Lazy Dungeon Master
chapter-122

Progress

Can she revive because she’s a saintess? Or is it that she’s a saintess because she can revive? I don’t know, but at any rate, Saintess-sama can revive. The fact of the matter is that three days have passed and she’s challenged the dungeon each day. She’d return by death and take a long rest in the suite each time.

Her daily DP worth would lower ten percent each time she died, returning back to 250 DP after a while. We’d get about 1500 DP each time she died. I don’t really get what kind of mechanism’s behind it at all, but it feels like the same effect as Feni the phoenix’s. Maybe it’s some kind of skill?

Rather, dying to so many easy traps despite being a B-rank adventurer. It doesn’t seem like she gets caught by the same trap twice though…

“This world is managed by the Light God. Dungeons are things made by demons in order to hinder the Light God’s management. That’s why we must all destroy dungeons. So, will you please give me the right to destroy the dungeon core?”

“Nope.”

While recovering, Saintess-sama visited me.

It’s super annoying that I have to talk to her each and every time. Aah, there’s no doubt about it… this girl’s my worst enemy. Furthermore, since she was getting a hold of me through contacting the village sub-chief, he—Wozuma—had to take part as well.

“Whaaa… even though I preached to this extent…”

“It’s because the dungeon is under this country’s management. Oh, right, please get permission from the adventurer guild’s guild head as well.”

“… That’s unreasonable. The dungeon is in your village, so it is your property as the village chief you know!”

No it’s not! Well, it is, but that’s not the point!

I decided to change the topic to avoid the subject.

“Come to think of it, didn’t you come with an attendant? Where are they?”

“It’s better if he isn’t together with me. If I had to say why, it’s to be safe.”

“Oh, even though you are Saintess-sama… are you safe by yourself?”

“Yeah, he has a simple altar. As you know, saints can revive countless times so long as there is an altar.”

As I know, huh. I guess it’s well-known in the Holy Kingdom?

Rather, altars that get used as something like a safety zone for saints to safely revive at… those exist?

“I’ve never heard of that. Wozuma, did you know?”

“No, this is also my first time hearing it… Saintess-sama, I’ve never heard that before.”

“… Oh my, please excuse my rudeness. It is common sense in the Holy Kingdom.”

How would I know then? Either way, she just let the secret to her immortality slip. Or maybe she’s actually probing information from us?

Is it really common sense in the Holy Kingdom and she’s just careless…? She’s been looking to be careless so far, but I can’t put aside the possibility that it’s an act. Otherwise, she’s just too much of an airhead.

Even her obstinately trying to get my permission, she may have seen through me being the dungeon master… yep, that’s a scary thought. It’s scary that I can’t say it’s impossible.

However, if this Saintess-sama is seriously just an airheaded child, there’s no point in me being anxious… grah, she plays dirty!

Moreover, her coming and asking me to hand over the dungeon core’s destruction rights either directly or indirectly is extremely grating to my nerves. Village Sub-Chief Wozuma won’t even join in the discussion unless I pull him in either. Let’s split this hardship, alright? I’ll leave about a hundred percent to you.

We talked idly for about an hour after that with me being careful to not promise anything before Saintess-sama took her leave.

… And that’s how much of my sleeping time was taken away from me. Did she leave because she felt some killing intent building up?

She’d revive anyways.

*

Now then, setting aside the saintess, back to the black wolf, Rin. I’ve been sending messenger golems for it to eat as [Flavors] several times now.

Today, I decided to test what looks to be its weak point again today.

“Oooi, Rin. I came to play!”

[… Kuwaaaafu, what, Kehma? You’re here, again. What flavor, today? Can I taste?]

“Yeah, go for the right arm for now.”

I held out the golem’s right arm to Rin, who bit it off in one go. It doesn’t hesitate or hold back anymore. Even poisoned, the golem is an all-you-can-eat buffet. Well, I guess there’s not much to actually eat.

As it started to crunch the arm into bits, Rin’s face grimaced and it spat out the splintered golem arm. I stuffed plenty into the arm for today’s flavor. Plenty of salt, that is.

