Hellbound With You (WN)
chapter-840-30041322

"Tell me… Zeres. Was she… was Eris even someone you care about? At all? Did she even mean anything to you? Perhaps more than just a… more than just a comrade?" silent tear slowly fell from the corner of her eyes. Though it was only a single tear track, she could feel how bitter it was as that lone tear traced its way down her cheek. She could not help it then. The tears just came pouring out one after the other. It was as though that one lone tear was the one to unlock the dam holding all the tears back.

She thought that maybe these were Eris's tears. She had been thinking about her the entire time she was drawing that portrait of hers. How did she live the rest of her life after Zeres never came back to her? Was she able to move on? Did she find someone else to settle down with and close that chapter in her life?

His facial muscles worked. The confusion in his eyes now being replaced with something else she could not quite describe. Why was he looking like that?

"Eris was…," he swallowed. His entire body tensed but he took a few deep breaths to compose himself and he somehow managed to relax enough to continue. "Eris was the only witch in my past that I never once forgot. Everyone... I can't even remember their faces anymore. It's funny because Eris never showed me his face. And yet I remember him so clearly as though it was only recently that I had seen him, and not thousands of years in the past that I last saw her." He still could not even consistently address Eris as him or her right now.

There was reminiscence gleaming in his eyes as he continued. "There's only three people whose faces I remember clearly from my past. Alexander, Abigail and… Eris. He had been with me almost every night. We fought vampires together. We watched each other's back. We had tended to each other's wounds, saved each other's…" he trailed off as he was caught up in memories. Remembering those times suddenly was causing his heart to ache. There was that once time when Eris had gotten beaten up really badly until he was even unable to walk. That had happened to her because he was unable to arrive to aid her in time. Because at that time, he was with Alexander and Abigail.

The thought Eris was actually a girl and that she had suffered such a vicious beating… his throat hurt so badly. He remembered when he had reached out to tend to the wound on his chest. He could see that the clothes was ripped by a blade. But she had quickly slapped his hands and scooted away, gripping his clothes over his chest. At that time, Eris had claimed that he was fine and that his grandmother was better at healing before leaving quickly.

He thought that Eris was just angry at him at that time, because he had arrived late. Now he realized the reason must be because he was hiding something. That he was actually a girl. Everything was starting to clear up for him. Thinking back now, there were… too many signs that hinted to her being a girl. That small frame… his naturally sweet scent. He had asked about his scent before, and he had given some excuse saying that attributed it to using his grandmother's homemade soap.

Those times when he was always bringing him food for dinner. Telling him that it was leftovers despite the fact that it obviously looked so well prepared as though specifically made just for him to eat.

It had always made him feel a little frustrated that Eris had never showing him his face. Back then, he thought that Eris just had not trusted him enough yet. Now he realized that the sort of thinking was ridiculous. Eris had proven his trust to him time and time again, even trusting him with her life, but just because he did not show him his face, he thought that Eris did not trust him at all.

He should have realized that there was another reason why Eris was hiding his face. It was a common knowledge that only male witches stayed out at the frontlines. Female witches were not allowed to engage in combat back then. They only fight using spells if they needed to protect their queen.

The real reason behind Eris' hiding of her face would have been obvious had he made more effort to think about it. There were so many signs. How could he have missed all those signs all those years that they had been together as partners? He was such… a big idiot to her. To this only witch who had genuinely cared about him all those times.

"I care about him… her. But I was... nothing but an idiot to her." he choked out, weakly dropping his head right next to hers and burying his forehead on the bed. "I couldn't come back because I was… I actually died in that war…"

Iryz's eyes stretched wide at what she heard.

"She…" his voice cracked, "Eris waited for me in vain, right?" he asked that question as if he had already known that she had.

Iryz's tears fell even harder, and she could not help but put her arms around his back and hugged him. She could feel the man was already broken as he was. She should not continue to break him. She did not need to pile on the guilt and reproach that he was already most probably heaping on himself. He stiffened for a moment when he felt those small and frail arms curling around his back, but he slowly breathed out and relaxed as he allowed his body to press down against hers, hugging her back tightly. Inhaling her natural scent, Zeres felt the stress just leaving his whole body. Somehow, here in her arms, it felt like home.