I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell
chapter-167

◈ I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

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The Traveler II

As I looked at them, they looked back at me.

The ‘Undertaker’ sitting in the emergency exit row, legs crossed, gave me a crooked look.

- Welcome, Undertaker.

- I don’t know which world’s Undertaker you are, but it seems there are 107 of us.

- Including our companions, that makes 214.

Murmurs spread through the plane.

Hundreds of Undertakers added their comments or sneered. The plane became noisy in an instant.

- If you’re all actually people, I guess using ‘107’ as a unit is fine. But what if all of you, except me, are anomalies?

- Oh, a smart ‘me.’ I was just thinking the same thing. Would you like to volunteer as the first to be exterminated?

My head started spinning.

“Wait. Instead of murmuring among yourselves, explain this to me. What kind of anomaly is this? A doppelgänger? But the doppelgänger is in Cheon Yo-hwa’s Poké Ball right now.”

- Explain? If what’s inside your skull is a bird brain, count the numbers, idiot.

The ‘Undertakers’ sighed, shrugged, or crunched in-flight peanuts.

- You’re the 107th ‘me.’

- Got it? 107th. We’ve explained this to every new arrival, so we’ve repeated the explanation dozens of times. No matter how entertaining each cycle is, repeating the same explanation isn’t enjoyable.

- No choice. I’ll explain this time.

Another Undertaker stood up.

Interestingly, this one wore a Sherlock Holmes hat, perhaps imagining himself born on Baker Street in London.

Even though we were the same Undertaker, the details varied. Some even cosplayed with their companions in animal costumes.

What’s up with that?

- Each of us decided to travel with Dang Seo-rin for different reasons. You’re the 107th. Where are you planning to go?

“…Uyuni Salt Flats.”

- Oh. I see.

Sighs came from all around. Sherlock 106 looked at us with deep sympathy.

- Ha-yul lost her heart there once.

- In your world, did Ha-yul die in the 110th cycle? How incompetent. I saved her.

- Isn’t that place where Inca and Aztec myths combined into a horrifying hybrid?

- It’s where humanity first developed a perpetual motion machine. It automatically recharges with solar energy if you offer a human heart.

“......”

Dang Seo-rin squeezed my hand tightly. Her palm felt hotter than usual.

“…Undertaker, what are they talking about? Cycles? Traveling with Ha-yul?”

- Silly. All of us, including your Undertaker, are regressors. You, the 107th ‘me.’

The Dang Seo-rin in the front row spoke.

This Dang Seo-rin wore a school uniform, not her usual witch hat and robe.

A school uniform? Wasn’t that the exclusive uniform of Baekhwa Girls’ High?

Of course, the original Dang Seo-rin (107th) didn’t like that outfit.

She looked at the uniformed Dang Seo-rin as if she were a North Korean soldier at a South Korean military parade.

“What about you?”

- I’m Dang Seo-rin. And a polite person trying to kindly explain the situation to someone wearing a ridiculous outfit.

The uniformed Dang Seo-rin smiled.

- Undertaker is a regressor. He’s been through hundreds of cycles. If you’re also ‘me,’ you might have suspected it.

“......”

- Next, you’ll ask the Undertaker if it’s true. Understandable, but consider our perspective. I’ve watched that scene 100 times already.

Then, an Undertaker sitting in the middle of the plane stood up. This one spoke formally.

- Everyone. One of us must get off here.

“What?”

- Have you all gentlemen and ladies still not been able to figure it out?

The formal-speaking Undertaker smirked.

- With this final Undertaker, the number of people on this plane is confirmed at 214. Exactly matching the death toll of Flight 801 in 1997.[1]

- Ah.

- Indeed.

- You finally realized? Better late than never. If this plane takes off, a disaster is inevitable.

“Oh......”

I was impressed. He was smart.

Annoying, but smart.

He even shushed us with a finger to his lips. It was creepy. Seeing someone with my face doing that gesture made my blood boil.

- My suggestion is this. To avoid a crash, at least one person must get off.

- What.

- We don’t want to get off.

- Sure, some Dang Seo-rins will be disappointed about losing a long-awaited overseas trip, but it’s better than all of us crashing into the Pacific.

Boom!

The formal-speaking Undertaker’s head exploded.

Fortunately, there was no need for a detective; the ‘Delinquent Undertaker’ in the back seat was clearly the culprit, with his aura flaring.

- Sorry.

The Delinquent Undertaker grinned, his scarred face wrinkling.

- His tone was too annoying to bear.

All 106 Undertakers, including me, agreed. It was a justifiable crime.

- If we had time, I’d tell him to open his eyes properly, but this avoids the disaster he mentioned. Have a nice trip…

- What are you saying, murderer!

But the Dang Seo-rin (partner of the formal-speaking Undertaker) had a different view.

- Die!

Watson Dang Seo-rin immediately cast a killing spell.

Thud. The Delinquent Undertaker, hit at point-blank range by an Avada Kedavra, foamed at the mouth and collapsed. Despite his tough appearance, he was weak in combat.

- Kyaaa!

