I Might Be A Fake Cultivator
chapter-1580

An Lin was ecstatic to have received the power of the Heavenly Mountain God.

However, his energy had been completely depleted, and his body was in an extremely sorry state. He was completely unable to activate any vital energy, and everything around him looked blurry and out of focus.

He felt like he was half-dead.

Thankfully, he could hold onto Xiaolan.

When An Lin felt her soft and warm body and inhaled her familiar scent, he felt like all of the efforts he made was worth it.

“Oi… Where are you rubbing up against?” Xu Xiaolan spoke with a dark expression.

She discovered that An Lin’s head was slowly sliding its way up toward her chest.

Xu Xiaolan almost smashed An Lin into the ground, but after thinking about it, she tucked his head onto her shoulder before letting him off with a menacing glance.

An Lin was extremely tired and was immediately placed into the Blood Soul Jade Coffin by Xu Xiaolan, thereby putting an end to the heavenly experience of being cradled by her.

Xu Xiaolan carried the coffin on her back before surveying the battlefield with a cautious expression.

An Lin suddenly came to a realization.

In the beginning, Xu Xiaolan had overexerted herself from using her mystic techniques, and An Lin had put her in the coffin before going into battle. After that, both of them were severely wounded and carried by the Vermilion Bird Princess. Now, he was the one lying in the coffin while Xu Xiaolan carried him around…

What a beautiful story!

The coffin was the f*cking MVP here!!!

An Lin was led astray by his train of thought before swallowing two immortal pills to recover from his injuries.

As he swallowed his immortal pills, An Lin suddenly discovered that these recent battles had been extremely taxing on his wallet! He had swallowed over ten immortal pills and had just sacrificed an immortal tool.

He had probably spent over ten million spirit stones during this battle alone…

His heart throbbed with pain at this notion. How many days of cooking would he have to do to earn this back?!

If it weren’t for the fact that he had obtained the power of the mountains, he would be throwing up blood!

After all, relative to his net worth, ten million spirit stones was…

Huh? Only one percent?

An Lin faltered slightly before coming to the sudden realization that he still had a billion spirit stones in his storage ring…

His heart instantly ceased to ache!

With this in mind, he swallowed another two immortal pills with an elated expression. He had more than enough money to spare!

Right at this moment, the system suddenly sounded again in his mind.

“Ding Dong!”

An Lin shuddered upon hearing this sound. Surely the system wasn’t going to screw him over now that he was already lying feebly in a coffin like this…

He opened the system interface uneasily.

The Special Missions tab was flashing with light.

“It’s over… I’m screwed…” An Lin was in despair. All special missions assigned by the system were extremely diabolical.

He opened the special mission with an expression of despair, but his eyes abruptly widened at the sight of the contents of the mission!

[Detected that host has cultivated the Earth Lotus Supreme Skill to the ninth stage, now assigning the following special mission:

[Cultivate the Evergreen Technique, the Divine Liquid Creation Technique, the Divine Weapon Origin Energy, and the Wings of True Fire cultivation methods to the ninth stage.

[Time limit: Three years.

[Mission Success: Attain the phenomenal success stage in the body of the War God!

[Mission Failure: Grow a second d*ck.

[Note: This mission cannot be rejected.]

An Lin: “…”

He looked up into the sky with a disconsolate expression.

What the hell did that mean?

Grow a new d*ck?!

An Lin roared with rage as tears streamed down his face. “I choose impotence!!!”

“Waah…” He howled tearfully as he lay in the coffin.

Xu Xiaolan was given a massive fright before turning around to look at An Lin with an astonished expression.

“An Lin, ha… have you gone insane? Why would you choose impotence?” The proud and majestic Divine Phoenix Maiden had tears shimmering in her eyes and an expression that suggested that she had expected better from An Lin.

An Lin almost threw up a mouthful of blood upon hearing this.

It wasn’t like he could ask Xu Xiaolan if she preferred him with two d*cks or if she preferred him being impotent! He would most likely be given a response that she preferred neither of those two!

Let’s break up!

You’re no longer a man!!!

Of course, other responses were possible as well…

However, An Lin didn’t want to be a freak! He would rather be impotent!

Wait… An Lin suddenly came to his senses. He wasn’t guaranteed to fail the mission, so why was he considering his miserable life ahead already?

He couldn’t allow himself to think in such a pessimistic way!

He focused his attention on his cultivation method interface. At the moment, his Evergreen Technique had reached the third stage, his Divine Liquid Creation Technique was still at the first stage, his Divine Weapon Origin Energy was still at the first stage, and his Wings of True Fire was at the second stage… He had to bring all of them up to the ninth stage…

An Lin looked up at the sky and felt like his future was filled with darkness.

How was he supposed to cultivate all four cultivation methods to the ninth stage in three years?

Was the system forcing a f*cking dick upon him?!

It wasn’t just that the process would be difficult. More importantly, the system hadn’t even given him the conditions required to progress his cultivation methods. How was he supposed to do that? An Lin really wanted to let loose a torrent of abuse at the system.

However, all was not lost. The fact that he was able to elevate his Earth Lotus Supreme Skill to the ninth stage meant that there was a shortcut…

However, this was a shortcut with an infernal level difficulty.

Slaying an earth-type Heavenly God allowed him to elevate his earth-type cultivation method to its very pinnacle.

Hence, he could also do the same for the other four elements!

“Four Heavenly Gods…” An Lin almost burst into tears again.

Did the system think that Heavenly Gods grew on trees?

Even with Xiaolan’s help, he had almost died in this battle against the Heavenly Mountain God. Furthermore, he was only able to kill it after the Celestial Thearch had significantly weakened it and Bai Ling had helped him escape from confinement…

He had to kill four more Heavenly Gods in order to complete his mission, which meant that he would have to go through all of that for four more times!

This really was a super infernal level difficulty!

An Lin discovered that the body of the War God missions seemed to have something against his little member.

The first mission was to attain the embryonic stage of the body of the War God, which required the absorption of ten golden Realm Essence Crystals, and the consequence for failure was becoming a eunuch for a hundred years. The second mission was to attain initial success in the body of the War God, which required the absorption of a hundred golden Realm Essence Crystals, and failure would result in him becoming a eunuch for ten thousand years.

As expected, the latest body of the War God mission was still targeting his little member! He had to cultivate all five of his elemental cultivation methods to the ninth stage, and the consequence for mission failure was even more absurd—He was going to have an extra member!!!

An Lin was extremely disconsolate. He had to think of a way to complete this mission as quickly as possible.

He turned toward the intense battle between the Heavenly Metal God and the Ancient Dragon Empress. Wasn’t the Heavenly Metal God metal type? With this in mind, he immediately began to pound on the coffin lid.

“Quick… Help me out of this coffin!

“I can still fight!”

…