Hagakure Sakura Does Not Lament
chapter-28

As Tsugumi staggered back to bed and held his head in his hands, he heard the door to his room open. Chidori walked into the room, holding a scarf around her mouth.

“Oh, you’re awake. I brought you a change of clothes. Is this right?”

With a slight blush on her cheeks, Chidori handed her a handbag filled with clothes – mainly underwear.

As he accepted it, he thanked her, feeling slightly embarrassed. Normally, they washed their clothes separately, so even though they were siblings, it was a little embarrassing for them to see each other’s underwear.

“Yeah, it’s fine. Thank you for going out of your way.”

“Don’t worry. –You still look pale, are you alright? You can rest if you want, okay?”

“No problem. Rather, I’ve been sleeping so much that my body aches.”

When Tsugumi said this, Chidori laughed, as if she was relieved.

“It feels lonely that you have to be in the hospital for a week, but we have to make sure you get better. …I’m really glad that Tsugumi didn’t die.”

“Chidori…”

–A family member collapsed in front of her, coughing up blood. How terrifying that must have been. Tsugumi shuddered to think if he had been in the opposite position.

He gently took her right hand in his. The hard sword marks on her hand seemed to indicate how hard she had been working. The hand was a little tender, but to him, it was the most precious thing.

“I’m really sorry for worrying you. …But I might do the same thing again if Chidori is in danger.”

He shouldn’t say anything that would cause too much worry to the busy Chidori. Even Tsugumi knew that. But he wanted to tell her this.

He’d been repeating these words over and over in his mind, and now he was saying them out loud to himself.

“I’m more afraid of losing Chidori than anything else. –Because you are my only family.”

At the moment when Tsugumi said this, Chidori’s eyes shook unnaturally. Then she opened her mouth as if to mend it.

“But it was a glitch in the government’s system, wasn’t it? I don’t think I will get caught up in something like that again…”

“I don’t know about that…”

He remembered what Bell said. She said that Radon was a manifestation based on the mythological lore that remained in the Hakone area.

It should be something to be proud of, but there were so many monsters and myths in Japan. As long as Radon was a prerequisite, it was almost certain that Demonic Beast that couldn’t be grasped by the forecasting system would continue to appear in the future. If this were to happen, the damage to the city would be even greater than it was now.

The system was probably still in the process of verification, but as soon as there was any proof, it would be announced to the public. If that happened, some confusion would be unavoidable.

If the probability of people being harmed by Demonic Beast increased, it was impossible to say that Chidori wouldn’t be harmed. Even Tsugumi couldn’t watch over her at all hours of the day.

Tsugumi was the kind of person who would fight his mighty enemies for the sake of Chidori, with all his courage. That’s why he was more afraid of losing Chidori than anything else. If he lost the spiritual pillar of his life, he couldn’t imagine what he would become. Just thinking about it made him want to throw up.

…Maybe it was more like dependence than familial love.

“I’ll try not to overdo it as much as possible, but I want Chidori to be more careful from now on. …Please”

As he closed his eyes in prayer, something hit him on the head – it was Chidori’s head. She took Tsugumi’s hand with her free left hand, so close that their breaths touched, and Chidori said.

“It’s all right. –I won’t leave Tsugumi’s side. I’ll be right next to you, no matter what.”

“…That might be too much.”

“What, even though Tsugumi was so passionate about it in the beginning? Isn’t that kind of terrible?”

“Haha, I was kidding. I’m glad–thank you.”

“You surprised me!”

Then they both looked at each other and giggled.

–He suddenly remembered something from his childhood. He had a feeling that something like this had happened before. When he was a little kid, he had a scary dream, and when he jumped out of bed, his sister came running… That person comforted the crying Tsugumi with a kind face–

–He felt pain in his head and chest. His vision shook for a moment.

…I feel like I was about to remember something, but was it just my imagination?

“…Speaking of which, Mebuki-senpai said something strange earlier.”

After releasing Chidori’s hand and taking a breath, Tsugumi muttered to himself. Yes – as if it was a funny story.

“How can you recognize each other as sister and brother when you don’t remember anything from the past? Because, you know. That’s a strange thing to ask, even for Senpai. …Chidori? What’s wrong?”

“Oh, no, it’s okay. It’s nothing. I just seem to be a little sleep-deprived.”

Chidori said so with a cloudy expression on her face. Perhaps she couldn’t sleep much because she was worried about the fallen Tsugumi. Thinking about it, he felt a little guilty.

He didn’t regret fighting Radon, but he didn’t want to make Chidori look like this.

“Well … I don’t think it’s a line I have the right to say, but don’t overdo it. It’s the most important thing for me that Chidori is doing well. If I bother Chidori anymore, I will be called by the junior of the Kendo club again…”

Remembering that time, Tsugumi chuckled. It was around July of this year – sometime before Tsugumi met Bell.

When the junior in her club found out that Chidori had been taking care of Tsugumi more than necessary, she said, “Please don’t bother Senpai!” He went to the back of the school building and was asked for a direct answer. Mebuki suddenly appeared then, laughing and putting the matter behind them, but the damage was done. He wanted her to give him back his pure heart, he thought she was going to confess.

When Tsugumi said so, Chidori blushed and sharpened her mouth.

“I already told them properly. …And I don’t think you’re bothering me.”

“I can do a whole bunch of stuff too, so you don’t have to worry that much, okay? If Chidori is busy, just assign the household chores to me.”

“I’m fine with the way things are now. Because club activities are what I like to do, it would be unfair to rely on Tsugumi for that, wouldn’t it?”

“Is that how it’s supposed to be? If Chidori likes it, that’s fine.”

