The Record of Unusual Creatures
chapter-519

Chapter 519: Classes

It seemed that Anna had listened to their instruction, not to reveal to others that there was a space crack in the crypt, leading to gold treasure. Igor did not even know where Hao Ren and his gang had gone to. Now there was no worry that someone might cross that space crack; after Hao Ren returned from the other side, he had installed sensors and crack breakers near the space crack to prevent people from trespassing Tannagost.

Igor had asked why Becky had not come back. Hao Ren explained that she was visiting her relatives in The Plane of Dreams.

Instead of accepting Igor’s invitation to stay, they decided to go home. The first thing Hao Ren did was find his official car in the courtyard in front of the castle. The car had been parked there for a week. It was now covered with snow. He patted the roof of the car, thinking self-deprecatingly: in order not to cause a stir, when he came he did not tuck his car back into his dimensional pocket. He had instead parked it in the garden. But little did he expect the vengeful spirit phenomenon in Andrea Castle had become so bad that people were surprised by any supernatural phenomena no more. The fact that the Andrea family was the descendant of Vivian’s younger brother was out of his expectation too. If he had known it earlier, he would not have gone through all the trouble.

“The crypt,” Vivan instructed Igor. “Set up some guard points in different places in the crypt but don’t go too deep. Anna knows something about the dimension, let her decide the position of the sentry posts. We have laid a seal near the door of the vengeful spirit, but if there is still any anomaly, report it to me immediately.”

Igor bowed respectfully and nodded his head, and then carefully asked, “My lord, how can I contact you? Sorry … our family has lost our traditional occult skills.”

Vivian smacked herself on the forehead. “Oh yes, hold on a second.”

Then she reached her hand into the pocket. Igor suddenly became nervous and serious, wondering what magic prop Vivian was going to take out. It was normal for witch and her human minions to communicate through the black cat’s cry, crow’s shadow, Datura flowers ashes and stuff like that. However after a long while, Vivian had only taken out a small notebook. She tore off a piece of paper and wrote something on it. “Now I have a cell phone, this is my cell phone number; just remember to add prefix 0086.”

Igor asked flabbergastedly, “… isn’t it a magic prop? I remember the ancient books of my ancestors had mentioned about Drops of Blood Debris or something…”

Vivian’s brows knit together as she said, “It was a long time ago. One must keep up with the times, you know. Can Drops of Blood Debris send text messages?”

Igor: “…..”

A batswoman of 10,000 years old was teaching a modern person to keep up with the times. Only this could happen to him, Hao Ren thought.

After giving her instructions, they left Andrea Castle by teleporting back home. Y’zaks was sitting in the living room reading the paper. Sitting on a sofa reading the People’s Daily, he looked exactly like a prisoner in a hard labour camp. Sensing the air distortion around him, Y’zaks looked up with a mean smile. “I knew you’re going to come back. What take you so long, uh? Where’s Becky?”

“She has gone back to her hometown,” said Hao Ren. “You wouldn’t guess what we found in the lair of the vengeful spirit! It’s a pity that you didn’t go along this time. We’ve found a stable passageway connecting the real world and The Plane of Dreams.”

That was unexpected. Y’zaks was very surprised. “Really? Then tell me everything about it.

“Before that, mind you guys explain it to me,” said Nangong Sanba as he flung himself in the sofa and spread out his hands. “I don’t have clue and my mind is still left behind the other world. Can anyone tell me who you guys are? What organisation? What team? A lone wolf superhero, or a coalition of vengeance seekers? Looks like your team is unlike any forces of the Earth. Shall I join as a public servant or an independent contractor?”

Nangong Wuyue shot her brother a sideways glance. “Brother, you’re too inquisitive.”

“I think I should also explain it to you,” Hao Ren nodded. “Are you prepared to the truth? In the future, you’ll need to follow a gang of space-time agents dealing all kind of things all over the world, and in many cases, in the other worlds. Ours is a high risk job, but safety and security measures are aplenty. It’s very exciting, but also very rewarding. You can broaden your horizons, increase your knowledge, and often time get more than worldly return, such as…”

Hao Ren took out a golden apple from the dimensional pocket and continued. “Golden Apple, yes, the one in the story where Hercules had tricked Atlas into getting it. But this one’s genuine, with a trademark. I guarantee that it’s as authentic as the stolen peach that the monkey had stolen, 100% from the realm of God. If you are in, you will be able to get these things and to the top of your life.”

