Regressor Instruction Manual
chapter-76

Being trusted by the regressor was of course a good thing, but I didn’t like this type of trust. I didn’t know what his evaluation of me was like, but if I were to exaggerate a little, I was like a child that still needed Kim Hyun-Sung’s attention and love. It was even more applicable when it came to a growth plan like this. Of course, if I were asked why I was making such a fuss over something simple as changing jobs and increasing our stats, I wouldn’t really have an answer. Still, I wasn’t used to this kind of overestimation.

‘Don’t trust me so much, you bastard.’

Although I had been giving off the vibe that I could do well on my own, I didn’t like the current situation. However, I completely understood why Kim Hyun-Sung made this kind of decision.

‘There’s a good chance that this expedition is going to fail.’

I was also starting to realize the fact that the party members were only able to safely hunt because of the mental stability I gave them.

“I-I’m not going to go either. I don’t want to go. I’ll never go,” Jung Ha-Yan said.

“...”

Jung Ha-Yan was the problem. The closer it got to the expedition date, the more excuses she gave about why she didn’t want to go and the more dumbfounded I got. On the first day that Kim Hyun-Sung mentioned the expedition, she had started training in order to reach her stat and job goals. While the members were preparing for the expedition, she thought that she wouldn’t have to go if she reached her stats and job goals. Unfortunately, even if she reached her goal, it was already decided that she was going to join the expedition. But she was still going to use her goals as an excuse to not go.

‘It’s obvious.’

It was impossible to show notable achievement in a short period of time even if one had legendary-ranked talent. Showing an enormous amount of growth in a short period of time was astonishing, but they wouldn’t be able to reach their goals.

In the end, Jung Ha-Yan showed signs of anxiety, but it closely resembled the stage when a terminally-ill patient had accepted their death.

The stages were denial, anger, compromise, depression, and acceptance. It didn’t take long for her to reach the first stage because she started denying the fact that we had to be apart for a month or she believed that it was a joke and it wasn’t actually going to be a full month. She seemed as if she had never imagined us being apart. Jung Ha-Yan looked at hardworking Park Deok-Gu and Sun Hee-Young from afar as if she was looking at someone else and acted as if the meeting earlier never happened. But as time passed and the day of the expedition was getting closer, she started to face reality. The stage that came after was anger.

‘...’

Jung Ha-Yan started disliking Kim Hyun-Sung for suddenly coming up with the expedition schedule. I guess he could be considered lucky because she didn’t seem to have any murderous intent toward him. She must have considered him as a comrade that she experienced life and death with. Still, she started yelling by herself in her room more often and was showing her temperamental side more often. Excluding myself, she even got angry at the weakest in the party, Kim Ye-Ri.

Jung Ha-Yan was trying to find a reason to escape from this expedition. She seemed to have reached the conclusion that they were given this homework because the bow user kid was lacking, but she didn’t get mad or yell directly at Kim Ye-Ri because Jung Ha-Yan was pure and innocent. Instead of taking her anger out at Kim Ye-Ri, she would look in a certain direction, call her stupid, and curse her cutely. According to Park Deok-Gu, she came up to him and talked about Kim Ye-Ri behind her back, and considering her nature, such actions didn’t fit her at all.

When she moved on to the next step, she started talking a lot.

‘Compromise?’

As if she was possessed by me, she started offering a variety of conditions.

‘I can work really hard. I can really increase my stat without having to go to the expedition and I can work harder. So please. Please. Sob.’

Or…

‘Then how about leaving for only a week? I think it’ll be more effective.’

Or…

‘I think it’ll be better if oppa went too and just watched like you, Mr. Hyun-Sung.’

These were some of the things she said to bargain. Since the goal and stat values were very specific, it got to the point where she started thinking that it would be more effective if she remained here. When she showed a statistical analysis comparing the changes to her stats if she stayed here or if she went on the hunt, I was at a loss for words. I even noticed her offering different conditions to Kim Hyun-Sung, Park Deok-Gu, and Sun Hee-Young.

Jung Ha-Yan strangely encouraged them that they should officially protest and this type of encouragement was what helped Park Deok-Gu make his decision. It was simply an assumption, but I thought that maybe Park Deok-Gu was in the compromise stage because he actually visited me. He reflected back on himself while looking at Jung Ha-Yan.

The most difficult stage was the next stage—depression.

‘Depression.’

Jung Ha-Yan became noticeably thinner and there were many nights when she cried herself to sleep. I guess she must have realized the condition her body was in because she constantly said that she couldn’t join the hunt because she wasn’t feeling well and it was to the point that she looked like a severely depressed patient. She would stare out into the sky pretty often.

‘I really don’t want to. I really don’t…’

She also didn’t talk to herself as much as before.

Not only was it a hard time for Jung Ha-Yan, but it was a hard time for me as well because I had to comfort her more often. Of course, I would either mention a reward or calm her down by giving her all the rewards that were overdue, but I thought that the fact that she had to be away from me for a month was so shocking that those happy times went down the drain. She enjoyed it when I comforted her, but in the end, her depression must have overpowered me. Jung Ha-Yan found it scarier when the time we spent together became sweeter and sweeter. The fourth stage ended with her crying amidst our skinship.

The last stage was the biggest problem because Jung Ha-Yan wasn’t accepting it. Since I watched her go through all four stages, I thought she would eventually accept it, but I guess she wasn’t the type to accept things that she didn’t want so easily. Forcing her to accept it was the correct description because she denied her reality until the end and to make things worse, even when it was the day before the expedition, she didn’t want to believe that she had to go. She cried about it, but it wasn’t effective. It was a decision that the party had made and it was my decision as well, so Jung Ha-Yan had no choice but to follow.

