Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting, While I Started a Farm
chapter-180

Chapter 180: You’re Already Here, Why Leave?

“Finally, it’s all planted!”

Outside the farmyard wall of Jiang He’s house, Jiang He dusted his hands, picked up his shovel and returned inside his mansion leisurely.

A hundred potato mines were all buried as a simple minefield formation across every direction—aside from the front gates.

It was both a challenge for his hands and his mind.

Jiang He did not dare to let the Bottle Gourd Brothers, Dumbo, and Trumbo help. After all, he really was not comfortable—if they ran everywhere after burying the potato mines, things would go south once they triggered one.

Picking up an iron shovel and returning to the farm and shooting at a glance at the seven Bottle Gourd Brothers, Dumbo and Trumbo whom he had punished by having them stand silently at a corner, Jiang He barked as his pent-up irritation burst out, “I was out for just two hours and you almost destroyed the house!”

Leaves from the willow tree and the Cloudscraper Vines were everywhere on the farm. Even the graves near the wall were almost dug out!

When both willow tree and the Cloudscraper Vines heard Jiang He’s scolding, they retracted their branches and tendrils, cowering.

Meanwhile, the seven Bottle Gourd Brothers all broke into tears at Jiang He’s ‘fierceness’, with Eldest Brother choking, “Gramps, don’t be angry… Beat me if you must, it’s my fault for not looking after my brothers.”

“…”

Nearby, Dumbo was gaping and looking bewildered.

What the hell.

How was that little thing such an actor?

He was the loudest before, yelling ‘Get him, brothers’, ‘Cut him down, brothers’ and whatnot. Now that he started crying and confessed his crimes, it was as if it was all his brothers’ fault.

Even Jiang He was speechless.

Whatever.

He did not nitpick with the brats.

After all, the brats had all been spanked—their arms and buttocks had been whipped a swollen red by the willow tree’s branches and Cloudscraper Vines’ tendrils.

Then, looking up and turning towards the willow tree, Jiang He appeared rather surprised. “You can use your branches as whips now? It seems that you had truly gained sentience… the Seven Bottle Gourd Brothers are all rank-seven and you still managed to whip them to such state, so it looks like you’re not weaker than rank-seven.”

Seemingly able to understand Jiang He’s praise, it extended two branches and rubbed them intimately on Jiang He’s face, before quickly withdrawing.

Then, Jiang He arrived before the Cloudscraper Vine, and became even more shocked after observing it with his spirit.

How long had it only been?

And yet, the Cloudscraper Vine was now almost three times its previous size, each of its tendrils appearing thicker and stronger. Most importantly, the tendrils were growing longer as the Cloudscraper Vine’s ability improved, and each of its tendrils was now over fifty meters long.

Moreover, it could attack within the area it could reach.

Even so…

“That’s not enough.”

“Fifty-meters is too small a range of attack. Now that my farm is three Mu, no thief would walk away alive with the Cloudscraper Vine covering the whole farm.”

A thought occurred to Jiang He then.

The Cloudscraper Vine was evolving very rapidly.

It was only fed meat in the afternoon, but it had already bloated so incredibly by the afternoon.

After musing to himself for a moment, Jiang He waved his hand and promptly took out the complete rank-nine Feral corpse inside his System Backpack and threw it to the Cloudscraper Vine.

It was the thirty-meters long Feral that Jiang He killed on Chongming Island. Even though it had been dead for days, a fearsome aura still palpated from its body.

Now, the Cloudscraper Vine slowly reached out, covering the Feral’s corpse with its tendrils.

The corpse visibly shrank at that, and was reduced to a pile of bones in just half an hour. At the same time, the tendrils extended over a dozen meters.

Jiang He continued the feeding by throwing the Cloudscraper Vine a rank-eight Feral corpse, but the plant did not move this time.

Clearly, it was full.

Putting away the corpse, Jiang He was all smiles. “The Cloudscraper Vine is quite impressive. If it evolved as it does currently, it won’t be long before it would cover the whole farm. Even a peak rank-nine elite would have a hard time surviving when they got coiled.”

And when it comes to Feral corpses, Jiang He had all that he needed, just as he could hunt for Ferals in the wildlands anytime he wanted when his stock was used up.

He then checked the time.

It was already past six—time for dinner.

