How To Live As A Writer In A Fantasy World
chapter-322

Grand Inquisitor Kate Louise Angelica. Her life can be likened to a train running on well-laid tracks. As a child, her village was attacked by bandits, and she lost her parents, but she was rescued and entrusted to a temple. The temple doubled as an orphanage, and most of the children raised there pursued careers related to the clergy.

This alone would have set her on a certain path, but Kate’s case was different. Like one blessed by Luminous, her divine power was unparalleled compared to others. As seen with Isaac, divine power can be used in various ways, but it is directly related to ‘growth.’

The reason Kate could secure the position of Grand Inquisitor at a young age is because of this. Did anyone harbor dissatisfaction along the way? None. Who would dare hold a grudge against someone directly blessed by Luminous? Instead, the number of people who revered and followed her grew.

There were no issues with her capabilities either. The number of devil worshippers Kate had crushed was countless. Her combat prowess was well known, earning her the title ‘Blue Flame.’

Moreover, she possessed a sharp mind. Devil worshippers, who usually stayed hidden, found themselves dragged out and beaten by Kate herself. Her prowess in both martial and intellectual fields, combined with her devout faith and the temple’s care of her appearance, made her a true embodiment of a well-rounded individual.

However, perhaps due to always running on the tracks laid by the church, Kate had a significant yet seemingly minor flaw. She lacked common sense regarding sexual matters. It wasn’t just pure ignorance, like a child’s innocence, but rather a skewed understanding.

Take, for example, the monthly ‘days.’ Being human, it was natural for her to experience her first menstruation. When she saw the unexpected flow of blood and rushed to the priest in shock, the priest, though flustered, calmly explained.

‘Congratulations, Kate. You have now become an adult.’

‘I’ve… become an adult?’

‘Yes. This blood is just a natural part of becoming an adult. There’s no need to be ashamed or surprised.’

Afterwards, the priest began to teach her about the female body, one step at a time.

She was taught about menstruation, how to manage it, and how to maintain cleanliness. This was all well and good, but the next question Kate asked was quite awkward.

‘Can I have a baby too?’

‘Yes, you can.’

‘How are babies born?’

‘…’

The number one most difficult question for any parent to answer: How are babies born?

The priest in charge found it hard to answer but managed to come up with a response.

‘Well… If you receive a man’s seed, you can have a baby. But! This is only possible with a man you love. Understand?’

‘Then what is love?’

‘That’s a difficult question to answer. It’s something you’ll come to understand as you grow. Given that you are blessed by Luminous, when you find someone you love, he will be happy for you too.’

That was the end of the education. The priest believed that Kate would naturally come to understand these things over time.

This turned out to be a misjudgment that might have never been realized. The church treated her not as a ‘person’ but as a devout ‘follower’ of Luminous.

Moreover, Kate herself, realizing she was blessed by Luminous, intensified her devotion. Her almost obsessive faith was dangerous in many ways, but considering that the Luminous church had once caused a significant incident, they were careful to exercise restraint.

Due to this precarious balancing act, even Luminous couldn’t directly confront her. As a result, she ascended to the position of Cardinal at a young age, becoming a ‘clergy’ figure perfected in martial prowess.

The church was entirely unaware of Kate’s lack of common sense. Blessed by Luminous, she was an object of admiration and reverence, occupying an untouchable position. Who would dare to correct her?

Sometimes, people were captivated by her beauty and background, but Kate always politely declined their advances with a smile. Her body and soul were entirely devoted to Luminous, and she firmly believed that serving him was serving herself.

Therefore, some priests, unable to contain their curiosity, asked her:

‘Cardinal Kate, do you plan to marry?’

‘I will marry the man chosen by Lord Luminous.’

‘…Is there such a person?’

Yes, there was. It was the young man Isaac Ducker Michelle, the author of Xenon’s Biography. At first, Kate was uncertain, but as time went on, she became convinced. This man was the one chosen by Luminous, the single beam of light to save the world and purify it.