Basically, she prepared to be apart for a month by going through the stages of denial, anger, compromise, depression, and forced acceptance. It was really difficult to imagine how it would impact her if we had to be apart for a year or if we never saw each other again.

Apart from meeting me and forming a strange personality, Jung Ha-Yan wasn’t used to being apart. After being abandoned by her sisters and parents, she had to spend a long time by herself and I was sure that those experiences greatly contributed to her current personality.

Anyway, apart from her showing that particular side of hers, time continued to pass and the day of the expedition was getting closer and closer. Honestly, I knew that the preparations weren't going well. Jung Ha-Yan looked like she was having a difficult time maintaining her mental health and although I didn’t understand the reason, Park Deok-Gu also looked like he wasn’t doing well. Sun Hee-Young looked like she was calmly thinking about what was going to happen after, but she was a bit stressed about not having done any charity work recently. As for Kim Ye-Ri, I honestly had no idea what she was thinking.

Truthfully, it was really difficult to watch the party members prepare for an expedition without me. It might seem obvious, but I wasn’t anxious because I was afraid of getting abandoned.

‘Have they always been this big of a mess?’

That was the thought I had because Park Deok-Gu and Jung Ha-Yan were acting strange and Sun Hee-Young wasn’t used to expeditions. I somewhat expected the preparations to be lacking since there was a kid in the party too, but I never imagined that it would be this bad. Like what Kim Hyun-Sung said earlier, as soon as he took his hands away from the process, the rest of the party would have no idea what to do. As such, I was naturally worried.

“Are you really going to leave just like this?” I asked.

“Yes, not getting involved is the right thing to do. Our party members are too used to receiving orders and I’m sure that you felt that as well, Mr. Ki-Young,” Kim Hyun-Sung answered.

“I did…”

“I’m sure they’ll come to realize this during the expedition.”

“...”

“When I said that they would carry out the expedition while being psychologically comfortable, it applied to the current situation and I’m sure it’ll be more noticeable during the hunt… I’m certain that Mr. Deok-Gu and Miss Hee-Young’s growth stats are high and I don’t need to talk about Miss Ha-Yan, so to be honest, everyone has a problem. If you and I went with them, I’m sure there won’t be any accidents, but think about what will happen if we aren’t there…” Kim Hyun-Sung explained.

The current situation would happen again.

I understood what Kim Hyun-Sung was saying. Hunting wasn’t simply the only factor and he must have thought that the command system within his party was an issue as well. Even though Kim Hyun-Sung was the leader and I was the alternative, there wasn’t anyone else after us. If Sun Hee-Young, Jung Ha-Yan, or Park Deok-Gu took charge and led the direction of the expedition, then the preparation process would become easier, but no one asked any questions nor did they find any answers.

‘I can probably do this’ or ‘this is probably enough’ were most likely the kind of thoughts they were having. If I were to explain it in simple terms, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that this expedition training was also a process for us to find an alternative to us within our party.

‘Will it work?’

Honestly, I was a bit skeptical when I saw our party members. They were going on a month-long expedition, but the goods they prepared weren't enough and it seemed like they didn’t prepare the equipment and tools they personally needed either. If I had to give an example, it felt as if they were children preparing for a trip because the only thing Kim Ye-Ri prepared was a bow and arrows. I guess Jung Ha-Yan didn’t really understand the meaning of traveling far because she was focused on taking items that reminded her of me.

‘This is…’

This was worse than bad.

If the guilds and groups that invested in us saw us right now, they would definitely get busy trying to get their investments back.

“Still… they should at least prepare the basic necessities…” I said.

“They’ve somewhat prepared the really basic items since Mr. Deok-Gu and Miss Hee-Young made the preparations. I’m also worried about it, but it’s the right thing to do. They’ll realize the difference once they experience it firsthand,” Kim Hyun-Sung said.

“I see,” I nodded.

“Let’s head out,” he said.

“Okay.”

When I went outside with Kim Hyun-Sung, I saw the party members waiting for us. Even though they were holding a pretty big bag, I knew that it contained useless items. When I looked at Park Deok-Gu who looked as if the preparations were perfect, I couldn't help but sigh. I wasn’t sure whether they knew my frustration, but each of them started making comments.

“Don’t worry so much, hyung-nim. I’m sure it won’t take an entire month!” Park Deok-Gu said.

It was going to take more than a month.

“I leave it up to you while I’m not here, Mr. Ki-Young. I am bothered by the fact that I haven’t been able to do any volunteer work…” Sun Hee-Young said.

In this expedition, they might be the ones that would need help.

“Oppa… oppa…” Jung Ha-Yan said.

Even after she hugged me while crying, I didn’t feel heartbroken at all.

“P-Please take care of yourself. A-And…” she said.

“Yeah, don’t worry, Ha-Yan,” I told her.

Because I was more worried about you guys.

She seemed worried that I might meet someone else while she was gone, but I guess the pain of being apart impacted her more.

When Kim Hyun-Sung said it was time to leave, I slightly pushed Jung Ha-Yan away. But she seemed like she wasn’t going to let go of me at all. She was using all her strength to hold on. Of course, she did let go of me in the end, but it was difficult to look at her face which was covered in tears and snot.

“We’re heading out.”

“D-Don’t worry,” Park Deok-Gu said.

‘Path of suffering.’

In this expedition, the party wasn’t going to be carried by Kim Hyun-Sung. I was certain that this journey was going to be more painful than any path that a monk had walked on.

‘Not going with them might actually be a good thing.’

I was half-serious about this.