The Regressor and the Blind Saint
chapter-158

༺ Hodrick (2) ༻

It didn’t take long for Vera to understand Hodrick’s words.

There was a clear meaning behind his words.

‘The Apostles of the previous generations…’

He was the last generation’s Apostle of Oath. That was what he was saying.

Vera was at a loss for words. There was nothing that came to mind as to how to respond to that statement.

In the meantime, Hodrick, as if regretting the words he had spoken, hastily left after saying.

[…I misspoke. It seems too much for you, so rest for today.]

Vera should have stopped him from leaving, but he couldn’t.

For a long time, Vera stared at Hodrick’s fading back with a dazed expression on his face.

***

Thinking back, it made sense.

Although it wasn’t something he had thought of, the existence of the Apostles had always been there since the land was created. It wouldn’t be strange if there were at least one who had become an undead, unable to let go of their lingering attachments throughout that long history.

Late in the evening.

Sitting at the table in his assigned quarters, Vera rubbed his face with his hand, recalling the past seven and a half years he had spent in the Holy Kingdom.

Since he had unexpectedly encountered an Apostle from the previous generation, he needed to gather information about who exactly Hodrick was.

However, there was little chance that he would ever find an answer.

’…Records on the previous Apostles are forbidden from being read.’

It didn’t apply only to the records about the Apostles, but all records related to the history of the Holy Kingdom were inaccessible even to the Holy Emperor, Vargo, and the Saint, Renee.

This was stated in the Constitution of the Holy Kingdom, which was ordered by the Gods themselves.

The only exception, if there were any, were the Apostles of Wisdom of this era.

As Vera continued pondering, he eventually came to a conclusion.

‘…I need to gather information.’

Since Hodrick’s attitude didn’t seem to suggest he was willing to reveal his identity directly, it would be faster to uncover his identity by collecting information through the undead in this castle.

With just a little thought, it wasn’t a difficult task.

Considering the Dullahan who had chosen Hodrick to face him as proof at the Cradle’s entrance, or the Specter who guided them when they first entered the castle, it was clear that they weren’t trying to hide Hodrick’s identity.

‘…They must know something.’

Hodrick’s attitude as he criticized the way Vera used his power was definitely that of someone who knew the true nature of the power.

If he wasn’t going to answer himself, then Vera had to dig deeper and confront him to get the answers.

– You make an oath so easily.

Vera had to find out what that statement meant.

In the dark room, Vera’s ashen eyes glowed as he continued to think for a long time.

***

Gathering information wasn’t that difficult.

As Vera had expected, the undead of the old castle answered his questions without hesitation.

– Sir Hodrick? Well, I’m not sure, but… I’ve heard he’s lived in this castle even during the period the outside world calls the Age of Gods.

– He’s the role model of all knights! Instead of leading with words, he always shows through his actions!

– When he’s alone, he always looks sad. Huh? How do I see his face when he’s wearing a helmet? Is there a head inside the helmet? Sigh, it’s just a figure of speech. Don’t you know what a metaphor is? You must be clueless around women, huh?

There were a few undead with the occasional rant, mostly nonsense, but Vera was able to gather meaningful information in the end.

– Maybe he was a Paladin… That’s what we think. Sir Hodrick teaches Lady Jenny and always goes to the church at the same time every day to pray. Oh, now that I think about it, you can probably see him at the church right now!

The fact that Hodrick was teaching divine arts to Jenny, the Apostle of Death, and that he went to the church to pray every day at the same time.

This was the clearest evidence that Hodrick was a cleric who once served the Holy Kingdom and knew how to handle the stigma.

Of course, even with this information, Hodrick might still try to deny it, but Vera was confident. Threats and interrogations were all too familiar and easy tasks for Vera.

A small church was at the left end of the hall when looking from the entrance of the old castle.

Entering the building, which seemed quite out of place considering this was the land of the undead, Vera found Hodrick praying with his head bowed in the center of the church.

The sight of a knight in black armor, a deathly aura flooding out, kneeling before a cross seemed equally awkward.

As Vera silently watched, Hodrick spoke without changing his kneeling posture.

[…Do you not pray?]

The question came out of nowhere.

Vera felt something piercing his heart as he answered.

“…I don’t feel the need to.”

His voice trembled, as he hadn’t taken the time to pray even once since leaving the Holy Kingdom. The reaction came naturally.

Hodrick let out a small laugh at Vera’s response.

[Oh, Lushan will be disappointed.]

“…If he would be disappointed by that, he wouldn’t have granted me the stigma.”

[That is correct as well. The Heavenly Gods must have known the kind of person you were before they granted you the stigma.]

Hodrick got up from his knees, turned to Vera, and asked nonchalantly.

[So, did you learn a little about me?]

A question that implied he knew what Vera had been doing. As a surprised expression crossed Vera’s face, Hodrick chuckled and added.

[Did you know? The undead here are old people who have lived for at least a few hundred years. The Cradle is a truly unchanging place. The same routine repeats every day, and you only meet the same people. So, what do you think the elderly do when they’re bored? Their gossip grows day by day. Especially when outsiders like you visit.]

As Hodrick approached Vera, he finished his sentence playfully.

[They talk about what others do all day and all night… No, since it’s always night in the Cradle, the expression ‘all day’ would be more appropriate. Anyways, they talk about others all day. Of course, what you’ve been doing would reach my ears as well.]

