Love Letter From The Future
chapter-222

"Emma!"

Startled, a frantic scream tore from my lips.

Finding a friend collapsed would have been shocking enough, but Emma held a special place in my heart.

Ever since receiving the letter, she had been the first person I had almost lost.

I had sworn to protect her, a vow I intended to uphold in the days to come. Thus, seeing Emma collapsed again with a pale face naturally halted my thoughts in their tracks.

An ominous nightmare flashed through my mind.

The vision of Emma lying motionless, her face drained of color, and her insides spilled out.

I rushed to her side, checking her condition. Thankfully, though her breaths were faint, they remained steady. She didn't seem to be on the brink of death.

Yet, I couldn't shake off the gnawing anxiety and frantically looked around.

I was wondering if there were any potions made by Emma that could be useful.

However, Emma's workshop, which I hadn't visited in a long time, felt unfamiliar.

Where familiar potions had once been, now were things that I had never seen before.

It would have taken weeks of tireless effort to make them.

Why did Emma make all these potions?

The question lingered on my lips for a while. Unfortunately, now was not the time to dwell on such thoughts.

I scooped Emma into my arms and rose to my feet.

I debated whether to seek help or head to the temple. If she had collapsed, her condition must have been dire.

Even if her life wasn't in danger at the moment, the counsel of a healer was necessary.

As I lifted Emma, a faint groan escaped her lips.

"Uh, I-Iaan... huh..."

Even in her unconscious state, she uttered my name.

Though I couldn't understand Emma's intentions while crafting those potions, it was evident they held some connection to me.

My heart ached even more.

I urgently spoke to Emma, trying to bring her back to consciousness.

"Emma, Emma! Are you conscious?!"

"I, I... uh..."

Emma's quivering eyelids fluttered open.

Her emerald gaze met mine. Blinded by the harsh light, she squinted before gradually regaining her focus, her expression blank.

She simply stared at me, wordless.

It seemed she couldn't grasp what had happened. With a dazed look, she alternated between examining her own form and my face before asking a bewildered question.

"...Is this a dream?"

"No, Emma. This is reality."

I breathed a sigh of relief as Emma regained consciousness, yet my tone remained firm, fearing she might lapse back into unconsciousness.

"And you were out cold until just now... What exactly were you doing?"

Words of rebuke slipped out of my mouth, a knee-jerk reaction after such a heart-stopping experience.

Immediately, I felt a pang of guilt for my harshness.

After all, what fault could possibly lie with Emma? If there was any one to blame, it should fall squarely on the shoulders of the person who drove her to such exhaustion.

Most likely, that person was me.

I hesitated to meet Emma's gaze, feeling unworthy..

Regardless, Emma's face flushed crimson.

"S-So... this isn't a dream?"

"Yeah, it's reality."

Still, Emma murmured in disbelief.

"I-I'm in Ian's arms?"

"...Why is that?"

Perhaps she is feeling uncomfortable?

After all, Emma was a maiden in her prime. Naturally, she would be sensitive about being in close proximity to an unrelated man, even in a crisis.

Emma wouldn't blame me if I explained the situation to her, but she must have been startled, having just opened her eyes.

As I was about to feel slightly discouraged,

Emma covered her flushed face with her hands and then spoke with a voice tinged with happiness.

"I wouldn't mind dying like this..."

No, dying was not an option.

Though Emma's words about throwing away the life I had saved left me inwardly bewildered, I couldn't help but burst out laughing.

If Emma was happy, then so was I.

After enjoying each other's warmth for a while, Emma finally stepped down to the ground with a timid gesture.

Her flushed cheeks remained the same.

With her ears turning scarlet, she stammered a greeting.

"...I-It’s been a while, Ian."

"Yeah, Emma. What have you been up to? You didn't visit when I was discharged."

Now that I saw Emma standing on her own, I could finally breathe a sigh of relief.

As I inquired with a lingering trace of worry in my voice, Emma hesitantly began to speak.

"......I heard you collapsed from overdosing on potions."

Upon hearing her response, I was about to say something but then bit my tongue.

Frustration welled within me, and a heavy weight pressed on my mind.

I felt like I should offer some words of comfort and persuade Emma, but my way with words was far from eloquent

I could only guess Emma's feelings.

The words I managed to muster were brief.

"...It's not your fault."

"Uh, no. Actually, I've come to realize... how selfish I've been."

She had even scrimped on her living expenses to make potions to help me.

There wasn't a single aspect of Emma's dedication that could be criticised as selfish.

Yet, Emma spoke these words.

That she had been acting selfishly all this time.

I could only call out her name, unable to understand her.

"Emma..."

"I just wanted to be good to you, no matter what."

Emma confessed her true feelings, her tone entirely subdued.

"The only thing I know how to do is make potions... Since I can't fight alongside you, I thought that was the best way I could help. That's why I thought providing you with plenty of potions would suffice."

Emma had done so much more for me.

When I fell ill, she cooked for me and even spent days persuading Young Lady Lupesia on my behalf.

But to Emma, all that still seemed insufficient.

"But, in reality, it wasn't enough. What I thought was helping you was actually harming you. Overdosing on potions... Why didn't I consider that."

