I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell
chapter-181

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The Existentialist III

Have you ever thought about which jobs would survive even if the world ended?

Soldiers? Most would perish because of Chekhov’s Gun.

Artists? They were virtually exterminated by regressors who favored only writers.

“Your Excellency, Section 2 of the Command Center has assembled.”

The surprising answer was civil servants.

“Good work.”

“Not at all, Your Excellency.”

Boom!

The autumn rain thunder crackled in the night sky. As Yu Ji-won's silver hair elegantly absorbed the rainwater, the members of the National Road Management Corps stood in line behind her. The task force from the command center consisted of 108 members in total. They were the civil servants and elite who maintained public order in today's Korea, where the national army had vanished. There was not a single person here who hadn’t received Aura from me or learned how to develop their awakening abilities.

“......”

“......”

Naturally, their discipline was strict. The eyes that looked at me were filled with almost infinite respect.

I clasped my hands behind my back. “A mysterious anomaly has spread like a virus. As of now, there are 504 infected individuals in Korea, with the highest affected in Busan alone at 311.”

“......”

“The condition for being infected by the anomaly is to see a ‘boat.’ Fortunately, it’s nighttime, not dawn, otherwise fishermen would have been decimated. Most of the infected were engaged in night fishing.”

A deadly tension flowed from the eyes of the members. It wasn’t just because they had trauma from experiencing COVID-19 as children. In this era where food was scarce, fish were almost a staple diet. Except for the fact that every fish was now as dangerous as pufferfish, fish were still nutritious dishes. In other words, tomorrow’s meals were now at risk.

“The official name for this anomaly is Theseus's Ship, but during the operation, we will refer to it as T. T is growing at a terrifying rate. In some cases, you can get infected not just by the image of a boat but by the sound of the word ‘boat.’ From now on, any words related to boats are forbidden. Understood?”

“Yes, Your Excellency!” the combat unit of the National Road Management Corps answered in unison.

They called me Your Excellency because their boss, the silver-haired psychopath standing next to me, instructed them to.

“T-infected individuals are running around the city indiscriminately, luring uninfected citizens near water and boats.”

“......”

“Although the National Road Management Corps has taken precautionary measures, unexpected damage could occur. The infected may be carrying pictures of boats, so always be ready to wear blindfolds. That is all.”

The members saluted. Their precise movements could make Mussolini jealous.

I rubbed my forehead. I had warned them numerous times not to do that, but they didn’t listen. However, their skills were undeniable. Mussolini should have envied not their salutes but their combat abilities.

“Your Excellency. We’ve captured them all.”

Before the night was over, all the infected in the Busan area were captured.

“Casualties?”

“Two. Based on your information, we formed teams of three, ensuring at least one person wore a blindfold, minimizing the damage.”

The members wore blindfolds because the infected would show boat images whenever they could. Some infected even tattooed boats on their bodies. One criminal was knocked out, and while lowering their guard, they saw a boat tattooed on their scalp and got infected. The anomaly made alopecia patients tattoo boats on their scalps.

Now do you understand why I firmly reject the coexistence of anomalies and humanity? Anomalies. You should not exist.

“Saintess, how are the other regions?”

[Mostly fine. Incheon has the highest number of cases, but almost all the infected are captured there as well. There are no cases in Daejeon and Sejong.]

“Indeed, inland areas have fewer cases.”

[Yes. At this rate, we should be able to block the route of infection before dawn.]

I sighed in relief. “Then the next issue is...”

[Yes. SG Net.]

I felt a tightness in my chest.

In reality, isolating infected individuals would suffice, but the internet was the problem. Even now, SG Net was flooded with all sorts of posts and comments.

- Picture of the beautiful Ark.jpg

- Click this post to get 3 million won

- Scared, want someone to talk to??

- No boat pictures here, feel free to enter

- [MUST READ] Tips for boarding the Ark!!

These were all bait posts. Most contained boat pictures. You couldn’t even trust posts without images because they had ASCII art drawn in text. Four awakener individuals ignored the constellation warnings to [Do not access SG Net for a while] and got infected. Fools.

“Saintess, are you sure all the awakeners posting now are captured?”

[Of course. We’ve confiscated all their smartphones. It’s not a macro running somewhere.]

