Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World
chapter-117

Chapter 117 – Naked Florida Man Dances and Sings to Cheer Arson Victim after He Burnt Her House

The parasitic cancerous cells of the skeleton vanished into Leo's body. Leo's blood cells quickly swarmed the intruders, and a war erupted inside him.

Muscle tissues and fibers were twisted and torn. Cracking arm bones let out a loud noise, warning Leo about the crisis. However, the guy ignored the pain in his broken right arm. He pulled another talisman from his left pocket and put it in his mouth, eating it as a snack.

Leo was never afraid of symbiosis creatures or microorganisms. Because of his evolved cells, his immunity system had never been defeated by random viruses, parasites, bacteria, or fungi.

CRACK

The right arm swelled and wiggled as most intruding cells were in there. As for his left arm, nothing changed as his cells already suppressed the parasites.

WIGGLE

The swelling right arm turned green. Leo glanced at it as he started to get annoyed.

A few seconds later, the arm shrank and reverted to normal. The skin's complexion restored its usual color. Unfortunately, impurity gathered in Leo's nails, causing his right hand's fingernails to turn black.

DING

<You have digested soul stone parasites.>

<Your lifespan has increased by 10,000 years.>

A smile appeared on Leo's face. At least, the reward was worth the trouble.

Nonchalantly, Leo pulled his right hand's fingernails off his fingers. He flickered one of them away, discarding it.

As soon as the nail hit the floor, it melted the metal frame, releasing acidic gas and a sizzling sound.

"Ah, crap. Are you for real? Is my body fluid the same as Aliens in movies? Even my freaking nails can melt spaceships now?"

Noticing the melting floor, Leo pulled the black nail out of the ground and looked at it. While holding it in his hand, it slightly burnt his skin.

Since the polluted fingernails might be too dangerous, Leo stored them in his spatial ring for the moment. He turned around and left the bridge.

.

After taking care of his business, Leo explored the spaceship, following the guide from the map earlier. He visited the crew cabins next.

At the back of the ship, a section was dedicated to a living quarter. Capsule beds lined up in the walls, allowing the ship's crew to sleep inside.

Looking at the cramped space, Leo couldn't imagine himself living in this spaceship. Still, he challenged his inner claustrophobia and climbed into one of the capsules for fun.

The bed was soft and comfortable if Leo didn't mind the thick layer of dust and trillions of dust mites.

"I should build these for my employees later. I don't think the apartment is enough for a couple thousand people."

Leo wondered if he could build another apartment or a living quarter for more people as the current facilities in his system domain were insufficient to house at least a thousand people from Amazonian Sanctuary and Life Sword Sect. He might have to manually build a resident for them.

After leaving the capsule, Leo patted his clothes. He searched for the crew's belongings if they had some useful sci-fi tools or interesting weapons to use.

Thinking of weaponry, Leo had an idea.

"If this spaceship came from the US, they should at least have firearms or an armory onboard."

Leo snickered and scanned through the drawers, cabinets, and crates in the living quarter. It didn't take long for Leo to find unknown objects.

He found a metallic tube with a button. Leo pressed on it, but it did nothing. There were three others. However, Leo couldn't make it work for some reason.

After shaking and slapping one of them a few times, something came off the metallic tube.

TOK-TOK

A small black crystal bounced and rolled on the floor. When Leo found it, he raised his eyebrows in bemusement.

It was an essence stone. However, its energy was already depleted.

"So, I need an essence stone? Alrighty, then!"

Leo mimicked Jim Carrey's expression and ejected a spirit stone from his spatial ring. He grabbed the stolen spirit stone and shouted at it, again, copying the actor's iconic voice.

"My brother in Christ! BEHOLD ZE MIRACLE!"

The spirit stone glittered and transformed into an essence stone. Its energy was filled with Leo's element essence and his life force.

After getting a brand new essence stone, Leo fiddled with the unknown stick, inserting the stone back in.

Five minutes later, Leo finally learned how the tool worked. He twisted the handle, which revealed s small hole to insert the stone, aka a battery. After putting the essence stone in, Leo pressed the button again.

FZZKKRRRGG

The lightsaber was activated. Its red color and its sci-fi sound effect stunned Leo.

"Isn't this a freaking lightsaber? Ha… Hahahaha! Oh, dear lord. I have a freaking lightsaber in a Chinese fantasy world! What the hell?!"

Playing with the lightsaber, Leo swung it around, pretending to be a master Jedi. However, he accidentally sliced capsule beds nearby and left carnage behind.

Playing enough, Leo flipped the switch and deactivated the lightsaber. He quickly stored it in his spatial ring. However, having one wasn't enough.

Leo scoured and gathered more broken lightsaber handles. He chortled like a maniac while he broke more crates and cabinets in the area, searching for more.

