Reincarnated As A Plant Life
chapter-36

~Could he be close to evolution?~ Lucius pondered. It seemed to be a viable reason, however, the question still remained. How come he could feel it as well?

"Sigh."

"You'll have as many sessions for as long as you want once we find a proper camp. For now, rest. We'll be moving in a few minutes," he said out loud, patting Pagan on the back before going to rest himself.

~If he really is close to evolving then that means I can set up a proper camp faster than I intended. I should probably add him and the others to the martial arts training as well. Since it's the only weapon we ha-~ his train of thought was lost as he noticed a long branch hanging from a nearby tree.

~Wait a moment,~ he thought to himself, before walking towards it to get a closer look.

The tip of the branch was a bit out of reach, but Lucius could tell that it led all the way up to the thicker branches of the bottle-shaped tree.

The tree in question seemed to be in bad shape. It was way shorter than the others, and wasn't getting enough sunshine, which must've resulted in its stunted growth.

Lucius was no botanist, but the discoloration of its leaves also seemed to hint at a lack of certain nutrients.

"As they say, 'one man's pain is another man's pleasure' or in this case, one plant's pain I suppose," he whispered before looking around.

He began inspecting the surrounding area, checking if the tree was already inhabited. After a thorough search, he found no holes or barrows dug anywhere around it. And as far as he could see, there were no nests or anything of the sort close by.

"Hmm, maybe a wider search perhaps," he whispered to himself, turning to search for Alpha amongst the sleeping leaflings.

"Can you move?" he asked once he found Alpha. Though a bit groggy, Alpha was already awake.

"This is nothing, I can move," Alpha replied, looking towards his men. Unlike him, it seemed they were still down for the count.

~Exceptional will,~ Lucius praised, noticing that Alpha was struggling to even get up.

"It's okay, you can stay here. Rest a little longer, I'll ju-"

"Please, let me go with you," Alpha pleaded, pushing himself to stand. Though a bit wobbly, he made it to his feet.

"Every time I stop training, every time I stop moving, I remember their faces. Every single one of them," Alpha whispered, looking to the ground.

"I mean, death was a normal thing before you came. This is my third commune, I've seen leaflings come and go. Trampled or eaten my boars, dozens of them dying every day. But this time it was different somehow..." Alpha said, nearly choking on his words.

"Alpha..." Lucius whispered, putting his hand on Alpha's back.

For a moment, Alpha looked around to as if to see if anyone was awake, and once he saw that everyone was still out he looked up to Lucius.

"Y-You know, I don't think I'm cut out to be a squad leader," Alpha whispered after thinking for a moment.

"I'm a coward you know," he continued, a sad sort of laugh following right after.

"Yeah, a coward. I blame Hannibal for everything, but deep down I knew the truth. I was angry at myself," he whispered, moving closer to Lucius like a child confessing to his father.

"I would've chosen to wait, and perhaps... perhaps all of us would've died. And you know what, Captain? Sometimes... sometimes I wish that's how it had all ended"

"Alpha," Lucius whispered, looking down at him.

"It's the truth, isn't it? Why did they deserve to die?" he asked, sadness audible in his tone.

"I remember the way they looked at me, thinking that had been saved. They all looked so scared at the time, I-I should've known better. How do you think they all felt in their final moments? Do you think they realized we had sacrificed them?"

"That we had left them there to die?" Alpha asked, his tone turning to disgust as he said this.

"I should've ran into the enemies alone, maybe then they woul-"

"Alpha!" Lucius shouted.

"How do you do it? How do you act like nothing happened? How does everyone else do it? Am I the only one who feels guilty? Am I the only one who feels disgusted? Dirty?"

"It isn't easy, and it doesn't get easier. I can't tell you anything that will magically make the pain go away, Alpha. If anything, that same pain will make you a better leader," Lucius answered, before turning towards the forest.

"The dead are just that, dead. We can remember them, but that's about all we can do. There are still leaflings left here that need you. I won't stop you from mourning the fallen, but keep in mind that amongst all the leaflings, you're probably in the best state of mind."

"Or haven't you noticed, Alpha? The looks of dread on all their faces," Lucius continued, before walking towards the forest to conduct his search. Leaving Alpha behind to his thoughts.

*

~I'm no good at this,~ Lucius thought to himself.

~I was always a more technical leader. When things got too emotional I would dump it all on Riley. Not that it happened much, but it still helped,~ he continued, climbing up a rock to get a better view of the surrounding area.

~Even as a father I was joke. I never really could get Arya to stop crying,~ he thought.

The search went on for half an hour, and Lucius couldn't find anything of alarm. Apart from the fact that the river was a 10-minute walk away from the site, there were no real downsides.

There were a bunch of twigs lying around to use as materials. Vines and grass for rope, and a lot of small stones if he ever decided he needed any.

~Hmm, there are still a few hours of daylight left. Perhaps I should begin right away,~ he decided, looking up to see that the sun was still a ways away from setting.