I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell
chapter-183

──────

The Sage II

This might seem sudden, but I want to pose a question.

Have you ever wondered about this while reading stories where the protagonist is an infinite regressor?

- The final boss is defeated! The protagonist finally reaches a happy ending! THE END!

- So, what now?

- What happens if the protagonist grows old, surrounded by loved ones and dies? Does he regress again? Does he repeat the same life?

Exactly.

For a regressor, a happy ending is not what’s truly important. With the infinite regression coin in hand, a happy ending is just another outcome, akin to a gacha that you keep playing until you get the desired result. The real issue lies beyond the happy ending.

There’s a hypothesis that suggests regressors might never truly find an end. They might have to eternally repeat the lives they've lived and the lives they will live. This is the so-called Never Ending Story hypothesis. Many creative works employ various means to avoid this Never Ending Story. The simplest and most elegant solution is to grant the protagonist eternal life.

- What if the protagonist dies of old age and gets trapped in an infinite Tsukuyomi? Let's make him incapable of natural death.

This solves all problems. The protagonist won't die of old age, thus preventing the repetition of regressions. The problem is that life always presents practical challenges, and eternal life doesn’t exist in the world I live in.

However, there was a virus resembling eternal life.

“Well, what can you do? If I get infected with Udumbara, I’ll lose my regression ability and eventually die a normal death.”

My answer was calm. I had considered this issue multiple times long before Yu Ji-won asked.

“No, that's a serious problem!”

The one who was truly panicked wasn’t me but Yu Ji-won. The psychopath who staked her life on my success wrinkled her brow like crumpled foil. “Your Excellency! Such a harmful anomaly must be eradicated immediately upon sight!”

“Yes. Don’t worry, I go to Onyang and exterminate it every time I regress.”

“No! The mere fact that you’re in contact with such an anomaly worries me greatly. Please, let me handle its extermination from now on!”

“Sure. So, you’re saying you want to keep Udumbara’s seeds and use them as a trump card to betray me if necessary?”

“Heavens! How could you imagine such a terrible thing! Why don’t you understand my loyalty to you...?”

Yu Ji-won’s outbursts were always something to be ignored.

I looked at the magic mirror again.

- Next time, get infected with Udumbara before dying.

“Hmm.”

It was indeed intriguing. The mirror knew exactly what could truly kill me, the regressor.

“Ji-won.”

“Yes, Your Excellency! If you wish, I can show my loyalty by cutting out my heart right now...”

“If you say one more ridiculous thing, I won’t tell you that I’m a regressor in the next cycle.”

“Upon further reflection, I believe I may not have understood the concept of loyalty.”

“Good. Anyway, this mirror seems to know that I’m a regressor, doesn’t it?”

“Hm? Mmm? Hmm...” Yu Ji-won moved closer to me, her hand still resting on her chin.

In the full-length mirror, both of us were reflected side by side.

- Please die immediately.

- Next time, get infected with Udumbara before dying.

The mirror from the fairy tale, functioning like ChatGPT, cleverly provided two different responses based on the number of users.

“See? The mirror tells me to die 'next time,' not 'now.'”

“Hmm. Yes.”

“When it says ‘next time,’ it probably means the next regression cycle. It’s telling me to get infected with Udumbara in the next cycle and then die.”

“...Indeed. Listening to you, it seems that way.” The furrow in Yu Ji-won’s brow deepened. “In that case, this anomaly must possess considerable power. It means it has seen through your identity and abilities.”

I nodded. “I think so too. This is no ordinary anomaly.”

“...But still, it’s strange, Your Excellency. For an anomaly with such insight and information, why would it only curse people to die?”

“That’s the same question I have.”

We stared at each other silently. Our thoughts converged on one question.

What exactly was this anomaly?

“...It’s definitely the mirror from the Snow White fairy tale.”

“But Your Excellency. In Snow White, the queen asked the mirror first while our mirror answered on its own without any questions.”

“And all its answers are always the same. Even the response to me is essentially the same as for everyone else: ‘die.’ What kind of predetermined answer is this?”

“Could it be an anomaly that maintains its identity across regressions? That’s how it learned about you being a regressor.”

“If this anomaly is powerful enough to transcend regressions, it’s even stranger. Why would it hide in your bedroom and only tell people to die? Is it a stalker?”

“Hmm. Maybe I’m just that important?”

“The anomaly must be blind.”