Dropping the idea to continue farming, he glanced at the sobbing Seven Bottle Gourd Brothers and said indignantly, “Alright, shut up, all of you. Aren’t your tears dried up yet after crying for so long?”

Redeeming another seven nitrogen fertilizers, Jiang He threw it at them.

All seven brothers started beaming immediately.

They really took the nitrogen fertilizers for sweets.

***

At the same time.

The Flowing Cloud Holy Child received another short message back at the courtyard of the abandoned coated steel factory.

The Sentinel of the Right asked beside him, “What does it look like, Flowing Cloud?”

The Flowing Cloud Holy Child ran his fingers through his hair.

There were many Holy Children in their Holy Faith, each holding their own factions. It was only too often that they would try to draw Heavenly Generals and Grands to their cause, and those six Heavenly Generals sent to spy on Jiang He was his faction.

That was why he held strong faith towards those Heavenly Generals.

Even so…

Their report on the current situation… surprised the Holy Child.

Still, upon the Sentinel of the Right’s questioning, the Flowing Cloud Holy Child could only answer truthfully, “Jiang He had returned inside his mansion after planting his potatoes. He has a small orchard that has been walled, and the inside could not be seen. The Heavenly Generals did not approach recklessly just in case, although they could hear scolding, children crying, and a dog barking.”

Pausing, the Flowing Cloud Holy Child then added, “According to the Heavenly Generals, Jiang He might be beating the children and the dog.”

“…”

The Sentinel of the Right was speechless.

He could understand beating children. But why beat the dog?

No.

What did that have to do with him at all?

Looking up at the skies, he saw that night was coming. It might be just a little past seven, but darkness always came early during autumn.

Whipping out his phone for a look, the Sentinel of the Right then somberly said, “Let’s take a break, and we’ll move at eight-o’clock sharp. Remember… do not hold back. The brat Jiang He is too abnormal, and we must prevent him from getting away.”

Despite his own words, the Sentinel of the Right had already sentenced Jiang He to death inwardly.

How powerful could a rank-seven elite be anyway?

The Sentinel of the Right was himself an elite who gained perfect grasp over the Boundary of Wills and was just a step away from divine-tier, and even the Senior Elder paled slightly compared to himself. Moreover, he had the Fourth Elder—an Awakened with a power equal to a top rank-nine elite, as well as the Flowing Cloud Holy Child, six Grands, and six Heavenly generals…”

This assembly would destroy any individual beneath divine-tier, unless… Jiang He had power that could match individuals of divine-tier.

And was that even possible?

The Sentinel of the Right himself was amused by his own thought, and could not help shaking his head and sighing. “Though there was no telling how he did it, turning the tables against Sixth elder who started grasping blade will was already a great violation of common-sense. But a rank-seven wielding the ability of divine-tier? Not even the Holy Ones would have such a prodigy, would they?”

The Holy Ones!

The Sentinel of the Right looked up at the skies above then, a zealous gaze showing in his eyes.

The Sky Demon Cult address themselves as the Sky Sage Faith, and the extraterrestrial Sky Demons were the Holy Ones to them.

Clearly, the Sentinel of the Right knew a lot, being one of the hierarchs of their faith.

Looking up at the skies, he muttered to himself, “Now, the opening of the Stargate is upon us. Once it does, the Holy Envoy shall descend upon us, and the day of our reign and prospering would be at hand!”

His mind stirred, he whipped out his phone and barked after a glance, “It’s time. Let’s move!”

Whoosh!

Jinyintan Village was now pitch-black, and only the three-floored small mansion on Jiang He’s yard was brightly lit. The Sky Demon Cultists had withdrawn their aura and quietly paused at the courtyard of a house four hundred meters away from Jiang He’s house to rendezvous with the six Heavenly Generals.

“Remember, no mercy!”

“Kill anyone within reach!”

“Senior Elder, lead some of our group and storm the front gates.”

“Fourth Elder, you will strike with the Flowing Cloud Holy Child from this direction, while I circle round to the back…”

The Sentinel of the Right swiftly made all arrangements, and the figures went their separate ways, vanishing into the night.

***

Inside the mansion.

After finishing dinner, Jiang He was sitting on the sofa in boredom and swiping his phone.

Around him, the Seven Bottle Gourd Brothers were focusing on the Peppa Pig program that was showing on the tv.

“Master!”

Sora spoke alluringly as she walked down from the stars.

