Debut or Die
chapter-147

“Hyung, I am really sorry. In order to hastily and arbitrarily judge the situation, I carelessly shared the personal experience hyung shared with me…”

“It’s fine.”

If I had to listen to it one more time, it would be the fifth time.

I was a little fed up receiving Kim Raebin’s apology.

All this guy did was tell the members, ‘Moondae hyung said he remembered the past in his sleep’.

It was most likely that he did it because he was scared or nervous.

Based on that, my sad plight must have been something he was trying to interpret and respond to.

‘…I thought I hid it well.’

It was an illusion.

When I came to Korea and checked the filming of the summer package, my atmosphere was so awkward and gloomy.

Even the camera occasionally caught these guys being worried or nervous.

The reason why the filming went smoothly was entirely thanks to Keun Sejin, who talked twice as much by himself.

‘…Ryu Chungwoo was holding back.’

It was clear from the beginning of the shoot that he realized how uncomfortable I was with him.

Putting up with the silence, I said to Kim Raebin.

“Then I should apologize. I’m sorry for the bad atmosphere.”

“Yes? You absolutely don’t have to! In the first place, there is no need to apologize for the unexpected event that occurred in a situation where the filming was in progress…”

“Alright. In the same sense, you don’t have to apologize either.”

“…! I understand. Thank you!”

After convincing me that ‘there is no need to apologize’, Kim Raebin finally stopped talking and left after saying goodbye.

“I’ll go in. I hope you have a good time.”

“Yes, you too.”

Immediately the room became quiet. One roommate was absent due to a schedule and the other was due to his quiet hobby.

‘The world is quiet.’

I sighed and buried myself in bed.

But another noise came from the next bed.

‘…It’s been less than three seconds since I said it was quiet.’

It was Bae Sejin.

“…Hey, are you okay?”

“Yes? Yes.”

It was an obvious answer, but in reality, my condition was quite stable.

I didn’t know if it was because I drank and settled it down a little at the last minute, or if it was because I left a strange country where all kinds of things happened and returned to my room in a familiar dorm.

Either way, It didn’t feel as unbearable as I had felt before.

Just remembering it made me break out in a cold sweat. So I was happy to add an explanation.

“There will be no interruptions to the filming now. Don’t worry.”

“I-I didn’t worry about that!!”

Bae Sejin shouted and then, in surprise, grabbed the book he was reading.

“…!”

What do you want me to do?

Anyway, after checking the filming of the summer package, I checked the actual package today. This was the day the summer package was released on the market.

‘Just in case.’

I picked up my smartphone and finally started monitoring it all the way.

“…Hmm.”

I did this just in case, but fortunately, there was no problem.

After going through the magic of editing, my attitude changed to a moderately passive degree.

The response wasn’t bad either.

– It hurts more because I can see that he’s trying not to show that he wasn’t feeling wellㅠㅠ

– Park Moondae’s eyes are all frozen. His motivation and original resolution are all smashed

└Yeah no, assh*le. He looks sick. What nonsense are you saying

└I have no words, you can’t say anything to a kid who couldn’t show up because he was sick

– The kids take care of Moondae, and it warms my heart. Testar will last forever.

– Summer package of a quiet puppy (Moondae GIF)

‘As expected, it was right to reduce my reaction rather than react sharply.’

It seemed to be the right choice to reduce the response and expression of my emotions to other members and the situations as much as possible.

Of course, although there were occasional aggros such as ‘Where is Park Moondae’s initial commitment’, they didn’t receive favorable responses and disappeared after being beaten down.

It was thanks to public opinion thinking that I was really sick because it was short-lived and I even missed a W live before the filming.

…It pricked my conscience.

‘I wasn’t particularly sick.’

I’d already used the excuse of being sick once, so I would have to take care of myself properly for the next half year or so.

If I got sick again, it wouldn’t be a simple matter from then on, and useless noises could come out.

I could skip these summer packages because only fans tend to buy them, but we didn’t know how it would be in the future.

‘I’ll have to be careful.’

I shrugged and turned off my phone.

Looking at the neat situation on the internet, I thought it was good that I overdid it at the time.

… And, I kept my promise.

Beep beep.

[Consultation time]

When I turned off the alarm that was ringing on my smartphone, Bae Sejin stealthily started talking to me again.

“…Counseling?”

“Yes.”

“Well thought out.”

“Yes.”

At the time Seon Ahyeon went to get counseling, I decided to get counseling too.

Thanks to this, I went out today with Seon Ahyeon, who had returned from his schedule.

“M-Moondae. Let’s contact each other when getting out…!”

“Yeah… All right.”

But to be honest, it didn’t do much good.

“So, what’s your biggest concern recently?”

“…The same as everyone else.”

“Okay~ Any examples?”

“Hmm, I also have concerns about whether I can do my job properly.”

Because it was impossible to tell the counselor ‘If I can’t resolve the status abnormality, I will die, but this bastard even shows strange visions, causing PTSD symptoms to pop out like seizures’.

It would be seen as a way to show off.

“Mr. Moondae. You’re doing well enough right now. Have you ever thought it would be okay to be more generous to yourself?”

“…I do, just a little.”

Well, still… Confiding with an expert gave me a sense of security.

My nerves that were on the edge were lessened, and my inner composure was strengthened.

