Memoirs of the Returnee
chapter-146

Fragment (2)

Within these [Fragments of Time], a day repeats infinitely. Destruction and creation follow each other in a continuous cycle.

Elise is trapped within this cycle of regression.

I have observed her for a long time.

On some days, we searched for an exit together,

On some days, I coldly informed her of the situation she was in,

And on some days, we merely passed the time together, doing nothing.

Here, ‘days’ were at least in the hundreds, but the results were never good.

When I was by her side during the search, her magnetism didn’t work,

When I coldly conveyed her situation, Elise’s mind couldn’t fully withstand it,

And when we just passed the time, that’s all we did – time simply passed.

The worst case among them was…

Elise, who killed herself from the ceiling of the greenhouse.

That’s why I concluded that ‘I should leave everything to Elise herself’.

From that day on, I stopped counting the days.

I just prepared the same things differently every day.

“Here. Chicken noodle soup and king dumplings.”

Most of them were food.

“Here. Salmon steak and corn cheese.”

Some days it was noodles, some days it was meat, some days it was seafood.

I pursued as diverse a menu as possible.

Even these could act as potential ‘variables’, and the ingredients would regenerate after a day anyway.

“Here. Spaghetti and buffalo wings.”

“……Isn’t that too much?”

Sometimes Elise would complain, a pointless pretense.

When I served her food that was obviously too much, this event occurred one out of ten times. She complained about the quantity while eating it.

“Eat and leave the rest.”

“Well. I’m grateful, so I won’t leave any.”

Watching Elise eat is surprisingly entertaining. She’s quite honest with food, so her expressions change every time.

Very delicious food makes her tremble at the end of her mouth,

Pretty delicious food makes her lick her lips with the tip of her tongue after a bite,

And just edible food makes her eyebrows twitch.

All her expressions are rich and abundant.

Today, she seems to be enjoying it very much, trembling at the end of her mouth.

“It’s delicious. Is the spaghetti made from organic wheat? The buffalo wings are perfectly roasted. It’s a pass.”

She never forgets to give her review after finishing. It seems like a remnant of her habit of managing a personal chef.

After finishing the meal like this, I start a serious conversation with her.

“So. This is the future, right?”

“Yes. But the time allowed itself is not long.”

Every day, I reveal a little bit more. To make her think a little differently than she did previously.

The two main premises are:

1. She must search for the exit alone.

2. Never reveal the truth about the infinite regression.

“Can you do it?”

“……I’m a bit tired, but I’m okay. I can go right away.”

Also, at first, she must sleep as soon as she arrives. If she doesn’t sleep, she’ll faint during the search.

“Alright. Sleep first. I’ll be here.”

“……If you say so.”

Elise, with her lips pouting, crawls into the sleeping bag and sleeps.

Soon after waking up from sleep, she leaves for exploration, leaving the words – I’ll be back soon. And when the next day comes…

Another day repeats.

Today’s menu is sirloin steak.

“It’s delicious. The outside is crispy and the inside is moist. It’s a pass.”

After the meal that received a passing grade, again.

I converse with her.

“So, you’re saying you’re from the future?”

“Something like that.”

And so…

Time passes.

The same conversation continues every day.

“Are you… Shion?”

She’s surprised to see me, much taller than I was in the past.

“This is delicious.”

She enjoys the food I serve her.

“So, are we trapped because of the fragment of time?”

How many thousands of days have passed in this repetition?

Could it have already reached tens of thousands of days?

Fortunately, the body does not age within this ‘fragment of time.’ The time contained here is only a day’s worth, too insignificant to cause aging.

However, it seems even I can’t prevent the wear and tear on the mind. At least, not with the mental strength of a ‘human’.

Nevertheless, I must endure.

Because this ‘fragment of time’ is a crack caused by my regression. Because I have a promise with you.

Therefore…

“Here. Brisket and fried rice.”

I am always waiting.

Elise.

Until you find the answer someday.

“…Isn’t that too much food?”

* * *

───Countless days pass,

And pass,

And pass again.

Having consumed nearly every type of food on the continent, I can only prepare meals we’ve already had, in this endlessly swelling time.

As my past becomes faint, my future scatters, and even my existence is in doubt during these tens of thousands of moments.

Today, Elise is back, eating her meal.

“This is delicious.”

