Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting, While I Started a Farm
chapter-384

Translator: EndlessFantasy Translation Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation

Hu Mei shot Jiang He a look of grief and complained cutely, “You’re horrible, Master!”

Still, she reverted to her true form right away: it was a hundred-meter-long white fox whose fur was white as the drive snow, her nine tails gently wagging.

Damn it.

What is good or horrible about having you assume your true form as my mount?

I’m a seven-feet tall healthy man straighter than a ruler—what, am I going to do indescribable stuff to your true form?

Jiang He complained inwardly, but went up to stroke Hu Mie’s fur which felt silky and tender. After that, he leapt up and sat over her back, feeling a soft sensation on her rump which was especially comfortable.

Most importantly, her back was wide enough for him to lie down on and sleep.

“Shall we go right now, Master?”

Hu Mei asked in human speech, while Jiang He nodded and instructed, “Remember to keep us hidden so that the Sky Demons won’t notice us. I’m going there for a guerilla strike and my goal is to kill as many as possible without a direct confrontation.”

“Hehe.”

Hu Mei giggled in reply. “Don’t worry, Master! I’m most adept at hiding auras, and even True Immortals would have a hard time finding me if they were not looking for me deliberately.”

Whoosh!

With a single leap, she turned into a white flash as she shot toward the skies.

Jiang He looked down and watched as his own house became smaller in his vision, and soon, all of Lingzhou City, the Hua Nation, as well as Earth shrunk as well—in the space of a dozen breaths, Hu Mei had rushed out of the atmosphere and arrived in space.

However, Jiang He could not help feeling shocked when he turned back to look at Earth, and promptly called out, “Hu Mei, stop!”

Hu Mei promptly stopped, while Jiang He directed his mystic energy into his eyes and studied Earth again. He could now see that many illusory mountains and islands had now shown up upon the beautiful blue planet, though most were shrouded by arrays of Spirit Qi, and even Jiang He could not see through it despite his vision.

Of course, the main reason was that the distant was too great.

Seemingly able to see through Jiang He’s uncertainty, Hu Mei then said, “Master, Earth is known by the other races of space as the humans’ home planet… naturally, it is not just this huge. There are many blessed grounds and grotto-heavens hidden in space, spanning over hundreds, even thousands of miles, most of which are hidden by superior beings.”

“Thousands of miles? The Earth’s radius is only over 6,000 kilometers—doesn’t that mean some of those blessed grounds and grotto-heavens are as large as Earth?”

“And once those places reveal themselves, wouldn’t Earth’s surface expand violently?”

Jiang He was rather astonished.

He had thought that the immortal sects, demonic sects, and daemon cultivators was all the secrets Earth had to offer… but those prove to merely be small fries now.

“Earth is the home planet and the birthplace of human civilization, after all. It has also been claimed to be the heart of all worlds, and the countless human elites born here could overwhelmed every other world in the universe. It is natural that things aren’t as simple as they look.”

“Rumor has it that there is a profound secret hidden on Earth as well,” Hu Mei then added. “Whoever claims it first could claim transcendence, which is why the Hundred Races mounted an invasion on Earth in the past.”

Puzzled, Jiang He asked, “You just told me that countless human elites once roamed Earth, but where had they gone when the Hundred Races invaded? Did they not return to defend Earth?”

Hu Mei shook her head, gesturing that she did not know the answer.

As such, Jiang He stared at the blue planet a little longer before saying, “Alright, let’s keep going.”

However, he was extremely interested in the secrets of Earth, and could not help wanting to return immediately and investigate those grotto-heavens and blessed grounds. Even so, it was more important that he deal with the threat of the Sky Demons right away.

Hu Mei nodded and reverted to her true form before heading deeper into space.

Jiang He, riding on top of her, turned back to look at Earth again, and could not help thinking, ‘Are there cultivators or elites still alive at those grotto-heavens and blessed grounds? If there were, would they act if the Sky Demons reached Earth?’

Hah!

Jiang He was amused by his own thought.

He had already gotten an idea or two by the reaction shown by the immortal sects, demonic sects, and daemon cultivators in the previous invasion of the Sky Demons.

They were heartless.

Even if there were surviving elites residing in those grotto-heavens and blessed grounds which the superior beings left, they would not care if others lived.

Therefore, it would be better to not hold hope toward them.

One should resolve the problems that one was capable of resolving.

At this very moment, Jiang He had a dark look on his face.

***

Meanwhile, back on Earth, at he Martial Arts Department (MAD) headquarters in Jingdu City, the Hua Nation, Wang Hou had been constantly keeping an eye on outer space in his office. His face twitched just then, and he promptly diverted some of his focus through the Star Map, sensing…

And moments later…

Wang Hou held his forehead and laughed sourly, saying, “The brat really charged up to Mars…”

Was he supposed to stop him?

