I'm A Spider, So What? (WN)
chapter-blood-13

Blood 13 Envy

「Well, it depends on you what you will do from now on. You're still young, so there's no need to be in a hurry」

I nod to Ariel-san's words.

That's right.

Although I tend to forget it because there's the previous life, I'm still a baby.

My life is from now on.

I still have plenty of time.

I'm a Vampire too, so my life span might be longer than human.

「And so? What do you intend to do from now on? If you're coming with us, I welcome you. If you want to stay in the Humans territory, I will somewhat care for you in that case. But, I don't recommend that so much」

That's right.

What will we do after this?

There's no house to return anymore.

Because the Divine Word Religion and the Elves seem to aim at me for some reason, we must slip through the pursuit.

Although I don't know about the Elves, the Divine Word Religion is widely believed in the Humans.

Because of that, the sphere of influence is also wide.

Rather, it might be better to think that everything outside of the Goddess Religion's sphere of influence is the Divine Word Religion's range.

The Goddess Religion won't protect me anymore.

Rather, if they know that I'm alive, they might present me to the Divine Word Religion with pleasure.

The position of being chased by both Goddess Religion and the Divine Word Religion.

As long as I'm in the Humans' sphere of living, I can never relax my guard.

In addition, Merazofis and I must conceal the fact that we are Vampires.

Although I was able to live without being doubted because I'm a baby and it's only me up until now, it won't be like that from now on.

Although I never suck blood in daily life before, it might be not good if I don't suck when I grow up.

Something like because I'm a baby now, it's fine even if I don't suck blood.

Then, Merazofis has to suck blood.

As Ariel-san says, it's not too good to stay in the Humans territory like this.

I think that I can live on by hiding myself.

But, a life on the run is a stress with that alone, and I might face ruin because of a trivial mistake.

But, nevertheless, how about going to the Demons territory with Ariel-san?

I think that Ariel-san can be trusted.

Although it's a short association, I think that she's an unexpectedly reliable and truthful person.

But, even if Ariel-san can be trusted, Shiraori can't be trusted, and it doesn't mean that the Demons can be trusted.

Although I don't know how's the Vampire treated among the Demons, can a Vampire who's a former human accepted?

In the first place, what are the Demons?

I'm not a good-natured person who can trust the other party who I have not seen.

However, there are no other choices.

Ariel-san says that it depends on me, and gives me the right to choose, but the way that can be taken is limited.

If I refuse Ariel-san's offer here, what's waiting for me is the severe life on the run.

In a situation that I can't rely on anyone except Merazofis, I must live on while being afraid of the assassin who might come someday.

That's severe.

In the first place, because I'm still a baby, I must have someone to protect me for at least a few years.

The burden is too much for Merazofis alone.

Although I don't want to think about it so much, if something happened to Merazofis in that situation....

『What will Ariel-san do after this?』

「We will return to the Demons territory leisurely」

『Then, can we follow you?』

「Oh, did you decide it?」

『No. I'm still hesitating. So, for the time being, could you make it to until the border of the Humans territory and the Demons territory? I will decide the the things after that at that time』

I think that it's a halfway conclusion even if I say so myself.

It can also be said that it's delaying the problem.

But, even though I have lived as a Human up until now, I can't decide to go to the Demons territory suddenly.

「It's fine, it's fine. I think that it's good to be careful rather than deciding with the mood only」

Because she acknowledged it laughingly, I feel relieved.

After all, my request sounds very rude depending on how the person takes.

In short, it's the same as saying "because I can't trust you, I will wait-and-see".

「Well, it's a long way to the Demons territory from this place, so you can just find an answer during the travel」

Ariel-san who answers gently like seeing through my mind.

Somehow, I feel uncomfortable.

It's like I'm showed that how small am I.

Ah, after all, even if I reincarnated, I don't change so much.

Not only the ability.

When other people are superior to me, I will have an indescribable inferiority complex and an unpleasant feeling in my chest by all means.

The name of the unpleasant feeling is envy.

Why am I like this while the others are like that?

When the other people are excellent and it's inconvenient, I will think about such a thing unconsciously.

I'm reborn, born in a good house, and my life is from now on!

And yet, I'm a Vampire, got involved in the war, my family and house are lost, and I almost died.

Why it's always me!

Because I had such a terrible previous life, isn't it fine to make my second life better!

The anger that has no place to vent it.

The feelings accumulated in the pool transformed into envy in my mind by the person who I hated the most appeared in front of me.

Even though I'm at the very bottom of misfortune, she had a nonchalant air.

I understand it.

This is just an outburst of anger.

It's shameful, and an unsightly act.

Even for an instant, it's not the feelings that should be held to my lifesaver.

But, I can't clear it.

I can't sort my feelings.

Maybe, that's why.

I acquired the 「Jealousy」 skill unconsciously.

(TL note: The word used here is actually 羨望 which is one of the Japanese translations of Envy. However, the word 嫉妬 is the commonly used for Envy. And also, this skill has level, so it's not the final Sins skill. While this 羨望 can only be translated as Envy, I translated it into Jealousy. *End of this very long note*)

The level rises day by day, and it's level 7 now.

Whenever the voice of God notifies that the level of Jealousy rises, I became more irritated as if my hideous mind is being exposed.

「Should I tell you about Shiro-chan?」

About her?

「After all, she won't say anything willingly. I will tell you. About Shiro-chan」

I didn't want to know about her particularly.

But, somehow, I felt that I must listen to the story.