Vera let out a frustrated sound at Hodrick’s explanation.

[The reason I didn’t silence them is because…]

Hodrick paused for a moment, looking at Vera before answering.

[…Even if I keep avoiding it, I don’t think you’ll give up. Isn’t that right?]

“…I won’t deny it.”

[I knew it. Lushan likes stubborn people.]

Hodrick smiled with a somewhat carefree attitude, not staying tense, silent, or denying, but instead calmly participating in the conversation.

Vera thought that maybe Hodrick had resolved some inner conflict he was unaware of, and then brought up the main topic.

“I want to ask you something.”

[Go ahead.]

“Do you remember what you said to me? About why I make an oath so easily.”

[My memory isn’t so bad that I’ve already forgotten what I said the day before.]

“…I want to know the meaning behind those words.”

Finally, Vera asked his question and looked at Hodrick with his mouth closed.

Vera asked this question with the utmost respect as Hodrick might have a deeper understanding of this power than Vera himself. Hodrick remained silent for a long time before he answered.

[There’s no other meaning. Just as I said, you are abusing this power too much. That’s why I said that.]

Hodrick glanced at the cross at the front of the church again and then continued in a mumbling tone.

[In fact, I wanted to hide it. There’s no guarantee that any advice I give will have a positive influence on you, right? Even if I revealed that I was an Apostle of the previous generation, it could be nothing more than bragging, right? Moreover, as someone who has failed and become one of the undead, my words might be poison to you.]

In his clear and quiet words, there seemed to be a sense of regret.

[I shouldn’t have said it… but the moment I saw you fighting, it felt like I was looking at my past self and the words just came out. I was ashamed of my past life, where I fought in such a way, and I didn’t even realize I was spilling those words.]

Vera listened to the long preamble in silence.

[Suddenly, I thought that if I didn’t do something, you might end up on the same path as me. So I contemplated and made up my mind. I would share the story of this failure with you.]

“…You call yourself a failure?”

[Indeed, I failed. So, that’s why I call myself that. I hope that after hearing my story, you’ll take a different path than I did.]

Hodrick said that and headed towards the pews in the church. He sat down and gestured to Vera.

[Please, have a seat. Have I not come to a place where I can confess to the Gods? As I stand before such a generous audience, I will try to reveal my story without hiding anything.]

His tone was playful, but the underlying regret was unbearably heavy.

Without saying anything more, Vera followed Hodrick’s words and took a seat next to him.

Hodrick looked at Vera for a moment, then cast his gaze towards the cross and began his story.

***

Freedom Knight Hodrick Felisman.

The third son of a fallen noble, the husband of the beautiful Della, and the father of the lovely Usher.

He recalled his past. It was back when he was just an ordinary person and yet the happiest man in the world.

It was the story of the eight-stroked stigma that changed his life.

[That day… the day I received the stigma, I vowed to live for my family above all else. I would wield my sword to be a proud husband for my wife. I would wield my sword for my child’s smile. And as I did, I broke past a wall I thought I would never be able to cross in my lifetime.]

He recited moments that remained vivid, even though they had become distant memories.

[I was happy. Also, I felt a sense of responsibility. My mind was filled with the thought that I had to fulfill the weight of my oath. So, I headed to Elia with my family. There, we began our new life.]

He recited things that had become his lingering attachments.

[After receiving the revelation, I traveled the continent. I met countless people and experienced countless things. Each time, I added to my vows. I believed that the reason I was given the stigma was for that purpose.]

He vowed to wield his sword for the poor.

He vowed to wield his sword on behalf of those who couldn’t defend themselves.

And he vowed to wield his sword for the parents who wished to protect their children, for those who cherished their parents, and for those who wished to protect their loved ones.

[And so, I gained a power that no one could surpass.]

His words stopped. Hodrick had to muster all his strength to calm his raging heart before continuing.

The words continued after he barely managed to suppress his self-resentment that was trying to add to his deathly aura.

[As the flames of chaos ravaged the continent, it dawned upon me that something was wrong.]

“…War, you mean.”

[Yes, it was a long war. Ironically, I, who had enjoyed making empty vows, became someone who couldn’t wield a sword against anyone. Everyone in the world had become someone I had to protect.]

The following words were the lingering regrets that made Hodrick a wraith.

[Even those who sought to harm my family.]

It was a self-mocking laugh.

[I overlooked something. In war, everyone is both a victim and a villain. Those who harmed my family were such people too.]

It’s human nature. The fact that the weak can also be evil, that loving someone can also hurt another, and that the one I pointed my sword at was also the one I had to protect.

The foolish man, who hadn’t truly grasped the weight of his vows, only gained enlightenment after the things he had to protect were gone.

[It was only then that I realized how easy it is to make an oath but how difficult it is to fulfill it, perhaps harder than anything else in the world. That’s why I was unable to protect anything, watching helplessly as my world fell apart around me, forced to grieve alone amidst the ruins.]

After finishing his long story, Hodrick looked at Vera.

[So, I hope you don’t walk the same path as I did. I hope you’re more cautious than anything else when making an oath. And I hope you don’t just see your power as a convenient miracle to use.]

What followed was advice and, at the same time, a warning.

[In other words, don’t make too many oaths.]