The Villain Wants to Live
chapter-116

Chapter 116: Sophien (2)

As soon as I left Sophien’s bedroom, I moved to the Imperial Palace’s basement. I came out practically running, but a statue was blocking my path.

“Keiron.”

Keiron raised his eyes to regard me. The blade of the sword he held scraped against the floor.

“…”

Keiron didn’t say anything. However, yesterday, Julie said that my wound was from a sword. From then on, I had expected something like this might occur. In the first place, there weren’t many people strong enough to penetrate Iron Man and were also too fast for me to mount a defense.

“I thought deeply.”

Keiron’s voice rang low, the tip of his sword lifting upward.

“What was your conclusion?”

“…It’s that I’m Her Majesty’s knight. It doesn’t matter to me whether the world turns upside down or it goes as a demon wills it.”

Keiron was a knight only for the Emperor. Therefore, he wished only for Sophien’s happiness and protection. He was a knight as savvy as Julie. No, his single-mindedness was worse than Julie’s.

“The mirror swore to me. It promised me a new world.”

“…There is nothing more stupid than believing in a demon, Keiron.”

The new world was promised to Keiron by the Devil’s Mirror… I could only imagine what it would be like. Perhaps it would be a world in which Sophien was never ill. It would be a world in which she grew up in peace and ruled the Empire with kindness. Or perhaps it would be a world of mirrors in which right-handed and left-handed people were reversed. Regardless, it would be a world as good as a Game Over.

“That would be the end. It’s a demon promising you this, Keiron.”

“No. It is a restart, not the end. There is no one more important in this world than Her Majesty. If there is a master of the world, it would be her. The real world only exists where Her Majesty is.”

To some extent, that was correct. It was impossible to specify the main character in this world’s view, but if the most important character were the main one, it would be Sophien, of course. When she died, the player’s game would end as well.

“If there is a sun in this world, it’s her. A miraculous living witness-“

Boom-!

At that moment, a mace rose from nearby and bashed into Keiron’s flank.

Baaaang-!

Keiron was thrown to the side by the surprise attack as my eyes were drawn back instinctively. A knight in full-plate-mail greeted me.

“Hurry, go!”

She was heavily armed, covering not only her body but also her face, but as soon as I heard her voice, I knew who it was. Julie.

“…”

Keiron stood, wiping away his spilled blood, but his feet froze as he tried to move.

“Professor, quickly!”

Julie’s voice echoed urgently from within her iron helmet. Keiron released his magical power to burn away Julie’s ice.

“Go!”

If I let myself be worried and stand around, I would only be worsening Julie’s situation.

“…Okay.”

I nodded and ran to the basement door.

Clank-!

Their weapons clashed with a spark as Julie moved to intercept Keiron from chasing me. I soon reached the wooden gate leading to the basement of the Imperial Palace, sprinting down the steep stairs to grab the doorknob.

Whoooosh…

A dazzling light filled my world.

* * *

…After entering 「The Devil’s Mirror」, I looked around. I could see mirrors all around me, infinitely reflecting my form.

“Hi.”

A voice came from behind me. I spun to face her in the mirror. It was Sophien. No, to be precise, it was the Devil’s Mirror taking on Sophien’s appearance.

“I borrowed this image to make it easier to talk.”

“I know even if you don’t explain.”

I looked him up and down.

“Did you convince Keiron with that look?”

“Yeah. That friend is a knight that acts only for the Emperor. After showing my sincerity, he came up with a way to make Sophien happy.”

The mirror grinned, though that smile on Sophien’s face felt out of place.

“Did you also bring in the Altar?”

“Yes.”

“You never meant to bring their god back to life.”

“Yeah. I was just going to use them and throw them away. I am a demon, after all.”

The Resurrection of God led by the Altar was an event belonging to the latter half of the main quest. It couldn’t be advanced or stopped with this demon’s power.

“Now what?”

“What? Deculein. Your world is already very polluted. Sophien regressed exactly 143 times, causing a lot of cracks.”

“Cracks.”

“Yes. Besides Sophien, someone else has also regressed. Do you think it makes sense for humans to go back in time just because a small demon shed a few drops of the spirit of regression?”

“…”

“At this rate, if Sophien dies a few more times, the whole world may be destroyed.”

I looked at the mirror that took Sophien’s form, peering into his eyes.

“But when I become the world, everyone can live happily. Safely. Without any risk.”

“…”

The demon hatred inherent in the Yukline’s veins rose to my throat. I wanted to strangle him, but I just shook my head. He continued bluntly.

“You don’t want it?”

“I am only here to keep my promise.”

“…Promise? Okay, try anything. But how? I will never open the door for you. You will be locked in here for the rest of your life.”

He crossed his arms. I began to glance over the mirrors filling the space around me without paying him anymore mind. I placed my hand on the glassy surface.