Elise says, seemingly satisfied. Her expression seems okay, too.

Looking at her, I suddenly feel relieved. Elise is a person with many variables, showing various reactions.

If it had been someone else, they might have given up long ago.

They might have become less human than human, far more devastated than now.

“I’m glad you like it.”

I say quietly, turning to reach for ‘Cookie’ on the shelf.

Suddenly.

A sense of unease chills my brain.

‘This is delicious.’

The comment Elise just made echoes in my ears.

“…”

I freeze. I turn to look at Elise.

The food on her table is truffle cream bacon risotto.

I ask quietly,

“Do you find this delicious?”

Elise flicks her hair back with the back of her hand and nods.

“…Why are you asking such an embarrassing question? I was quite hungry.”

Elise responds calmly now, but I have a vast database.

A 「Notepad」 with memories of all kinds of food I’ve presented to Elise, and all her reactions.

Among them, the truffle cream bacon risotto is a dish I made exactly 3,805 days ago.

The reason why the database works so promptly is…

Elise, who used to be like a piglet, who didn’t pick her food and ate so much that her cheeks were chubby…

This was the only food she frowned upon while eating.

“…You.”

I place my hand on the table. I gently look at Elise across from me. Her expression hardens slightly, as if she senses something.

“You’ve escaped from the regression.”

“…”

She bites her lower lip slightly.

And then, with a sigh…

She answers with a sad face.

“Yes.”

* * *

Blossomed amidst countless repetitions.

It was a very faint possibility.

Kwaaaaaaaah!

The moment the lightning signaling the regeneration of the [Fragment] struck.

Elise, by sheer coincidence, stumbled at that exact moment, and in her stumbled state, she looked up at the lightning of the [Fragment].

The angle of her vision was skewed.

Not 45 degrees, not 60 degrees, not 90 degrees.

The core of the [Fragment] within the lightning, revealed only at a specific angle where coincidences overlapped without the slightest error.

Elise observed that ‘origin’. She ‘attracted’ its singularity towards herself.

It was a gap to dig into the answer.

It was an enlightenment to understand the principle of the [Fragment].

At the same time, it was the awakening of the 「Spectrum」.

She instinctively used magnetism to anchor herself.

To put it simply – she set the origin of the [Fragment] as the S-pole, and her existence as the N-pole.

Even if the [Fragment] collapsed, the origin would not break, so she preserved her existence by connecting herself to the origin.

She resisted the collapse and regeneration.

“What is this…”

Thus, Elise blankly stared into the void.

A spectacle she could not have witnessed in her original state.

The world disintegrating as cracks formed.

The sky crumbling like falling blossoms.

She blankly stared at the moments that seemed like illusions, where all natural objects came to a halt, until-

──Rustle.

Footsteps approaching from somewhere.

Elise quickly ‘pretended to stop’. It was relatively easy. All she had to do was hold her body with magnetism for a moment.

“You’ve worked hard.”

The warm voice that moistened her ear.

Slowly approaching, he looked at her and gently tidied his hair.

Shion Ascal.

Elise’s heart secretly pounded.

Suddenly, she remembered what he had said today.

‘You don’t need to handle it. It will pass like an ordinary day.’

A day that doesn’t need to be handled, an ordinary day.

If you don’t remember it, you don’t have to deal with it.

Then…

How much has Shion, instead of herself, handled so far?

How much time has he spent instead of herself?

“See you later.”

Soon he turned back, and the world of the [Fragment] was regenerated again.

But Elise, who had already changed, Elise who had maintained her memory and existence, could never go back to the way she was.

From that day on, Elise repeated her old actions.

She ate the meals he prepared, went on expeditions, froze pretending to stop at the moment of regression, and returned to Shion again.

He always treated her the same.

…And so, 30 days passed.

* * *

Elise looked at Shion with anxious eyes.

She worried whether he would secretly get angry or hit her, but…

Surprisingly, Shion shrugged his shoulders as if he was used to it.

“You’ve taken one step closer. Congratulations.”

He just smiled and looked at her.

Elise involuntarily pursed her lips.

“…Yeah.”

“Still haven’t found the exit?”

“Yeah. I kept exploring, but it seems far away. It’s hard without a map.”

She looked at Shion again with a relaxed heart.

“But, how many days have you been here?”

“Well, about 500 days?”