Rising to his feet, Jiang He gave Eldest Brother a nudge on the head and instructed, “It’s now past eight. Return inside the bottle gourds and sleep, latest by half-past-nine. Got it?”

Still, he felt rather weirded out.

The Seven Bottle Gourd Brothers watching a cartoon?

Wonder what they would think if he showed them ‘Bottle Gourd Brothers versus the snake monster’?

But just as he was about to go upstairs, dog barks could be heard from outside the mansion.

“Bow-wow-wow!!!”

Dumbo barked a few times, before yelling out loud, “Master, this is bad! Someone’s coming… burglars are coming!”

Even as it yelled, it had already rushed inside the storehouse at top speed, and picked up the two boxes of Gatling Gun bullets.

Since the Gatling Gun was still kept outside, and Trumbo sprinted away, rapidly enlarging as it ran into a ‘muscle cat’, and proficiently loading the bullets.

At the same time, three figures abruptly appeared in the night.

The old woman holding a crutch was leading Sword Star and Speed Star as they advanced within the darkness, their bodies overflowing with killing intent… Even so, they were shocked by the sight they saw.

A dog and a cat…

Fiddling around with a gatling gun???

Brrrrrt!!!

Orange-red flames promptly streaked through the night air.

***

Meanwhile.

The mage-robed Fourth Elder, the Flowing Cloud Holy Child, Dark Star, and six Heavenly Generals were slowly advancing towards the walls around Jiang He’s house…

One of the Heavenly Generals went ahead light-footedly, laughing. “Holy Child, that brat planted the potatoes here… don’t you think he’s an idiot? Planting potatoes where weeds grow… Eh?”

Bang!

Even before he finished, one of the potatoes beneath his feet abruptly blew up, with the dozens of potato mines nearby following suit right after.

Boooom!

Violent flames shot up into the sky, illuminating the night.

The horrific shockwave instantly tore the Heavenly General into pieces, and behind him, the other Heavenly Generals were caught in the blast as well, all of them hence drowned instantly in the horrific explosion.

At virtually the same instant, the Sentinel of the Right stepped on one of the mines too.

He had circled around the back of the mansion, ready to charge inside Jiang He’s house from that direction… but Jiang He had planted thirty potato mines there.

It was not actually Jiang He planning ahead of time. He simply had that much potato mines left at that point, which was why he simply threw them all in.

Once the Sentinel of the Right stepped on the potato minefield, he instantly sensed danger and unleashed a burst of True Qi to protect his body, darting backward while barking, “Back off! It’s dangerous!”

Boom!

Flames burst forth.

A rank-eight Grand who was behind him was instantly torn into pieces by the violent explosion, and consumed by the flame that ejected out from beneath the soil…

Even Jiang he, who just ran into the yard, was left utterly bewildered by the chain of explosions!

What the heck…

What happened?

What was with the big commotion?

Still, he soon became excited and laughed out loud. “Sky Demon Cultists?”

He had been missing them for so long!

Then, he arrived at the front gates.

That was when he saw Sword Star. wielding an alloy longsword in the darkness. His weapon turning into a sword flash, it deflected every bullet as he cried, “Senior Elder, Speed Star—go, claim Jiang He’s head!”

He strode forward, staunchly reaching just a few steps in front of the gatling gun despite its bombardment and laughed coldly, “Trying to stop me with just a machine gun…”

Pop!

A single bullet, triggering its ‘armor-piercing’ effect struck Sword Star squarely in the head then.

There was a look of utter disbelief in his eyes as he tumbled to the ground loudly.

But at the same time that he fell, the old woman and Speed Star had reached Jiang He.

Though the old woman looked sickly and weak, her sudden burst of strength was incredibly fearsome. Her crutch, that weighed up to a hundred catties was swung down right into Jiang He’s face, kicking up a roaring wind as it swung down towards him.

If it hit Jiang He in the face, he would…

Definitely get a big swell on the head!

Without thinking, Jiang He promptly raised his hands and struck out with Mighty Dragon Shows Penance!

Rawr!

The silhouette of a dragon bellowed, knocking away the crutch before Jiang He punched out again, beating the old woman to death even as she reached him.

Behind him, the five silhouettes of five great suns arose as Nature Qi encircled around his body, golden radiance and starlight interweaving over his body while the dragon’s roar and an elephant’s trumpeting could be heard. With that, Jiang He promptly turned and raised his feet, kicking out at Speed Star as the Decan lunged towards him.