So she directly approached Isaac and asked him to give her his seed, but for some reason, Isaac steadfastly refused. This left her puzzled. Countless men had courted her, so why was he refusing? Did he not like her?

But judging by his reactions, it wasn’t that he disliked her. He simply seemed burdened and found her request odd. As time passed and Xenon’s Biography continued to shine brighter, Kate’s desire grew stronger.

Just as he spread light everywhere, she also wanted to receive his light. Noting that there were already women who seemed to have received his light, Kate waited quietly.

It was similar to a ‘baptism’ bestowed by Luminous. So, she decided to receive it with a devout heart, ensuring that her body remained pure as she awaited the day she would receive his seed. That was her plan.

Until she read the newly published Xenon’s Biography, Kate had never consciously acknowledged her own ‘desires.’ The first night when the main and supporting characters confirm their feelings and truly become one. Kate, being of legal age, was able to read volume 24.5.

‘I harbored desires towards Lord Isaac that I should not have.’

And she realized it too late. Volume 24.5, with its explicit depiction of lovers’ beautiful first night, shattered Kate’s understanding of sexuality. But it wasn’t just the content; it was a particular line that disrupted her deeply held beliefs.

[I want to have your child.]

This was said by Lily as she gently caressed Jin’s face. Jin, hearing those words, turned into a beast and passionately embraced Lily. The desire to have a child. That line echoed in Kate’s mind.

For a woman to have a child, a man’s seed is absolutely necessary. But why did men and women embrace each other naked for this? And why did reading this make her think of Isaac’s face? Could this really be the process of receiving the seed?

Volume 24.5 was a major stimulus and a thrilling experience for Kate, who had always led a bland and simple life. Like an innocent child ignorant of sex, she knew she shouldn’t be reading it, but she read every word thoroughly…

And for the first time in her life, she pleasured herself. She had no idea what it meant, only that it happened.

The ‘instinct’ ingrained in her genes had awakened.

‘While thinking of him, I touched myself like a beast. Even though I knew it was wrong, I couldn’t stop my hands.’

[… …]

‘Will he forgive me? For harboring such impure thoughts? For tainting myself, not by someone else, but by my own actions?’

As a result of this series of events, Kate began her confession. She was utterly devastated.

Even if she didn’t fully understand the acts described in volume 24.5, simply desiring Isaac was a sin to her.

Even though it was supposed to be about a man and a woman sharing love, the desire for ‘pleasure’ was the first thing to emerge. And the target of that pleasure was none other than Isaac, a man she should revere like Luminous, yet she harbored feelings she shouldn’t have.

[… …]

Luminous, understanding Kate’s feelings deeply, found it difficult to respond. Her desires were natural human emotions. Moreover, although she was unaware, she was already deeply infatuated with Isaac. This could be called love.

Although her near-fanatical devotion obscured it, the expression of ‘love’ can be used in various ways. There is the love between parents and children, love between lovers, love between friends, and love between a deity and their followers.

Originally, Kate’s feelings for Isaac were similar to her feelings for Luminous. The key point here is that Luminous is an elusive transcendent being, whereas Isaac is a human. This single difference confused her heart. Volume 24.5 caused her emotions to erupt into the form of desire.

This is also why she felt sinful. She considered truly loving Isaac to be a sin. The church’s misguidance and her unique faith combined to shake her identity.

[Don’t worry, my child. The feelings you harbor are not a sin.]

‘But I…’

[That feeling is ‘love.’ It is the most fragile yet strongest emotion a person can have.]

Therefore, Luminous began to gently explain to the troubled Kate. Her clear eyes blinked in surprise. Such a conversation would have been impossible with another believer, but her recently increased divine power made it possible.

Of course, she couldn’t foresee the future directly like Isaac, but ‘counseling’ was possible.

[Feeling desire for him, wanting to possess him, these are all natural. There’s no need to blame yourself.]

‘This feeling… is love?’

