The Regressor and the Blind Saint
chapter-172

༺ Delusional Obsession (3) ༻

Vera couldn’t say anything.

He didn’t know how to respond appropriately to someone who wanted to be killed.

It was a startling thing to ask, even to a complete stranger.

So if it was not a stranger who asked him that, but someone who had sparred with him until yesterday and was also a senior who had guided him, he would naturally be speechless.

Even if he were to agree, his ‘affection’ prevented him from saying he would do it.

However, the current situation didn’t make it any easier to refuse.

A chilling silence enveloped them both, and Vera’s hesitation only deepened until Hodrick spoke.

As if he knew Vera would be worried about this, his words were spoken with laughter gone from his tone.

[…I will take that silence as an affirmation. Thank you. There is a hill behind the castle that can be seen after a half day’s walk. I will somehow endure the rest of my time there. So when you are ready, come and end me.]

Not telling Vera to kill him right here and now… Unfortunately, that was not a consideration for Vera.

It was because of one thing. It required ‘Intention’ to extinguish the soul of the dead.

For that reason, he chose Vera.

Hodrick made this choice because only Vera, now one step away from the realm of Intention, could end him.

Hodrick rose to his feet.

Without another word, he walked away with a clunking sound.

As the black-armored undead that had filled his vision disappeared, Vera’s face belatedly crumbled.

His head dropped down. His hands covered his face.

“Damn it…”

A long breath escaped.

***

Three days had passed since Hodrick’s disappearance.

It didn’t bring about any significant changes to the Cradle.

The person who was always there had been missing for around three days. It was just that someone’s position was vacant for a while.

However, this did not mean that everyone understood Hodrick’s disappearance.

Even if it was only for three days, and even if the missing person was a centuries-old powerful person, at least one person would worry about them.

“Ex-excuuse mee…”

A faint voice crawled down the middle of the hallway.

An insignificant presence grazed the edge of his nerves.

Vera turned his body at the sensation from behind to see the source.

At the edge of his vision, he saw a girl cowering in fear. It was Jenny.

“T-the thing is…”

Vera’s breath immediately caught in his throat when he realized that it was him that Jenny was trying to talk to.

There was no other reason. It was because he immediately knew why she was talking to the person she was so afraid of.

It was probably about Hodrick.

Hesitantly, Vera’s steps stumbled backward.

Flinching in surprise, Jenny let out an ‘eek!’ and her shoulders jerked.

She looked terrified, like she was going to run away at any moment.

Vera hoped that Jenny would now turn around and run away for good, but unfortunately, that did not happen.

Staring at the floor with watery eyes, Jenny soon composed herself and took a step forward.

It was obvious that she was so scared that her legs were trembling, but she didn’t stop.

Suddenly, Vera felt a pang of compassion.

He knew very well why Jenny mustered so much courage right now.

For some reason, he felt that her appearance was similar to him at that time.

Did he look exactly like that when he was searching for the missing Renee with his dying body at the end of his previous life? Was the anxiety in Jenny’s heart now the same kind of emotion he felt back then? Those thoughts came to his mind.

A wave of unspeakable emotion washed over him.

Meanwhile, Jenny, who had been diligently approaching, was now standing in front of Vera.

“I can’t see Master… Do-does uncle know…?”

Unable to make eye contact, her gaze dropped to her feet.

That pathetic question she asked to hold on to a shred of hope began to brew Vera’s resentment towards Hodrick.

“…Well, I’m not sure. Why do you ask?”

What came out were evasive words because he couldn’t bear to tell the truth.

Jenny’s expression crumbled. When the mask of nervousness was removed, a deep anxiety and despair was revealed.

“Euh, uuuh…”

Jenny rolled her eyes with a face full of confusion.

“Master… talked about uncle a lot… I thought uncle was close… He disappeared without telling me… I thought uncle knew, but…”

A series of unorganized words came out.

As she spoke, Jenny’s eyes began to water.

Feeling like he was facing the hardest thing in the world, Vera looked away.

But that didn’t mean he could turn a blind eye to the feeling being conveyed.

“Ma-Master always tells me where he’s going, but… Toby and Kiki didn’t tell me anything this time either…”

Those were the names of the specter nannies who cared for Jenny.

Besides, they were the first undead that Vera had asked to remain silent.

And they had.

For Jenny, it was a situation where someone who had never been like that suddenly disappeared without a word. Also, everyone who might know kept their mouths shut or played dumb.

Vera clenched his fists tightly.

Vera knew best what kind of chain Hodrick’s selfish consideration would leave on Jenny’s heart, so he hesitated for quite a while before he spoke.

“…I’ll try to find him.”

Jenny’s head snapped up with a swish.

For the first time since their first meeting, their eyes met.

Feeling a knot in his stomach at the sight of Jenny looking at him as if she were watching a lifeline descending from the sky, Vera said.

“I also wonder where he went, because I couldn’t find him anywhere even though it was time for sparring.”

