Memoirs of the Returnee
chapter-285

It’s pure white.

Every part my eyes touch is pure white.

But it’s not cozy.

Quite the opposite, in fact.

It’s extremely cold and icy.

The howling gale seems intent on carving up my skin, and the hammer-like chill taps at my bones.

It’s an extreme environment.

“……lt's quite fascinating.”

Of course, I’m fine. As I’ve said time and again, the ‘outside’ of my body is quite sturdy.

“Looks like they’ve really got money to burn.”

This place is a massive magic space created by Edsilla National University just to assess their students. It’s an excessive use of funds, but anyway.

I'm traversing the snowfield as a member of the rescue team.

My equipment consists only of a detector, compass, radio, telescope, rope, climbing gear, and three days’ worth of rations.

The landscape is hardly distinguishable from the Antarctic or Arctic.

The survival and rescue teams face different situations, but they share the same environment. Somewhere here, knights waiting for survival are trapped.

I turned on the [SZX-9500J in my eyes. I looked far into the distance, but there were no significant signals.

If the goal was survival, they would be desperately sending out signals.

“Is it that vast?”

It seems highly likely. Considering the size of the entrance we came through, it could be as large as a city.

Crunch— Crunch-

I moved forward on the surface mixed with ice and snow, setting my direction with the compass and mapping it out in my mind.

Then, suddenly, I stopped.

Swoosh…

The snowbank shifted following my footsteps. Right in front of me was a mysterious slope. I examined the area closely.

It was a crevasse in the glacier's surface.

“……This is suspicious.”

I tightly packed the snow into a hard ball, like a stone.

Whoosh— I threw it down below.

“……”

I listened intently.

No matter how long I waited, no sound came back up.

“Definitely suspicious.”

There must be someone down there. Trusting my intuition, I attached a rope to my waist. I hammered a piton into a nearby solid glacier and tied the rope to it.

And then, I descended straight down.

Ssssshhhh-

I jumped down into the crevasse.

Crack. Johanna clenched the tablet in her hands without realizing it. Her heart churned at the sight of him falling. Her mood soured instantly.

“……lsn’t he injured?”

This guy recklessly throws himself around. He could have easily half-assed this kind of evaluation test and no one would have said anything.

And there’s no footage from underground. The drones can’t follow down there.

“After pocketing the money”

Johanna was furious. If they took money under the pretense of broadcasting the test process, they should have anticipated this kind of situation. They should have planted cameras underground.

She aimlessly tapped on the tablet.

“We've arrived.”

Meanwhile, they had reached the hospital. Johanna clicked her tongue and got out of the car.

[Spring Water Hospital], where Doctor Yu Hains serves as the director.

“……IS this the place?”

It looked extremely shabby, situated on a rural plot of land.

“Yes. This is it.”

Johanna entered regardless. There were quite a few patients waiting, but she pushed her way straight to the director’s office.

“Oh, urn, ma’am! The director is still with a patient”

“l’m not a ma'am.”

She didn’t exchange pleasantries and just pushed open the door to the director’s office. Director Yu Hains was in the middle of examining another patient.

Johanna glared at him in silence.

“……You've arrived.”

Yu Hains responded calmly, as if he had been expecting her.

For Johanna, his expression was incredibly irritating.

The crevasse below was like a cave.

…Hmm.

I walked, craning my neck to look around. The interior was pitch-black, and not a sound could be heard.

It seemed like the magical energy pooled at the bottom was causing a barrier-like phenomenon.

…Ah.

No matter how much I moved my mouth, no voice came out.

Fortunately, my eyes adjusted quickly. The night vision mode of the [SZX-9500J was in operation.

…There should be someone around here.

I muttered to myself as I moved forward.

Thud, thud, thud, thud.

I imagined the sounds I couldn’t hear for what must have been dozens of minutes.

Suddenly, I found someone.

In the darkness, a woman with her arms and legs bound.

Ah!

I rushed over to her. I shook her shoulder to wake her up first, then cut the ropes on her arms and legs.

“Are you okay”

I started to say but stopped abruptly. It was because of her face.

