I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell
chapter-135

Eschatologist VII

I had witnessed the deaths of many comrades. I protected their deaths and watched over them. This was one of the reasons I was given the name "Undertaker."

Looking back now, the death of the Sword Star, Emit Schopenhauer, always happened too quickly, too easily.

-Old man! Watch out for the tentacle!

-Huh?

Old Man Scho fought on the front lines like a true dealer. Thus, he had to die earlier than a supporter like me.

If someone were to request a painting titled "The Death of Old Man Scho" from me, I would capture one of two scenes.

The first would be of him being turned into KFC chicken pieces by the tentacles of the Ten Clans. The second would be of him collapsing headless like a Dullahan in the old Baekje Hospital café.

Either way, his death began too swiftly and ended too abruptly.

Old Man Scho's end never allowed him the leisure to leave a final word.

Even when we agreed to end a cycle mutually, it was the same. Those deaths were not 'Game Over,' but just hitting the 'Continue' button, so there was no reason to leave any last words.

Thus, this was the first time I truly witnessed my friend's end.

“...Adele...”

Plop. Splatter.

Emit Schopenhauer crawled. He crawled towards Go Yuri, bleeding black ink-like blood through his broken nails.

“......”

Seeing my old comrade in such a state, my grip on the sword wavered.

Should I behead him immediately to preserve his last shred of dignity? Or should I allow him to see Adele’s face, even in a hallucination, as he closed his eyes?

Click, clack. My sword wobbled somewhere between drawing and sheathing.

At each short step, one side held reality's dignity, while the other held the happiness of dreams.

“Shh.”

Go Yuri’s whisper was faster than my sword.

“Leave it to me, guild leader.”

“......”

Go Yuri placed a finger to her lips with one eye closed, smiling softly.

There was a time I genuinely liked that smile. Now, I couldn’t trust Go Yuri.

Still, at that moment, I let go of my sword.

Was it because I had spent a week with Go Yuri and had been subtly brainwashed?

Or was it because, as Undertaker, I instinctively felt that Go Yuri was the right person to give Old Man Scho a proper funeral?

In my silent gaze, Old Man Scho crawled.

“Adele... Adele...”

Finally, his mangled nails touched Go Yuri’s foot.

Splurt. The black blood he spilled like ink stained her shoes. The thick, viscous blood ran down her loafers.

“Yes.”

Go Yuri crouched down. With her gloved hands, she gently held Old Man Scho's worn-out hand, covered in black.

“Emit.”

“......”

Old Man Scho looked up with a blank expression. Go Yuri smiled softly.

“You’ve worked hard, Emit.”

“......”

“My, you look so tired. Where have you been running around like this?”

“...,...”

“Yes. You sometimes get fixated on the strangest things and never listen to others. I always worry about you.”

“......”

“Are you okay? You mustn’t overdo it. You should always think about your health.”

Only “Ah-” and “Hrr-” sounds came from Old Man Scho’s mouth.

Thinking about it, few regressors had such a pitiful fate.

His wife was a scholar. She was invited to an academic conference at a university in Korea. Old Man Scho traveled with her to this distant, unfamiliar land.

He had no particular interest in this place. Korea was just a gray zone he had never thought about.

It was merely a place to enjoy a light overseas trip with his wife.

Now, having lost his wife, what meaning could this land hold for Emit Schopenhauer?

I found it hard to imagine the sorrow of those who lose loved ones in a foreign land.

For Emit Schopenhauer, the only path left was to search for his beloved wife.

Their reunion could only happen in two ways. A brief phone call of just a few seconds, or an illusion in the void of this unconscious world.

“......”

“Yes, you.”

Go Yuri knelt and gently embraced Old Man Scho.

“I love you too.”

“......”

With a final sigh, Old Man Scho's body collapsed.

His flesh turned into a black liquid, and the liquid soon scattered as charcoal dust. It seemed there was a lot to turn into dust in his body, as the black ash spread across the ruins of the city.

Go Yuri knelt, holding the ashes in her embrace.

This was how Go Yuri conducted a funeral for a human.

I moved my lips.

“...Was the old man smiling at the end?”

“......”

Go Yuri stood up with a light grunt and dusted off the ash that had covered her body.

The scattering ash made 'Cough, cough' and 'Achoo' sounds. Go Yuri laughed awkwardly.

“Well, maybe he was having a happy dream. Guild leader, which would you prefer?”

“Prefer?”

“Would you like him to have smiled in my arms? Or would you prefer he regained his senses at the very end, rejecting the false comfort?”

“......”

I had to remain silent.

Go Yuri watched me for a while. Her curved smile seemed to observe my heartbeat, not my face.