A small smile tugged at the corners of Jenny’s mouth. Only then did she feel relieved, her shoulders drooping.

“Tha-thank youu…!”

Vera looked at Jenny’s complexion as he listened to her gratitude.

Her dark circles and dull skin were clearly a reaction to fatigue. It was unknown since when, but it made sense to think that Jenny had not been able to rest since she realized that Hodrick was gone.

She might be an Apostle, but she was still a child.

Besides, mental stress was not something that the Apostle’s power could do anything about.

Vera couldn’t stand the thought of Jenny looking like that, so he added another word.

“…I will search for Sir Hodrick, so go back and get some sleep. Seeing your face like that would make him feel bad.”

Startle. Jenny’s body trembled.

Jenny looked uncomfortable for a moment, then nodded.

“…Okay.”

Soon after, she backed away slowly. Then she spun around and ran away.

Vera felt a rush of relief as she looked a little more at ease, and that put an end to the worry that had been lingering for a few days.

‘…This won’t do.’

As expected, he couldn’t grant Hodrick’s request to end him without anyone knowing.

***

After making up his mind, the first thing Vera did was to find Renee.

Not only might he be in a position where he had to fight Hodrick, but he also wanted to bring Jenny with him to that place.

He realized that not saying anything would be a violation of a vow he had made to Renee one day, ‘I will not do important things on my own judgment’. More importantly, it would be a betrayal to Renee, who cared about him.

That was what Renee did at the end of the previous lapse. That was what he did in the Federation of Kingdoms. And that was also what Hodrick was going to do now.

It was a selfish consideration that ignored the feelings of the other person.

Vera now understood how much grief it caused to those left behind, so he explained the situation to Renee in detail.

“…So I want to take Jenny to where Sir Hodrick is.”

Vera looked at Renee.

Already knowing that this would be another source of worry for Renee, Vera waited for her answer.

Renee remained silent, her eyes sinking deep into thought. It was not until much later that she opened her mouth.

“Vera.”

“Yes.”

“You can do it, right?”

A smile began to spread across Renee’s face. Vera’s eyes widened at that.

“You actually told me this time before you did it, didn’t you?”

There was no shadow on Renee’s face as she giggled and said that.

However, Vera knew. She did not do that because she really had no worries.

Even as she spoke like that, Renee’s hands were clenched into tight fists even as she spoke like that.

Renee smiled like that to show that she believed in him.

Vera looked at her clenched hands for a moment, then raised his head to look at her face and answered.

“…Yes, I will definitely return to where the Saint is.”

“Really?”

“It is an absolute truth.”

“But Vera is weaker than Sir Hodrick.”

Vera’s body flinched.

Renee, who could feel the movement because she was sitting right next to Vera, smirked and held out her hands.

Her groping hands rested on Vera’s cheeks.

“Vera is weak, so how can you be so sure of that?”

Renee said that and waited for Vera’s response.

It wasn’t that she was trying to joke around, even at a time like this.

Although Vera always worked diligently and gave his best in everything he did, Renee knew that the moments when he truly spoke from the heart were when she playfully dismissed his abilities. That’s why she wanted to offer this prayer, even if it bordered on superstition.

Renee was well aware.

Vera never backed down from anything he set his mind to.

If he drew his sword after careful consideration, he would never sheathe his sword until he had achieved his goal.

He was a man who valued his beliefs above all else.

For that reason, Renee couldn’t say anything that would break Vera’s belief.

As she continued to think, Vera replied.

“…I am not weak.”

Renee let out a muffled laugh and asked again.

“Really?”

“I can confidently say that I have more talent with the sword than anyone else in the world.”

“As expected, the King of the Slums is different.”

“…”

Through the hands that rested on Vera’s cheek, Renee realized that Vera was clenching his teeth.

From the rising temperature, it seemed that he was becoming embarrassed.

“Vera.”

“…Yes.”

“You must return. Please return alive and intact. If Vera returns dead, I’ll bury Vera in the center of the Empire’s capital. And on top of that, I’m going to put a huge statue of Vera and a headstone with the phrase ‘Here lies the King of the Slums.'”

Vera’s body shook violently.

“Ah, I’m going to make the statue wear a black suit and hold a cigar in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. And a thick fur coat? That’d be nice, too. Anyone stopping by the Empire or living in the Empire’s capital would see that statue and the headstone, right? Wow, it’s embarrassing just thinking about it.”

Renee giggled at it and continued.

She enjoyed Vera’s reaction for a while and then took a long, deep breath before finishing her words.

“…So, if you hate that, you must return alive.”

There was a hint of trembling at the end of her words that she tried to hide until the very end, and it made Vera’s eyes shake.

He faced Renee.

Putting his hands over Renee’s that was resting on his cheeks, he answered.

“No matter what happens, I will return unharmed.”

It was a vow to Renee, and also a vow to himself.

The moment he said that, the oath engraved in Vera’s soul burned with a different light than before.