How To Live As A Writer In A Fantasy World
chapter-68

Even in the moment when I realized my status once again, Rina didn’t raise her head. Looking straight ahead, I saw her golden hair pouring down like a waterfall.

It seems like she has no intention of raising her head until I speak. Although I cannot see her face and do not know what expression she is making, she must be nervous.

First, I will accept Rina’s apology. If I don’t accept the apology while the imperial princess bows her head, it will become a problem in itself.

And at the moment when I don’t accept the apology, the emotion that has been crawling up inside me will be expressed. I haven’t been able to accurately understand the nature of this emotion until now, but Rina’s apology allowed me to realize it.

Power

As I was reborn into this world, the thing I despised the most was the unjust power structure, yet ironically, the emotion bubbling up in my heart right now is the desire for power.

In my past life, I was just a writer who enjoyed writing, but now I have become someone who can dominate the world. Moreover, the demon princess and the imperial princess are favoring me while adopting a humble attitude.

Who wouldn’t be swayed by this ambition? I can say with certainty that no one can resist the irresistible force of power, even someone who originally disliked it.

Therefore, if I take one more step forward here, I will be swallowed up by power. However, power always leads people to ruin.

‘I want something other than power…’

I said to Rina, who was waiting for my answer with her head down.

“Please raise your head, Rina.”

“… … “

As I spoke calmly, Rina slowly raised her head to face me, but her expression was very dark, and her once-beautiful features had lost their luster, as if she had gone through all sorts of trials and tribulations.

I didn’t know what to say, so I hesitated for a moment before speaking quietly.

“Since Rina is aware of her own mistakes, there’s nothing to say about that, but… it’s a bit too late, isn’t it?”

“… … “

“If you wanted to apologize, it should have been when you called me and my sister, not now. If you had apologized then, Miss Rina, then I would have felt even a little bit of sincerity in your apology. Otherwise, you should have apologized as soon as volume 10 of Xenon’s Biography was released, or at least before the situation blew up. If you apologize now, I cannot see it in a positive light, no matter what.”

As I spoke slowly and thoughtfully, Rin’s expression grew darker and she seemed uneasy, as if she didn’t think I would accept her apology.

I paused for a moment, clasped my hands together, and took some time to think. I needed to organize my thoughts in my head.

After about a minute had passed, I glanced at my reflection in the coffee cup before opening my mouth.

“To be honest, I never imagined the situation would become so serious. I simply declared a hiatus for my studies. And as you can see from what the author’s note said, I was writing Xenon’s Biography just as a hobby, without any purpose or ideology.”

I had already told this to Marie. Glancing at her, I could see that she was looking at me with a face full of trust.

I almost reached out to her face, but I restrained myself since it would be inappropriate given the situation. Even in this awkward situation, I could feel the gravity of the moment.

“Of course, the fundamental reason for my hiatus was the pressure from Miss Rina and Lord Leort. I really love my family. If my sister had not convinced me at that time, I might have quit writing altogether.”

“Ahh…”

Rina’s response to my sincere story was quite notable. Her already pale face turned blue due to her lack of blood.

That’s the only fortunate thing about this unfortunate situation. It’s because of my own mistakes and greed that things didn’t turn out worse than they did.

As I watched her lips tremble, I couldn’t help but smile inwardly. It’s not that I don’t understand Rina’s perspective. She was born into a much higher position than most people and has lived that way all her life.

She’s probably naturally inclined to the concept of being a superior being. She sees herself as the emperor’s daughter, someone who can act with much greater freedom than others. So, she thought it’s okay to pressure the author of Xenon’s Biography.

I was able to live a life disconnected from authority because of my memories from a past life, but Rina doesn’t have that luxury. Given her education from an early age, it’s understandable that there are certain limitations she has to deal with.

“Um…this is getting a bit long, but I’ll accept your apology for now. The fact that Rina personally apologized means that the situation is serious, and it’s not good for me either. Especially given the public opinion, there’s a lot of criticism towards the Minerva Empire, isn’t there?”

