Illness-san’s old stories continued. What struck me a little was that she didn’t sound like she was reminiscing about the old days, just talking about her past in a very matter-of-fact manner.
However, it wasn’t that she didn’t hold any emotions for it, but instead seemed to be feeling detached from her past.
[Afteeeeeer I became able to fully utilize my own poweeeeeer, the next thing I observeeeeeed was the objective strength of my own poweeeeeer and how to handle it. When I observed many Demoooooons, I realized that my power was quite strooooong, even among Demons. And sooooo, I took reference from the way thooooooose called strong in the Demon Realm used their poweeeeers.]
[The way they used their power?]
[Yeeeeees. In the Demon Realm of that eraaaaa, the way those with immense strength used their poweeeers could be broadly categorized into twoooooo. One was using that power to protect and save otheeeeers, and the other was using that power to destroy and bereave from otheeeeers. Of couuuuuurse, if their traits were to be broken down into finer detaaaaaails, they would likely have maaaaany more ways of lives and various aspirations and motiiiiives. Howeveeeeer, if we divide them into broad categoriiiiiiies, I can say that they were generally one or the otheeeeeeer.]Indeed, when one thinks of how to make use of great power, that would probably be the case. They would either be the ones using power to assault others or using their power to defend others, I guess? In fact, I’ve heard stories that battles occurred almost every day all over the Demon Realm of that time, and it seems like a world where combat abilities were even more crucial than they are now.
It’s said that until Alice made up the rules for the Demon Realm, it was a world that even the battle-crazy Megiddo-san described as “boring”, so it must have been a very bleak era.
[I didn’t have any particularly deep reasooooooon. I wasn’t driven by kindness or compassiooooon. In addition, as I mentioned earlieeeeeer, there wasn’t any dramatic event ooooooor specific trigger that led me to think that waaaaaay. Having simply observed the two ways the strong use their poweeeeeer, I, objectively, thought that usiiiiiing my power to save and protect would be the right waaaaaay. The reason I saved thoooooose that caught my attention as I traveled through the Demon Reaaaaaalm was truly just that.]
[……I think it’s a noble thing to do though……]
[Kuhihi, I suppose sooooo. Since I was often thaaaaaanked, it can be said that I was undoubtedly doing the right thiiiiiing. However, I myself hadn’t felt moved by their gratituuuuude. Back theeeeen, a certain individual even referred to me as “emptyyyyyy”. At that time, I didn’t understand what she meaaaaant, but looking back at that time nooooooow, there are many aspects that now makes sense to meeeeee.]
Here, for the first time, Illness-san looked somewhat nostalgic. Thereupon, she glances at me and smiles.
After a short pause, she resumes her story.[……I didn’t have any desires to do anythiiiiing, nor did I have any wish I’d like to fulfiiiiiiill. That’s whyyyyyy, I simply acted in a way that seemed objectively riiiiiiight, viewing myself as a pawn in this chess gaaaaaame. It may sound good to say that I was overlooking at everythiiiiiiing from above……. but in the eeeeeend, I was probably indifferent not only to my surroundiiiiiiings, but also to myseeeeeelf.]
[That sounds difficult. I don’t understand the thoughts of Illness-san at that time, and if you yourself think that way, I believe that would be the best…… but still, the reason you chose to use your power in a way that saves and protects people…… I think it was because Illness-san held kindness within your heart.]
[Kuhihi, that might be soooooo. Indeeeeeed, looking back now, I may not have realized iiiiiiit, but various emotions may have already harbored within meeeeee.]
I don’t feel that Illness-san, who doesn’t deny my words and was instead agreeing with it, seems empty at least.
The fact that she herself is speaking in a nostalgic manner suggests that it was only back then that she was empty.
[The person who described me as emptyyyyyy also said something like thiiiiiiis: “What you feel is right and what is actually right can be different. If you can find someone who you can devote your true devotion without any worries, you may see a change in you”. I suppose it’s to be expected of heeeeer, it was indeed as she saaaaaaid.]
[Those were good words, weren’t they?]
[Yeeeeees. It seems that what that person said is indeeeeed true. Encountering someone I genuinelyyyyy want to support and be devoted to, and actually putting that into practiiiiiiice may have unintentionally brought about changes within myseeeeeelf. Such changes did make me feel confuseeeeeed, but still, such changeeeeees…… I can’t say I dislike theeeeem.]
The eyes of Illness-san, who was gently smiling as she said this…… looking at me with focus, are filled with warm emotions. Although this may be conceited of me to say this…… I somehow felt like the person she was talking about was me.
<Afterword>
Serious-senpai : [Eh? Wait, isn’t this bad!? I thought Illness was going to take her time before things could actually progress!!!? Heck, this already feels like it’s developing into romance, isn’t it!?]
? ? ? : [Well~~ Alice-chan’s words of wisdom seem to be sinking in. As expected of the Transcendental Beauty, she really is on a different level…… Ahh, by the way, the details of the exchange when Pandemonium mentioned being empty are depicted in the newly written section of the Light Novel.]
Serious-senpai : [No, you focus your interest here instead!]