Lily blinked. “Why I’ve got the feeling that you talked like an MLMer?”

Nangong Sanba stared at the golden apple in Hao Ren’s hands, none the wiser. He asked instinctively, “What if I don’t join?”

“I don’t think a normal person can resist this. But if you insist not to join—yes, you can,” said Hao Ren, taking out a pen from his dimensional pocket again. “Then look at the little lamp here and wait for me to count to three and you will forget everything you see in the other worlds. But truth be told, I don’t know if this thing would work. When my boss handed it to me, it was said to come from Er Li Qiao Wholesale Market, the largest gathering place of fake celestial community. There is a bunch of guys who always uses counterfeit gadgets to make money. So this thing may make you forget a lot more things. It’s said that there is a ten-percent chance of causing gender identity disorder, but rest assured I’ll recommend you some gay website where you can embark on another journey of happiness. You will not remember the women you had loved… Lily, please don’t bite!”

Lily let off her bite and raised her head away from Hao Ren’s arm. “You’ve been talking load of nonsense!”

Cold sweat trickled down Nangong Sanba’s back. He quickly swore. “I solemnly declare that I’m in—by the way, how come I suddenly feel that you are like an illegal organisation…”

“You won’t be able to find a more legitimate team than us in the whole world,” said Nangong Wuyue, sticking out her tongue and giving Hao Ren a shit look. “It’s just that the captain is a little weird making you a little confused.”

“Fine, Wuyue will brief you about the situation of our Space Administration’s EN35 node at Bastard Barrio office. After that, I’ll take you reporting to my superior,” said Hao Ren, putting away the pen and letting the siren maiden handle the rest. “I’m going to find Big Beardy. As the door to The Plane of Dreams has now been opened. I have to ask if he wants to go home.”

“He has gone out to classes,” Y’zaks stopped Hao Ren. “He’ll be back in the evening.”

Hao Ren asked dumbfoundedly, “What classes?”

“He’s giving talk on health, environmental protection and low-carbon life to the backstreet gang of old folks and housewives who,” Y’zaks said. “The class that was opened a week ago is now booming… he is fast becoming a friend of women.”

Hao Ren was struck dumb. He could not imagine Big Beardy, the most rustic, boring ascetic had become a hit. But when he heard that the Big Beardy had gathered so many people and giving talk to them, he faintly felt something was not quite right. He quickly went out. “I’ll find him!”

When Hao Ren came to the back street wanting to find someone to ask where the lectures were at, he found that was not necessary: there was a crowd gathered under the big mandarin tree on the eastern side of the street. Eight out of ten were women. Without needing asking, it must be Big Beardy who was preaching there. He hurried over to the clearing where the crowd assembled and saw Big Beardy was sitting on a rock giving his lecture solemnly:

“…so the path of natural harmony is the way of long-term survival. Our predecessors taught us that everything in the world comes from the same place and will die and return to the same place as well. All things are equal and particles of this world. Whether they are rich or poor, what left of them will be just flesh and bones at the end, just like the plants and the tree. Such is the principle of life. Man is made of dust and will return to the earth, so one should be content with life and be happy with what one has. Eat sparingly and you will be fine; sleep soundly and you will be well; dress modestly as that’s all your body needs. If you would like to enjoy yourself, be self-sufficient…”

As Big Beardy talked, the housewives just kept nodding their heads. The low-carbon and environmentally-friendly topics were most suitable for their appetite though they understood none of them.

Suddenly there was a voice from the side. “Hao Ren? You come for the class too?”

Hao Ren turned his head and found the one speaking was an old neighbour, the fat boss who opened a supermarket at the end of the street. He shook his head and said, “I’m here to find someone. You come for the talk too?”

“Who in their right mind would want to listen to this? I’m here to drag my wife back home,” said the fat boss, almost crying. “It makes people’s life miserable… she has been bewitched and I’ve had no proper meal at home for days. She even told me that if I wanted to eat meat, I would have to go and catch rabbits in the wild myself.

Hao Ren: “…..”