Once Upon A Time, There Was A Spirit Sword Mountain
chapter-51

Chapter 51: Don’t Do Shameful Things and You Don’t Need to Worry That Happiness Won’t Come Knocking at the Door

Translator: AL_Squad Editor: Chrissy

“Haha, why are there so many acquaintances here? Junior Brother Yue Yun, Junior Brother Zhu Qin, Junior Sister Yue Xinyao, Junior Sister Wen Yin… Hey, there’s also that one hiding behind the tree over there, he also seems familiar. Hoy, what are you doing sneaking behind the tree? Do you have the urge to take a dump?”

Wang Lu showed up, greeted everyone with a laugh and eventually turned his attention to someone hiding behind a tree in embarrassment.

However, after asking for the second time and found out that the opposite party had no intention to come out from behind the tree, Wang Lu was too lazy to prod further. This time, he came to the Heavenly Policy Hall not to be intimate with someone else’s sister.

Thus, he quickly set aside that extras and cast his vision on the protagonist, the officer Senior Brother who looked somewhat alerted, as if facing an archenemy.

“Senior Brother Mu Xiao, don’t be so nervous. I just came here to bring some information for you to register. Although the time is not quite right, a diligent official like you shouldn’t mind such overtime work, right?”

Honestly, Mu Xiao, who loved being the Heavenly Policy Hall official, really didn’t mind the overtime, but watching Wang Lu smiling as if he was harboring malicious intention like that, he became extremely tense! Especially when he saw Wang Lu took out a stack of information, his heart could not help but thump.

The information in Wang Lu’s hand has the same type as what Yue Yun had just submitted—the Sincerity Papers filled with written report of the Experiential Learning, for determining the result of the experiential learning, and as an important proof to claim the reward points.

Sincerity Paper was a special product manufactured by the Elders of the Heavenly Sword Hall, with powerful prohibition spell cast into it. The spell has only one function: no one could write a lie in this Sincerity Paper. This was to ensure that the text that was written there was true.

Of course, although the prohibition spell in the Sincerity Paper was impossible to break, a talented Jindan Stage cultivator could at least deceive the spell. Based on Wang Lu and Yue Yun’s cultivation levels, their submitted report on the Sincerity Paper should not be fake.

Watching Wang Lu take out a stack of Sincerity Papers and notice that the topic was experiential learning report, Yue Yun from the side looked at Wang Lu in surprise, and then at Wen Bao. “Senior Brother Wang Lu, you also took the experiential learning? No wonder I couldn’t find you these last few days.”

“Oh? You guys took this too?”

Yue Yun nodded. “That’s right. Because our last experiential learning was interrupted, we planned to do it all over again. Originally, we wanted to invite you with us, but you were nowhere to be found. By the way, Senior Brother, where did you go in this experiential learning? And who’s with you?”

“Oh, of course, it’s the Small Clear Sky Peak. With my current level, except for the Small Clear Sky Peak, where else could I go?”

Yue Yun was even more surprised. “Senior Brother had also gone to the Small Clear Sky? How come we’ve never seen you guys?”

A certain crown prince chimed in, “For six days we did the experiential learning in the Small Clear Sky Peak but never found Senior Brother or anyone’s trails. Senior Brother Wang Lu, did you and Junior Brother Wen Bao really go to the Small Clear Sky Peak?”

Inwardly, Mu Xiao cried out, “That’s right, based on Non-Phase Peak’s Master past conduct, which she must’ve passed onto her disciple, cheating in the report is as simple as drinking water to them. He said he went to the small clear sky to do the experiential learning, but he probably just spent his entire week at the Non-Phase Peak and then used a hidden technique to deceive the Sincerity Paper, fabricating a ‘legendary big adventure’, and finally came here to claim the thousands of challenge points… This routine is very logical and perfectly consistent with the usual style of the Non-Phase Peak! From the rumors, that Jindan Stage Elders often wrote some bullsh*t ‘having a stroke of bad luck’ to deceive the Sincerity Paper so that she can fool the Disciplinary Elder! There is a precedent for this!”