After 10 minutes, Leo only secured 10 lightsabers. He was slightly disappointed, but he was still excited to find more useful futuristic tools from this spaceship.

When Leo left the cabin area, Thora returned to him. She didn't look happy.

'The air circulation machine is broken because of you. The plants are going to die soon,' Thora wrote the wall in anger.

Leo stroked his beard, "Air circulation? Plants? Well, instead of growing those plants in here, how about I bring those plants to my domain?"

'Yes, please. Well, if you can access the engine room, that is. You still need the spirit queen's permission to access the other restricted area.'

Thora paused for a moment. She frowned as she remembered that the crew cabin area was also restricted. Even Gao Yan couldn't enter here when he tried earlier.

'By the way, how did you get in here?' Thora had a bad feeling about this.

Leo shrugged, "I just can. Well, same-old, same-old. I just scanned my fingerprints and hands on the console, and voila!"

The corners of Thora's mouth twitched. She had a wild guess, but she prayed that it wouldn't be the case. Still, for the sake of confirmation, she guided him to the engine room.

'Follow me.'

"Okie, dokie. By the way, does this spaceship have an armory? Where did the former crew store the guns?"

Thora had no idea what Leo was talking about. She scoffed and ignored him.

Seeing the girl's reaction, Leo shook his head. He stopped making jokes and walked through the dark corridor, proceeding toward the engine room.

.

When the duo was close to the engine room, they came across thick black smoke and extreme heat. Leo's green eyes and nostrils braced the toxic as he stomped toward the burning engine room.

"Oh, boy. Nobody here has a fire extinguisher, I see."

Leo pointed his finger in front of him and ordered his cancer cells to produce water for him.

ZAAAA

A high-pressure water stream came out from Leo's index finger like a laser beam. He let out a long sigh and sprayed water everywhere to reduce the heat.

When Leo got closer to the engine room, he saw a trace of blue flame, which was burning something behind the room. As electronic devices wouldn't work, Leo ignored the console and walked toward the sealed metal door.

Without hesitation, Leo punched it.

BOOM

Bad idea.

As soon as the door was blasted and allowed the air to flow out of the engine room, a sea of flame flooded Leo, devouring him whole. Even the water from Leo's index finger was suppressed.

The blue flame burnt his clothes, but it couldn't do anything to his skin. Leo snorted and changed his approach, commanding his cancer cells to unleash his water element essence and create more water.

ZAAAA

A tsunami came out from Leo's body, entering the engine room.

ZAAAP

Unfortunately, by doing so, Leo got zapped by an unknown source of electricity. He felt like he was hit by a green tribulation lightning bolt.

A mild electric current didn't faze him. Leo patiently extinguished the flame and waited for the situation to be under his control.

When the fire died down, Leo stopped producing water. While butt naked, Leo walked into the ruined engine room to check the ship's condition.

Everything in the room was reduced to metal scraps. Leo bitterly smiled as he felt guilty for flipping the wrong switches and burning the ship by accident.

Thora looked inside the room and cried. This place was once her home, and she used to live here. Without the functioning engine, no other lightning element spirit could be born.

'It's your fault, geezer! Why did you have to ruin my home?!'

Leo couldn't hear Thora. He explored the destroyed engine room and found a pedestal, which stored a large crystal ball inside a glass container. However, the glasses were already melted, leaving only the fist-sized crystal ball.

Leo frowned and rubbed its surface, wondering what it was.

VIING

As soon as Leo touched it, its property changed. Some of his element essences recharged its energy.

WHOOSH

The soul stone changed color from black to green. Then, it emanated green lightning branches everywhere.

'Eh?! HOW?!'

Thora was shocked as Leo just recharged the soul stone's energy to the max with one touch. As for Leo, he still had no clue what it was for as he hadn't researched this item yet.

"Eh… It wasn't me!" Leo laughed, denying his responsibility. Still, he grabbed the soul stone and stored it in his spatial ring. "Welp, we're done here. Let's go to other places and rescue your little plants."

While flabbergasted, Thora kept staring at Leo's face. When she came back to her senses, she wrote the floor to ask Leo the most important question.

'Geezer, are you the new owner of this realm? Did you kill the Rabbit Trent King?'

"How did you know?" Leo proudly grinned, "I thought I hadn't told anybody."

'You…'

Thora pointed her finger at Leo's face, but she gave up commenting on anything else. She was mentally exhausted.

'Fine. Let's take the plants out, and we're leaving. There's nothing to see here.'

Again, Leo couldn't hear her. He Gangnam-styled his way to the plant chamber, trying to cheer her up.

The weird sight of a buffed elderly man dancing made Thora smile. She shook her head and secretly cursed him.

'Dumb geezer.'

"OP-OP-OP OPPAN Gangnum Style!"