"It's not your fault."

I asserted firmly once again.

"I made the choice. It wasn't made in ignorance of the consequences, and if I hadn't done so, I wouldn't have won."

"...Ian."

Emma hesitated, her eyes pleading as she gazed at me.

"You're an extraordinary person. Everyone in the academy knows of you now, and soon your deeds will be known across the continent. But compared to that, I'm just... a commoner girl. All I do is faint and owe you a debt of 10,000 gold, or rely on you when I'm bullied..."

"You're not just a commoner girl; you're 'Emma.'"

The only words I could offer Emma were those sincere truths.

Her eyes widened, perhaps taken aback by my unexpected declaration.

"You're valuable and unique simply because you're yourself. Being a commoner, or only receiving help... Please stop talking like that. And forget about the 10,000 gold."

"...How can I do that?"

As Emma spoke, her voice carried a tinge of sadness, accompanied by a smile.

"I'm a troublesome woman who can never let go of such things. And if things continue like this, I might even lose the right to stand by your side......"

Her gaze drifted towards the boiling kettle, its contents left unattended for who knew how long.

Potion brewing was a delicate process that demanded precision; even the slightest deviation could yield vastly different results.

It was probably best to discard it.

Emma's eyes then shifted to the new potions adorning the shelves, a distant look in her gaze.

"So, I've been pushing myself to continue my research. But please, don't misunderstand, alright? It's not that I didn't want to see you; it's just... I felt compelled to suppress those feelings, believing that the time when I could face you with pride would come sooner."

"...Don't restrain yourself in the future."

I gently took Emma's slender hand into mine.

It felt a bit cold, likely due to poor circulation.

A sigh mingled with frustration escaped my lips.

"I was worried about you, you know."

Emma let out a soft laugh.

But beneath that laughter still lingered a hint of sadness, and I couldn't shake the feeling that Emma might continue to push herself too hard.

I sighed deeply.

Conventional methods seemed insufficient to quench Emma's thirst. The real issue lay in her belief that she owed me a debt.

Deciding to change the subject, I said,.

"...So, was it worth fainting from all that hard work?"

"Somewhat?"

With a hint of renewed confidence in her voice, Emma proudly gestured towards the potions lining the shelf.

"Potions inherently contain toxins. It's not just potions; all medicines are similar. Medicine essentially involves using poison in a different way. Initially, I attempted to reduce their toxicity, but that proved to be a limited endeavor."

With my limited understanding of pharmacology, I simply nodded along as Emma explained. She chuckled at my reaction, finding it cute..

It was the first genuine smile I had seen from her today.

"Then, what if we maintain the toxicity and combine the effects? After all, Ian, you tend to consume several potions during battles."

Emma seemed to have been deeply engrossed in this problem for the past few days.

How could she be of more help to me?

The culmination of her worries likely resulted in those potions.

It must have posed a significant challenge for Emma. Combining two effects in one potion was far from simple.

There must have been countless failures.

Speaking of 'battle,' a thought suddenly struck me, prompting me to ask Emma about it.

"What about amplifying the medicinal efficacy along with the toxicity?"

"...Well, it's not entirely impossible."

Emma tapped her lips with her index finger, pondering for a moment before shaking her head.

"But it's too risky. If a potion's toxicity exceeds a certain threshold, it could become more akin to poison than medicine. It's not that others haven't attempted it; they simply couldn't succeed."

"What if we create a poison, then?"

Emma's voice halted abruptly.

She looked at me with a puzzled expression. Sensing an opportunity to assuage Emma's guilt, I decided to make a request.

"Emma, could you concoct an anesthetic? Something that acts swiftly, inducing unconsciousness as rapidly as possible."

"If I start tonight, it might be possible..."

Emma was on the verge of asking what I intended to use the poison for when a rumbling sound reverberated through the workshop..

Given my habit of maintaining my diet rigorously for muscle upkeep, hunger wasn't the source of that noise at this hour. There was only one plausible explanation.

Emma's face flushed with embarrassment after a moment of silence.

She lowered her head in shame.

Upon closer inspection, Emma's complexion remained pallid. She appeared thinner lately, and I grew concerned because Emma frequently skipped meals.

I asked cautiously.

"...Haven't you eaten?"

"Y-Yes... Actually, the materials cost quite a bit."

It seemed even the hundreds of gold I had given her last time wasn't sufficient.

Indeed, new research meant substantial expenses. Emma, engrossed in her daily research, likely didn't even consider foraging mushrooms from the forest.

With a sigh, I suggested to Emma,

"Shall we go grab a meal?"

"That, uh... Okay, sure."

Eventually, that day, I fed Emma an excessively large amount of food.

Until she tearfully admitted she couldn't eat anymore.

And I earnestly admonished Emma.

"If you neglect meals or overexert yourself again in the future, I may need to feed you even more."

Emma pursed her lips and then confessed with a slightly bashful expression.

"......If it's just the two of us, i-it doesn't sound too bad."

Truly, she was a woman who struggled to care for herself.

I simply shook my head, resolving to visit Emma's workshop regularly.

And the next day dawned.

It was finally time to start the journey back home.