Lazy Dungeon Master
chapter-64

Stupimander

[That’s just sleeeeeeeepiiiing!!!!]

Blowing away the rubble that buried the passage, the salamander reappeared.

I got exposed on the fifth day.

Took longer than I thought it would. But I really wanted to trick him after going that far. It was such a good excuse to sleep for twelve grand hours…

SYJ5Vmy

When I sent the golem to meet him in the passage, I guess he thought I was pretty rational since I introduced myself obediently.

Since I made a room midway through the passage, my [Preparation] this time was that I could teleport there. It’s a lot easier than walking.

“Oi… are you fucking with me!?”

“That’s rude. I was being serious. So you think that [Dogene] is just sleeping? Unfortunate.”

“I-is that so?”

Oh? I didn’t expect that reaction… let’s try and trick him again.

“Yeah, to begin with, if you think [Dogene] is just sleeping, isn’t a [Dozega] just sitting?”

“Ugugu–, e-even so…”

“Even though I went this far to show my apologetic feelings, and even though I went through so much to patch up the wall…”

“Eh–. Yeah, well, uhh…”

“… What will you do to settle this?”

“Mu-mumumu…!”

The salamander just obediently agreed to what I said. Simple. Very simple. Stupimander~

“I-I get it. How about I go and repair my wall…”

“Just that? You won’t do anything about scorning my heartfelt apology?”

“… Sorry.”

“Well, it’s fine if you understand. I also said too much.”

“Y-y-y-you’re a nice guy huh.”

“By the way Dungeon Core No. 112, has your master given you a name? It’s hard for humans to keep saying Dungeon Core No. 112, so could you please teach me it?”

“Yeah, it’s [112]. My master gave it to me, it means one hundred and twelve in draconic.”

It was translated into [112] as usual. It is the draconic word for it after all.

“I see, that’s a good name. But it’s hard for me to pronounce it… I actually came from another world, so is it fine if I just parody 112?”

“Oo! What’s the name?”

Ah, so it affects things like that too. I thought about these kind of things during those five days.

“Ontentoo. If you take one and twelve apart, then divide twelve into ten and two, you get one, ten, and two. Mesh them together and you have Ontentoo. What do you think?”

“Hooh, I like it, call me that name.”

Ontentoo, formerly known as Stupimander, smiled in delight.

“Yeah, Ontentoo. I’m Masuda Keima.”

“Kehma huh, I’ll remember it.”

Ontentoo then went back in high spirits. As expected of Stupimander, tricked him again.

… Yep, looks like naming that guy didn’t overwrite the one his master gave him.

*

“I thought something was off!!”

Then, Stupimander Ontentoo came back three days later.

These ones are pretty quick~. The party that was exploring our dungeon just got replaced.

There’s a D-Rank party and two E-Rank parties this time.

They memorized the traps and were practicing against the goblins and golems or something. It seemed like the adventurers that came this time weren’t that interested in treasure. Thanks to that I don’t have to go out of my way to replace the expensive treasures, so they’re saving me a bit of DP with that.

We’re also getting more guests at the inn. Rokuko is in charge of meals and Ichika is working at the reception desk. I went around the rooms using Cleanup on them.

Well, I haven’t been doing that recently because I’ve been busy with [Dogene]. Hahaha.

“Oh, Ontentoo. Welcome back. So, what’s off?”

“My master said it! You’re lying to me! I tried out the [Dogene] so that I could demonstrate your apology, there’s nothing difficult about it! Even master tried it out in human form, it’s completely comfortable!”

He went out of his way to try it out? What a faithful chap.

So a dragon can change into human form huh…

“Ontentoo can’t do a [Dogene] to begin with though. It’s not painful for a salamander to stay standing right? That much is natural, since the structure of your body is different from a human’s.

“I-is that so?”

“And wouldn’t a dragon’s human form just mimic the appearance of a human? In reality, wouldn’t their stamina be disproportional to a true human? I’m a normal human, I’d be troubled if you compared me to that. I’d be burned if I tried to lay down in the [Flame Cavern] you know?”

“Ooh… that’s right too.”

“To begin with, doing the [Dogene] is so painful to humans that they lose consciousness you know? Even I repeatedly lose consciousness doing it…”

“W-what’s that!? So that was it huh…”

Well, my opening my eyes would be painful when I’m falling asleep!

“So, what did Ontentoo want me for?”

“U-umuu… I-I wonder?”

You’re asking me? I don’t recommend that.

“Got it, looks like you’re still dissatisfied… I guess twelve hours a day of [Dogene] wasn’t enough huh?”

“W-what do you mean?”

“Well I’ll add another person, my subordinate, and have them do it as well!”

“W-what!?”

“Moreover, I’ll restrain them myself, making it so that they can’t move. A forced [Dogene]!”

“What the—! … Hmmm, if you do so, that will be plenty. Kehma, your determination is firm. I understand.”

Ontentoo left yet again.

At this pace he’ll be back in a day I guess?

… Well, as promised, I went back to sleeping with Meat as my hug pillow. As usual.

*

“No matter how I think about it isn’t the [Dogene] just sleeping!?”

“Hmm? Oh, Ontentoo, you came back huh? So much free time~”

Ontentoo came yet again one day after that… well, he came the next day.

On his head was a red lizard-tailed… no, crocodile-tailed girl.

“… You are?”

“My master!”

“Oh—! So you’re the bastard that kept tricking this one’s Danna-sama!?” [1]

Isn’t his master a red dragon? So that’s a dragon tail huh. So Ontentoo’s her husband?

“By the way, this one purposely changed into human form since this one’s original form was too large to pass through, be thankful!”

“My goodness, thank you very much for doing that.”

“Yeah, good isn’t it! You’re welcome!”

The red dragon girl threw her chest out in satisfaction.

“So, what is dissatisfying Oku-sama?” [2]

“Oku-sama… yeah, this one is an Oku-sama! Right, 112!?”

“Yeah, Oku-sama is my love. Redra, love youuu.”

Oi, don’t just go and suddenly act out a play in my dungeon. Leave first.

“Ah! That’s not it, you kept cheating him! Guys like you…—”

“Oh? That so? Oi Kehma! What’d you do!”

Eeeh. I didn’t do anything you know? Is that it? They’re the type that gets fired up easily?

… This couple looks like they’re comrades in idiocy!

Footnotes:

Think of Danna-sama as the “husband” version of Ojou-sama.

Think of Oku-sama as the “wife” version of Ojou-sama.