I Should Have Just Died
chapter-206-30041322

[The more I talked with Seidrick, Ophelia, and Dania, the more afraid I became. I had to come up with answers to questions I had never been given before.

But at the same time, it was fun. It made me think about myself, something I had never considered. I thought finding myself was only possible by leaving.

I thought I had to get to a place where no one could find me.

Because no one will bother me. I needed a place where no one could oppress me or force me. At this rate, I thought I would disappear like a bubble.

But, it wasn’t.

I realized that I could find myself among people.

Among the countless questions, I came to think.

What I liked.

What I would like to do.

And what I don’t want to do.

In fact, if it wasn’t for you, Seidrick, I wouldn’t have known that I ‘I didn’t want to be king.’

I was becoming more and more of who I was.

Seidrick, what do you think of me? Am I a good person? Am I a bad person? Am I righteous?

Now I’m starting to wonder what other people see.

Dania said I grew up a lot. I broke through the shell and came out into the world. I mean, it’s a really good thing.

Maybe Seidrick would be embarrassed and startled.

You might be bothered.

I found out that I tend to ask a lot of questions. Constantly asking and asking about things I didn’t know……

(Dania seems to be a little annoyed too. But, I’m curious.)]

He can’t even imagine the chattering Alyssa.

However, Alyssa, who was silent, was conversing little by little, and Seidrick also realized that she was mixing with people. Ah, come to think of it, she thought Alyssa, who was drunk, was more of a chatter.

“How cute.”

With a small smile, Seidrick quickly turned the letter over.

He couldn’t help but feel impatient even though it was a letter he had read enough to memorize since it arrived.

[I think I can find the answer now.

What I can do, what I like.

It gave me the courage to answer such trivial questions. I’ll have to think a bit more about who I am. Dania says I’m good at my job. She also said I was meticulous and delicate.

And I’m smart….

It’s a compliment, so it’s a bit embarrassing.

I guess Dania just likes me.

Oh, not long ago, Mother, Ophelia and Kaihan visited. It was a really good time. The food was delicious and the music was good.

There has never been a better day than that day since I came to the royal castle. Mother hugged me.

She told me to eat well and sleep well.

I think I’ve heard of someone like that before….

Therefore.

I think it was the first time I had received something that could be called the affection of a parent. It really does. It was a strange feeling. My heart was pounding and I felt like I was going to cry for no reason. Mother’s warmth seemed to melt my heart.

Is that parental love?

Seidrick.

I never imagined myself being a parent.

I had never received affection from my parents, so I never thought that I would have and raise a child. The people of the royal family said that I was too bad and ugly to be the parent of a child.

But, I think I know a little bit now.

I think I can give the love I received.

I’m learning what a family is.

I might be able to be a good parent. What was the first time you had that kind of courage?

Mother still sends people to me every day. They said that if there is something delicious, they want to share it. If she has a good book, she sends it, or if she has a good verse, she sends a note.

Are those things parental love?

I Want to share all kinds of good things.

Seidrick, I’m learning the world through you and your family.

I …. I think I am the happiest person in the world.]

The letter ended there.

Seidrick bit his lip.

“Because of me…”

The saying that she was learning the world because of him, and that she was happy.

It made Seidrick cry.

He’s glad it’s her happiness, not misfortune. He was really happy that it became the world instead of tears.