“Your will is not necessary.”

“Why? This is my world.”

“Because you are a demon.”

The Devil’s Mirror. He’s a demon, and a demon and dark energy were integral to each other. Therefore, the Devil’s Mirror contained dark energy. No, this space was filled with it. That meant— in this world, I could use my [Understanding] infinitely. Of course, in that case, the load on me would be enormous. Aside from the possibility that Deculein’s personality could be transferred, his life might end up in jeopardy.

“…”

Nevertheless, I put my hand on the mirror. Without hesitation, I activated [Understanding.]

─!

Thousands of units of mana are consumed in an instant. And then, nine hundred, eight hundred, seven hundred… mana leaked from my very veins. The amount of mana that disappeared every second was incredible, but the same amount of dark energy was converted back into mana nearly instantly.

“…What are you doing?”

Suspicion colored the demon’s voice. But with my eyes closed, I couldn’t see his face.

“Wait, wait.”

His voice was enough for me to imagine what it looked like. A demon without such experience was perplexed by my actions.

“How is this… n-no!”

His reaction changed strangely. His voice trembled, and his hands gripped my waist. But his physical power was non-existent. A mere mirror couldn’t harm a human being.

“Stop!”

The deeper I looked, the deeper I understood. And the more I understood, the more desperate his reactions became.

“Stop it—!”

As my [Understanding] progressed, dark energy engulfed my body, and my body began to ache as if my blood was about to burst out, but I didn’t care.

“Don’t, don’t! Stop–!”

Thump—!

My heart began to pound loudly, and blood flowed from my mouth.

“You will die too! You know that-!”

I could die, as he said, but I wasn’t afraid. My ego was not weak enough to be broken so easily.

“Don’t look a-any deeper—!”

Hearing his shriek, I opened my eyes again. My pupils reflected in the mirror were already dyed purple. The veins bulging through my neck were as black as the roots of my hair.

“…”

I looked back at him. He was holding his head, breathing heavily.

“Stop. Stop…”

“…This is what a promise means to me.”

A word once uttered could never be taken back. I would protect it even if it meant death. A paranoid obsession, bordering psychotic will. Deculein had no feelings beyond that. I would dig into the bottom of this mirror by activating [Understanding] until the very end.

“Stooooooooooop—!”

* * *

「Episode 3」

It was the third episode when I opened my eyes, finding myself in Sophien’s room. I looked at the calendar hanging in the middle of the large, empty living room. January 1st – it was the starting point for Sophien’s regression. I had succeeded in [Understanding] the mirror.

“…Sigh.”

However, the breath flowing from my mouth left me raggedly. Not only that, the veins bulging all over my body were flickering blue and purple.

[Status Abnormality: Severe Acute Dark Energy Poisoning]

[Status Abnormality: Mana Runaway]

[Status Abnormality: Uncontrollable Inside Force]

Even with the body of Iron Man, those were injuries that may never be healed, but it didn’t matter. I looked at the mirror in Sophien’s room. The surface reflected Sophien lying in bed.

“Your Highness.”

—…!

Sophien lifted herself, her jaw opening and closing blankly as she looked for the source of my voice.

“I’m back.”

-Huh…

Sophien struggled to press the corner of her lips up into a smile. I sat in the chair next to her.

—Ahem. Professor.

“Yes.”

Her next words were compensation enough.

-Okay… it’s nice to see you. You kept your promise.

Promise. It was a word that somehow put my heart at ease.

* * *

…Although I arrived pompously, as the person in the mirror, there wasn’t much I could do. The mirror magic and glass magic I had learned were useless. Just reading the book that Sophien brought over, talking to her, and repeating a deep breathing exercise was all I could do.

Every moment and every breath I took was painful, the clear side effect of consuming nearly 60,000 mana in an instant. Perhaps part of my heart or lungs had rotted away.

Tweet- Tweet-

Anyway, we were in the garden of the Imperial Palace, where birds were cheerfully chirping. Sophien laid on the lawn nearby.

-Professor.

“Yes.”

—These days, my body is slowly getting sick again.

“Is that so?”

—…It’s frustrating. How long will I live in this pain?

I remembered what the Devil’s Mirror said. He said Sophien had returned exactly 143 times.

“Your Highness.”

Would it be more painful if she knew the end? Or would she accept it calmly?

-Hm. Why are you calling me?

Rescuing Sophien early was impossible as her healing was already set as a determined task. After dying more than a hundred times, the poison that invaded Sophien’s body was extinguished by the world’s intervention. It was a miracle of chance caused by her repeated regression.

“Would you like to play chess?”

-…Chess?

“Yes.”

—Chess… why suddenly?

“I’m good at chess. Even if Your Majesty invests her whole life to it, you cannot win. So, won’t everything be better when you defeat me?”