“But posts are still being uploaded under their nicknames...”

[Yes. It seems not only real people but also internet ‘nicknames’ are infected by T.]

This was what’s known as Persona. Many believed the real world actually existed within their monitors, creating an ‘internet persona’ separate ‘real-world self,’ however slight the distinction may be. Theseus's Ship exploited that gap.

- Am I real on the internet? Am I real in reality? What is the true self? Does the concept of ‘self’ truly exist?

Like so.

Eventually, not only the ‘me living in reality’ but also the ‘me roaming the internet’ got infected by the anomaly. They became literal internet ghosts. While we succeeded in capturing the infected, we had no way to deal with the virus carriers within SG Net. What could we do? The admin of SG Net, Seo Gyu, had already lost his mind.

“Your Excellency, I have a plan,” Yu Ji-won said.

“What is it?”

“SG Net is a virtual space that cannot function without Seo Gyu. Therefore—”

“If your plan is to kill Seo Gyu, don’t even mention it.”

Yu Ji-won closed her mouth without another word.

‘What should I do?’

Theseus's Ship was evolving in real-time.

The title ‘SG Net’ on the main page began to distort eerily, changing to ‘EsZ Net’ and ‘$& Net.’ Though it was just warping letters now, it wouldn’t be long before it freely altered image files, parasitizing Seo Gyu’s awakening ability. If an image of a boat appeared on the site’s main page, it would be the end. An internet anomaly that humanity must never access would be born, especially when other sites were down.

‘I can’t lose Seo Gyu so easily.’

I pondered.

‘Boat. Boat. Boat. Charon’s boatman. A tool that carries people to another world. What is the boat’s weakness? Water? A typhoon?’

Then, I heard a strange sound from afar.

- Ah...

A song.

A song was coming from the direction of downtown Busan.

“Hmm?”

Yu Ji-won and I turned our heads simultaneously.

The melody resonated from speakers installed all over Busan. Miraculously, just listening to the song eased the fatigue from my entire body.

“Oh. The Great Witch is singing.”

“At this late hour?”

“Yes. The National Road Management Corps, the Samcheon World guild members, and the citizens of Busan have been working hard all night. The Great Witch is probably singing the Cursed Song Incantation to soothe their insomnia.”

“Oh... I see. I didn’t consider that.”

I admired Dang Seo-rin's thoughtfulness, but Yu Ji-won smirked indifferently. “She’s singing to gain favor during such moments, subtly earning the people’s hearts. Typical of the Great Witch of Busan.”

“Hey, Ji-won. As I’ve said many times, you need to curb that nasty temper. I know you only act like this around me, but if others find out―”

At that moment, a bolt of inspiration struck me.

‘Wait. A song? A boat that starts with T?’

As I mentioned, my neck possessed a sixth sense that other Homo sapiens lacked. Another term for it was goosebumps. These goosebumps were collectively singing, Eureka!

“A song,” I muttered to myself. “Yes, a song!”

“Your Excellency? I didn’t catch that?”

“Ji-won! Grab recording equipment and let’s go to Dang Seo-rin! I’ve figured out the real trick to defeat T!”

The expressionless psychopath tilted her head in confusion.

In fact, there was another ship as famous as Noah’s Ark: the Titanic.

In 1912, when it departed from England, it was the largest passenger ship in the world. The press dubbed it unsinkable because of its luxurious grandeur, a clear indication that it would never sink.

Naturally, in subcultures, if anyone other than the protagonist holds titles like “undefeated” or “invincible,” it merely means “they will inevitably lose someday” or “they will inevitably be defeated by the enemy someday.” Truly, it was a subtle way of expression in Eastern cultures.

In 1912, England was the main character on the global stage, but America was rising rapidly across the Atlantic. In this situation, the so-called “unsinkable” ship set sail between England and America, leading to an inevitable tragedy. It was the prelude to the change of protagonists on the global stage.

The movie Titanic, directed by James Cameron, was based on this true story. It became famous for dazzling audiences with its visual and auditory spectacle. First, Leonardo DiCaprio’s incredible looks captivated the eyes, and then―

“Oh... Undertaker. You want me to sing?”

“Yes.”