“Fortunately, this time I met with Yue Yun, who happens to also go to the Small Clear Sky; as witnesses, they have exposed Wang Lu’s lies! Haha, you’re good, but you never thought you’d be exposed here!”

However, the next moment, Wang Lu replied quite naturally, “If you didn’t see us, that’s normal. These past few days, we’ve basically spent our time in the center of the Azure Dragon Gorge, while you guys spent your times on the periphery, so how could you see us?”

“Azure Dragon Gorge!?”

Upon hearing those three words from Wang Lu, Yue Yun’s soul almost flew to the heaven out of fright. “Senior Brother, you guys actually went to the Azure Dragon Gorge!? Dare I ask who the team leader in your team? I-isn’t this too bold?”

Wang Lu laughed. “I am the team leader.”

“Senior Brother, you’re the team leader!?” Yue Yun once again utterly shocked; never in his dreams did he think that Senior Brother Wang Lu would be so daring; a body refining disciple actually dared to be the team leader! However, after he was frozen for a long time, he was suddenly aware of another problem. “Then, wouldn’t it mean, it was only you and Wen Bao, two people, on the team?”

“Yes, what’s wrong?”

What’s wrong!? A body refining disciple and a ninth level Qi Cultivating Stage disciple actually dared to run to the Azure Dragon Gorge to do experiential learning there!? That’s simply suicide!

“Haha, don’t be so surprised like that. Since we wanted to take the challenge mode, of course, we must have the spirit of ‘courting disaster’.”

Challenge mode!? What kind of thing was that!? Senior Brother did you really want to die so badly!?

However, looking at the jubilant Wang Lu and that stack of paper, no matter how inconceivable it was, Yue Yun had to accept this shocking conclusion: These guys really went to the Azure Dragon Gorge and also returned safe and sound!

“H-how did they achieve this? Even if the environment in the Azure Dragon Gorge is special; as long as one understands the method, surviving is relatively easier than in the Lotus Pond… But with two rookie newcomers, no matter what, it was simply impossible!”

“Alas, Successor Disciple is indeed a Successor Disciple; they could do what others could not. With such a shining result, our second experiential learning result is like a darkness instead! Although we unexpectedly gained challenge points, which was good, but with Senior Brother, with just two people in his team, going to the Azure Dragon Gorge and successfully coming back, no matter how the results are counted, the challenge points would definitely be much higher!”

“It’s not all my credits, there’s still my teammate here, isn’t there?” Wang Lu said and patted the fatty next to him.

Yue Yun was slightly dumbfounded… Wen Bao?

It wasn’t because he had a prejudice against Wen Bao, but from a team leader’s objective point of view, with slow movement, bad spell casting, and extreme sword art, Wen Bao wasn’t an ideal experiential learning partner. His only plus was… Oh, Yue Yun admitted that he really couldn’t think of the plus side of having Wen Bao as a partner.

However, Wang Lu chose to turn this waste into a treasure; with such a good for nothing partner, Wang Lu has completed a shockingly frightening feat!

All the other people were as surprised as Yue Yun. Zhu Qin and Wen Yin were stunned; no matter how other people persuaded them, they would never believe that the retarded stupid fatty was actually able to finish the greatest challenge far better than them. And the youth standing behind the tree tightly clenched his fist until it bled!

From two years ago, when they all started together as fellow disciples, Wang Zhong was very clear on how unbearably wasteful Wen Bao was. Because of the rank of his spirit root, the Senior Brothers actually invested more in teaching Wen Bao than him and Zhu Qin. However, two years passed by, and he was still as good for nothing as in the beginning! Several of the Senior Brothers even secretly thought that their Master and Elders had inadvertently let a waste to enter the sect.

However, in only a month of effort, this waste had completely turned all their expectation!