I hoped she couldn’t hear my heartbeat. It was a reasonably realistic expectation.

Boom.

Just then, the ruins of the city roared, swallowing all surrounding sounds and echoes.

Go Yuri looked up at the sky.

“Ah, this place’s bad ending is over.”

She put her hands behind her back.

“Really, I can finally breathe a bit. Thank you, guild leader. Thanks to you, I feel a bit more at ease.”

“...What do you mean?”

“Haha. Recently, there have been too many powerful nightmares here. If not for you defeating Cheon Yo-hwa and the Puppeteer, I wouldn’t have been able to handle it.”

“That’s strange.”

I frowned.

“To Yo-hwa and Ha-yul, you probably appeared as me. Shouldn’t that have made it easier to control them?”

“They said there couldn’t be two guild leaders, so they left the doll and tried to kill me.”

“......”

“Well.”

Clap. Go Yuri clapped her hands.

Then we were back in the waiting room of Busan Station.

This was evidence that Go Yuri had taken control of this unconscious world.

“Now you can leave anytime. Before, I didn’t have enough power to help you. When you sleep here and wake up, it will be reality.”

“......”

“Lie down here, guild leader.”

Tap, tap.

Go Yuri playfully patted her thighs as she sat on the bench, seemingly ready to offer another lap pillow.

“Hmm.”

Returning to reality was good news.

It meant I had somewhat cleared this vast void, called 'Dream within a Dream,' 'World After the Bad Ending,' and 'Parallel World.'

But Go Yuri's words were problematic.

If she intended to cooperate from the beginning, why did she get rid of the 264 Tutorial Fairies?

Was it to ensure I would rely on her and use my hands to clear the 'Bad Endings'? Did she eliminate the Baku as a variable in advance?

Most importantly...

“You. You’re not just an illusion.”

“Hmm?”

“A week ago, you introduced yourself as nothing more than a manifestation of my fears and aversions, separate from the real Go Yuri.”

Indeed.

This was what Go Yuri had said.

-Wouldn't it be accurate to say I am a manifestation of your fears and aversions, guild leader?

-Of course, it's sad that your unconscious fears took my form.

But just now, she had confessed.

“Then how did you almost get killed by Yo-hwa and Ha-yul? Before I entered this place, my fears wouldn't have been materialized, and you wouldn't have existed.”

“......”

Go Yuri’s lips emitted a humming sound.

After a while, she smiled.

“That’s strange.”

She smiled as if in a bind.

“Guild leader, your 'memory' is very, very strong, isn't it?”

“......”

“You don’t just have a good memory. Ah. Well, then many things make sense.”

“You.”

“I’m always here, guild leader. For thousands of years, and for thousands more.”

Step.

Go Yuri approached.

“You helped me, so I will help you. Because you lived so diligently, too many sediments have accumulated here.”

“Sediments.”

“Yes. Think about it. You wouldn’t have encountered the 'Logout Game' or met your end there if it weren’t for those sediments.”

“......”

“But you ended up witnessing it. The nightmare that should have ended with the Ten Legs continued to increase as you kept moving forward. Countless apocalyptic forms have piled up. Ah.”

Of course, she said.

“I’m not blaming you. I’m just pointing out that the nightmares you witnessed keep piling up in your unconscious.”

“......”

“When you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you. Isn’t that your favorite quote, guild leader? Yes. You’ve nurtured such a void in your heart.”

Step.

Go Yuri drew closer.

“So—sometimes, I think it would be good for you to come down here and clean up periodically.”

“Clean up.”

“Yes. Like cleaning a house. When you return, I will sometimes come out to greet you.”

“Are you saying you are my collaborator?”

“Of course, guild leader. I am, after all, your guild member.”

“Then you can fulfill my request.”

I said.

“Yuri, please disappear from my dreams. That would be much better for my mental health.”

“Haha.”

Go Yuri reached out. Her palm gently covered my eyes.

Warm darkness.

“I’m sorry, but that’s not possible, guild leader.”

A whisper scented with apples brushed against my nose.

“Because we are already one.”

Everything faded to black.

There are epilogues.

The first epilogue.

Afterward, I returned to reality safely as Go Yuri promised.

However, the Tutorial Fairies that should have been around my bed were nowhere to be seen. For some reason, they were back at the casino, working normally.

It was truly baffling. When I asked if they weren’t in the middle of performing a ritual to bring me into the unconscious world, they replied.

“Huh?”

Fairy number 264, whose head should have been chopped off in the dream, tilted her head innocently.

“What are you talking about, Secretary? We can show humans the dreams they desire, but we don’t have the power to take you to such a scary place.”

