The Regressor and the Blind Saint
chapter-260

She could not tell how much time had passed.

It was only natural.

As time passed, every moment rewinded and disappeared, and all the built-up emotions scattered at each of those moments. So, there was no way for Renee to guess how long she had been in this cycle of regression.

And so, Renee just walked.

To save him, she lived a new life every time, weaving a new measure every time.

Sometimes as the guardian of the Great Woodlands, sometimes as an envoy of the Empire, and other times as an honorary professor of the Academy.

One by one, she shaped his future and accepted their parting just as many times.

Tap—

She endlessly staggered and leaned on her cane while sending him on his way.

That’s right.

It was only then that Renee realized.

The countless repetitions also meant having to let go of him for each repeat.

Having to infinitely repeat such painful moments were feelings she could never easily get used to. They tore her heart each and every time.

Renee thought.

‘Until when...’

Until when must I hurt like this?

Until when must I grieve like this?

Until when will the end of this path finally show itself to me?

She wanted to give up.

She wanted to end this ceaseless cycle of letting him go.

However, the reason she couldn’t was still hanging around her neck.

The necklace, emitting an unfading warmth, became a leash that pulled her forward.

Even if she wanted to collapse, she could not.

The memories that did not fade despite the immeasurable amount of time became her leash.

She had to keep moving forward today as well.

Unable to endure any longer, Renee began erasing herself.

No, she concealed herself.

- By the grace of the Lord.

Afraid she might fall apart if she stayed as herself, she lived as a servant of the Lord.

- I shall go forth with love.

She cloaked the reason she still could not stop here.

- I wish for everyone on this land to become filled with love.

She disguised it with a ridiculous lie.

Though she was still sad, with this, Renee could walk again.

Tap—

And so, she walked and walked, and before she knew it, it was the finale.

At the shack in the slums where Vera’s memories began, Renee continued her now habitual prayers while observing her body.

It was then she realized.

‘...This is the end.’

That the end had now arrived.

Fizzle—

She attempted to unleash her divinity, but nothing happened.

It was because she had overexerted herself, preparing everything for this final moment to send him into the past.

‘Today.’

Today would be the last day.

Once she left him and died alone, he would go to the past.

Her end would serve as his stepping stone for a new beginning.

Crawl.

Crawl.

She could hear bugs crawling.

Moisture seeped into her burnt and ravaged skin.

Her strength had already faded, and the authority that had distorted fate for so long no longer took her side.

“Cough...!”

The subsequent cough would be the last sound Renee heard from Vera.

Renee raised her head.

‘Ah.’

That’s right, they had been arguing.

It was an argument sparked by her telling him how beautiful she was in the past.

She remembered being so angry that he didn’t believe her words until the very end despite her current wretched appearance.

‘My memories...’

Even though it had just happened, only now did it come back to her as a memory.

Renee felt a sense of foreboding.

‘I have to go.’

She really had to go now.

If she stayed here any longer, she would collapse and die right before his eyes.

Thud—

She leaned against the wall.

“...Then I’ll go out for a while.”

As she spoke and tried to get up, there was a rustling noise.

“You’d better leave the Rosary behind.”

He said in a dying voice.

Renee felt her heart drop.

That one line made her want to rely on him and fall asleep in his warmth instead of meeting a lonely end.

‘...No.’

But she could not do that.

It would truly be the end if she just endured this, and the future she wished for would come true.

Renee replied.

“How could I ever do that?”

“...I guess the prayers you’ve been praying for the whole time must have been for someone to kill you.”

“Please. I’m not going to die until you get out of bed.”

She lied for the last time.

Stumbling and leaning along the wall, she headed for the door.

Pausing there, she placed her hand against it and said,

“I’ll be back.”

And so, she bid him farewell.

***

Splash—

Splash—

Thick, muddy water splattered her feet.

With no shoes in her wretched state, it couldn’t be helped.

Renee wandered the slums with a hand over her chest.

The cross was still warm.

Splash—

Her mind was hazy, her thoughts barely connected, and her eyelids were far too heavy. She couldn’t muster any strength in her legs to take another step forward.

Renee twitched her lips with effort.

“...It’s over.”

She muttered words meant for no one in particular.

“It’s all over. Vera will live now.”

Now, even the mask she had worn for so long could be cast off.

Thinking so, she smiled faintly.

“You’ll come to see me, right? I still remember how stupidly Vera acted back then.”

Whether it was her muddled mind blurring the line between memory and reality, Renee felt as though the place she walked now was the crossroads in Remeo where they first met.

“We’ll go to Elia together. And go on trips, eat delicious food, and dates too....”

As if her intuition was telling her that her long-tormented mind would be set free, her life flashed before her eyes.

“Ah... I’m happy. I don’t have to experience the moment Vera leaves anymore.”

As she recalled her life, her thoughts imagined their future.

All while smiling with her burnt, ravaged face.

Splash—

Splash—

Renee’s mumbling continued.

The slums transformed into a blurry echo.

It was long after when Renee’s voice fell silent again, unable to know where she was.

Splash—

Her lips closed.

The barely smiling face fell once more, making her burns even uglier.

Tears flowed down.

“Vera will...”

Meet me.

Me.

The me that’s not me.

Not the me who longed so desperately for you, but me, who still knows nothing.

Her steps stopped.

Renee collapsed right there.

With her hands clasped before the cross, she wept.

“Uah....”

