel’s feelings.
‘So, that’s how it is,’ he mused, feeling a tumultuous stirring in his heart. There was a flicker of flame igniting deep within his heart. His head spun, and his fingers trembled. Was this betrayal? Or sorrow?
The world he saw upon leaving Ravesta was peaceful.
Molon seemed unable to move freely.
Molon had acknowledged him as a warrior.
Sienna appeared happy as she envisioned a future with Eugene.
The specter wanted to be called Hamel by Sienna and Molon. He desired to seize everything the reincarnated Hamel had. He still yearned to be Hamel.
Turning his back, the specter stood alone in the midst of the sky while caressing his face.
Even these desires were his own. The conclusion he had reached now was also his own.
There was no need to distinguish them. Even though he possessed Hamel’s memories and a persona mimicking Hamel, he was, in the end, himself.
“That’s right,” he whispered, his finger grazing his cheek. He was resolute and prepared.
What he would do from now on, and in the future, he was convinced it was for himself. It would add value to his existence.
***
He had seriously considered ripping his face off. But that would likely lead to more inconvenience.
Or should he change his face? That idea didn’t appeal to him much. More precisely, he was unsure how to go about it.
‘In the first place, is the face really that important?’ the specter asked himself.
It mattered if he showed it around.
But continuing with Hamel’s face seemed like it would be tarnishing Hamel’s name.
If he kept showing this face to the world, it would go from “Stupid Hamel” to “Bastard Hamel”... no, it wouldn’t end there. He might even become the most notoriously evil figure in the world.
He didn’t want that. So, the specter decided to wear a mask. A plain white one, with only holes for the eyes and no designs.
‘You wouldn’t want Hamel’s name to be sullied more than it already is.’ the specter talked to Hamel’s comrades in his mind.
He felt the same. The specter smiled wryly while looking ahead.
They cared about bad reputation and were considerate about it.
“It’s something you’d hate, but I have no choice,” he chuckled to himself while steadying his wavering heart.
“This is right for me,” he reassured once more.
It was something the specter didn’t want to do, something he disliked.
But he had no intention of backing down.
He gazed at the Black Lion Castle in the distance.