[Awroo? Peh, peh peh!]

“Oh? What’s up, Rin? Doesn’t taste good?”

[It’s horrible! This is not, a flavor…! You can just, go back, already.]

“Don’t say that, let’s talk some more. Some weird person’s been hanging around recently and stressing me out.”

[T-that so… that stress, so that’s why, there’s such a, bad taste…? Mmm.]

Salt. Yep, Rin’s weak point is salt. Although hydrochloric acid looked like it was going to be effective too, salt is the worst. I mean, it said that although the acid was a bit tingly, it tasted good.

It’s just salt, maybe it’s because it has a holy attribute to it? Like purification salt or something. Maybe it’s also that salt pulls away moisture from it?

At any rate, of the various things I tried out, the only thing Rin said was too horrible to eat was salt. When I fed it a full body with salt in it, it writhed and spat it back out. Today it did that with just a single arm of it.

Alright, let’s go with making a ton of anti-Rin iron armor with rock salt in it.

[Hey, Kehma. It’s already, about right, to call you, my follower, I think. Right?]

“Hmm? Really?”

[Really. You, give food, to me. Therefore, you’re my, follower.]

I get it, I have been feeding it every day after all.

Wait, no way… did I actually succeed in taming it?

[Moreover, even though, that was horrible, you don’t stop, bringing good flavors. You’re, a good guy.]

“You saying that makes it worth the effort.”

[That’s why, so that you don’t, get any worse tasting… I’ll help, get rid of, your stress.]

“Really!? Thank you!”

Then again, Rin is the source of about half of my current stress.

… Should I try asking it to move from this room? I’ve been thinking some excuse for it to move that’s as gentle as possible. Right now’s the only time I can use it!

“Aah, in truth, Rin being in this room is pretty stressing to me as well…”

[Mu!? My, fault!?]

“Yeah. Really, this place… is my toilet, you know? Since Rin’s been here so long, I haven’t been able to, you know…”

[Wait, wait. T-this is, your restroom? That’s… err, golems use, restrooms?]

Oh, thank goodness. Since Rin itself didn’t appear to need to relieve itself, I was a bit worried it wouldn’t understand what I meant.

“Yeah… It’s embarrassing, but this really is the place I use. Wanna see?”

[Eeeh!? H-hold up, y-you don’t need, to show me, that!]

“No no, you wouldn’t believe something like a golem needing to use the restroom without seeing it right? Wait a moment, I’ll do it now… hmph!”

I had the messenger golem squat and took out a light magic tool in a manner so that Rin wouldn’t see it.

Then, like that, I let it drop to the floor with a bang and shine.

“Phew, much better now. Here, check it out.”

[Whaa!?]

Next, I had the dummy core retrieve the light magic tool… From Rin’s point of view, it’d probably look like the the dummy core just sucked up a golem’s excrement.

See, dirty right? Something you absolutely wouldn’t want to eat, yeah? That was the feint.

After that, a message came in from Rokuko, who’d just retrieved the light magic tool in the master room.

[You know, Kehma… even if it’s a dummy core, it feels horrible using a dungeon core like that.]

“It couldn’t be helped, endure it.”

I also thought it was horrible. It wouldn’t be effective if it wasn’t such a horrible thing.

[… U-understood. I’ll leave, this room… but Kehma, your, uh, feces, it shines… is it warm?]

“Yeah, it’s sticky too. Want to feel? I can do it again if you want? It’s hard to do it with someone watching, but there’s more where that came from…”

[No, it’s okay. I’m good… But, mmmm. Is there, a room, about this warm?]

“Hm? If you like it like this, I can warm up another room to be about the same. Give me a sec.”

[W-wait! Don’t, smear that stuff, in the room, alright!?]

Don’t say something so vulgar. Well, I get what you mean, so don’t worry.

But you know, when you go and swallow things whole you get everything, feces included. I won’t actually say that though.

“I won’t. I’ll just mess with the temperature. Leave it to me.”

[That’s good, then.]

… I succeeded in taming Rin.

I unintentionally pumped my fists with the messenger golem.