I studied chess whenever I had free time. Even if I didn’t have the [Understanding] attribute, I had enough training to become a Grand Master.

-Hmm. You’re cheeky. Will you be okay? I learn anything easily.

“Yes.”

-Sounds good. Bring me the chessboard!

Sophien shouted and stood.

-Hey! Isn’t there anyone here?! Bring a chessboard!

* * *

…The first heir of the Imperial family, Sophien, was always with a mirror. The hand mirror hung from her waist was her symbol to the court officials, and her story about the professor she sometimes spoke of was both worrying and reassuring. They were worried that she was going crazy but relieved that she was able to forget her pain, at least for a little, thanks to her imagination.

“Sophien.”

“Yes, father.”

Even on the day of her audience with the Emperor and her biological father, Crebaim, Sophien carried the hand mirror. Crebaim regarded her with a small smile.

“Is your friend in the mirror okay?”

“…”

She moved her lips for a moment without answering. No one in the palace wanted to believe her, and the friend in question didn’t want to show himself.

“Yes. He’s fine.”

“Okay. If you and your friend are in good health, then I’m happy too.”

“…Yes.”

Crebaim said this and that before offering her a new hand mirror as a gift. Sophien politely took the mirror and ended the audience. She wasn’t happy, however. After all, if she died again, it would disappear.

“…”

Sophien was about to return to her room when she noticed her brother Kreto’s residence. After looking around, she slipped inside. A child of about three years old was sleeping on the bed. Sophien moved over to watch him sleep, smiling.

“…What do you think? He can hardly talk, but he’s cute.”

When she talked to the hand mirror, an answer came back.

-Yes.

Her younger brother Kreto was still so young. He was a half-sibling, but he was cute every time she saw him. He was one of the few things in life that made her smile.

“…I think it’s fortunate that this guy doesn’t have to suffer like me.”

Sophien fiddled with his plump cheeks until Kreto began to fidget, his face creasing up in a frown.

“Now, let’s go back. If I get caught, it will be embarrassing.”

Sophien pressed her finger to his face a few times before she left. She headed back to her room.

*

…Their daily life ended there. The night Sophien poked Kreto’s face, she died due to sepsis. She couldn’t stand the germs of a three-year-old baby.

‘Your Highness–!’

The desperate cry of her servants had become like a background sound. She died that day, and then the next, going rapidly through the 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th…

In the meantime, my existence didn’t make it any easier for her to bear with it or to live her life unhindered.

—Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!

Her mind was broken several times, and she also committed suicide a lot.

-Anyway. I’ll start over. Anyway, anyway! I will start all over again! What the hell does this damn life mean…

It was exactly like that until the 65th regression. From then on, she approached it with resignation. After sixty-five deaths, Sophien spent her days lying in bed.

“Your Highness.”

—…

「Episode 66」.

Her droopy face turned to face me. It was too tragic for an eight-year-old to bear.

“No matter how many episodes are repeated, there are things that never start again. There is a skill that never goes away.”

—…What is it?

“It’s chess. Your chess skills don’t abandon you with regression.”

That was the reason I recommended chess. Sophien had been steadily honing her skill, but she hadn’t yet acquired the proficiency to beat me.

-…Okay. Good for you for being good.

Sophien retorted and laid back down. It hadn’t worked.

“…”

Looking at her like that, I began to think. How many episodes could I endure in the future?

“Your Highness.”

─Why again?

I was dying. The functions of my lungs and heart had already stopped by more than half, and my blood vessels eroded by dark energy squeezed at my nerves, causing unbearable pain.

“Make a signal with me.”

So, I had to save stamina. I needed to allocate my time efficiently.

-A signal?

“Yes. It is a signal to call me.”

I tapped the mirror a couple of times.

“If you tap twice like this, I will wake up.”

—Why?

“Even I need time to sleep.”

-Humph. I can’t even sleep because I’m sick, but you can.

Today Sophien was still a child, offering childish complaints.

“Instead, I will spend all of my waking hours with you.”

I couldn’t help it. It was hard for me to even move right now as my lower body was almost entirely paralyzed.

-…Okay. Do whatever you want.

I hated to admit it, but I had to. The dark energy had already engulfed my body.

—Instead, I will commit suicide tomorrow.

Sophien frowned, dissatisfied. She committed suicide the next day, and, of course, the world started over. Since then, I continued to watch her countless regressions while enduring my suffering.

Life repeated, death repeated, despair echoed out, everything began again, disappeared again, began again, disappeared again. Disease and suffering, humanity and all things, world and cause, mind and body, time and space, evil and good, light and darkness…

At that moment, when I thought all these things were futile and floating through the insignificant, meaningless years—

─Finally.

「Episode 140 」

I realized that the time had come.