“…You’re lying.”

“Anyone would think it’s a lie. The time I’ve observed is only a month.”

“Oh~”

Shion chuckled as if he found it sharp.

“To be honest, it’s definitely been over three years.”

If counted by day, over a thousand days.

A painfully long time.

Such a difficult repetition.

Elise fiddled with her fingers as she spoke.

“……Thank you. For waiting.”

“There’s no need to thank me.”

“But how do I not regress?”

“It’s because of magnetism, isn’t it?”

“……Yes.”

How does he know? Did my future self tell him?

Elise pouted her lips for no reason.

“That’s right. It’s magnetism.”

Elise picked up a piece of wood from the farm floor. She manipulated it here and there with telekinesis. It was shaped like a camel’s face.

“Look at this. I’m going to imbue this camel piece with magnetism. To connect it to the source of the [Fragment].”

Whiiing─

Her magic power was imbued into the camel piece. There was no visible change, but it was definitely connected to the source.

“Like this, it won’t collapse even when it regenerates. What do you think?”

“What does it matter?”

“……It’s a hobby until I find the exit.”

In Elise’s opinion, the reason this world is painful is because there is no continuity. Anything you make will break by tomorrow.

But her magnetism can provide continuity.

Until she finds the exit, Shion can have a proper joy.

“Ah~ That’s right. I can make something.”

“That’s right. There are plenty of materials. There are stones, and there are trees.”

Elise murmured as she looked around the farm.

“I want to start by making a bed.”

“……”

A bed.

At that, Shion blinked silently. Elise’s face also turned red soon after.

“No, no. The bed is simply because my back hurts from sleeping only in a sleeping bag. What are you thinking right now? How vulgar-”

“Relax. There’s a hundred-year age difference.”

“What are you saying.”

At Shion’s joke, Elise also smiled faintly. Then, she offered the truffle cream bacon risotto on the table again.

“To be honest, this. It wasn’t to my taste.”

Shion smiled lightly.

“I know. I’ll make something else.”

* * *

……Day 5.

Elise resumed her exploration. She moved towards her goal, the ‘exit’. To avoid getting lost, she left a mark at the end of each day.

A pretty stone. She connected it to the source and stuck it like a milestone, which regenerates at the entrance of Ascal Farm every day.

She just needs to use it as a guide and move forward.

“……End of today.”

One a day, she has already planted five milestones.

Since the day is almost over, it’s time to go back.

Elise hummed a tune as she walked to her home─the greenhouse.

What’s for dinner tonight? Sirloin steak? Tomahawk steak?

Thinking of Shion waiting for her, a silly smile spread across her face.

……Day 63.

“Now, now. Pay attention. This is the map I made.”

Ascal Farm. Elise started a lecture with a board she made from somewhere.

“My 「Spectrum」 radar only works when the sun is down. So I can only explore for about 6 hours a day. But if I follow the markers I’ve set… I think we might be able to get out in about 8 months.”

The area contained in this [Fragment] is surprisingly large, so even if we mark our path, it will take at least 8 months.

In other words, we can escape in 8 months!

“Sounds good.”

“……Is that all you have to say? We can escape.”

Shion responded in a different way.

“I’ll make you a salmon steak today. It’s your favorite.”

“……”

Elise swallowed her saliva.

“I don’t really like it that much. Are you mistaken?”

She closed the lid of Vodka with a snort, but when she turned around, she quietly smiled.

……Day 143.

“Camel… complete.”

Elise carved a camel that looked like a horse.

She plans to place it on one side of the farm. For interior decoration, and to sit and think like a rocking chair.

“……Come to think of it.”

Elise quietly looked around the vinyl house.

A lot has changed in 100 days.

There’s a hammock, a bed, a desk, a pool table, a ping-pong table… These are all furniture anchored by her magnetism.

It’s starting to look like a place where people live.

“Elise.”

Suddenly, Shion called her. Elise looked back at him and smile.

“What, Shion?”

He showed her a bundle of papers.

“Should we write novels for each other?”

“……A novel?”

“Yeah. We’re bored. But it’s not fun to read what I’ve written, so let’s write for each other.”

For Shion, it was an effort to maintain sanity.

Elise cleared her throat and nodded.

“Well… that could be fun. But do you remember where we first met?”

It’s not that she didn’t remember, but she had a dream today.