Pow!

Poor Speed Star was a wind-type Awakened, and his physique was even weaker than a rank-six martial artist. Hence, he was blown up by Jiang He’s single kick.

Though the process required a lengthy description, the truth was that it took Jiang He less than two seconds to kill the Senior elder, Speed Star, and Sword Star.

It all happened too quickly that neither the old woman nor Speed Star realized what happened up until they were killed.

Jiang He’s current ability was exceedingly power, and he was capable of instakilling any rank-eights and rank-nines… it was unless an individual was as peerless as a rank-nine like the Sentinel of the Right who gained perfect grasp over the Boundary of Wills that they might survive several blows from Jiang He.

“Eh?”

Jiang He turned to look towards the back of his mansion, and couldn’t help grinning. “Interesting, the Sky Demon Cult is quite generous this time… to think that they would send a real elite here.”

Stretching out with his spirit, he promptly noticed the Sentinel of the Right as well as two Decans, and hence strode out to meet them.

After all, every visitor who came to his house was a guest.

As the owner of the house, it was only reasonable that he received them.

***

The explosions were slowly fading now.

Beneath the wall around the yard, the Flowing Cloud Holy Child, the Fourth Elder of the Sky Demon Cult, and Peace Star all stepped out, still feeling spooked.

They had reacted quickly and evaded swift enough. Moreover, they were staying behind the six Heavenly Generals, which was how they managed to escape the brutal explosion of the potato minefield and survived.

Even so, the six Heavenly Generals were not so lucky. Only one amongst them was not blown to death right then and there, with half of his body rolling to the Flowing Cloud Holy Child’s feet. Coughing and gurgling blood from his mouth, he roared, “For the Holy Faith!”

Then, he croaked.

“Damn it!”

Flowing Cloud Holy Child bellowed in rage, his eyes going red. “Didn’t they say that Jiang He was only planting potatoes over there? Where did the landmines come from?”

The tremendous explosion had concealed the sounds of gunshots and the horrific aura Jiang He unleashed when he killed both the Senior Elder and Speed Star. Even so, the Flowing Cloud Holy Child knew that now was not the time to mourn.

Clenching his alloy combat blade, he bellowed, “Kill!”

“Kill Jiang He, and avenge the deaths of the Heavenly Generals!”

Spiriting forward, he promptly landed atop the wall of Jiang He’s yard.

But even before he could finish the emboldening, passionate words—

Whoosh!

A single massive vine tendril had suddenly shot out and coiled around the Flowing Cloud Holy Child, dragging him down.

“No!”

The Flowing Cloud Holy Child yelled in fear and panic, “Dark Star, save me…”

He was so lucky that he landed squarely on the spot where the Cloudscraper Vine grew.

Outside the wall, the Fourth Elder was panicking as well and exclaimed in shock, “What on earth is that?”

“Boston Ivy!”

Dark Star’s eyes tightened as she exclaimed somberly. “No, it’s not a Boston Ivy… even a Boston Ivy that evolved and mutated into a floral spirit would definitely not possess such profound vigor!”

Being a wood-type Awakened, she possessed a unique innate affinity for plants, and she could even control plants to serve her purpose.

And yet, in this very moment as she extended her senses against the gigantic, frightening plant, Dark Star’s only felt an inward horror.

Whoosh!

The Cloudscraper Vine’s nine tendrils were thrashing around wildly in the air. Be that as it may, Flowing Cloud Holy Child was still a rank-eight martial arts grandmaster who had been groomed firmly by the Sky Demon Cult since a young age. His ability was so overwhelming that he once slew a rank-seven novice Feral all by himself when he was merely rank-six pinnacle.

And now, bursting out with all his strength, he struggled wildly, and it looked for a moment that he was about to shrug free from the constricting and strangling of the Cloudscraper Vine.

“Hold on, Flowing Cloud!”

Dark Star called out quietly, releasing her energy. All at once, emerald radiance exploded around her, with every single ray darting towards the Cloudscraper Vine, attempting to control the plant…

Her veil was torn apart by the energy, exposing a withered and aged face, and it was completely out of place in contrast to her body.

In that instant, that withered and aged face began to age along with her body, and Dark Star exclaimed, “Oh, no… Fourth Elder, save me!”