It was Wang Lu, and only Wang Lu, who has the ability to miraculously turn waste into treasure. Wang Zhong never thought that Wang Lu would fully use the waste to complete the challenge mode, in which Wen Bao must’ve played a great role. But, to use a waste in a significant role, wouldn’t that the same as turning waste into treasure? Come to think of it; Wang Lu seemed to always excel at turning waste into treasure. Two years ago, wasn’t it also because he was following by his side that a mountain village errand boy could become a Spirit Sword’s Sect talented disciple?

Thinking of this, Wang Zhong secretly leaned over from behind the tree, just in time to see Wang Lu make that plump figure the center of attention; his heart could not help but ache. That position used to belong to him, but he handed it to someone else!

Was he feeling regret? If he said no, that would be lying to himself. However… even if he could re-do it again, he would still insist on his present choice… Perhaps.

For a while, each person drowned in their own thoughts when a gentle-as-water woman lightly sent her own congratulations.

“Congratulations, two Senior Brothers, for completing this amazing challenge.”

In reply to this, Wang Lu just chuckled. “You flatter me Junior Sister.” However, Wen Bao somewhat lost his nerve; his fat cheeks suddenly flushed.

“Junior Sister, um, you congratulated the wrong person. In fact, I-I did nothing, this stupid is a total failure. It’s all Senior Brother, Senior Brother did um, that…”

Seeing this retard, under Yue Xinyao’s gaze, “dancing and gesticulating” wildly like someone having spasm attack, Wang Lu secretly kicked him from the back to stop this ugly performance before it could create more damage.

However, Yue Xinyao actually did not mind that; she just smiled. “No need to be too modest, Senior Brother Wen, apart from everything else, to have the courage to follow Senior Brother Wang Lu, a mere two people braving into the Azure Dragon Gorge was not an easy feat at all. In retrospect, perhaps Xinyao wouldn’t have Senior Brother Wen’s guts.”

Hearing this remark, Wen Bao’s tears nearly poured down, “Oh, she knows me! Moreover, she knows me like a bosom friend!”

“Junior Sister, how could you say that? I was simply lucky.”

Yue Xinyao said, “A person’s luck is a power that can’t be ignored in the Immortal Cultivation Path. Oh, Senior Brother’s affinity with Immortality is truly enviable. I think when the Elders received Senior Brother into the sect, they highly valued your affinity with the Immortality.”

However, before Yue Xinyao could continue. Wang Lu suddenly interrupted, “Junior Sister, if you continue to praise him, not only will his tears pour down, he will even wet himself. This happiness came too sudden; you nearly scared him that much.”

“Huh?” Yue Xinyao tilted her head in confusion.

Fortunately, at this time, someone promptly asked a question, “Wang Lu… Senior Brother, something really bothers me, in Azure Dragon Gorge, where the monsters are numerous, even if one of you diverted their attention, there are still no easy way to deal with the situation. However, you’ve survived there for nearly a week, could you tell me how did you do that?”

Wang Lu smiled and turned his head. “Senior Brother Mu Xiao, are you suspecting the authenticity of our experiential learning?”

Mu Xiao shook his head. “No, I am just curious because in your report, you didn’t describe your experiential learning process but just wrote out the result. As such, I am curious on how you accomplished this miracle.”

Upon hearing Mu Xiao’s remark, the other people also became interested in how did two rookies cultivator survive a week in the Azure Dragon Gorge. That place was the land of the dead where category three monsters roamed. It was not easy to find a place to survive!

“Very simple. We just looked for a few powerful monsters and defeat them and then took over their lairs; wouldn’t that solve the problem?”

“Beating powerful monsters and taking over their lairs!?”

Mu Xiao and his little friends were shocked! This was one of those “let them eat cake” kind of answers! If they could beat powerful monsters, why would they bother to find a place in the first place? He had the nerve to say this!

Mu Xiao asked again, “The so-called powerful monsters, you probably refer to…?”

“Little Thunder, Purple Green Vine, Giant Brute, and so on.”

Mu Xiao was surprised. “Giant Brute? If I’m not mistaken, not long ago, the sect organized a large-scale hunting expedition, and the target was this Giant Brute! Junior Brother Yue Yun should have also participated in it, and he had an outstanding performance.”