I muttered dumbly.

…Tei?

Tei.

My old friend, lost and forgotten. The face of that person whose memory I couldn’t even recall…

No, that's not it.

Upon closer inspection, it wasn’t Tei.

It was Theia.

I stared blankly as Theia slowly got up.

Why was Professor Theia tied up here?

As I pondered,

Snap—!

She flicked her finger. All the darkness lifted, and sound returned.

“Congratulations…”

Theia, who turned to look at my face, seemed slightly surprised. She chewed her lip and then nodded seriously.

“Congratulations. You’ve rescued someone trapped in the dark crevasse. Bonus points are awarded for the courage to jump into danger and the ability to navigate a place where sight and hearing are lost. Plus 10 points.”

I blinked. It was quite an unexpected event.

“Ah… Yes. There were bonus points too. Is that why you’ve been hiding until now?”

“Yes.”

“I thought you were Tei.”

Words slipped out without thinking.

Theia furrowed her brow slightly.

“Who is that? Every time you see me, you call me Tei.”

“Ah… Well, a friend.”

I shrugged my shoulders.

“A friend whose whereabouts I don’t even know.”

Then a faint sigh escaped through Theia’s teeth. For me, the reason for the sigh was unknown.

Tsk- She clicked her tongue.

“Do you want to find that friend?”

“…Yes? Do you know Tei?”

“ITI explain after the test is over. For now, let’s finish the rescue. How do you plan to get back up?”

“Ah, right.”

Rescue doesn’t end with just coming down.

We have to go back up together.

“The method is…”

I untied the rope fastened to my waist. Clutching it, I hesitated and then cautiously asked Theia.

“…The rope’s a bit short, so it looks like we’ll have to hold each other. Is that okay with you?”

At the same time, Johanna waited until Yu Hains’s consultation was over and then took a seat.

“……”

“……”

The doctor and patient looked at each other without a word.

A simple staring contest, or perhaps a battle of wits to take control of the situation.

Finally, Yu Hains was the first to speak.

“What brings you here?”

“……YOU know, don’t you?”

Johanna clicked her tongue and crossed her legs.

“You said to come when I'm ready to admit it.”

“Hm.”

Yu Hains made an odd sound as he rifled through the charts in the drawer and pulled one out.

Every reaction from him was irritating to Johanna.

“Hey. Dr. Yu Hains. If you ever disclose this matter”

“Patient confidentiality is not breached.”

“……”

Yu Hains spoke stiffly, like some NPC.

Well, that figures. The man is frustratingly principled.

To put it simply, he’s the stubborn type who’d rather die than be threatened.

Johanna, who has seen her fair share of death, knows this all too well.

“ U n d e rstoo d ”

Yu Hains checked something on the chart.

“That Lady Johanna has fallen in love with Shion Ascal is”

“No.”

Johanna’s face flushed as she quickly reached out her hand.

“Don’t use that word so directly, will you?”

“Yes. I understand that Lady Johanna has developed special feelings for Shion.”

“……”

It’s slightly unsatisfactory, but it’s tolerable.

“However, I am a doctor. While I possess systematic knowledge in almost all areas of medicine, my specialty is oncology. In matters of psychiatry and psychology, I can only offer advice akin to a p rescript ion.”

“……So?”

Johanna rested her chin on her hand.

He told her to come when she admits to being in love, but now that it’s come to this, he’s spouting nonsense.

“l’m becoming increasingly dissatisfied, Dr. Yu Hains.”

“What I can do as a doctor is limited to prescribing. I would like to offer Lady Johanna two prescriptions, and you may choose.”

Yu Hains extended an envelope.

“Here is the first prescription.”

“……What is it?”

“lf Lady Johanna wishes to discard those ‘special feelings’ for Shion Ascal, use this.”

“Discard my feelings?”

Yu Hains took a deep breath and nodded.

“As I’ve said repeatedly, it’s the easiest method. Simply erasing the feelings.”

“The easiest way?”

“Yes. Lady Johanna, acknowledging love is a difficult path. You will surely come to regret it.”

