[Day 265]
It hasn't even been a year since I was born and so many god damn things have happened… Ugh, I feel so exhausted after yesterday's feast. We got completely wasted and I ended dancing and singing along with all the other lizardmen. I think Kraxka and Larzak are my new drinking buddies. It is incredible how different they can become when drunk. Larzak is overly serious and gloomy even, but when drunk he can't stop laughing and pointing at everything as if it was funny. And then there is Kraxka who is overly respectful but when he gets drunk he lets loose of everything and simply laughs along everybody and all… overall, these two guys are good pals.
Although I spent a nice night yesterday and everything… I still couldn't shake off my sorrow respecting the System and what happened to her… But I know I cannot just sit here and cry all day either. And even more when… an apparent child between the two of us, made from pieces of our souls exists. The little orb-like spirit had entered my soul to rest through the day, so I wasn't able to show her to everybody else properly. But this morning, she showed up right over my chest, and had grown a bit bigger now as well. I was worried that she might become bigger and bigger… will she become as big as a watermelon?
Could she take a human form? Perhaps? Maybe if I teach her. Spirits seem to be able to shapeshift around such as Miranda or Belle, she would simply need to learn the ways of shapeshifting to be able to do so… I hope she can shapeshift into a baby thought, or it would be weird to have her as a grown-up body when she's mentally a baby still learning how everything exists. Nonetheless… I need to do something now. I cannot simply present her as a random spirit. If possible, I would want Benladann to help me raise her. It seems he has different necessities and might possibly not even need diapers unlike Benladra, so she might be easier to raise. But still… keeping secrets from Benladann is not something I want.
I know I had thought about not telling her about the whole System ordeal because she would get jealous but… The System's memories about all the time we spent together are gone now, perhaps she wouldn't get so angered? Well, I trust her, so I want to tell her everything.I slowly woke up Benladann, as she seemed rather sleepy. I decided to quickly speak about this to her. She seemed confused at first as I helped her wash her face with some water from the sink (which produces water through the usage of a Water Spirit Stone). And then, I explained her about the Unique Skill [System], about the voice of the System that accompanied me since the beginning of my journey even before meeting Benladann, about how she slowly developed feelings and emotions, and how she was always at my side, accompanying me through my life and my journey, through the many challenges there were present in life… and all of that.
I told her about how the System helped me in all times, it was the source of my power, and even now, it was still there. I told her more about the [God] Unique Skill and how it interacted with the System… and its awakening, which led to the System malfunctioning because it became incapable of sustaining my power. How she was slowly fading away… and how I lost the first ever companion, family, and perhaps… love I had in this life. When I explained things to her, Benladann's face expression quickly changed from confused to surprised, and when I ended telling her how it all went… She seemed very saddened. I never thought she would be so empathic about it… I guess I have yet to know her completely. I had underestimated her, she really felt how I felt and didn't judged me for having kissed her or having been loved by her.
"I see…" She sighed. "A-Are you alright?" She asked. Without properly being able to contain my feelings anymore, tears quickly began to flow through my eyes, but I contained myself from weeping, smiling faintly and resisting the tears.
"Come here…"
Benladann hugged me tightly with her arms, she was so warm and comfortable. I felt slightly happy, I felt… comforted, she caressed my head and kissed my neck, rubbing her nose over my shoulders.
"It must have been hard… You should had told me earlier…"
"I thought you would get jealous of her…""No, I am not that kind of person… And seeing how she was there even before me… I have no rights to be jealous to be honest."
"Benladann…"
"So now she's… gone?"
"She was reset… the System awakened into a Divine System, and her memories and all previous data is gone… She's alive, she's still there… but now, she's back to zero, if not even worse as she has become even more robotic and emotionless than even before resetting… I feel so hollow after what happened to her… But you, Benladra, and everybody else has been slowly filling this hollowness in my heart."
"Drake…" Benladann sighed, smiling faintly, and giving me a kiss in the cheek.
"But there's something more I have to tell you… Before she was fully reset, a piece of my own soul was cut apart, and it merged with the last essence she left behind… And within that fusion, our child was born. She told me to take care of her…" I said, as I showed Benladann my little daughter, a small, apple-sized orb of spiritual light.
"T-This is… Y-Your daughter with her?" Wondered Benladann in surprise. She opened her eyes wide.
"Yeah… I… I cannot possibly let her alone now… She's my responsibility. She's a baby, she doesn't even know how to speak or anything… I… I know this might be too much but… could you help me raise her as if she were your daughter as well?" I asked.
I honestly felt rather nervous when I asked her. But Benladann answered very quickly, and without even faltering nor doubting her own words.
"O-Of course… Why wouldn't I?" Sighed Benladann. "Let's raise her together… She will be Benladra's little sister…"
"Benladann… Thank you."
I was very lucky to have her in my life.
