Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World
chapter-271

Chapter 271 – Florida Man Claims Immortality Achieved After 33 Days of Sunbathing

While the clock was ticking, Leo floated in space, staring at the frozen beams from the cylinder warships. 50 beams formed 50 pillars, threatening to punch through the planet below.

"Pushing the entire planet out of the way? But if I do that, the planet might go out of the orbit path. It will surely ruin the ecological system and the weather cycles. Also, I have never pushed a planet in my life. Even if I do it, I might end up digging the ground and find myself in the depths of the planet instead. No rock or natural soil can withstand that force. Hmm… What to do?"

Even though Leo was not the smartest, he racked his brain to find the best solution. He always thought of the worst-case scenarios and the aftermath whenever he came up with a solution.

Pushing a planet out of the beam's trajectory was impossible as the planet couldn't withstand such a kinetic force. Leo might end up destroying it instead.

Moving the cylinder ships was also not an option. As the beams had already concentrated a mass of Qi and unleashed a beam, 50% of the energy was gathered at the tips of the death rays. In addition, the remaining force still followed the energy balls within the light, and they would hit the planet eventually.

Then, there was a third option. Leo could deflect, block, or absorb the concentrated energy balls at the tips of death rays first. Then, he could lessen the damage to the planet and protect the innocent people of the planet.

"Probably third choice. It's gonna be a grind."

Leo tested his theory. He flew toward one of the mass of energy balls at the tip of a beam. Then, he punched it.

The hit connected and caused a ripple. The energy ball slightly shrank and bounced backward, dispersing energy everywhere. Some of the light particles fell on Leo's arms and hands.

DING

<Your lifespan has increased by 1,243 years.>

<Your lifespan has increased by 1,271 years.>

<Your lifespan has increased by 1,214 years.>

"HMM?!"

Leo widened his eyes in astonishment. He couldn't believe what the system had informed him.

"I CAN GAIN LIFESPAN FROM THIS?!"

Enlightened, Leo moved around and bathed himself in the particles of light.

DING

<Your lifespan has increased by 1,227 years.>

<Your lifespan has increased by 1,206 years.>

<Your lifespan has increased by 1,279 years.>

The system did not disappoint him. This confirmed Leo's hypothesis.

He burst into laughter. "Oh, my goodness. What a hack!!"

Instead of punching the condensed ball of light, Leo stretched his hand and sank his fingers into the mass.

DING

<Your lifespan has increased by 1,298 years.>

<Your lifespan has increased by 1,294 years.>

<Your lifespan has increased by 1,211 years.>

This changed everything. Leo changed his plan.

He threw himself into one of the masses and bathed himself in the light.

"NOM-NOM MOTHERHUMPER!!"

DING

DING

DING

.

.

While carrying a hundred innocent elves with his Qi, Meowmeow looked up and gazed at his master.

"What is he doing?" Asked Meowmeow.

Aslan was nearby. He had been pushing a cartwheel, carrying a dozen of children toward the portal. He followed Meowmeow's gaze and looked up.

"Nom-Noming, perhaps."

"Nom-Nom…what?"

"Energy draining. The usual stuff."

"Has he learned the vampiric touch or energy drain dao before?"

Aslan snickered, "Read his memory again. He has already copied a bunch of daos and skills from many experts. Your lord is a hard worker."

"Copy… Right. The simulation system. That system is a cheat. I still couldn't believe that you got your hands on that entity fate crystal with this system."

"That's where you're wrong. Entity fate crystals never have that ability. At best, it can only give some assisting perks and quality-of-life perks in exchange for a portion of the karma contract or life force. What he has is the latter type."

Meowmeow nodded as he was less informed than Aslan. He gazed at his master, wondering what Aslan had planned for his son.

"Say, Aslan. I know he's your son, but what are you planning for him? I can't read his fate at all after he has unlocked the simulation mode."

Aslan shrugged, "Returning the favor, I guess."

"Returning the favor? Oh…" Meowmeow's expression changed. He recalled the secret of Aslan and Leo's existence. "In the end, we're a bunch of NPCs, huh?"

"Yup. From the very beginning, this universe is tailored for him all along."

"You sick son of a…" Meowmeow wanted to curse Aslan for this master plan. Still, he couldn't hate the guy.

"Let's keep serving him." Aslan raised his fist, "For the universe and our future."

Meowmeow sighed and fist-bumped the guy, "For your son and my future harem."

"Screw you, sicko. One of these days, I'll reincarnate you into a body of a clone and wipe your memory!"

"Hehehehe! I've already foreseen my distant future. I'll have over a hundred sexy concubines and a warm family! I'll live a good fulfilling life!"

"Yeah, and you will suffer. Your son will suffer. Some of your wives will also die and suffer because of you."

"…"

Meowmeow shut his mouth and pouted. He snorted, "I'll make sure to learn one of our lord's abilities for that day."

"Yeah, you will. I suggest you master this time domain ability. It will be useful for the future."

"I know. I also want that simulation mode too…"

"… You greedy dumbass."

The men laughed and continued working.

.

33 days later…

Meowmeow, Aslan, and Lucky managed to transfer five million elves to the other side. They also sent messages to Meowmeow's concubines and Esen, asking them to assist them in accommodating and controlling the refugees.

Esen and Meowmeow's concubines exchanged messages by throwing letters into the portal as they couldn't leave yet. They learned about the development and the predicament of the refugees.

Unfortunately, there were over 100 million elves on the planet. Leo's subordinates couldn't save everybody by themselves, though none of them cared.

After all, they were confident in their lord's abilities.

In the orbit, Leo bathed in the middle of the 48th beam. He snored and floated there, absorbing the light and the Qi.

DING

<Your lifespan has increased by 1,235 years. Your lifespan has reached the maximum capacity. The excess life force will be converted to lifespan credit.>

<Your lifespan has increased by 1,255 years. Your lifespan has reached the maximum capacity. The excess life force will be converted to lifespan credit.>

Every second, a message informed Leo of his gain. The number of unread messages accumulated, but Leo no longer looked at it. He was tired of reading every message.

"KOK"

Finally, Leo's pig-like snoring ended. He rubbed his eyes and deeply yawned. Glancing at the message screen, Leo pressed the [Mark All as Read]. Then, he checked his bank balance.

<Current lifespan: 2,147,483,647 Years.>

<Your lifespan has reached the maximum capacity!>

<Tips. You can upgrade your soul by using lifespan as a currency.>

"Eh? Already? This is kinda déjà vu."

Leo had seen this number before. He felt like it was yesterday.