“That’s right. And…”

“Before that, there’s something I want to say. Maybe it’s a request.”

Before Rina could finish her sentence, I cut her off abruptly. It might be rude to the point of being incomprehensible, but I still hold the upper hand.

Rina also knows this, so she couldn’t say anything and just kept her mouth shut. I don’t know what she’s thinking, but from her dark expression, she’s probably just bearing with it for now.

“I told Marie this as well, but I’m just writing Xenon’s Biography as a hobby. I listen to my father’s stories and use them as a basis for the stories I want to write. I don’t know if you’re aware, but when a hobby becomes a job, it’s really not fun anymore. So please…”

“I hope you don’t interfere as much as before. Like when you called people and pressured them as you pleased.”

“…I apologize again for that part.”

As Rina spoke with a gloomy voice and lowered her head, I quickly stopped her. There was no need for a princess or someone like her to lower her head twice. It made me uncomfortable too.

“You don’t have to apologize twice. Once is enough.”

“…Thank you.”

“Just speak freely. And the suggestion I want to make is…”

As I spoke vaguely and glanced around, Rina’s expression tensed up. Sitting next to her, Marie looked at me with an expectant face, wondering what I was going to say.

I could not help but hesitate whether I should really make this suggestion. In this world, there are classes with firm authority based on them.

Therefore, the suggestion I was going to make might damage Rina’s authority. But my desire whispered softly in my heart.

If taking a step forward was too difficult, why not take only half a step? Or why not take a step and immediately withdraw?

So I suggested to Rina.

“Please let me speak freely.”

“…What?”

As Rina made an expression of not understanding, I explained again.

“Please let me call you Rina when I address you, instead of calling you Miss Rina.”

Equality, not power.

I may have a slightly peculiar personality, but I find it more comfortable to treat others on an equal footing rather than belittling them. Conversely, I strongly dislike it when someone blatantly uses their power to oppress me.

Unlike Aira, who was part of our group project and used her power to overtly oppress me, causing the situation to suddenly take a turn for the worse.

When the issue arose, she misunderstood the situation and took a submissive stance, acknowledging my superiority.

However, I dislike uncomfortable relationships. I find it much better to have a comfortable relationship with each other, like Marie.

Some people may wonder why I make such suggestions, but in fact, my suggestion itself is quite dangerous. It could damage Rina’s authority and make her feel bad.

Although the situation has now changed, it could become even more dangerous if Rina holds a grudge against me in the future. That’s why I compromised and made the proposal.

“… …”

Perhaps it was an unexpected proposal. Rina listened to my suggestion and had a bewildered expression. At the same time, she looked at Marie, who was sitting next to me.

I also naturally turned to Marie, but she had a sulky face. I’m not sure why, but she seemed full of complaints.

Did my suggestion not appeal to her? Still, it was clear that she respected my decision by not complaining.

“… Is that all?”

After a brief moment of silence, Rina cautiously asked me in a hesitant voice. It seemed like she couldn’t easily accept it.

I answered by nodding my head without saying a word. Oh, of course, I didn’t forget to say one more thing.

“And Rina, please don’t use honorifics with me and speak casually. It’s uncomfortable.”

“Uh… okay. Is that the only thing?”

“Yes.”

“Why? What do you gain from speaking informally with me?”

She sure talks a lot. I looked at Rina, who spoke with a tone that seemed to imply she couldn’t understand, with a subtle gaze.

It was a face demanding an answer with a crumbling poker face. So I opened my mouth with a smirk.

“There are many benefits. It makes me feel at ease.”

“… …”

“I’ll say it again, but I’m not writing about Xenon’s Biography for any specific purpose. It’s just a hobby. So I don’t really want anything, and as long as the readers enjoy it, that’s enough.”

Did she realize that I was sincere?

“I don’t understand.”

Rina murmured softly with a disoriented face.

I asked her again as if it didn’t matter.

“So will you accept it and talk to me informally?”

That day, I became equal with the princess…

“Hmph.”

My cute girlfriend seemed to be dissatisfied.

Translators note: