Chapter 339: Regrets

“…..”

~An empty house~

Wiping away the lone tear that had fallen, Stardus felt the night breeze on her chest as she tried to calm herself.

Still, her mind couldn’t quite process the fact that the Egostic had left.

No way. He couldn’t have done that…She’d been in denial, but when she’d heard on the news that he’d shut down his site and everything else, she’d gradually begun to accept it as reality.

In fact, she had known the last time she’d seen him on the rooftop, hearing his voice, seeing the look in his eyes, feeling it in her gut that he wasn’t lying and was really leaving.

That he was thinking of today as the last day he would ever see her.

That he would never do this again.

So she threw away the concept she’d been holding onto and tried to grab him.

‘Goodbye…Stardus.’

With those words, he was gone.

…After that, I don’t really remember much. I only know how I got home.

An empty house, by the window, there, alone, leaning against the wall, Stardus shielded her eyes with her arm and thought quietly.

…Yes, this is good.

An S-class villain terrorizing our country has retired, and that’s a good thing, isn’t it? Yes. I mean, how much terrorism has he caused so far? Good is good, haha…

“…..”

While she was thinking about that, she was trying to keep her mind occupied.

Suddenly, she thought to herself.

A life without Egostic.

‘How would that be?’

Well, actually, she’s been a hero even before Egostic appeared.

She was an inexperienced A-class hero who hadn’t yet adjusted to being a hero and she first met him when he threatened to bomb a ship.

At first, I thought he was crazy.

…But I was going through a rough patch at the time.

She had just become a hero, and she didn’t have much recognition, not many people liked her, and she was surviving by sheer willpower.

He was just an annoying villain who used to prank people on the airwaves… nothing more, nothing less.

But when did that change?

He became so big in her mind.

“…..”

Yeah.

It was his airplane bombing.

When she was just making her debut as an A-list hero and realizing that the world doesn’t run on her will alone.

When she realized that there were too many villains in the world, and that her powers alone could only take her so far.

When Egostic crashed the plane she had no confidence anymore.

That this would be the end, since she couldn’t stop it, she gave up but Egostic said quietly to herself.

[No, you can do it.]

[You can do it. Stop the plane from crashing.]

It was foolish of him to tell her to stop it after he crashed it himself.

But,

There was sincerity in his words then as if, of course, she could stop it.

…And it was.

To her, who had never heard anyone believe in her like that before, it had resonated so deeply.

Just like that Stardus had succeeded in stopping the plane from falling from the sky.

And that was probably the first time she really began to be called a hero.

…That’s when the figure of Egostic began to enter her mind.

“…..”

~A dark night~

Stardus leaned back against the window, thinking about Egostic.

As she thought about him, the memories began to rise to the surface of her mind like a flood.

It must have been after that, that the thought of Egostic bothered her.

A suspicion had sprouted that he might not be as bad as she thought.

And that suspicion grew when the masked man who overpowered the terrorist in the hotel seemed to be Egostic.

When the bridge he took down turned out to be the key to stopping the monster’s attack it increased more and more.

Until finally,

‘This time. You owe me.’

~HanEun Group underground laboratory~

The day the monster attacked her from behind, the day Egostic sacrificed himself and was stabbed her in her place, was a turning point.

Her perception of him changed from the inside out.

“…”

Ever since then, she and Egostic had been intertwined.

During the HanEun Group invasion, the Moonlight Gate Incident, the Demon King’s attack.

Every time, in the midst of the most terrible crisis of all, whenever she thought she had no choice but to give up he always came out of nowhere smiling at her with his trademark grin.

“Stardus…”

He always came. Mmm.

-Tsk. Tuduk.

“…It’s raining.”

Just like that, listening to the sound of falling water she muttered, in a small voice.

No matter what, he had come to her.

No matter how mean she was to him, no matter how bad the situation was, no matter how hopeless it seemed. No matter how no one else would help her.

He always, always, always came to her smiling and saying ‘I’m here to help.’

Why didn’t I know?

That it was Egostic who was always there for her.

“Ah…”

And as Stardus thought that suddenly tears began to flow down her cheeks.

In truth, being a hero was not easy.

You never know when the villains will jump out at you, their attacks get stronger and stronger, and there’s no one who can really empathize with you.

It’s a job that requires you to stand alone and take on a constant stream of enemies but she survived because he was there.

Because she knew he was there to help her.

Because she knew he understood her.

She couldn’t imagine life without him.

I can’t imagine a life without him, even when I’m still, I can’t stop thinking about his face, and sometimes I miss hearing his voice. I was always waiting for his next act of terror, and there were many times I missed him.

But he is gone now?

“…No.”

No.

No.

She couldn’t imagine life without him.

He’d always been by her side and never once had she ever thought he would leave.

Late at night, outside her empty house, leaning against the window against the night sky Stardus began to weep, uncontrollably, over and over again.

“Hmph…”

She wiped the tears away with her hand and silently thought to herself.

Why does my heart hurt so much?

All it took was for one villain to say he’d retire.

Why does my heart hurt so much, like it’s being torn apart?

Why does it hurt so much that it brings tears to my eyes?

Why does my heart feel so tight in my chest?

“Egotistic…”

Just like that.

I muttered his name, my voice cracking.

It was then that Stardus realized.

Ah.

I, Egostic.

“Hmph, Egostic… Hmph, hmph, hmph. Hmph…”

To the point where I’m crushed by the fact that I’ll never see him again.

I really, really liked him.

With the moonlight shining through the window Haru sank to the floor, sobbing.

Her eyes were red, and tears were flowing down her cheeks.

Why didn’t I realize it before?

Why didn’t I admit my feelings to him?

Why did I treat him so coldly at the end?

I can’t live without him.

I can’t imagine life without him anymore.

“Ego, hmmm. Egotistic…I’m sorry. I’m sorry…”

She burst into tears and just like that apologized inaudibly.

I’m sorry. I don’t know what it is, but I’m sorry for everything.

Please. Hmph, please…

Where did I go wrong?

How did this happen?

Why did he leave?

He’s done so much for me.

Why didn’t I ever say thank you?

Why was I so ticked off at him just because he was a villain?

Why couldn’t I tell him how I felt first?

It didn’t matter if he was a villain.

It didn’t matter if he was evil.

I just wanted to be by his side.

It’s too late, too late, too late.

Stardus cried that day, and all night. She cried more than she had ever cried before on the day she first recognized love.

For that love was gone.

For it was too late.

“Hmph….Hmph, hmph…”

I like you. I like you. I like you.

I like you. I did it wrong.

Please come back. Huh? Please, hmmm, please, please…

But,

He hasn’t come back in the last half a year, not even once.

***

[The country is in shock as Egostic announces his retirement.]

“No. Why is Korea in shock when a villain retires?”

The night I announced my retirement and meet Stardus for the last time, I stared at the TV and muttered in disbelief.

If the villain retired, they should run a story like, “Finally, he’s retired, everyone, Seoul is safe!” Tsk tsk. The media is the problem.

“…..”

While I’m thinking that, I’m silent.

Next to me, Seo-eun was bending down and weaving something excitedly.

“Next week, we’ll go here, and then we’ll go here with Da-in…”

“No, why is it just you and Da-in? What about us?”

“What? You’re supposed to organize your own things.”

I watched my coworkers bicker in silence.

I quietly stood up, opened my mouth, and said.

“Seo-eun, I’ll go to my room for a minute.”

“What? No, you shouldn’t…”

“Shhh. Seo-Eun, let him go.”

“Chet…”

With that, I bowed my head slightly to thank Soobin for stopping Seo-eun.

I quietly returned to my room, locked the door, and lay down on the bed.

“Hah…”

Finally, my days as a villain are over.

I’ll continue to operate outside under the name of Egostic, but I won’t be terrorizing anyone anymore.

…Suddenly, I’m in a comic book, and I’ve had enough of being a villain.

“…..”

I lay there in bed, covering the light with my hand and muttered quietly to myself.

“So…now.”

No more, no more Stardus.

….

I fell silent, thinking about it.

Stardus gave me purpose when I was stranded on this dying world, lost and disoriented.

Because of her, I could stand up.

Because of her, I have come this far.

And to think that I won’t see her anymore…

“….”

It hurts.

I muttered that, and rubbed my eyes.

Men don’t cry.

…Just a little watery-eyed. That’s okay, right?

Lying on the bed, I sighed and muttered, with a heavy heart.

Stardus,

“…I miss you.”

But it was just words, meaningless words.

*

Late at night a man and a woman, alone, apart from each other, were quietly muttering the other’s name…unaware that they were doing so.

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