The Monk That Wanted To Renounce Asceticism
chapter-702

Chapter 702: Old Driver, Give Me A Ride

Translator: CKtalon Editor: CKtalon

Monkey pressed his palms together. “Amitabha. Master, are you sure you got a water vat and not a chimney?”

Lone Wolf smacked his lips and said, “How huge…”

Red Boy stroked his chin and, just as he was about to say something, he discovered four pairs of ferocious eyes on him. He swallowed the words he was about to say and thought to himself, “A bunch of bumpkins. These kinds of containers are considered better the smaller they are back in my world. Interspatial bags, interspatial rings, cosmos sleeves. A tiny thing can contain a mountain and a river… Only the poor would use something this large. It occupies so much space, and it’s ugly.”

However, having learned his lesson from the White Jade Cabbage, Red Boy decisively shut up. He smiled and praised it to prevent trouble.

Fangzheng ignored Red Boy as well. Instead, he focused his eyes on the Buddha Vat. This Buddha Vat was different from the original one. There was a huge “Buddha” word on it written in gold, and behind the word were colorful drawings. They depicted countless deities and buddhas touring the clouds. There was the sea beneath them and a divine dragon rearing its head. It carried a plate with wine and fruits. Clearly, it was playing host to the passing deities and buddhas. The whole scene looked spectacular, and the drawings were lifelike. The more one scrutinized it, the more one would find how amazing and intricate it was!

Fangzheng was skilled in Zen Carpentry, so he had outstanding appraising ability. With a glance, he could scrutinize it as if he had a magnifying glass. He was astonished to discover that even the background’s lotus flower which was only the size of a fingernail had clean and clear lines carved. There was even a dragonfly on the lotus flower and a mosquito in front of the dragonfly! This was like seeing a picture on the computer and infinitely zooming in while maintaining absolute clarity and resolution! Of course, even modern-day computers were incapable of doing so, but the Buddha Vat could do it!

Upon seeing this, Fangzheng made the decision that the Buddha Vat was not to be seen. Even if someone were to see it, they were not to observe and study it. Otherwise, it might be targeted by someone and incur trouble.

With this in mind, Fangzheng began taking in the grand picture. The deities and buddhas depicted looked alive. Their every action and smile looked remarkably true to life.

“What a good thing,” Fangzheng could not help but praise. Monkey, Squirrel, and Lone Wolf nodded. As for Red Boy? Everyone ignored him…

Fangzheng got Monkey to get a ladder and leaned it against the Buddha Vat. It was just too tall, and Fangzheng was only 1.80 meters tall. If anyone needed to go up, they would require a ladder.

Fangzheng leaned against the edge of the vat and looked in. Immediately, he felt like he was looking at a deep well. He laughed. “With such a large vat, everything is in place! Jingxin, get the cabbage here!”

“Alright!” Red Boy immediately ran over and, after a moment, carried the massive cabbage over.

Monkey, Lone Wolf, and Squirrel looked curiously as they gathered around, widening their eyes as they watched Fangzheng’s every action.

Fangzheng first lined the bottom of the vat with coarse salt. Then he began to strip off the White Jade Cabbage’s leaves and covered them in a layer of salt before placing them at the bottom of the vat. This continued until the entire White Jade Cabbage was stuffed into the vat. Fangzheng had been very particular about it, sticking the leaves closely together and not leaving any gaps. After doing all of this, Fangzheng left and found a boulder. After using Unrooted Clean Aqua to wash it, he pressed it down on the cabbage.

After clapping his hands, Fangzheng turned and left when he confirmed that all was done.

“Master, is that all?” Red Boy chased up to him and asked.

Fangzheng said, “Yes, it’s done.”

“No, can such cabbage simply be left there like that?” Red Boy asked in puzzlement.

Fangzheng looked up into the sky and said, “The weather is getting colder. Cabbage can usually be stored an entire winter. However, all of you are probably sick of eating it as it was. So, we are changing its taste. Alright, cut the crap. It’s bedtime!”

This was Fangzheng’s first time pickling vegetables so late at night. He opened the door to his room and went to sleep. After lying on the bed, he silently mumbled. “In two days, I should add water. Then, all that will be left is to wait. Pickled vegetables vermicelli…”

As he spoke, he even began to drool as he fell asleep.

With that, the night passed.

The next day, before Fangzheng woke up, he heard someone singing outside.

“Who is singing drunk under the moonlight—!

“Conquering the lengthiest rivers with the pining of one’s love—!

“Like sand seeping through fingers, the icy fragrance fades.

“Amid the wine, even the wrong strum of the zither can be made.

…”

Fangzheng jolted awake. It wasn’t because the song was sung nicely, but because it sounded horrendous!

If Fangzheng recalled correctly, his disciples on One Finger only had one talent—eating! All their other talents were completely negligible. And the only one who would not be embarrassed to sing was that prodigal child, Red Boy. Fangzheng immediately charged out and saw Red Boy climb up the roof and point to the east as he roared.

Down below, Lone Wolf looked angrily at Red Boy and when he saw Fangzheng come out, he immediately snitched. “Master, are you going to do something about this? Junior Brother is going mad again!”

Fangzheng was puzzled as well. This song had been sung by Duan Liu, but why did it sound so different when sung by someone else?

Fangzheng had planned on getting Red Boy to come down, but as Red Boy sang, he sped up the tune. His lyrics also changed the entire song’s mood. Fangzheng nearly spewed out whatever he had in him when he heard that.

Red Boy was singing at the top of his voice ¹ , “Old Driver, give me a ride, rural folk dancing is my pride! Old Driver, lush is your leg hair, let me touch when it’s bare. The road goes up and down, and together, we can go to town. Ah Li Li. Ah Li Li. Ah Li Li. Old Driver, give me a ride. I want to be your bride. Old Driver, give me a ride, I want my ass pried… Heaven has a house, a car, and a big bed for you to have fun. Ah Li Li, Ah Li Li, Ah Li Ah Li Li…”

The more Fangzheng heard it, the more he found it amiss. He roared. “Jingxin, come down here right now!”

Red Boy was taken aback as he looked down at the flushed Fangzheng. He asked, “Master, what’s wrong? I’m singing. Oh yeah, I found the song Duan Liu sang. It’s on the Internet. It’s Old Driver, Give Me A Ride by Luo Tianyi. It actually sounds pretty good…”

Fangzheng gritted his teeth and asked, “Who told you about this song?”

Red Boy immediately looked at Lone Wolf.

Lone Wolf wore a look of aggrievement. “Master, Junior Brother didn’t want to sleep in the middle of the night and wanted me to tell him a story. What story could I have? So I just told him the story of our adventure down the mountain. Who knew…”

“Jingxin, come down. I’m suddenly having scripture recital inspirations. I think I need to have a chat with you,” Fangzheng said with a livid expression. At the same time, he was thankful that the brat had done this before dawn. If he had done it when there were many devotees, he could forget about staying a monk. He might as well shut his doors forever.

Red Boy was still unsure of the situation, but when he saw Fangzheng’s expression, he did look very angry. So Red Boy obediently jumped down and was brought away with Fangzheng pulling at his ears.