I Should Have Just Died
chapter-116

Whatever the relationship between Seidrick and Alyssa, Ophelia’s marriage preparations began. The formal wedding of Ophelia and Kaihan, who have become adults, is just around the corner. Alyssa, who had a lot of experience due to the royal persecution, took over the preparations for the wedding.

It was not because of anyone’s request but because of her own will.

Juliana has been very weak in the past two years.

Would parents with their children at the forefront have been okay?

Juliana was thinning out every day. She is like Alyssa. But even then, she never stopped nagging her daughter-in-law to eat well and be healthy. This is because there has been a lot of progress between Alyssa and Ophelia, and Juliana.

As she gradually began to find stability in her Cambridge life, her heart was decaying in the opposite direction.

‘Is it okay for me to enjoy this?’

It was the result of her ruined inside, not the outside. Alyssa doesn’t know how to take advantage of her at face value. She feels overwhelmed and struggles to get out of it.

It was the people around her that felt sorry and hurt for Alyssa.

No matter how much better life has been for her, it didn’t change the reality that life was hell for her, who couldn’t know it. The only time Alissa got comfortable was when she put everything down and was in Gilbert’s hut, where she could only exist as “Alyssa.”

Neither the princess of Avery nor the mistress of Cambridge; it’s just Lisa.

The number of times she stayed in the garden increased significantly. Alyssa says that once she goes to the garden, she becomes the person she can meet. In contrast, her husband hasn’t even come to her mansion since opening a new business in the capital.

‘I have to divorce and leave this mansion.’

She was thinking of doing it every day. She said that after she became such a “person” rather than a duchess, it may be a little easier to do what she wants. Alyssa no longer wanted to be a burden or a nuisance to Cambridge.

Upon the divorce, she disappears completely.

People who are close may visit Alyssa, so she would stay in a place they can never find.

‘……I should say goodbye to Sid too.’

She didn’t want to show Sid her bad looks. He was Alyssa’s first formal friend. So she had a desire to show Sid only good looks. The existence of the sweet emotion underlying that greed was hard to ignore.

Alyssa was someone who did not deserve that feeling.

Besides, Alyssa is a married woman. Such feelings were rude to Sid too. So Alyssa was trying her best to hide her feelings.

“Ack…”

She wrote something strange because she was thinking about something. Alyssa painted black stripes over Sid’s name left on her manuscript.

“……You must be crazy……”

Ugh. Alyssa, wake up.

You said you shouldn’t show it off?

Alyssa bit her lips tightly. She clearly remembered when this feeling started. It may have been after she came out of the presence of her queen, proclaiming that the queen should never find her again.

That day, the moment she saw Sid waiting for her while walking in the dark.

The sensation that remained was still vivid.

Alyssa bit her lips. Raising her hand, she pressed her eyelids firmly, exhaling a trembling breath.

‘No, Alyssa……’

This venomous feeling was so sweet that it pushed Alyssa mad. Because of this, she was gradually reducing the number of times she visited the garden. It was an emotion that she shouldn’t have in the first place. No matter how neglected she was, Alyssa was a married woman, and Sid…

‘He’s wasted on me. Don’t be greedy.’

She said countless times that it was selfish greed.

Sid seemed indifferent but friendly. Since he waited for Alyssa in the dark, he has become a little sweeter. He prepared a blanket for her and cut her food into small pieces to make it easy to eat no matter what she eats.

If Alyssa were late, he would go to the front of the mansion, and on the day she didn’t come, he would still wait as if it was natural. That was a fact she knew because she secretly watched Sid.

“What to do……”

So when she thinks of Sid, her heart is burning, and her face is hot. Fortunately, she didn’t do this in front of him.

Alyssa covered the manuscript. It seemed that she couldn’t write any more novels today.

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