“That song, ‘My Heart Will Go On?’”

“Precisely.”

That’s right.

“My Heart Will Go On.” Composed by James Horner. Sung by Celine Dion.

One of the most successful songs in movie history.

“Why suddenly?” Dang Seo-rin asked. “That’s your favorite song, not mine.”

“Because we’re going to play it through the speakers, and your voice is far better than mine.”

“But your English pronunciation is better...”

“Don’t worry. Just think of it as Latin, and you’ll be fine.”

“Oh?”

Dang Seo-rin, the idol with the highest TOEIC score in the Three Han States (560 points), perfectly sang the English pop song.

I took the recording and went straight to Seo Gyu.

“Seo Gyu.”

“Yes, hyung. But what is Seo Gyu? Is it a term for SG Net’s administrator? Or, as you claim, does it refer to the human who is doomed to be the first to die at Busan Station if neglected? If so, can we say that Seo Gyu of the first death iteration at Busan Station and the current Seo Gyu are different individuals...”

“Enough of that. Listen to the song.”

“Arghhhhh!” Seo Gyu, tied up with ropes, struggled. “Get out! The wall is closing! Get out! Throw away your baggage! Descend! Lower the boat! Descend! Ahhhhh!”

“......”

Seo Gyu screamed desperately, as if the Titanic were sinking before his very eyes.

Noh Do-hwa, who was also working tirelessly on the night’s quarantine, muttered in disbelief, “No way, it’s actually working...?”

“We were lucky. Theseus's Ship and Titanic both start with T, and the anomaly didn’t stop at reality but expanded into the virtual space. So, sinking the ship in the movie would inevitably sink the anomaly.”

This was the tragic end of an anomaly that recklessly tried to level up. The more concepts it contaminated, the more powerful it became, and yet at the same time, the more its weaknesses became clearer. Expanding its influence recklessly could lead to a swift downfall.

Anomalies that wanted to avoid being easily hunted had to conceal their true identity. That’s why the Outer Gods are in hiding.

“U-ugh... Huh? Hyung?”

“Yes, Seo Gyu. Who are you?”

“Huh? What do you mean, who am I...? I’m Seo Gyu, of course?”

I nodded. The method worked.

After verifying the strategy, I played ”My Heart Will Go On” for all the infected. Oh, I also set it as the background music on SG Net.

-Ahhhhh!

-It’s sinking! The ship is sinking!

-Everyone, run away!

But there was nowhere to escape on SG Net. The anomalies turned into internet ghosts and sank helplessly.

I patted Noh Do-hwa’s shoulder, who was exhausted from working through the night. “Good work, Chief.”

“......”

“No need to thank me. Even though a new anomaly was born from your fingertips, causing casualties, and only my competence as a regressor allowed for early suppression, there’s no reason for you to be grateful to me.”

“Damn it...”

As I was about to savor an overwhelming superiority over Noh Do-hwa for the first time in a long while, a groundbreaking event occurred.

“Thank you, Regressor Undertaker...” Noh Do-hwa muttered in a very small voice, with her back turned.

I was so surprised that I momentarily froze. Noh Do-hwa expressing gratitude honestly? Could she be an anomaly?

“......”

Even then, Noh Do-hwa stood still with her back to me.

I shrugged. “Hmm.”

“......”

“You’re welcome. Yu Ji-won will handle the follow-up work. Take the day off.”

Then I left the command center.

The anomaly that could have threatened the entire Korean Peninsula by infecting anyone who saw an image of a boat was eradicated in one night.

There is an epilogue.

“By the way, Ah-ryeon.”

“Yes?”

“How did you avoid getting infected by Theseus's Ship? You always spend your nights on SG Net. Did you just happen to avoid posts with boat images?”

“No? Ah, no.”

“Then?”

“I saw them. The boat pictures...”

What?

“But I was fine after seeing them. Sure, I had moments where I wondered, Who am I? Where am I? But I always think about that. Hehe. There’s no way someone like me has any value, right? It’s a worthless worry...”

“......”

“Posting a comment on SG Net is much more important than that...! I was playing on the board, then suddenly felt weird, and then it was normal again. When the guild master said it was because of the anomaly, I was really surprised... Did that really happen?”

“......”

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