Chapter 238 - Because I Think that This Way, We Can Build Up Memories
Due to the happening in the bathroom…… or rather, due to the situation that occurred mostly because of Lunamaria-san, Lilia-san and I were currently in an intensely awkward situation.
Lilia-san didn’t hole up in her room, but she was sitting on the edge of the living room, covering her face with her hands. I didn’t know what to say to her.
I can only imagine what Lilia-san is going through right now…… Lilia-san summoned all her courage to take a mixed bath so that “she can truly become my lover”, but it was all a misunderstanding…… No, she’s probably just too embarrassed to know what to do now that she knows that it’s just false information planted by the root of all evil.
It would have been great if it had ended at that point when she found out at the worst time. Then, if I followed up well, it would have ended with just Lunamaria-san receiving all her anger.However, Lilia-san regretfully fainted there…… and ended up suffering the embarrassment of having me see her completely naked body, a shame that I would want to get into a hole if I find one.
Therefore, the embarrassment of being seen naked outweighed her anger at Lunamaria-san for giving her false information, and she now sat down, covering her face that is so red that it was reaching her ears.
Maybe it would have been easier if she had scolded me for being a pervert or something like that, but Lilia-san also has a firm understanding that it was inevitable for me to see her naked in that situation, and personality-wise, she isn’t the kind of person who would take it out on someone…… And because of that, there’s no place for her emotions to go.
[……U- Ummm…… Lilia-san?]
[!? W- W- W- W- W- What is it!?]
However, this isn’t going to get us anywhere, so I tried starting a conversation with her but…… Lilia-san’s shoulders leaped as if she was a surprised cat, and even though she replied with her trembling voice, she didn’t turn around.
[Errr, ummm…… Even though what I did was unavoidable, I’m really sorry. Thinking about it carefully, there may have been better ways for me to do it…… So, what happened before was my fault.][T- That’s not it! Kaito-san didn’t do anything wrong!!! It was originally I who took Luna’s words…… that I……. that I…… have shown you something immodest……]
Lilia-san still didn’t turn around, but Lilia-san’s shoulders were slightly trembling, and she seemed to be afraid of something.
However, from her atmosphere, it doesn’t seem like she’s afraid of me…… If that’s the case, what is she afraid of……
[……H- Have you come to…… dislike me now?]
[Eh? W- Why did you say that?]
[T- This naive…… pathetic…… no good me……]
[………………]
Hearing those words which sounded fearful, I finally understood what Lilia-san was afraid of.
Lilia-san was extremely afraid of being feared or disliked by people due to the events in the past which can almost be called a trauma.
And with her catastrophically strong sense of responsibility, she perceived that others would hate her because she isn’t good enough.
To Lilia-san, I was the first lover she’d ever had…… You could say that our relationship is deeper than her friends.
And that’s why Lilia-san doesn’t want me to hate her…… That’s why she decided to take this opportunity to take a mixed bath with me, because she properly wanted to be my lover.
Now, she’s afraid that I would become disillusioned, seeing that she easily believes in lies…… And that’s why she’s trembling now.
As soon as I understood Lilia-san’s loveable true feelings, I felt as if my mind was eased, and at the same time, my thoughts became clearer.
After that happened, it became quicker for me to understand what I needed to do, and immediately act on it. So, slowly approaching Lilia-san…… I hug her crouching body from behind.
[Hyaaahhh!? K- K- K- Kaito-san!? W- W- What in the world a- a- are you……]
[……That’s my line. What in the world are you talking about…… It’s not like I’m going to hate you for something like this, Lilia-san.]
[……Eh?]
Yes, I think what I can do for Lilia-san right now is to reassure her above all else.
I’m still not really sure what people should do when they become lovers…… but still, I think I have enough ability to hug my trembling lover’s body.
[Lilia-san has been thinking a lot of things for me, and you even gathered courage to do this…… I would obviously be really happy. However, you don’t have to be that impatient……]
[……Kaito…… -san?]
When it comes to love, Lilia-san isn’t that knowledgeable, and even I can see that…… Normally, we have to take it more slowly, step by step, removing the walls within our hearts one by one…… However, she rushed it out of impatience and fear, and she made a slight mistake.
That’s why, what Lilia-san needs now is certainty and security…… And this is the best I can do for her right now.
[……I’m not going to go anywhere…… I’m also not rushing you. I’ll wait as long as I can…… So it’s fine, let’s take it one step at a time.]
[……………….]
[I don’t really know what this world’s lovers are like either…… However, I think we got our own pace.]
[……Yes.]
As I continued to speak as gently and calmly as I could, Lilia-san’s body gradually eased up.
[Lilia-san doesn’t have to carry everything and force yourself to overdo things…… We’re lovers, so let’s think about things together, discuss it with each other, and move forward side by side.]
[……Kaito-san.]
[It’s fine if we move in our own pace…… One by one, let’s build up memories…… One step at a time, bringing us closer to each other. Okay?]
[……Yes.]
With those words, Lilia-san let go of the hands that were holding her face…… and gently lays it on my hands, which are reaching out from behind her.
[……Kaito-san, is this really alright? I’m a coward, so it’s going to take me lots of time, you know? You’ll probably have to wait a lot, you know?]
[Of course, it’s alright…… That’s what makes Lilia-san Lilia-san. That’s why I fell in love with you…… Waiting isn’t bothering me one bit.]
When Lilia-san confirmingly asks me, I gently….. and yet, forcefully and clearly answered.
Thereupon, Lilia-san’s hands that were gripping mine became a little stronger, and after a bit of silence, she mumbles a few words to herself.
[……I’m a really lucky person, aren’t I?]
[You think so?]
[Yes…… That’s because I had a wonderful man telling this me who doesn’t have any confidence, that I didn’t need to rush and that he would wait as long as I wanted to…… I’m really lucky to have such a man as my lover……]
[……Lilia-san.]
She sounded really happy, that even I, who was listening to her, felt warm and happy.
Then, Lilia-san intertwined her fingers in my hand and held it…… just like how lovers hold hands, and continued speaking with straightforward affection held in her voice.
[……I’m sure it will take me some time. However, I will also do my best…… to be able to say with pride that I’m Kaito-san’s lover……]
[Yes. I feel the same way.]
[Thank you…… One day, when I finally have confidence in myself…… When I get brave enough to stand by Kaito-san’s side…… At that time…… will you please receive…… my everything?]
[Yes. Gladly.]
Dear Mom, Dad——— The adversity passed, and our foundations began strengthening…… It may be a little different from the first time, but thanks to the happening, I think I was able to get to know Lilia-san one more time. There’s a lot of things that both of us need to learn, and I feel like it’s hard to keep pace with each other, but I’m sure we’ll be fine…… We’re going to continue to do this in our own way, at our own pace——– because I think that this way, we can build up memories.
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