Is It Bad That the Main Character’s a Roleplayer

Chapter 133 Because This Isn’t Fiction (1)

We returned to Hudelen. While not the epitome of civilization to someone from the modern era, at least it wasn’t a barbaric place where collective punishments were still a thing.

“Prepare some water.”

“Yes.”

In any case, the first thing to do after returning was, of course, this.

“Are all knights like that? Always wiping away sweat, despite knowing you’ll soon sweat again anyway? Berserk doesn’t bother because it’s too much of a hassle.”

“…Isn’t it a problem if you smell too much?”

“Ah, the young hunter must wash often. But the things Berserk hunts don’t have a keen enough sense of smell to flee from this scent alone. It’s fine.”

No, please just wash up. It was unpleasant for those around you, namely me.

Even though she was covered in dust, sweat, and other grime, Berserk was just sitting nonchalantly in the dining hall, making me want to slap my forehead in exasperation.

Being from the Temple, the Inquisitor always kept her body clean, and the Archmage also bathed quite often. Perhaps because of his focus on stealth, Deb frequently bathed to erase his scent, as well.

But Bers. Bers…

“Bring some for her, too.”

“Huh?”

“Your language is filthy enough already.”

Since she joined us, I have never seen her bathe even once!

I finally couldn’t take it any longer and ordered some bathwater for Bers, as well. Bathwater might be a bit expensive, but we were in the Temple. They wouldn’t charge me.

So, there was no reason to hesitate. Just like Deb ended up brushing his teeth after following my example, I would make sure that Bers would bathe whenever we stopped by a village or city.

“Berserk’ll just get dirty again…”

“You’ll also get hungry again, so it seems you have no need to eat, either.”

Bathe, just bathe already. You’re a person, right? Act like one!

“Berserk doesn’t wanna. You won’t even fight me…”

“And you think I’d clash swords with you while you’re covered in this filth?”

I wouldn’t indulge her until she was clean, so she should just go.

“…So, you’ll spar with me after I bathe?!”

Thankfully, Bers had enough sense to understand that much.

I merely closed my eyes and nodded slightly.

“Berserk will go bathe!”

“They haven’t prepared the water yet.”

“Hmm, you’ll bathe? Then how about sharing the bath with me? I was just about to bathe myself and have already reserved a bathroom…”

“Good!”

“Iron wall, you sure have some strong nerves. I could never bathe with such a musclehead.”

“Do you need something for your stomach?”

I was worried Bers might not even know how to wash herself properly, and although I had no intention of stepping in myself, thankfully, the kimchi dumpling volunteered to handle it.

“Then I shall join you as well, Inquisitor. Akata also needs a bath.”

【…? What about me…?】

“Ah. 【It’s nothing much. I just suggested you join us for a bath. Would you like to come?】”

With even the Archmage joining in, I could be fully assured that any filth potentially left on her after bathing would completely disappear. I was seriously relieved.

“The water is read— What?”

“Let’s go!”

“Ah, please send the water prepared for that person to my bathroom, miss. And Bers, it’s that way! The other direction!”

“Got it!”

With perfect timing, the prepared water was brought to that bathroom.

I decided to wait until my water was ready, avoiding the chaos of Bers dragging the others along like a golden retriever would its owner.

“Sir Knight, the preparations are complete.”

It didn’t have to wait long.

* * *

Soaking alone in a bathtub filled with hot water was a luxury I hadn’t been able to indulge in for a while.

While warming my body, I also trimmed my slowly growing hair and washed my clothes. Even though they had an automatic cleaning function, I always felt a bit uneasy relying solely on that.

Afterward, I scrubbed off any grime to avoid anyone commenting on my smell. That trauma from before was still deeply ingrained within me.

But thanks to that, I couldn’t entertain any unnecessary thoughts.

I wrapped my warm body in clothes and buried my face in a soft towel. It always felt good when something soft touched my skin.

“I’m glad I didn’t set my character up to have a beard.”

As I rubbed my face against the towel, such random thoughts came to me.

My hair grew pretty fast, so I had to trim it constantly. If I also had a beard, it would surely have been a hassle.

It had been like that even in reality. I recalled those days when I had to shave daily.

My beard grew pretty fast, so my chin would get prickly after just a day, so I had to shave every morning. It was really annoying.

“I wish Deb could just take my beard growth.”

Thinking about beards naturally reminded me of Deb. Some people looked like him after forgetting to shave for a day, but he looked like that after seriously trying to grow a beard.

Of course, he was pretty frustrated about it. Why didn't it grow faster? What was wrong with his body?

I figured it was because he was still rather young, but, well, we had much bigger problems. If he knew how hard it was to care for a beard, he wouldn't be saying these things.

Anyway, the character I was in now didn't have much—or any—beard growth, which was a relief.

I touched my smooth chin and headed to the dining hall. We always gathered there, so this was essentially an unconscious action.

* * *

* * *

“Hello! I thought you’d come out earlier, but you're later than I expected!”

As I reached the dining hall, I saw White Wind, who’d split from us at the town entrance to go to the Magic Tower, waving at me with a clean appearance.

“What is it?”