Persuade him to return?

Jiang He was already in the depths of outer space, and there was no way Wang Hou could catch up and contact him. Even if he could reach out to Jiang He, would the brat return, given his usual attitude?

“Still, since he has the guts to go, he must have some degree of confidence… at the very least, his fox spirit maid is powerful, and keeping Jiang He alive during a vital moment would not be an issue.”

Wang Hou hence left his office, and stood above thin air above Jingdu City, looking up at the skies for a long time.

A sense of feebleness arose inside him.

He felt that he was not catching up with the times.

There was once a time when he thought that his cultivation progress and luck was unmatched. So why did he feel like everything was going wrong from him when that devil named Jiang He popped up?

Hah!

He breathed another sigh.

Landed back within Jingdu City, he muttered to himself, “I can only hope that Jiang He’s preemptive strike would work. Otherwise, even with the Taixu Sect and the Ten Thousand Swords Sect backing us, the possibility of stopping the Sky Demon legion would be near zero.”

***

The ancient planet Mars was dried, barren and without much signs of life.

The many warp portals buried beneath yellow sand were dug out, and the Sky Demon legion of three million had gathered around it.

Of those three million, there were almost 2.7 million Golden Pellet individuals—in other words, almost ninety percent of the legion.

There were also 200,000 True Child soldiers and almost 100,000 Yuan Spirit soldiers, while there were a lot fewer Convergence champions at around 20,000…

However, this was every Convergence-tier champion from the hundreds of living planets that the Sky Demons conquered.

Moreover, there were almost a thousand Sufferance-tier champions and over eighty Mahayana-tier champions, the most eye catching among the latter being the Demon Lord himself. Dressed in black armor, Demonic Qi swirled around him and his aura was unmatched, with even hints of an immortal’s power lingering on his body, meaning that he was not far from reaching Heavenly Immortal.

Even so, the Demon Lord had lowered his head and there was a reverent look on his face.

Opposite him stood four Heavenly Immortal-tier Sky Demon champions.

All four of them were bowing and greeting in one voice, “Welcome, Lord Molona!”

The rest of the entire three-million strong legion greeted him as one as well, “Welcome, Lord Molona!”

In the encampment, a towering Demonic Qi shot to the skies, inside of which the power of an immortal stirred. After that, a burly man standing 2.5 meters tall and wearing a set of blood-colored armor strode out.

He had a giant blood-hued war blade slung over his back, and he surveyed the legion coldly before abruptly drawing his blade, and declaring sonorously, “Warriors, the time to avenge our ancestors has come…”

Then came a sonorous wave of cheers.

Every soldier in the Sky Demon legion could feel their blood boiling, and dropped to their knees as they breathed resounding battle-cries.

“Tut, tut…”

In the atmosphere of Mars, Jiang He clicked his tongue, unable to resist a retort, “No wonder anyone the Sky Demons sent could create a Sky Demon Cult on Earth… the Sky Demons are simply terrific at dishing out poisoned chicken soup (1).”

“Master, what does ‘poisoned chicken soup’ means?”

At the moment, Hu Mei had assumed human form, and had snuggled closely to Jiang He.

It was to ensure that she could hide Jiang He’s aura and keep them from being noticed by the Sky Demons’ True Immortal.

“I can’t be bothered to explain,” Jiang He replied. “Anyway, how much closer could we get to the Sky Demons without the True Immortal noticing us?”

Hu Mei thought abut it, and said, “If he doesn’t scan the air on purpose, I could bring you within five kilometers away without him noticing, Master.”

Five kilometers.

Jiang He groaned but said nothing.

Hu Mei thought that Jiang He was dissatisfied, and so puckered her lips and mouthed through gritted teeth, “I could get even closer if I went by myself, Master.”

“No need.”

Jiang He waved her off and said, “Actually, five kilometers is already too close, so just get me closer. After I throw my hand grenades, ignore everything else and pick me up, then fly high above the skies so that we won’t caught in the blast.”

Hand grenade?

It was an absolutely unfamiliar word for Hu Mei, but since Jiang He had spoken, she naturally would do as told.

Ooom!

Without a word or sound, Hu Mei dived downwards while carrying Jiang He, and stopped around 1,500 meters above the True Immortal.

Jiang He then took out one Heavenly Thunderbolt Hand Grenade… but after some thought and find that insecure, he took out ninety-nine more to make an even number.

He then found an inferior-grade sage-tier rope to tie around the 100 hand grenades, but just as he was about to throw them, he heard Hu Mei cry out, “Oh no, we’ve been spotted!”

“What?”

Jiang He shuddered, and accidentally dropped all 100 Heavenly Thunderbolt Hand Grenade down from the skies.

***

Translator’s Note:

1) Poisoned chicken soup: A reference to demotivational memes or sayings, as opposed to the Chicken Soup for the Soul book series.