As a wood-type Awakened, she was adept at using her powers to control plants.

Even so, she clearly felt that the gigantic Boston Ivy was actually absorbing the supernatural energies inside her body right now… she tried to withdraw her power but could not do it at all.

Within seconds, the Dark Star’s body dried up entirely.

Thud!

Hence, she dropped to the ground, without an ounce of vigor.

On the other hand, after having absorbed the wood-type superpower, the tendrils of the Cloudscraper Vine was shining magnificently in emerald radiance. The penetration power of each of its spikes seemed to strengthen considerably, and soon, the vigor on Flowing Cloud Holy Child’s body began to dissipate amidst his anguished, terrible yells, his voice slowly fading…

At that, the look on the mage-robed Fourth Elder’s face changed.

A poker card appeared in his hand with a wave of his hand.

The card hence turned into an archway, and Fourth Elder leapt inside, disappearing through the archway.

It was one of his abilities that kept him alive, and even the poker card was materialized thanks to his superpower. Nonetheless, before the archway could disappear, a single serpentine vine shot inside the archway with the whooshing sound of an airburst, pulling Fourth Elder back out just as he was about to escape.

After absorbing the superpower belonging to Dark Star, the Cloudscraper Vine had morphed and evolved again. Its tendrils were now over a hundred meters long, and once it coiled around the Fourth Elder, even an Awakened with abilities to match peak rank-nine elites like him was unable to fight back at all.

***

“Damn it!”

Behind the mansion.

The Sentinel of the Right’s face dropped even after he escaped the potato minefield, and he cried out once again, “Run! Run away, now! Our intelligence is mistaken!”

Being an elite with perfect grasp over the Boundary of wills, his senses were not fully obscured despite the boom and rush of energy unleashed in the instant that the potato minefield exploded.

Within his senses, an immeasurably violent power was slowly brewing.

And that power…

Was far was beyond his own!

“Divine-tier!

“A divine-tier champion is guarding within Jiang He’s house…

“Trap. It’s a trap…”

Whoosh!

The Sentinel of the Right turned to leave, even ignoring the two Grands who were with him. One Grand had been blown to death in the instant that the potato minefield was triggered, and the other two were injured as well. How could he escape if he brought them along?

And yet, even before the Sentinel of the Right could run over 200 meters, he came to a stop on his own.

A scarlet blade radiance hovered in the air before him, blocking his path.

“Brothers of the Sky Demon Cult. Now that you’re here, why leave in such a rush?”

“Many amongst your fellowship sleep on my farm. Don’t you want to keep them company?”

Jiang He was slowly walking towards him, smiling coolly. “Moreover, are you really trying to escape when you’re already here?”

“Jiang He?”

The Sentinel of the Right slowly turned, his eyes tightening when he saw Jiang He’s face clearly, and he could not help exclaiming, “No, that’s impossible… Jiang He, are you divine-tier?!”

“I get it now; I get it now!”

As if having lost his mind, the Sentinel of the Right was laughing in despair and muttering to himself, “There was never any ‘genius’ Jiang He. It’s all a bait and a trap. Even so, why is a divine-tier champion like you acting so shamelessly?”

“…”

Jiang He frowned.

What was this guy saying?

Did he mean to say that Jiang He had always been a divine-tier elite, and had been playing the role of a young prodigy all along, drawing in wave after wave of Sky Demon Cultists to attack himself, hence ambushing and killing them?’

Such slander!

It was all bare-naked slander of his name!

Jiang He rushed ahead, bursting out with the Third Fold of the Ninefold Thunderblade and slashed out nine times at once, knocking the Sentinel of the Right to the ground as he cursed and yelled, “Why the hell are you Sky Demon Cults so utterly shameless?”

“All of you were the ones who provoked me from start to finish!”

“And yet, you would spit at me and slander me?”

“I, Jiang He am just a martial newbie who only started out for a month-and-a-half. How did I suddenly become divine-tier in your own words!”

Stab!

Nonetheless, Jiang He only came to his senses after stabbing the Sentinel of the Right to death with a single thrust of his blade. Slapping his forehead, he muttered in irritation, “Damn it, I couldn’t hold back from killing again. Still, this fellow’s not weak and must be a top ranker in the Sky Demon Cult. I could have kept him alive for some extreme interrogation.”