The Loner Who Conquers the Other World
chapter-287-1

Chapter 287: Middle-aged men’s Full 100% middle-aged men edition from middle-aged men of Useless Middle-aged men? Part 1

Day 70 – Daytime, Murimuri Castle interior

Shouts of agony continue coming from the bamboo grove, or rather the thicket. Since it was frustrating to simply run away, I mass produced wire traps and pitfalls before retreating, so outside is still noisy with constant banging of explosions, but losing 100 or 200 wouldn’t even begin making a dent on their numbers. That aside, why do middle-aged men of this world keep flocking to me? And just as I thought, middle-aged men ratio of this world goes against principle of causality itself! At this point it seems like it’s better to start investigating it from the cause and effect relation itself?

They already entered the castle, so it became more of a indoor guerilla warfare than siege defense, but it actually feels more like Bomberman. The issue is that I’m on the side that is getting exploded, so it’s not fun at all. The mere concept of enemies doing nothing but setting up exploding already makes it one shitty game, but with all enemy characters also being middle-aged men it makes me want to smash the screen before even trying? Moreover, with photo-realistic middle-aged men… Couldn’t they at least be a bit deformed for comedic effect?!

There are still more than 10,000 middle aged men, and the Church’s forces that were hiding in the Fake Dungeon are also beginning to gather up. But the existence of suicide troops, which I didn’t expect to see, prevents from thoughtlessly getting into close combat. But, like, close combat is all I can actually do? If I start carelessly shooting magic there I’ll immediately reveal my position, get surrounded, and then BANG.

I’m successfully crushing middle-aged men by stirring them up with guerilla attacks to bait them into traps, but with the excessively excessive number of middle-aged men is excessive. No matter how many are exploded or caught into traps they keep coming. It’ll be all over if I get surrounded, so I’m creating confusion while culling their numbers, assaulting groups that were isolated, only to then immediately retreat.

It’s our loss if they get past Murimuri Castle. So I have to lure them to me, but I absolutely don’t want to lure any middle-aged men! And those middle-aged men also have short fuse, exploding right upon seeing me. But if they manage to get through the castle and cause a stampede in the Frontier’s territory, it will be the Frontier’s defeat, as the army is currently all outside the region. I went around creating walls around every town and village, but I couldn’t get to every single one, and having farmland devastated will also destroy agriculture. Moreover, knowing their history, it’s clear that the Church’s army must be a bunch of scum who like taking hostages. I can’t allow them outside the castle.

Two signal flares were shot in the morning. The Pres and others arrived. They must already be monitoring the dungeons. With this, two are covered.

I also would like to try something, but those Church’s knights are strong. Their numbers are only in the few thousands, but even among those, there is a group in conspicuously extravagant armor that is far stronger than the rest. But I finally lured all of them to the castle. Now they should be unable to use a stampede. If they do, they also will be dragged into it, but if they try to turn back they will be cut off by the Fake Dungeon. That’s why they can’t use it until they kill me. That’s why they might use their last resort measure, which by itself is sort of the worst case scenario? That’s why for now, I’d like to cull their numbers as much as I can, but the third signal flare is yet to go up… And the fourth one is not going to be shot.

A drawn-out fight is exactly the most unfavorable scenario for me, but as the things are, I have no other options but to wait. Even if it’s hopeless, I’m still going to bait them out until the very end, I want to crush as many as I can.

「Filling both the Fake Dungeon and Murimuri Castle that I so painstakingly made with nothing but middle-aged men, as expected of the Church, their tactics are nasty? This has to be underhanded strategy aimed at destroying highschool boys’ motivation for combat. Why after I went through such lengths to even distribute flies and put up billboards, telling left and right that I’d prefer a honey trap, rising flags as best as I could, they come with 40,000 middle-aged men instead!? Moreover, they even have fanatics, actual old men fetishists! If they want to explode so much, why don’t they hug their beloved old fart and explode with him? Since it’s their fetish anyway?」

Good grief, they can explode on the old fart or normies as much as they want, but do they have to come with explosive hugs to a humble and diligent highschool boy who lives a modest and honest life? If instead of exploding middle-aged men’s hugs it were embraces from explosively passionate ladies with dynamite bodies I feel like I would’ve been easily caught? Even if it’s a trap, I’d still go for it? Rather, I might’ve jumped into it on my own? Or rather, I totally will!!

However,『Everlasting Trap – Continuously Creates Traps in Designated Area』that I accidentally picked up at the Royal Palace, is doing unexpectedly great. Filling the entire castle with traps it obliterates enemies. The Church’s knights are too much though, but if I can at least take care of middle-aged bombers, close combat should also become an option, with ambushes, swift assaults and so on. Those are the most unexpected customers, the appearance of which I didn’t foresee at all. I have nothing to feed them, or rather, even if I did I’d rather I eat it myself, we have no food to give to middle-aged men!

I’d like to save mana, but I can’t get near them. I want to bait them, but getting surrounded means death. But even so, it would be a problem if they went to the Frontier, what do we do?

That’s right, let’s go back to the basics.

I couldn’t raise my level, remaining quite weak, but I have a lot more small tricks, and great equipment now. However, that is the reason why I lost sight of something else.

That’s right, at first I was fighting with nothing. I fought while being unable to do pretty much anything. So let’s go back to the roots.

「HYAHAAAAAA!」

Sneak up from behind and whack them on the head. Hit them and run, while avoiding middle-aged bombers. What a nostalgic feeling.

「MIDDLE-AGED MEN ANNIHILATION!」

I mean, if they were regular filth, then sterilization would’ve worked, but since even after disinfection a middle-aged man remains a middle-aged man, the only solution is a total physical annihilation?

Actually, adjusting the strength to knock them out without killing is quite difficult, but if they die, they will explode, and if they are still conscious, they will explode too. Either way, middle-aged men are still annoying no matter what you do. Even so, to think I’d get to play a real life version of bomberman in this world, but isn’t it weird that I’m on the to be exploded side?

「If I knew it’d come to this I would’ve either learned archery or at least made a bow gun. Well, running from place to place makes it more advantageous for me. And bludgeoning middle-aged men is surprisingly refreshing, which means the stress from the hell of highly-concentrated middle-aged men in the Fake Dungeon have accumulated to the point of ruining this world for me. Moreover, I also tried to scatter some poison mushrooms around, but unexpectedly, middle-aged men aren’t eating from the floor? Yeah, I only got three of them with this so far? If only I could figure out middle-aged men’s weakness I’d be able to exterminate them in one go… From this world.」

The Church’s knights are staying as one group, so I can’t target them. They seem to be maintaining what appears like a defensive formation around that small unit that remained in the very rear all this time. In that case, I’d like to destroy the mage unit and middle-aged bombers in the meantime, but the remnants of the nobles’ army’s mercs and bandits keep getting in the way. And since it keeps stressing me out, I keep venting it out by clubbing middle-aged men? In other words, it seems to be an infinite stress release and generation cycle that will keep going until I exterminate middle-aged men from this world.