I Should Have Just Died
chapter-120-30041322

Alyssa broke down.

There are times when she can endure it well. When she was suffocated and pursed her lips like a fish under the water, it was today.

Like a goldfish trapped in a small space called a pond, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get out of it, and every breath she exhaled was condensed on the surface of the water and faded away.

No matter how much Alyssa screams for help, no one seems to hear.

No matter how hard she struggled and swam alone, she couldn’t move forward.

As if stagnant water was pressing on Alyssa’s shoulders.

She could hear Sasha eagerly knocking on the locked door. It’s because she knows that even if she pretends she’s okay, she’s not.

“Madam… sniff… Madaaamm…”

The fact that someone is by her side gives her strength. A solid wall called the door was blocking the two of them, but it seemed like their body temperature was transmitted through it. The sound of footsteps coming and going outside could be heard.

It was expected that not only Sasha but Juliana and Ophelia would be in front of it.

But now, this was something she had to endure alone.

Their shoulders were too weak to lend themselves to her. Ophelia is about to get married, so she can’t afford to care about anyone else, and Juliana is sickly. What about Sasha? She had already followed her, and Alyssa was overly dependent on her already.

Alyssa let out a trembling sigh.

Hell was always lurking around Alyssa, watching over her, flipping its tongue like a snake.

***

It was after the situation had already ended that Seidrick heard of the upheaval at the mansion. Alyssa had ordered the royal family to leave, but he was now worried that she would be okay. Even if she pretends to be strong on the outside, it wasn’t inside her. Alyssa must have been crying alone now. Seidrick urged the coachman.

It was very lamentable that it was a carriage, not a horse, that he rode in his haste. Of all things, it was the carriage standing in front of the office. At his constant urging, the coachman wiped off his sweat and hurried the horse.

“Giddy up! Giddy up!”

Seidrick sat on the carriage with his arms crossed and leaned his back. He closed his eyes slowly as the cool wind ruffled his hair.

It wasn’t even possible to meet Alyssa right now. It was not the Duke of Cambridge and her husband, Seidrick, who could comfort Alyssa, but her friend and quiet gardener, Sid.

He was running his horse to try and console her, yet he was deceiving Alyssa. The contradictory self was disgusting. Seidrick let out a long sigh.

As time went on, the lies that made him shackled his neck. Seidrick ran his tongue across his dry lips.

“Hooo…”

He hopes his lies will be scattered like the passing wind. Seidrick stared at the mansion in which the flickering lights flickered. The guards found the Duke’s carriage and opened the gate, and at that moment.

The carriage passed quickly without missing a beat.

With what kind of status should he face Alyssa?

Seidrick’s fingers trembled softly.

What kind of deception does he have to deceive her so that he can give her a word of comfort? Seidrick jumped out of the stopped carriage. Ophelia, who was standing around the front door, ran out.

“Seidrick!”

Even her face was wet with tears in her repressed voice.

He’s seen it often, so it’s not new anymore. Seidrick asked.

“Alyssa?”

“She’s not leaving the room. She won’t open the door. What should I do……?”

Seidrick’s silent gaze stared at the window. Standing still, he ruffled his head and messed up his outfit. The vest that he was wearing after taking off his jacket, he pulled it down.

He threw off all the valuables that symbolized the nobility and the cravat.

Luckily, the blunt boots he had been wearing while roaming the shipyard were helping him now. Seidrick rubbed his face hard.

“I’ll figure it out. You take care of Mother.”

“Okay, Seidrick.”

Leaving Ophelia behind, Seidrick strode forward. His mind was complicated. There was an intense conflict between the fear of being caught and the need to check whether Alyssa is not dying now.

The previous day, Alyssa voluntarily fell into the lake.

She prayed for death.

Seidrick once again had to rescue her from death. Whatever way it is.

***

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