* * *

It was December, the peak of winter. A harsh and cold wind swept the continent, and winter monsters trampled people’s lives as they pleased, but beautiful pollen still scattered among the flowers in the gardens of the Imperial Palace. A benevolent warmth embraced the palace.

“Cough, cough- didn’t you hear me tell you to go?”

A tone very different from that peace, speaking in a passive, rotten fish-like voice.

“However, Your Highness. You haven’t taken all your meds yet-“

“It’s no use. I won’t take them. I said piss off. Hey Keiron! Get them all out!”

Sophien, lying on the bed, sent all her servants away. After that, she stood and knocked on the mirror a couple of times.

“Knock, knock— Professor. Are you there?”

-Yes. I’m here.

“…Okay. These days, I’m enduring for a strangely long time?”

Sophien was surprised by this life. Her body still hurt, but she had endured this regression for a surprisingly long time. No, she was just holding up. She had no desire to live but was forced to regardless.

“How many times have I died?”

—139 times.

“Hm… today is December 31st, so tomorrow is January 1st?”

-Yes. Think that everything will be better if you hold out until tomorrow.

“Hmph. What?”

Sophien pursed her lips. She didn’t have any expectations. Her mind had already been broken dozens of times and reassembled, to the point she held no more interest in life. Still, it was comforting to know that the only person by her side thus far, the professor, was with her when she regressed. She didn’t care anymore if he was an illusion created by her ailing mind.

-Your Highness.

Sophien innocently tilted her head.

“What?”

—I will be watching Your Highness everywhere.

“…Suddenly?”

She stared at the professor in the mirror. He had his eyes closed.

—It’s not suddenly.

“…”

—Even if I am out of sight for a while…

Hearing those words, a corner of her heart suddenly felt an ominous cloud. Sophien licked her lips.

—I will always be here for your process.

“Are you saying that you will not leave now, even if it’s as if you are leaving?”

-…Your Highness. May I ask you for one promise? Just as I kept Your Highness’s promise that day.

Sophien didn’t say anything. Still, the professor didn’t stop. Rather, he pushed on calmly.

—No matter what happens… don’t take your own life.

“…”

What kind of bullshit was this? At the outrageous request, Sophien pouted.

“What kind of bullshit is that?”

—Cherish your life… Your Highness.

“Is there anywhere else you have to go?”

-No.

The professor in the mirror smiled. A soft, powerless smile. But for Sophien, it was the first smile she had ever seen from him. It knocked her silent.

-Your Highness. Now it’s late, so have a good rest.

“…”

Sophien sniffed and looked at her watch. It was 8:30 in the evening, time to sleep. If she didn’t sleep more than 14 hours a day, her body would break.

—I’ll be waiting.

“…I will not sleep.”

It appeared that she was about to fall asleep, but she forced her eyes to remain wide open. She was going to stay up all night looking into the mirror.

“I’m not going to sleep…”

Sophien lay on the bed and glanced at him sideways. Fortunately, the professor was there every time she looked in the mirror as if he had no intention of leaving. Well, even if he intended to leave, how could she catch someone in a mirror? After accepting that sense of resignation and relief, she fell asleep again.

…And like that, the next day arrived.

Tweet- Tweet-

When she woke up to the sound of chirping birds.

“…?”

Sophien felt strange, enveloped by a feeling of freshness unlike what she had ever felt before.

“Huh?”

She blinked a few times and raised her torso. After being tormented for so long, she didn’t feel the pain she was used to. So, after thinking for a moment, ‘is this the underworld?’, she prodded at her body. However, there wasn’t pain. There was no pain whatsoever.

“…H-Hey! Keiron!”

-Your Highness. Did you call me?

“What is today’s date?!”

—January 1st, 23.

The year 23 of the reign of Emperor Crebaim. If she had died and regressed, it should be January 1st, 22.

“Year 23? Are you sure?!”

-Yes. That’s right.

Suppose today was January 1st, 23. If so, then, if so…

Sophien shivered with excitement and wrapped her arms around her face.

“Am I healed…?”

Suddenly, the professor’s words came to mind.

-Yes. Think that everything will be better if you hold out until tomorrow.

His words to think that tomorrow would be better. Sophien grabbed her pounding chest and yelled.

“Professor!”

He didn’t answer, but she scrambled up toward the mirror.

“…Professor!”

She sent the promised signal, tapping the mirror twice.

“Professor! I think I’m healed! As you said!”

However, he did not respond.

“…”

No matter how deep she stared into the mirror, no matter how much she waited with her eyes closed.

“Professor?”

Unlike in the decades they had spent together, the professor who should answer ‘Is that so’ in a cold and low voice, as usual, did not appear.

Tweet-

A silence settled over her, only broken by the chirps of those fucking birds.

“…Professor?”

Sophien called out to him again, her voice trembling. But he was not in this mirror or any other mirror in the world.

He never appeared again.