Did he still have business with me? Didn't we agree to discuss the results of his Arcane snake research later?

Could it be that he had already finished?

“I came to talk to you about your compensation! These things should be dealt with quickly to avoid hard feelings, right?”

Ah. Compensation.

I had completely forgotten about that.

“So, in addition to the original amount we agreed to, there's also an additional fee…”

I stood by the door while listening to White Wind's energetic voice.

I could hear the Inquisitor, Archmage, Bers, and Akata chatting leisurely in the distance. They also seemed to be heading to the dining hall after bathing.

We hadn't planned to meet here specifically, so they’d also likely come here out of habit.

“I'll take it in a different form.”

“Huh?”

Even hearing them also come here unconsciously made me feel a subtle camaraderie. There were times when I would prioritize my character setting over the party, but I guess I’d gotten used to this setup at some point.

“First, a chest protector. I want a new one.”

“That's not too difficult… Did it break? If it's just broken, I can fix it for you.”

“It's gone.”

“…It's gone? Weren't you always wearing it?”

Anyway, I couldn't just keep standing there. I chose a random chair and sat down.

On top of that, I acted as if I were slightly annoyed about having to reveal my weakness.

“…It disappeared after I got injured.”

I hated to admit it, but I had to speak up to avoid anyone else getting involved.

I forced these words out with a crumpled face as if I’d been chewing on them. White Wind's expression became curious.

“That’s… a bit strange. Maybe the people who treated you took it. Well, if it’s gone, there’s nothing we can do. Got it! I’ll make you a new one! You lost it in the Great Forest, right?”

“Yes.”

“Then I’ll also do some tracking while I’m at it. I don’t want any innocent people getting hurt by my invention.”

Oh, that’s some good news.

Gratefully accepting White Wind’s offer, I stated my second and final condition.

“Second, I want that child’s future to be secured. I’ll take that as the remainder of my compensation.”

White Wind looked at me with intrigued eyes.

“…Isn’t that something you don’t really need to worry about? If anything, that kid has been more of a burden to you than a benefit.”

“And I don’t need to give you a reason.”

“…Well, true. Alright then. Until the child is an adult and can live independently, our Magic Tower will take care of her as your compensation. Is that good enough?”

“…One more thing. Do it without the child knowing.”

“Haha. Worried the kid might be uncomfortable? How considerate of you.”

White Wind swiftly wrote down the terms on a new piece of paper.

Suitable and sufficient protective facilities. Weekly checks to ensure the child’s well-being. Weekly allowance. Additional support when the child becomes independent. All this without the child knowing.

“Is this enough?”

“…Confirmed.”

It was far from perfect, but it would do. My character wouldn’t worry over every variable that might pop up during a contract’s execution, and my real self struggled to handle issues that required genuine intelligence.

Besides, the voices outside were getting closer. It was about time to wrap up the contract.

So, trusting in White Wind’s honesty, I signed it. At least there were no hidden clauses, so there shouldn’t be any major issues.

The child wouldn’t suffer if the Magic Tower didn’t fulfill the contract. It would only be my loss.

“Sometimes I wonder about your kindness. No one will ever acknowledge it, so why bother?”

White Wind asked. The voices in the hallway were almost right outside the dining hall.

“Does this perhaps stem from your trauma, the one you don’t want to talk about?”

And just as the voices were directly outside the door, I closed my eyes.

If I said anything now, they might hear it… but it didn’t matter. Since the Archmage had already heard about me killing my kin, I might as well lay it on thicker.

“The dead have no use for gold.”

I deliberately said it in a way that could be interpreted in two different ways.

It wasn’t even a lie. According to the character’s backstory, all my family members were dead, so there was no reason to save any money for them. And the character himself didn’t plan to be around that long, so there was no reason for him to save any money, either.

As for myself? Honestly, I didn’t really need any money except for appearances.

Besides, what use did money have in a single-player game, not an online one? At most, it was needed to change equipment or restock supplies, and I could easily earn that money.

Thinking about my still pretty full wallet, I indifferently leaned back on my chair.

“Haha. That's true.”

In contrast to my relaxed posture, White Wind jumped to his feet. With audible footsteps, he walked over to the door and opened it, revealing the others standing idly in front of it.

“Everyone, enjoy your lunch!”

Oh, was it lunchtime? I supposed it was, considering we’d arrived in Hudelen just before noon.

Factoring in the time it took us to reach the Temple and bathe, it was indeed time for a slightly late lunch.

“…You're here early.”

Clearing his throat, the slightly damp Archmage was the first to speak up. Then Bers burst in, loudly declaring her hunger.

“Have you eaten?”

Even the Inquisitor, who was nervously glancing around, asked me something like that.

I glared at her, conveying that I obviously hadn’t, before closing my eyes again. Akata, unsure of where to sit, hesitated before finally sitting beside me.

It seemed she wanted to say something but couldn’t quite bring herself to do so, her lips repeatedly opening and closing. It was a sight I’d seen often during our journey together.

“Demon Knight, you promised! Eat first, then we spar!”

Bers, her hair still dripping, banged on the table.