Somehow he was not convinced, but Tsugumi nodded his head reluctantly. If Chidori said it like that, there was nothing he could do about it.

After talking for a while, Chidori left the hospital room with a regretful look on her face. He exhaled as he saw off her back.

–From the looks of it, it was possible that Chidori didn’t care much about the change in Tsugumi, or perhaps didn’t even notice it. Even Tsugumi would not have noticed if Mebuki hadn’t told him. In fact, it was possible that he had to see it as a change from the beginning to be able to recognize it.

With that in mind, Tsugumi called out to the owner of the presence he had sensed earlier.

“What do you think, Bell-sama?”

“What, you’ve noticed?”

“Well, sort of.”

Ever since waking up in the hospital, he felt like his senses had become somewhat more acute. Sometimes he felt a kind of presence, even though no one was supposed to be there. It was a little scary when he thought about it, since this was a hospital.

Tsugumi gently stroked his face and asked Bell with a somber look on his face.

“You know, what kind of condition is my body in right now?”

–The damage to the body was on the mend. But the fundamental problem had not yet been solved. It was still okay to get hurt in a fight. He was prepared for that. But this one was a different story.

…Maybe it would slowly turn into a woman’s body. If this was the aftereffect, it would be more damaging to Tsugumi than anything else. When he thought so, he felt a different kind of horror from fighting the Demonic Beast.

“When I broke the barrier, the injuries from the Radon fight healed without a problem. You fell because your body could not endure the rapid healing, and the injuries to your soul were reflected in the time delay. It was a minor injury, though.”

“What about now?”

“That’s what we’re about to find out. –You know as well as I do that I can’t allow you to do it that way again. This time, for some reason, you got off with a minor injury, but the next time, it will surely result in death. And in a miserable way.”

“…I’ll keep that in mind.”

Bell stared at Tsugumi and let out a sigh. It seemed that she was still suspicious. Even Tsugumi wouldn’t want to do something like that again, if possible.

After a few moments of silent exchange, Bell sniffed in frustration. It seemed that she had given up on the idea of pursuing the matter any further.

She came softly in front of him and pulled out of the void something that looked like an opera-glass with jewels scattered all over it.

“This is a tool to see the shape of the soul, which I borrowed] from a certain God. Through this tool, I will be able to tell roughly what state you are in.”

Bell then looked at Tsugumi through the pitch-black lenses of the opera glasses. A strange sensation passes through his body. It was as if a sensitive spot on his skin was tickled.

With a difficult look on her face, Bell grimly opened her mouth.

“Hmm… Let me get this straight. Your soul is definitely missing. It will never be the same –But there is something covering your soul that more than makes up for it. This is a phenomenon that is not inherently human. …Did you receive some kind of blessing without my knowledge?”

Bell said With a terribly complicated look on her face. Apparently, she didn’t like the fact that Tsugumi was being interfered with by some entity.

But he had no idea what it was, even if it was called a blessing.

“…That girl.”

“Does that ring a bell?”

“I don’t know if it rings a bell or if it’s just a dream I had–“

Then Tsugumi began to tell her about a dream he had before he collapsed. When Bell finished listening to him, she folded her hands in thought.

“I see. I see. That dream is probably not unrelated to what happened this time. You have the aptitude of a Miko. It’s not surprising that you can do something similar to dream walking. –And that something that surrounds you now… It has a strong Qi. Originally, the Yin and Yang are for women. The body is basically restored according to the soul, which is probably the reason why your face has become a little more feminine.”

“In other words, is my missing soul being supplemented by the girl’s soul? And to the extent that I was compensated, my body was healed as a woman. …Well, why would I be like that?”

“Why would I know?”

“That’s right…”

Tsugumi grunted in pain as he held his throbbing head. It was about himself but he had no idea what was going on. What the hell is that girl anyway?

As far as the soul traits were concerned, it seemed as if that something had no definite intention. Even if the erosion progressed, he guessed he didn’t have to worry about it taking over his personality.

“…Do I even have to worry about that? Give me a break.”

“But from the looks of things, it doesn’t seem like this thing has attached itself to you in the recent past. It’s been a few years, no, it’s been ten years. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have become so attached so quickly. That’s why I’ve been able to spend time here without much rejection.”

“Ten years, huh?”

As he muttered this, Tsugumi touched his left eye, which still felt slightly strange. At the time of the battle with Radon, his left eye had reflected a mysterious object. The roaring, burning red threads that entwined Radon’s entire body… When he moved his fingers as if tracing the thread, Radon was too easily sliced in a circle.

The sight reminded him of the catastrophe from ten years ago. He had been aware of it, but his lost past might be a terrible story.

“I guess it’s time to face it.”

He muttered in a small voice. –Someone’s voice in his head said, “You’ll be happier if you just forget about it.” But he couldn’t keep running away.

–First of all, let’s move one step forward.

Tsugumi turned to Bell and clenched his fists as if he had made up his mind.

“By the way, there’s something I’ve always wanted to ask to Bell-sama.”

“What, say it.”

Bell replied to Tsugumi’s words with such irreverence. Chuckling at her usual attitude, he opened his mouth.

“–Bell-sama’s name… It’s about time you told me. It doesn’t look good if I don’t know my God’s name, does it?”

At the sudden words, Bell blinked with a blank look. Tsugumi laughed at her slightly goofy face.

–He really loved this kind but stubborn, arrogant, and funny god. Tsugumi sincerely thought so from the bottom of his heart.

—Even if the other god who was hiding here, later ridiculed him, saying, “You were like a baby bird that was imprinted at that time”, that feeling would not change.