[Yes. You might not have realized it, but you’ve loved Isaac for a long time. Doesn’t your heart race or do you feel happy when you think of his face?]

Listening to Luminous’s kind voice, Kate thought deeply. Indeed, she often felt that way.

When a fake Xenon touched her cheek last time, she thought of Isaac. All she could think about was meeting him and purifying her tainted body. Although she didn’t feel her heart race when they first met, over time, her feelings turned into something akin to fanaticism.

‘This is… love…’

[Yes. So there’s no need to worry too much. It’s an emotion every human will inevitably feel.]

‘Then the act I did last night… Is it not dirty?’

[…]

Luminous was momentarily at a loss for words. Kate was referring to masturbation. Still, since it was a natural act, he managed to respond with some difficulty.

[That’s correct. It’s an act to resolve your desires.]

‘But what if I can’t satisfy my desires no matter how much I do it…?’

[…]

Once again, Luminous was speechless. Even a transcendent being who could glimpse the future couldn’t solve everything. The emotions Kate was experiencing were no different. Ideally, he wanted to explain everything to her, but as he mentioned earlier, he knew the future.

Luminous’s sincere wish was to derive the best outcome from countless possible scenarios. The problem was Kate’s mindset. She felt sinful, but she had no sense of ‘shame’ or ’embarrassment.’

In other words, a misstep here could completely distort her understanding of sex. That was something Luminous desperately needed to avoid.

[…You don’t need to worry about that either.]

So, Luminous silently apologized to Isaac, who was probably at his mansion. The best solution Luminous could offer was…

[The one you love dearly will help you with everything.]

…to pass the problem to Isaac. If Isaac had heard this, he would have definitely screamed, regardless of whether he really was a god or not.

A god without a shred of responsibility, how could he just pass on such a difficult issue? Luminous vividly felt the future unfolding in his mind and gently consoled her.

[Even the most beautiful emotion, love, can turn into an illness if it festers. It’s best to confess your feelings to Isaac.]

‘Should I also confess my desires?’

[You should ask the women around Isaac about that. They will be your great allies. Listen to their advice.]

This was true. Women would generally understand such issues better than men. Moreover, Isaac’s companions were aware of Kate’s ignorance regarding sex. At least, this would prevent the situation from getting more tangled.

‘I see. I understand.’

[Do you feel better now?]

‘I’m not sure yet. I think I need to meet him to know.’

[Remember, you don’t need to feel guilty. You just want to receive his seed, right?]

‘…’

[Hmm?]

Wait, that’s not right. Luminous was momentarily flustered. The future changes in real time, this is a truth he knew even before the Xenon’s Biography incident. But in less than a second, the future had changed. It was a minor change, but significant for Kate.

He called out to her in a slightly anxious tone.

[Child?]

‘Not just… the seed.’

[Hmm?]

Kate slowly raised her head and shyly confessed.

‘Is it okay if it’s not just for the seed?’

[… …]

‘Is it okay to also experience the acts and pleasures described in the scripture?’

It’s okay in the sense that it’s natural for men and women to share pleasure through intimacy. But Kate was different. She wasn’t just focused on the seed, she was also fixated on the pleasure that would come from the act.

The once pure cleric had now awakened to something else entirely.

‘Please answer me, Lord Luminous. Is it acceptable to seek the emotions and pleasures that I can only obtain through him and no one else?’

After much deliberation, Luminous responded in a very strained voice.

[…It is acceptable.]

‘Thank you, Lord Luminous.’

At his answer, Kate’s lips curved into a deep smile. Already, her lower abdomen tingled with anticipation for the day she would receive his seed.

‘Oh, Lord Isaac… please, hurry and…’

[… …]

Luminous witnessed his beloved devotee being overtaken by lust in real-time.

*****

The very next day.

‘Lord Luminous.’

[I’m sorry.]

‘Do you think an apology is enough?’

Isaac, who had just gone through a commotion, came to confront Luminous.

Translators note:

Luminous really just yeeted that hot potato at him lololol