"What brings you here……”

Flinch-!!

The doctor who was organizing the medicine on the shelf turned his head when he noticed someone entering the medical barack.

When he saw the condition of the red-haired woman, Lizzy, his shoulders trembled slightly.

“I came to get…… Some medicines.”

“……”

“Am I not even allowed to be treated by a doctor because of the traitorous blood I have?”

"That's not the case. P-please sit down.”

Even though the doctor was not someone who was dispatched to the front lines, he still knew what kind of person the woman in front of him was.

On top of that, he had also seen her in passing and could not help but feel sorry for her when he thought about just what kind of wounds she had suffered underneath the dust and blood stains of the enemy soldiers that stained her.

“Please let me know if you have any symptoms of additional internal injuries other than the externally visible injuries.”

“Every time I urinate...… My crotch hurts.”

“T-that’s……”

Even though it was an embarrassing topic to be talked about, the doctor still listened to Lizzy with a calm expression on his face and began to give her an answer.

Once someone became a doctor, the appointment that gave them the most money was something that was related to the hygiene of nobles.

Amongst other things was about sexually transmitted diseases. Therefore, there were only a handful of doctors who were not well-versed in that subject.

“It’s probably because you haven’t been able to maintain your hygiene properly since you have lived on the battlefield for a long time. Since it's not summer, the inflammation won't spread further...… But, I will still prescribe you some medicine and ointment, so take them. If you have time, please wash the affected area lightly with water.”

Of course, Lizzy knew that well.

After all, she was the one who had induced the doctor to think that way.

She couldn't just say out loud that Ferzen had raped her and ripped open her womanhood.

After having her bruises and broken fingers treated, Lizzy returned to her hut with the prescribed medicine and ointment. Once she was inside, she pulled her pants down and carefully looked at her slit.

“……”

Even though it seemed like it wouldn't close at all before, before she knew it, her vagina was already closed tight while her swollen labia were trembling.

Unwilling to be seen while looking at her private parts, Lizzy quickly and carefully spread the ointment on them.

"Ah……”

At that moment, Lizzy shuddered in horror as she saw some of Ferzen's semen that had been lodged in her womb, dripping out.

She thought that she had cleaned herself well, but was her uterus still so full of semen to the point it was leaking out like this?

Lizzy wiped it away with a smile, not knowing whether it was a mocking or happy laugh, and carefully placed her hand on her lower stomach which was still bloated and full.

As much as she wanted all the semen inside her to drip out, this was one of those weapons that would threaten Ferzen and was perhaps capable of destroying him.

Therefore, Lizzy just applied the ointment to her crotch again, took her medicine, and went to see Astel, the head of her group.

"You……!”

When Astel saw Lizzy's face, his eyes widened as if surprised, and sighed. He then stroked his bangs and licked his lips.

“Are you okay…?”

“I am okay.”

“Even though I said I will take care of you on the battlefield…… I also have limits to my ability.”

"I am aware. Don’t worry, I didn’t come to complain to you, the captain, about that.”

Even though he seemed to be glad that was the case, his expression seemed to indicate that he wasn't comfortable and wanted her to get straight to the business she had with him.

“I want to move again.”

"Where?"

“What do you mean where? To the hut where other members of our group are staying.”

“Your current place is not that…… far. To put it bluntly, the nightmares you have every time you fall asleep are disturbing us. That’s why I moved you.”

“I won’t have that nightmare anymore.”

“There’s definitely a reason as to why you said so. But honestly, isn’t it good to have your own space?”

“……”

Lizzy did not respond to Astel's words any longer and remained silent.

The reason she went out of her way to request Astel to change her living quarters again was to increase the stake for Ferzen if he ever decided to kill her.

Killing her in a place where the attention of people, as well as the soldiers, was focused meant he was willing to reveal some of his ugly side in the aftermath.

On top of that, in order to completely silence her, he would have to smash or melt her head so that her memory could not be checked with feedback.

If he used such a cruel method, the word would definitely spread.

……Of course, that was only a temporary solution.

Even though there were countless eyes on the battlefield,

Those countless eyes would not be looking at her.