Yu Hains’s words were laden with meaning. However, Johanna did not ponder deeply.

It would surely be a difficult path. She was the eldest daughter of a great house, while Shion was a man with nothing.

That fact alone would be torment enough for both of them. Perhaps they would marry, perhaps they would divorce.

“……”

Johanna looked inside the envelope. There were pills inside.

Her brow furrowed.

“Pills, huh? This kind of medicine won't work.”

Her feelings for Shion Ascal had grown to the point where they could not be suppressed by some tranquilizer. They had grown beyond her awareness.

“This is a completely different medication from the previous ones. It’s a drug I've synthesized with my [SpectrumJ .

“……A different drug?”

Johanna took out a pill.

But, there was no way to discern anything just by its appearance.

She looked up at Doctor Yu Hains again.

“What kind of drug is this?”

It wouldn’t be poison… not from this doctor. There’s no doctor more conscientious of his profession.

“lt’s an emotional suppressant.”

“How does it work?”

“lt precisely blocks the parts of the brain that become active and the neurohormones that are secreted when Lady Johanna sees Shion Ascal. It’s a drug I've patented and validated.”

In other words, it would return the current Johanna to the original Johanna.

It was quite a remarkable drug.

Johanna flicked the drug envelope with her finger.

“……Why did you create such a drug?”

“As I’ve said. Acknowledging love is difficult and painful.”

True to his words, Yu Hains was a man who had experienced loss. He must have tried to forget through medication.

Johanna asked bluntly.

“S0, block the emotions with drugs?”

“Yes. However, it’s not a drug that works all the time; you must take it whenever you feel distressed.”

Then, a question suddenly arose.

“But why did you stop taking it? Wasn’t it a drug you made for yourself?”

Johanna looked into Yu Hains’s eyes.

Yu Hains answered with an impassive expression.

“……Because I acknowledged love.”

“……”

What a crazy thing to say. This guy, at times, seems the most rational, yet he’s ridiculously emotional in the strangest ways.

As Johanna pocketed the medicine, she asked.

“What’s the second prescription?”

“Here it is.”

It was another envelope.

“This prescription is for later, when the time comes”

Yu Hains seemed about to say something, but Johanna immediately opened the envelope.

Inside was just a single note.

“Haah.”

Yu Hains let out a faint sigh. Johanna saw the two characters written on it.

Snap—her temples throbbed with a pulse.

“……Are you joking?”

Johanna showed the note to Yu Hains.

[Confess]

Her gaze turned harsh, but Yu Hains faced her calmly.

“Yes. This is more of an advice. I cannot disclose a patient’s personal information, after all.”

“Then there’s no reason for me to be here. You asshole.”

“No, there is. You have two options left.”

Yu Hains pointed to Johanna’s envelope of medicine.

“lf you dislike confessing, then take the medicine. It will be the easier path.

However, if you wish to hear the ‘truth’ from Shion Ascal.”

He pointed to the note that read [Confess].

“Confess your love to Shion Ascal.”

“……Are you insane?”

“lt can’t be helped. I assure you, Shion Ascal will never tell Lady Johanna that he loves her.”

In an instant, Johanna’s eyes narrowed sharply. A small wave surged in her heart.

She asked in a low, sunken voice.

“Are you saying he doesn’t like me?”

“lt’s the opposite.”

Yu Hains said something cryptic. But that cryptic statement was probably the best for now.

Damn the 1 cannot disclose a patient's personal information’ rule.

“However, if Lady Johanna confesses your true feelings first, then Shion Ascal will surely tell you the truth as well.”

“……”

Johanna listened quietly.

She couldn’t know how much this man knew, or to what extent. It was a truly frustrating asymmetry of information.

“The prescription has been given. Now the choice is Lady Johanna's to make.”

“…… Fi n e.”

Johanna put both prescriptions into her coat pocket. As she turned to leave, she pulled out her tablet.

Right now, she was curious to know if Shion Ascal had escaped from the crevasse.

—But then.

“……What is this.”

He was with some woman.

“Who is this crazy bitch?”

Suddenly, a fierce flame ignited in Johanna’s grip.