The cross was warm, but that was all.

It didn’t hug her, whisper warm words, or gift her sweet kisses.

It only provided meager warmth.

“Wahh....”

She wanted to see him.

Not the Vera who didn’t know her, but the Vera who looked at her.

“I don’t want this...”

Renee prayed with every last speck that remained of her divinity and authority.

She hoped it would be her by his side as he started his new beginning, and that they could be together again the next time.

“I hate this...”

But her soul was decaying.

Her existence could no longer maintain its form, and her body was a diseased ruin that even slum rats wouldn’t scavenge.

Her authority faded away, as did the last specks of her divinity.

What Renee had wished so desperately for.

The end that she had turned a blind eye to now loomed before her, strangling her without concealment.

Why does it have to be so cruel?

If this is how it will end, what was I trying so desperately for?

Even if it’s a future where he survives, how can it be a happy future if I’m not there?

Drip—

Her tears seeped into the muddy water.

Her trembling hands no longer even had the strength to grasp the cross, so they dropped down.

Drip—

She wanted to cry her heart out, but the burns that had seeped down to her bones didn’t permit even that.

“Cough...!”

Blood came up her throat.

Her body which had exhausted all of its life screamed for her to let go.

‘This...’

This wasn’t it.

This wasn't the journey she had envisioned.

Her thoughts dimmed, her body collapsed, her senses faded, and there was a thirst that arose despite it all.

The moment Renee struggled to draw ragged breaths…

Splash—

Muddy water splashed.

Someone was approaching her.

“Uhuk...!”

As she vomited mouthfuls of blood, the person who approached knelt down beside her.

Renee tried to look up.

Thinking the one who came could be the scavengers here to finish her off, she trembled with both fear and anticipation.

The desire for her agonizing pain to end and the longing to see her beloved arose simultaneously.

As she wretchedly collapsed, the person who approached placed a hand on Renee’s cheek.

“You didn’t come back so I came to find you, but what is this horrid state you’re in?”

Thump—

Renee’s body froze, and her lips moved numbly.

Am I dreaming?

The voice she heard was so painfully nostalgic.

The sensation of skin touching her cheek was so vivid.

“...ra.”

She reached out a trembling hand, overlapping it over the hand on her cheek.

“Ve…”

“Yes.”

A response came back.

“I’m here.”

Thump!

Renee’s heart pounded.

Despite her blurred senses, clear tears suddenly spilled from her eyes. With newfound strength, she clenched her teeth tightly.

That hand she had longed for caressed her cheek, and the voice she had wanted to hear again seeped into her ears.

“...Let’s go back.”

Only then could Renee cry like a child.

She wept as she smiled.

Tiny orbs of light swirled around her and faded away.

All that remained in the dark, damp swamp was a girl with a peaceful expression, fast asleep.

***

Vera walked alone on the black path in a world of pure white.

In his arms was a pure white woman, woven together by clusters of light.

The woman, without even the slightest scratch on her skin, slept with a content expression as if in her mother’s embrace.

Step.

Step.

Vera, who had been walking silently, reached the end of the path.

There was a massive black door.

Stopping before the door, he momentarily glanced down at the woman in his arms.

“...Let’s go back,” he spoke, holding her tight.

***

A wind blew across the meadow.

In the distance was a large watermill and a farmer leading his cow and plow, along with children playing in a village.

‘Remeo.’

Remeo of Horden.

This seemed to be where he had returned to.

At the top of a hill overlooking the village, Vera sat down and laid Renee’s head upon his thigh, gazing at her sleeping face.

Buuzzzz—

The Holy Sword cried out.

Vera smiled and responded.

“Yes, I’ve finally found her.”

Reaching out his hand, he stroked her hair.

His fingertips brushed past her smooth cheek.

Her tangled hair coiled around his finger.

“Finally...”

Snow-white and precious, the only thing he had wished for had returned to him.

Vera’s expression clouded over.

The light illuminating his ashen eyes grew damp with moisture.

“Now I can...”

A breeze swept across again.

Her snow-white strands fluttered in the wind, covering his view.

And once more, the darkness that had seeped into his heart lightened.

It was over.

The boy who was born as a sacrifice, who had lived to satiate his greed, and the villain who had tried to fill the void inside them with those desires.

At the end of this long journey, he could finally grasp what he had truly wished for all this time.

Realizing this, Vera’s expression clouded.

The face Renee would see first when she opened her eyes shouldn’t be one of tears.

His body, which had always followed his will, refused to obey him this one time.

His eyes grew hot and tears of happiness seeped out, carrying his warmth.

It fell down below, landing on the snow-white cheek.

Drip—

“Mm…”

A murmur escaped Renee’s lips.

Feeling the wetness that fell on her cheek, Renee lifted her head sluggishly, still drowsy and blurry-eyed.

After that, she blinked vacantly with her mouth wide open.

“Huh...?”

Is this a dream?

Just what am I seeing right now?

Green.

Shade.

And a man.

That was what her blinking eyes took in.

Beneath his black hair, ashen eyes gazed back at her.

He had sharp, striking features.

With an expressionless face, he seemed like someone who could be very scary.

However, those features still made her heart race.

Slide—

Renee placed her hand on the man’s cheek in a daze.

The texture was immensely familiar.

Just as Renee’s slightly open lips were about to speak...

“Are you awake?”

He said brightly, smiling.

Along with his smile were tears glistening in the sunlight.