"Do whatever you want. I will tell the unit members.”

"Thank you."

“Is there anything else you want to say?”

"Ah…… ”

“I see you still have some business with me.”

When Astel, who was about to walk away, crossed his arms and looked at her again, Lizzy paused for a moment and then raised her head.

“Astel. This is a question that might make you a little uncomfortable.”

“Anything is fine as long as you don’t cry and say you’re scared while grabbing my pants and asking me to send you back home.”

“I am glad that is the case.”

Lizzy, who had been placing her hands on the armrests of her wheelchair, gathered them tightly and said her next bits in a whisper.

"What……What was your first sex experience like?”

“……”

“Let me make it clear. Your sexual relationship...…”

“Y-you don’t have to make it clear.”

Despite his calm demeanor, Astel expressed his embarrassment by stuttering, coughing, laughing excessively, and cupping his face.

“Just what is the…… The intention of that question?”

“I’m just merely curious.”

“About my history with women?”

"No. Just what does sex itself mean to other people?”

Even if he had experience in such kind of sensitive talks, Astel still could not help but feel quite embarrassed as it was Lizzy who had asked such things first.

Perhaps……

Did she miss people’s embrace,

Because she was tired and exhausted?

Even though she had the same blood as the traitors, she was still a woman with a beautiful appearance.

The soldiers who had their stress piled up because of the battlefield would gladly respond without saying anything if she decided to seduce them.

And did Lizzy want to relieve her solitude, loneliness, and the stress that came from the battlefield in that way?

“You…… How do you express your love?”

"I’m not sure. Isn’t it enough to tell them I love them?”

“Well, that’s right. Normally, the way to express your feelings toward someone is to say that you love them.”

“……”

“But do you know how to express your feelings without saying those words?”

“Should I give him some gift?”

“That is something that you can do even though you don't love them, isn’t it?”

“……”

“In that respect, sex is the only way to express your love through means other than words…… At least I think so.”

“Is that so?”

“Sending love only through words will eventually become boring. So, if you love someone, you should say ‘I love you’ as sparingly as possible.”

"I see."

“Anyway, it’s like this. Friendship, worship, respect. There are many different types of human emotions. And the way to express each of them to others is different, right? In that respect, sex is one of the few means of communicating the feeling of love. When you mix your body with the person you love, the feeling of that person focusing entirely on you, the feeling of exposing all the secrets and blending into one...… Ha…… How should I explain this……”

Scratch-!!

Astel, who was vigorously scratching the back of his head and smoothing out the dark circles around his eyes, continued speaking with an expression that showed that he had gathered his thoughts.

"People live together in cities and towns, but that doesn't mean they're really living together, does it? But when you're in bed with someone you love, you get the feeling that they're the only person in this big, cold world that's with you...... and sometimes it makes it all the more affectionate."

“......”

“Men and women who behave carelessly talk about sex like it was nothing but simple sexual entertainment...… However, there is definitely value in that connection. But, if you are thinking about something strange, just keep in mind that you should not kick away your future happiness.”

Astel finished his sentence with a deep sigh, looked down at Lizzy, and then turned to walk away.

Meanwhile, Lizzy no longer held on to Astel. She just sat quietly in the wheelchair and looked up at the now clear blue sky.

“……”

Lizzy Poliana Claudia.

The question that she threw at Astel had no particularly complicated intention.

She just wanted to know how much of a sacrifice she had made last night was worth to others.

Creak-!!

And through Astel's answer, she realized that what she had lost the night before was something quite precious. Lizzy led her wheelchair with a bitter smile on her face.

* * * * *

“Ha……”

Meanwhile, Astel, who had answered Lizzy's question and walked away, belatedly touched his reddened ear and lowered his head.

It was really surprising to be asked such a question by Lizzy, but he found it additionally absurd for him to answer the question even though he had never hugged a woman in bed before.

Even though he had racked his brain to come up with the answer to her question, to be honest, he didn't know what he had said. And if he was asked to recall it right now, he would not be able to remember a single sentence.

But still……

Astel shrugged with unnecessary self-esteem that was as if he'd had his fair share of women.

chapter-223
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