Hellbound With You (WN)
chapter-867-30041322

"I know that you think I'm weird right now. I don't know how to explain it to you to make myself believable enough. But I just… I just don't want to go anywhere else anymore. I'm… I'm tired… I just want to stay here… to lie down or sit here on your floor… drink your coffee… eat your cookies… I just want to be able to breathe… and sleep…" he dropped his head into her lap and his shoulders sagged as though the weight of the world was placed on his shoulders. "Last night… was the first time I've ever slept that long and peacefully since I woke up from that long slumber. I am not deciding on this out of a whim, if you were wondering. I've never been this sure before of what I want or where I want to be …"

"And the thing you surely want is to stay here?" Iryz asked him.

"Yes." Came his soft but determined reply.

"And you're going to go as far as making an oath, not just any oath but a witch's oath, just for me to let you stay?" Iryz questioned again.

"Yes. If that is what it would take to make you feel at ease, I'll do it."

"Zeres…" she called his name and when he looked up and met her gaze, Iryz breathed out softly. "Do you know that… Eris had always been… in love with you?" she had not planned to let this secret out. She was actually thinking of bringing this fact to the grave with her, never to see the light of day. Who knew that now, she actually had just blurted this secret out to the very person that was involved?

A deafening silence spread across the room. Zeres took a long time to respond. He did not speak. He just shook his head quietly as he dropped his head down. He was honestly clueless. He had no idea of this matter at all.

"She's been in love with you for so long. I believe… ever since the day you had saved her. That was why she had disguised herself as a boy just so she could stay beside you. Be with you… even if it only was as a friend." Iryz paused for a moment. "I can't imagine… no, I don't even want to imagine how she had felt when you never returned after that time. She might never have even found out that you… you died from that war. I felt like she had waited for you faithfully and patiently until her very last breath. I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty… but I just… I know you've probably realized already that I am most likely Eris' reincarnation. We both look exactly the same and… the moment I saw you that day you came here… I've felt something that I couldn't quite explain. It's as though that I've loved you even before I had met you. And when I was shown Eris' memories, I immediately understood why I couldn't fight back my feelings for you at all. Even during those times when you do not even spare me a glance or say my name…"

"I'm so… sorry…" he choked out, totally at a loss on how to respond to her. "I was –"

"No. I'm not asking for an apology, Zeres. I know I can't blame you. There is truly nothing to blame. It's not your fault that you don't feel the same way for me. I know no one can force a heart to love someone. And that is why… that is why I'm being straightforward with you right now. Because I don't think I will be able to handle another lifetime of being left behind by you again no matter what the reason is. If you can't be mine… if you can't love me…" she flashed him a sad smile, "then I'm sorry, but I can't let you stay. Because I know I will only fall even deeper in love with you every passing day. So, forgive me for being selfish and wanting to spare myself from even more heartache…" she looked at him and smiled a little bitterly at her own helplessness.

When he could not formulate any response, Iryz continued. "That condition was… I know, that's really over the top. And I wouldn't want to bind you to me that way at all. So please forget that I even said it." she stood, taking a deep breath once again before she forced out a smile. "I'll go make you a coffee. I think the both of us need a little bit of time to think clearly."

She walked off and had just grabbed onto the door's handle when Zeres suddenly caught her wrist, stopping her from leaving.

"I am…" he started as if struggling to find the right words to say, "I think I can be yours, Iryz. I am willing to give myself to you." he finally said it.

She twirled around and stared at him. Shocked again. He looked dead serious that it was so unbelievable.

Trying her best to gather her scattered wits. She faced him straight on and looked intently into his eyes. "What about your heart, Zeres? Would it also be mine?" she asked in a small voice, frightened to hear his answer but at the same time, dying to know it as well.

He looked helpless as he flashed a small smile at her and placed her palm over his heart. "I don't know if this heart of mine still has any worth… or if it's even still functioning well at all. But if you want it, you can have it too, Iryz." He stepped closer and bent over to rest his forehead on her shoulder. "To be honest, I am just so messed up that I don't even know what to do with myself anymore. All I know is that… I don't want to leave you… this place… and your side. I don't want to go anywhere else anymore. I want to belong here..."

And that was all it took for her defences to crumble. She heard him speak from the bottom of his heart and before she knew it, she reached out and hugged him. Dear gods… she really was hopeless against this beautiful broken creature. Also, she had been itching and dying to hold him in her arms.

"Fine. I'll take it all, Zeres. And just to warn you one last time, I will never return anything back." Her eyes looked into his for a few seconds, giving him the last chance to back out in case he regretted it.

His hold on her tightened instead. "Fine by me, Iryz."