“......”

“Dreams are meant to be enjoyed, not explored like ruins! We have never received such an order from you, and even if we had, it would have been impossible to fulfill it!”

The fairy giggled.

Maybe it was just my imagination, but it felt like there was a hint of apple scent in the air.

The second epilogue.

Regardless of the fairies’ stories, it was certain that I had somewhat conquered the 'Dream within a Dream,' 'World After the Bad Ending,' and 'Parallel World.'

The effects of my conquest began to show from the very next day.

First, there were testimonies on SG Net.

-Anonymous: Had an amazing sleep last night, thumbs up if you did too lol

└Anonymous: You too?? I've been having nightmares since I came back from the void, but last night I slept like a baby, no joke.

└LiteraryGirl: ? Me too, weird.

-[Yuldoguk] SwordMarquis: For arduous training, healthy sleep is essential. Last night, I also slept properly to glimpse the realm of nothingness.

-[National Road] Officer: Habits while awake carry over to sleeping habits. Those who suffer from insomnia should look back at their daily routines and fix any issues.

-Anonymous: I don’t care about anything else; I just wish I could sleep like last night every night.

Similar phenomena must have occurred abroad as well.

As I always emphasize, mental health is crucial for humans, and healthy sleep is a significant aspect of it.

In that sense, I, the Undertaker, might as well celebrate for contributing a little to the mental health of all humanity.

“Good morning, guild leader.”

“Good morning, my ass. It’s a shitty morning. Thanks to someone, I only got three hours of sleep. But you seem very happy...?”

“Oh.”

...I suddenly realized I hadn’t conquered the bad ending of the person most in need of sleep health.

Next time, I should look for Noh Do-hwa’s appearance in the unconscious world first.

The third epilogue.

This last epilogue is not something that actually happened in reality. It’s just a scene I, the Undertaker, saw in a dream.

But there are those dreams, aren’t there?

Dreams so vivid that it’s hard to distinguish them from reality when you look back on them later.

In that dream, I was dreaming of Old Man Scho.

As dreams often go, the perspective was unclear.

Sometimes, I observed Old Man Scho from a third-person perspective.

Sometimes, I possessed him, enjoying a first-person protagonist view.

And beside Emit Schopenhauer, there was Adele.

-......

-......

We spent a delightful day together.

Adele liked to walk, and I liked walking with Adele.

-I know a good path for a walk.

-Really? How?

-Well, just follow me.

I revealed hidden walking routes to Adele, who knew nothing about Korean geography.

Throughout my regressions, I had occasionally found good walking paths for times like this. In Seoul, Sejong, and Busan, I showed my wife the paths I had noted.

Adele was delighted as if she had received a surprise gift.

-You have such good taste!

Hearing that made all the effort of researching worthwhile.

As the day was ending.

We were sitting on a bench together when, suddenly, I saw a familiar face in the distance, beyond the blue hydrangeas and cypress trees.

My friend. The Undertaker was standing against a tree.

‘Ah.’

At that moment, I realized.

This sunset-tinged landscape was a dream.

‘Yes. I wanted to see my wife before I died.’

I wanted to grow old with you.

I wanted to live with you.

I wanted to die with you, but.

I couldn’t.

-Emit?

-......

I held her hand tightly.

In the remaining time, I murmured to Adele.

-Hey. I had a tough day.

-Hmm?

-It was really hard after we parted.

Adele was startled.

She asked if I was okay.

I looked at her face. As long as possible. As deeply as possible.

-Yeah. But it’s okay.

I was glad to have survived until now.

For the first time, I thought it was fortunate to have survived so diligently. It might have been closer to escape than survival. Yet, it was good I didn’t disappear forever.

Because it allowed this moment.

-Because I’m with you, everything is okay.

I said.

-I love you.

And there, my dream ended.

It was just a dream, but I had to sit on my bed for a while.

Was that dream just a fantasy entirely created in my mind?

Or did I momentarily connect with a scene Old Man Scho had really dreamed of, thanks to the unconscious world's pathways?

Or... perhaps, was that the illusion Go Yuri showed the 'Sword Demon' as she embraced him for the last time?

‘Which would you prefer, guild leader?’

Go Yuri’s voice echoed in my mind.

‘Would you prefer he smiled in my arms?’

‘Or would you prefer he regained his senses at the very end, rejecting the false comfort?’

I smiled wryly.

Indeed. Even if Old Man Scho fell into being an anomaly, I wished his end to be peaceful.

If that dream was truly the vision Go Yuri showed, I would have to acknowledge this one thing.

That a demise in Go Yuri’s embrace was the coziest end the world could offer.

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