The Gyaru Dang Seo-rin next to him screamed.

- You killed my Undertaker!

- You killed mine first!

- Why me!

Bang! Boom! Pow!

The plane erupted into chaos. Dang Seo-rins sang and cast grand spells everywhere.

Undertakers joined to protect their partners, making it hard to find anything intact on the plane. Despite that, the plane’s fuselage remained undamaged. Clearly, this was a high-level anomaly.

“Undertaker!” My Dang Seo-rin (the Witch Rail Otaku) yelled, the only rational person in this mess. She struggled to open the plane door. “This won’t open! I cast a triple destruction spell, but it won’t budge!”

“It’s better that it doesn’t open, Dang Seo-rin. Look outside.”

“Outside? Why—? Huh.”

The plane was already in the air. It had taken off without any vibrations or acceleration, a prime example of anomaly technology. We weren’t just in the atmosphere, but in space. The moon’s surface was visible right below the plane’s wings.

“This is space?” she asked.

“Yeah. The anomaly confused a plane with a spaceship. They look similar from afar.”

“I didn’t know South America was this dangerous…!”

“Me neither. This is a first for me.”

“Get me out of here!”

“No. Don’t open the windows or doors by mistake. That’s not just space, it’s likely the [Space Void]. The [Explode and Die in Space] anomaly is active.”

“Why are anomalies always like this!”

As we experienced the fantasy of space travel, the others were enjoying a blood-soaked romance.

Blood splattered everywhere. Heads of Undertakers and Dang Seo-rins rolled in the aisle. Surreal, indeed.

- Wait! Everyone, calm down! This is inefficient slaughter. If this is a parallel world anomaly, who knows if combining our powers could save the world…

- Good point, but take off that animal costume first.

- Sorry, it’s part of my essence as the Undertaker.

- Kill that furry!

A brutal variety survival show unfolded.

The 214 people were reduced to 102. Mainly those with excessively ‘abnormal’ appearances were eliminated.

Among the surviving Dang Seo-rins were the school uniform Dang Seo-rin, the stuttering glasses-wearing librarian Dang Seo-rin, the slit-eyed priestess Dang Seo-rin, and the blonde samurai Dang Seo-rin.

It was chaos in every sense.

Even though I was with the witch Dang Seo-rin, I shouldn’t complain. There wasn’t a single normal person here.

I spoke with a heavy heart.

“First… let’s sit and talk. The furry Undertaker was right. We need to unite.”

- Hmm.

- Indeed.

“If we join forces, we can accomplish great things. Forget the old man—we can save the world ourselves.”

- But what if the rest of you are all anomalies? That would be pointless.

“I have a solution for that.” I smiled confidently. “If you’re not an anomaly, the Saintess’s Clairvoyance and Telepathy should work.”

- Oh?

“This is a space void. It looks like space but is probably still over Korea. The Saintess’s telepathy should reveal the real anomalies.”

- Makes sense.

- Excellent idea.

Nodding at their admiration, I looked up at the plane ceiling. “Saintess, are you watching? Please respond.”

[Yes.]

“Good. Please tell me who the fakes are…”

Then it happened.

[Yes.]

[Yes.]

[Yes.]

The Saintess’s voice echoed, overlapping.

“What?”

It didn’t stop there.

[Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.] [Yes.]

[I’m checking now.]

[Hard to tell if anyone is fake. All of them.]

[Responding to my clairvoyance.]

[It’s hard to believe, but all present Undertakers and Dang Seo-rins.]

[Seem real. Unless I’m infected too.]

[Mr. Undertaker?]

[Mr. Undertaker, why no response?]

[Mr. Undertaker?] [Mr. Undertaker?] [Mr. Undertaker?] [Mr. Undertaker?] [Mr. Undertaker?] [Mr. Undertaker?] [Mr. Undertaker?] [Mr. Undertaker?] [Mr. Undertaker?]

“......”

Great.

We were definitely screwed.

‘Wait a second.’

A grim possibility crossed my mind.

If there were 51 Mr. Undertakers and 51 Dang Seo-rins, and 51 Saintesses observing us, then logically…

‘What about the anomalies?’

For the same reason, could there be 51 Outer Gods in this void?

This wasn’t a ‘copy the Undertaker’ event. That would have been too convenient.

It was the opposite. This plane was a gacha event for multiplying Outer Gods.

“......”

- ......

- ......

All the Undertakers exchanged furtive glances.

The looks were deadly. Each of them likely had telepathy with ‘their’ Saintess and faced the same phenomenon.

And reached the same conclusion.

‘If more than one Undertaker gets off the plane, confirming multiple Undertakers on the ground will also multiply the Outer Gods!’

‘If 51 Undertakers exist, 51 Go Yuris will too.’

‘What madness.’

‘Only one Undertaker can get off the plane.’

Yes.

From now on, it was a matter of who would (try to) kill me.

Footnotes:

[1] Korean Air Flight 801 was an international passenger flight whose crash led to the deaths of 214 passengers. Experts cite poor communication between the personnel onboard as the most probable cause of the incident.