Yue Yun ruefully smiled. “That’s right. At that time, we, a team of seven people, went on a punitive expedition, and our target was exactly this category three middle-rank Giant Brute who had accidentally succeeded in refining the internal alchemy. Although we broke his internal alchemy, we still suffered a crushing defeat. The so-called outstanding performance is nothing more than my effort to cover the other Junior Brothers and Sisters from Misty Peak while they fled. It’s too shameful to mention.”

Mu Xiao sighed. “I remember that the team leader that time was Junior Brother XX from the Misty Peak. He almost completed the Qi Cultivating Stage and was only one step away from the Foundation Establishment Stage. The other team members were also veterans in the experiential learning, yet it was still a total defeat. Although the Giant Brute was only a category three middle-rank monster, its crafty techniques and strange methods emerged one after another, causing cultivators who are still in the Qi Cultivating Stage to have difficulty contending against it.”

And then, people once again turned their gaze to Wang Lu.

A full seven members team were defeated, yet the two of them… How exactly did they do it?

Wang Lu smiled, took out something from his travel bag and showed it before the others.

It was a piece of golden colored slender tassel-shaped thing.

Seeing this, Yue Yun’s pupils constricted, while Mu Xiao took two steps back; his face turned pale. Zhu Qin’s jaws were wide open as he shook his head in disbelief… The Heavenly Policy Hall suddenly turned deathly quiet.

Only Wen Yin, who didn’t recognize the thing, naively wondered, “Senior Brother Wang Lu, this is…”

The nearby Zhu Qin hastily interrupted, “Junior Sister Wen Yin, don’t ask!”

However, it was too late. Wang Lu laughed. “Thank you for asking, Junior Sister, this thing, is the Giant Brute’s p*nis!”

“Giant Brute’s…p*nis? What does that mean?”

Wen Yin tilted her head, revealing a puzzled expression. Her slightly frowning eyebrows and pursed pink lips looked like a pure white flower.

Then, a pair of evil hands abruptly plucked it from the ground.

“The so-called Giant Brute’s p*nis, is the giant man’s genitalia used for procreation, as well as secretion of body’s waste fluid. If we used the human organ similar to it, it would be…”

Before he finished his words, Wen Yin had screamed; her cheeks turned rosy, and she took a few steps backward. “Senior Brother Wang Lu, you’re too improper! How could you come up with such a dirty thing!”

Wang Lu was also stunned. “Junior Sister, why did you say that? This is just a genital! And it’s not even a human genital, but a monster’s! What is the difference between this and the sheep p*nis and dog treasure that were served as food in the Carefree Peak cafeteria? Compared to them, this Giant Brute’s penis has parts of its internal alchemy, which makes it really valuable!”

Wen Yin’s shame and anger mixed into one. “Th-those are also dirty, okay!”

“I made sure that this is clean you know!”

“I don’t mean that kind of clean. It, it’s just obscene to look at them raw like that!”

“Obscene to look at? That’s a very serious prejudice.” Wang Lu’s expression turned serious. “Genital is a very broad concept. Junior Sister, the top center parts of the flower are usually the plant’s genitals, so according to your statements, then…”

“Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah I don’t want to hear it!” Wen Yin shook her head, which caused strands of her hair fell on her temples. At the same time ,her cute little nose wrinkled; she then made a face to Wang Lu. “Senior Brother, you’re an annoying troublemaker! I don’t want to talk with you!”

“Tsk, the little girl is too naive.” Failing to show off, Wang Lu reluctantly put the Giant Brute’s penis away. In any case, he had succeeded in providing the necessary evidence.

Then, he went back to talk about the main topic.

“Senior Brother Mu Xiao, this time, we came to you, in addition to submitting the experiential learning report, we also want to claim the challenge points.”

Mu Xiao inwardly groaned, thinking, “Here it comes…”

“Senior Brother Wang Lu, how much is your total points?”

Wang Lu chuckled. “According to the sect scoring rule about the experiential learning, in my calculation, the total challenge points should be two thousand eight hundred and ninety points.”