On top of that, since we weren’t on an activity period in Korea, my schedule wasn’t too excessive, so I finally thought of trying ‘that’ again.

In the bathroom of the dorm after returning from the consultation.

I caught my breath.

“…Status window.”

Goosebumps ran down my spine, but not enough to knock me off.

Like this, I checked the status window for the first time in a while.

…to properly check the new status abnormality.

[Get the audiences or die]

: If you fail to meet more than 200,000 spectators within the time limit, you will die

The number of people reached: 2,219 / 200,000

Remaining period: D-339

‘Are you crazy?’

Again, this number had no conscience.

‘This is a number that requires me to go on an overseas tour.’

Thanks to the event, I got about 2000 people, but this also had a limit. It’s not like there were events all year round.

According to the plan, it seemed we would start a tour starting with a concert in Korea around autumn, so the timing wasn’t an issue… It was now a matter of the scale.

It wasn’t bad enough that I should give up early, and if I combined the events with other things, it was worth a try.

‘In the end, I have no choice but to release a good album.’

It was back to the original matter.

…Still, thinking that this would be the last time, I felt a little calm.

‘It’s not Grand Prize.’

I tried to return the status window with slightly trembling hands, but I suddenly realized that I didn’t need to use my hands.

This meant my head wasn’t working properly.

‘…It’s not normal.’

The status window disappeared. I resisted the urge to submerge my head into the sink again.

And I thought.

‘…What the hell do you want?’

I didn’t know why the status window was like this.

As the first reward, Park Moondae… This was a bit different from when the circumstances of the real Park Moondae surfaced or the second time when the circumstances of Cheongryeo were told in detail.

I thought they were hints of how this regression thing was currently going.

But what I saw in America… F*ck, anyway, that …It’s not like that right?

No explanation, no help… Isn’t that right?

“…Huft.”

Let’s stop.

I took a deep breath and sort out my mind.

The answer wouldn’t come out even if I thought hard about it anyway. I’d just do what I could.

It was the best course of action.

‘First of all, the biggest schedule I currently have.’

It was a solo schedule. I remembered it since the time I got wasted and emptied Ryu Chungwoo’s wallet.

‘It’s not bad to have some time to work alone.’

…In fact, I had never talked openly with Ryu Chungwoo since I came to Korea.

It wasn’t too difficult to say hello, chat casually, and act the script in front of the camera, but to do more than that… I had a track record so trying that would be a bit reckless.

‘I should do this to keep my distance.’

I happily accepted the solo schedule.

– Moondae, is this okay? Isn’t it too fast?

– It’s fine.

And actually, I looked forward to it.

Because the stats I charged last time were for this kind of variety show.

‘I ended up doing it later than I thought.’

It was a perfect situation for a change of mood.

I kicked the useless scraps out of my head and laughed, thinking only of the pure facts.

This was a singing variety show.

And my current vocal stat was…

It was S-.

* * *

<The Singer I Made>.

It was an entertainment show that had been popular on MBS recently.

The format of this program, in which celebrities hid their identities and showed up to sing and were selected as a winner through a survival contest, was probably a bit boring.

Right now, MBS also had an entertainment show that became popular using that format.

However, this <Singer I Made> had a unique difference. That difference was… the cast didn’t appear in person.

Right. They appeared on stage as holograms.

It wasn’t you, it was the ‘character’ you had set up.

The cast created a mascot singer character by creating a profile from appearance to personality, taste, and age.

Then, a hologram machine supported by a large company embodied the character on the stage.

Viewers were amazed at the taste of cutting-edge technology that even implemented the motions of the cast members connected under the stage, and thanks to the familiar format, they fell in love without feeling any sense of dissonance.

So, even a high school student here, who was flipping through the channels, stopped clicking on the remote control after seeing the familiar stage screen of this variety show.

“Oh~ Fake Singer~”

Snickering while calling out its rude nickname, the male high school student stared at the screen without much thought.

His older sister had gone into her room to see those Testar stuff.

Maybe for a while, he could lie down comfortably in front of the TV without worrying about being robbed.

Coincidentally, the program had just started the second part after the commercial break.

[Survival stage where imagination becomes reality!]

[<Singer I Made>! The ‘singer’ who will be on the fifth stage is now! Ready!]

[Wooow!]

From baseball players to triangular gimbap, scenes where unpredictable characters of all kinds suddenly appeared were always quite fun.

‘Now, it’s time for the dinosaur to come out one more time~ Don’t be boring!‘

The high school student grinned as he recalled the last winner, a red-eyed, short-legged dinosaur called ‘Tyrannosaurus’.

The MC shouted spiritedly.

[Here comes the new singer!]

[His name is…]

Dadumdadum, along with drum rolls, the spotlights giddied up and down across the stage.

Then, a tall figure began to form and appear on the stage.

A white veil covered his nice body in a white wedding suit.

After that, the hologram of flying white butterflies wrapped around the figure and disappeared.

‘Ah, it’s a human again~’

Just as the high school student was about to boo, he could see beyond the close-up veil.

Where the face was supposed to be, instead, there were colorful flowers placed like a bouquet.

“Heol.”

[Welcome, ‘Groom in May’~]

Cheers and applause that sounded artificially inserted echoed from the screen.