“...I can’t figure out its identity at all.”

“...Neither can I.”

In the end, we admitted defeat in the 41st cycle. We surrendered, unable to guess the anomaly's nature or purpose. In one cycle, out of frustration, I even broke the mirror, which only backfired.

“Your Excellency, didn’t you break the magic mirror and discard it last time?”

“Yes.”

“Since then, the appearance rate of voids has skyrocketed around the area where you dumped the glass shards. The number of anomalies has also increased exponentially.”

“......”

I later discovered this was the so-called ‘broken windows’ effect. You know, the theory that if a broken window is left unattended, the crime rate around it increases. The magic mirror, like the heart of an archer who participated in the Holy Grail War, was made of glass. When broken, the same thing happened. The area was fucked up.

“In summary, we know almost nothing about this anomaly’s identity...”

“Meanwhile, the anomaly knows everything about you and possibly other humans.”

“And if we destroy it, the broken windows effect will attract other anomalies like flies?”

“Yes. Leaving it alone feels unsettling, and destroying it causes disasters.”

“And yet, if left alone, it merely tells people to die without causing any actual harm?”

“Exactly.”

“Shit. What the hell is this thing?”

“The mystery deepens.”

I couldn’t believe such an anomaly existed.

To make matters worse, the magic mirror’s answers subtly changed as the regressions continued. From the 41st to the 116th cycle, the answers remained the same. Then, in the 117th cycle, the response suddenly updated.

- Stuff all newly born lives. They are the same anyway. Then get infected with Udumbara and die.

“......”

Newly born lives.

These were children who hadn’t been born in previous regressions but were newly born in this one.

For example, the little girl who gave me a sugar-coated donut in Haeundae. Jung Seo-ah, the daughter of a bakery owner, only existed in the 19th cycle.

- Stuff all newly born lives. They are the same anyway. Then get infected with Udumbara and die.

The magic mirror advised me to ‘stuff’ these lives.

“Stuff? What does that mean, Your Excellency?”

“......”

Yu Ji-won couldn’t understand this at all and tilted her head. It was likely that everyone would have had the same reaction.

Only I understood the true meaning of the mirror’s words.

‘...It’s telling me to use Time Seal.’

Stuffed in time. Sealed in time. It allowed a person to relive their happiest day over and over but erased them from everyone’s memory in return.

The magic mirror was pointing out my ability.

‘It sees through my regression ability and my time-sealing ability. This mirror.’

In the 19th cycle, Jung Seo-ah wasn’t remembered by anyone, not even by her parents, because in other cycles, a different child was born instead of Jung Seo-ah. So, whether I used the Time Seal or not, it didn’t matter. No one remembered Jung Seo-ah except me.

- Stuff all newly born lives. They are the same anyway. Then get infected with Udumbara and die.

Therefore, the outcome of being forgotten by everyone was the same anyway. So, why not grant them the mercy of reliving their happiest day forever?

Wouldn’t that be far better than falling into the abyss of death, regressor? Experiencing eternal happiness in a grave you’ve built―

The magic mirror whispered this to me.

‘Ah.’

That’s when I realized the nature of this anomaly—or rather, I understood the principle behind its actions.

The magic mirror from Snow White.

It might sound strange, but this anomaly was simply trying to show people a ‘happy ending.’

King Midas. The one who appears in Greek mythology.

Yes, the king famous for the Midas touch. Whatever he touched turned into gold. He was practically the Federal Reserve Board of ancient times.

There’s a less well-known legend associated with King Midas.

One day, the king captured a sage who was half-man, half-beast. The upper half was human, and the lower half was a horse or goat. As ever, the fate of a captured nonhuman by humans was pitiful. The king, after intimidating the sage, made a very human demand.

- Hey, you! Give us humans the best and greatest happiness!

- Eek...

The sage was reluctant to answer. He was tired of being treated like a lottery ticket by humans.

The king, frustrated by the sage’s resistance, used another ‘very human’ solution. He force-fed the sage with strong liquor until he was intoxicated beyond resistance. Only then did the sage, heavily drunk, comply with the king’s demand.

- Huh, you foolish mayflies. I was keeping silent for your sake, but why do you keep forcing me to answer? How annoying...

- What?

- For your kind, the ‘best and greatest happiness’ is impossible.

Because...