Poof!

Everyone suddenly had the impulse to throw up every liquid in their bodies!

Two thousand eight hundred and ninety! Although they had expected that Wang Lu, in this experiential learning, to have a particularly abundant harvest, but when the final result came out, it was still so nerve-wracking that people nearly vomited blood!

Wang Lu sighed. “Our sect scoring system encourages disciples to take extreme risk. Although it appears that the rewards for some extreme actions are limited, taking into account of those that successfully completed the challenges in succession, the rewards would add up. So, the bigger the risk, the bigger the income will be. I, who have diligently studied in the Teng Cloud Hall for more than two years, almost can’t overtake the reward from this risky travel. Alas, cultivation life is indeed as lonely as snow!”

“Lonely my ass! Give me a break, you nearly got three thousand points in just a week! As for us? Earning a point alone already make us more than happy! Quickly give us our happiness back!”

While the Junior Brothers and Sisters wanted to cry but have no tears, Yue Yun sighed and tried to lighten up the atmosphere. “Immortal Cultivation is indeed going against the heaven’s will; if there’s no seeking-survival-in-adversity risky behavior in a cultivator, that cultivator won’t go far on the path to immortality. Senior Brother Wang Lu has given a very good example for us, we should be like him…”

Speaking to this, Yue Yun was suddenly tongue-tied. Should they do what Wang Lu just did? Bring the dead fatty to earn points at the Azure Dragon Gorge? That’s suicide…

He shook his head and then continued, “In short, today, our two teams have successfully completed the experiential learning, which can be described as double happiness. Why don’t we take this opportunity to have a meal together?”

Upon hearing this suggestion, Wang Lu looked at Zhu Qin’s complex expression, at the youth who was still hiding behind the tree, and then at Mu Xiao’s pale countenance.

“In this kind of atmosphere, how could you ask these people to eat together? Yue Yun, oh, Yue Yun, an honest person like you really have a strooong eyesight!”

Without any other choice, someone with high IQ had to violently end this impasse. “After exercise, it is advisable not to eat. Everybody here has just finished the experiential learning, so let’s just call it a day.”

“…”

In the moment of silence that ensued after that remark, Yue Yun finally agreed. “You’re right; we are all tired. Let’s just postponed the meal for another day. But, as I am the host, you guys should give me face, okay!”

“Of course, of course!”

After finally feeling relieved, the crowd soon dispersed one by one, except for the three people.

Because Wang Lu didn’t leave, Wen Bao didn’t dare to follow the others. Being intently looked at by Wang Lu, the soles of Mu Xiao’s feet were rooted to the ground, making him unable to leave.

Thinking about that a hundred spirit stones for each point bet, Mu Xiao’s heart became distressed. The savings that he had accumulated for more than thirty years plus his nearly three years of subsidy for working at the Heavenly Policy Hall, which was worth around ten to twenty thousand spirit stones in total… was still not enough to pay for the bet!

Thinking to this, Mu Xiao suddenly gritted his teeth, “What am I afraid of!? Big deal! At worst, I’ll just go to the sword tomb and live in seclusion for a hundred years! Or I’ll just look for Master and persuade him to pay my subsidy in advance. No matter what, I will pay back my debt!”

Wang Lu laughed. “Senior Brother Mu Xiao, it’s late, are you interested in having a meal together? My treat.”

“Humph! I even dare to go to the sword tomb, do you think I am scared to eat?”

“Haha, Senior Brother, that’s the spirit!” Wang Lu nodded his head. “I know that there’s an excellent restaurant near here, but I don’t think you’ve ever been there.”

“Humph, I don’t even hesitate to go through mountains of daggers and sea of flames! Lead the way!”

The nearby Wen Bao could not help but wonder. “Senior Brother Wang Lu, why do I feel like the atmosphere isn’t quite right? Is there something between you and Senior Brother Mu Xiao?”

Wang Lu earnestly said, “He and I are pure, we have no secret relationship whatsoever.”