A dream of meeting Shion, who was suffering from Magical Leukemia.

“……I’m not sure. Where was it?”

Shion made a face as if he really didn’t know, but it must have been an act.

“It was at the hospital. You couldn’t even look me in the eye then.”

“Oh, was it?”

Looking at Shion’s vague smile… Elise couldn’t resist his cuteness.

She hit his chest with her forehead.

……Day 230.

“Shion. Did you write this as a novel?”

Elise frowned and shook the paper manuscripts.

Shion’s novel [The Rebellion of the Family].

The protagonist destroys a family called Lavri, but it’s too brutal. It seems like a comedy novel.

“……Is it bad?”

“Of course.”

“Is that so. Yours is fun. Is there a second volume?”

Shion, reading her novel, seemed quite happy. Does he like crime thrillers? It’s not a novel that can be read happily.

Elise slowly approached him from behind.

“I have to start writing the second volume now……”

She rested her chin on his broad shoulder.

Quietly, she rubbed her face against his and whispered.

“I could read yours too, if you take out the brain part.”

“Is that a compliment?”

“Uh-huh……”

“Why do you keep rubbing against me?”

Shion pinched her cheek. She smiled bashfully because she enjoyed his touch.

……Day 330.

Swoosh──.

A downpour on the mountain.

Elise found a river.

A river swollen with water, raging like a dragon.

“……”

She stared blankly at it.

Her intuition, her 「Spectrum」 magnetism, told her.

Cross this river, and it’s the end.

Surely── there exists an exit beyond.

But……

“The water is too high.”

Elise didn’t want to cross.

The current was rough. She could be swept away by the flow.

If something went wrong, she could die, right?

Nodding, Elise anchored a large rock in the middle of the river with her magnetism.

A stepping stone.

If she came once a day, she could make a stepping stone in 60 days.

60 days would be enough.

Her novel was not yet finished.

The novel she had to show Shion was incomplete.

Just a little more.

Elise quietly turned around.

……Day 350.

“Shion. The current of the river is too strong, so it might take a little more time. Is that okay?”

Elise spoke to Shion. She was somewhat anxious, but fortunately, he smiled at her. As he chopped vegetables, he asked.

“It’s alright. Is the book finished?”

Did he also want to be with her?

Elise responded with satisfaction.

“Not yet. It will be out soon. You can look forward to the third volume.”

“Really? I’m looking forward to it.”

Elise went over to him cooking and hugged him with both arms. Shion chuckled and patted her back.

“Ah-ah-ah-”

She didn’t fall off after all. She clung to him like a burr.

“Are you a gum?”

“……What are you saying to the writer. Let me recharge a bit.”

There’s no need for pretense now.

Just show him who you are, as you are.

There’s no world in this [Fragment].

There is no Petra family, no revenge for Shion, no external values.

There’s only Shion, who waited for her for over a thousand days, and herself, who realized the return for him…

“I wrote it in an interesting way. You can look forward to it.”

“Alright. Let’s eat.”

“Okay.”

Today’s menu was pork belly steak.

……Day 450.

Boom─!

Elise completed the stepping stones. She buried a total of 100 stones in the river.

Now, they could cross it sufficiently.

Beyond that… she could escape with Shion.

But.

But.

But.

Dark thoughts kept sprouting in Elise’s heart.

“I… don’t want to leave.”

She mumbled blankly.

The times she spent with Shion kept coming to mind.

Decorating the greenhouse together, playing billiards, table tennis, Go, chess, writing books, writing poems, reading each other’s work, making silly jokes.

Eating during the day, drinking beer at night, learning the taste of whiskey for the first time, watching the collapse while looking at the stars.

All those days… were precious to her.

The one year spent with him was greater than the sum of the happiness of 18 years.

Once they exit, it’s the end.

The [Fragment] itself will disappear.

The ‘Origin’ will be destroyed.

Everything connected to the Origin will disappear.

The furniture of the Ascal farm, the novels she wrote, the wooden camel, the billiard table, the table tennis table, and even─

Her own Memory.

The loss of Memory.

To Elise, who has lived for over 400 days, it’s as good as death.

Even if another Elise lives on afterwards, that Elise is not her now.

Now, herself in this [Fragment]…

“I don’t want to die.”

She wants to stay here forever.

With Shion.