The Archmage and Inquisitor screamed in protest next to her, but she paid them no mind.

“You’re as crude as ever.”

However, that crudeness was starting to grow on me somehow.

Perhaps it was because I’d had a lot of strange idle thoughts lately, especially after dealing with that politically charged mess… perhaps because that stuff had been exceptionally filthy.

Seeing the straightforward and boisterous Bers actually put my mind at ease. In hindsight, she seemed almost enlightened.

Well, anyone would seem that way compared to those bastards who threatened others by holding children hostage.

“What? Are you refusing?!”

I could barely stifle my laughter when I saw Bers fall on the table, accusing me of lying.

“Demon Knight, you liar.”

“Actually, Berserk, the Demon Knight never explicitly promised to spar with you after—”

“I can’t listen to your whining anymore.”

Instead, I opened my mouth to hide my laughter. Noticing something in my words, Bers lifted her head, her golden eyes shining with realization.

“I’ll shut you up.”

“…Yeah, that’s the spirit!”

Alright. Let’s fight.

Considering we were on break anyway and I didn’t have much to do, a good sparring session would be better than being stuck alone in some corner with these idle thoughts.

“Wahaha!”

Bers burst into joyful laughter when I finally agreed to spar with her. It was simple, pure, and infectious laughter.

“…You do realize it hasn’t been that long since you got stabbed in the heart?”

Of course, the Archmage, watching this from the side, grabbed his forehead, looking as if he’d aged another ten years.

Even if it had been completely healed with Arcane Power, I’d had a brush with death not that long ago. Sparring so soon did seem slightly crazy. Well, actually, it was crazy.

“…! Are you going to back out?!”

“Do you think I would back down because of something like that? Don’t insult me.”

But yeah, I usually did a lot of crazy things to begin with.

I shamelessly stepped forward, playing the part of the ‘reckless main character who never takes much care of their own body, much to the dismay of his companions’.

Shout all you want; my character wouldn’t listen to you anyway!

“Yeah, that’s the spirit!”

I matched Bers’ enthusiasm. I could practically hear the Archmage’s blood pressure rising like a background soundtrack to our talk.

Wahaha, this is fun. Bers might be an unexpectedly good companion for me.

“…You’re also aware that you’ll have to undergo a physical examination tomorrow, right?”

That was a rather unexpected attack.

Hmm. But that didn’t really matter, right?

I hadn’t felt any side effects from the poison, and the injury to my heart was just an external wound, not some type of illness. Since it had healed without leaving so much as a scar, wouldn’t that be considered a full recovery?

Given the chaos I’d gone through with the Vigabol tribe and how I had been fine the whole way here, I didn’t think anything was wrong with my body.

Furthermore, if they were concerned about the hypothesis of the seal breaking whenever I got hurt because my body would instinctively use too much Arcane Power, then this duel was necessary.

There was no way I wouldn’t get hurt while fighting Bers, and if I did, it would be useful for verifying that hypothesis.

“So?”

The Archmage couldn’t possibly be unaware of what I was thinking. He sighed at my cold gaze.

“Then, at least postpone it until tomorrow.”

Even though we’d only exchanged a few words, it seemed he’d given up on stopping us. Bers, her face filled with a mix of disappointment and joy, also gave the okay.

“If we’re gonna postpone it for a day, then we'll have to do it properly! With Arcane Power!”

“No, that’s…”

“You’re only hastening your defeat.”

Oh, it would be great for me if we could use Arcane Power. I was a little worried about my physical abilities being slightly lacking when fighting without it.

Bers and I laughed—I did on the inside—while the Archmage, holding his face, looked like he wanted to cry as we set the conditions for our duel tomorrow.

Although we called it a duel, it was practically a real fight, except we weren’t going to kill each other.

“I-Is that really okay?”

“No matter how I look at it, it isn’t…”

“What’s this? Am I late?”

Just then, Deb walked into the dining room. Judging by his light clothes, he must have washed his usual outfit. His hair, still slightly damp, was clumped together in some places.

“…Uhm, is there a problem?”

That interruption seemed to halt the conversation momentarily.

The tension created by Bers and me subtly exuding fighting spirit, the Archmage desperately trying to mediate, and the kimchi dumpling and Akata fidgeting in the middle gradually dissipated, returning calm to the dining room.

Additionally, this vibe also seemed to discourage any further complaints.

“…You’re not late. Take a seat. It’ll be a while before our meal arrives, so in the meantime, let’s have some tea.”

Haha. The Archmage surrendered.

I watched him change the subject and took a sip of the tea he’d poured for us earlier.

“…!”

It was the same delicious tea I had in the Great Forest.

“It smells good.”

“Sniff, sniff. What’s this?”

“It’s tea.”

“Urgh. Berserk prefers alcohol over tea.”

“Ah, hot, hot, hot.”

“…Don’t worry, we've also ordered some alcohol. And you, it’d be better to let it cool a bit before drinking.”

Did he brew the tea from what he received before?

Back then, it seemed a bit obnoxious of him, but sharing it like this changed my perspective on his actions.

“There’s plenty more, so don’t hold back.”

Hehe, it’s delicious.

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