- The ‘ultimate happiness’ is never being born, never existing, remaining in non-existence. For humans, not being born is the best fate. If born, dying quickly is the next best thing.

- ......

No definitive account exists of how the human king reacted to this epic insult.

Nietzsche’s book also introduces this story, essentially saying:

- Humans always ask about happiness.

- But ultimate happiness doesn’t exist for humans because life is suffering.

- Therefore, the only happiness is not to suffer, and the wise thing is to escape suffering as quickly as possible.

- It’s better to have not been born.

A firm conclusion indeed.

I suddenly recalled this story while discussing the magic mirror.

“Ji-won, the magic mirror has been answering our questions all along.”

“What do you mean, Your Excellency?”

“Think about it. No matter what question you ask, all questions ultimately lead to one fundamental question.”

“One fundamental question.”

“Yes.”

Mirror, mirror. Tell me how to be happy.

“What lottery numbers should I pick, how can I reconcile with my family, how can I succeed? The questions humans ask the magic mirror are all aimed at achieving their happiness and well-being.”

“......”

“So from the mirror’s perspective, our questions are superficial and the essence is the same.”

“Tell me how to be happy... That’s what the mirror hears from us, Your Excellency.”

Exactly.

The mirror already knew what we would ask, even without hearing our voices, and so it answered automatically whenever it sensed us approaching.

- Please die immediately.

Instant death.

That’s the only happiness allowed to humans in this void-stained world.

I tapped the mirror. “In the Snow White fairy tale, this item is called the magic mirror. In ancient times, a magician symbolized a sage.”

“A sage, you say.”

“Yes. Also, in Harry Potter, the magic mirror hides the Philosopher’s Stone. So, the name of this anomaly before us is―”

The Sage’s Mirror.

That was its true name.

“The Sage’s Mirror... Indeed. A fitting name.” Yu Ji-won, resting her chin on her hand, nodded. “As expected of the Undertaker. So, how should we deal with this anomaly...?”

“Do nothing. It suggests death to humans, so it probably wishes for its own disappearance. It won’t cause trouble.”

“......”

“If it gets too noisy, cover it with a blanket. Maybe the mirror finds true happiness in reflecting nothing but darkness.”

“Certainly. That makes sense.”

Yu Ji-won brought an airplane blanket (probably found somewhere; habits die hard) and covered the mirror. Just before the mirror was completely enveloped in darkness, it spoke in a voice as emotionless as Yu Ji-won’s.

- Please die immediately.

Srrrk.

Then, the mirror fell silent.

There’s an epilogue.

In every regression, the Sage’s Mirror almost always appeared in Yu Ji-won’s vicinity. Since I had figured out how to deal with it, I didn’t pay much attention. But whenever I visited Yu Ji-won’s room, I’d lift the blanket to check the mirror.

Why? Just out of curiosity, wondering if the response had changed.

- Stuff all newly born lives. They are the same anyway. Then get infected with Udumbara and die.

Of course, the mirror’s answer rarely changed. From the 117th to the 430th cycle, it remained the same. It kept advising me to stuff the lives of poor beings before I died.

‘A useless answer. Well, that’s how sage’s sayings often are.’

Even a regressor’s curiosity has its limits. Seeing no sign of change, I eventually stopped checking the mirror.

Then, suddenly, in the 593rd cycle, I remembered.

‘Has the answer changed by now?’

The 593rd cycle was when I successfully defeated the Infinite Metagame. It was also the cycle when the young Overreader arrogantly declared she would save me.

At that time, the mirror was still in Yu Ji-won’s private room. So for the first time in a long while, I lifted the blanket, a reunion a thousand years in the making.

“......”

The mirror was clean. And quiet.

Although Yu Ji-won probably didn’t take care of it, there wasn’t a speck of dust on it. It seemed to look into my face and my soul.

Silence followed.

I wondered why it was so quiet.

- Keep living.

“......”

- Keep living.

I heard footsteps behind me. “Hmm? Undertaker, Your Excellency? You’re here?”

“......”

“It’s unusual for you to visit me. Did something happen?”

The mirror reflected the dim image of Yu Ji-won’s figure.

The voice softly echoed again.

- Keep living.

“......”

I quietly covered the mirror with the blanket and stood up. Then, I smiled at Yu Ji-won.

“No, nothing happened.”

“......?”

“Let’s have a barbecue and drink for the first time in a while.”

“Ah, sounds good.”

Footnotes: