Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi
chapter-452-30041322

Gumihou: Venturing into new territory! Gumi to edit/translate solo~!

After leaving Ruka-sama’s church, the next place we visited was the Church of the Wind Goddess. In other words, Fer’s much-awaited Ninril-sama’s church.

Of all the Goddesses within the pantheon, Ninril-sama has the smallest number of believers, with a correspondingly smaller church. Still, the Brixt church was not quite as miserable as the one in Hirschfield.

Anyway, because of the size of the building, Fer had to wait outside with the others while I enter.

“Excuse me, is anyone here?”

A nun appeared wearing the familiar white nun habit.

“Yes? How may I assist you?”

“Actually, I’m here to make a donation…”

The initial shock was followed by the usual actions running off to fetch the priest etc etc

This time, the priest was a tad overweight middle-aged man with round eyes. “Haahhh… haahhh… I’m the priest here, haaahh, my name is Eleutherio.”

“Hello, I am Adventurer Mukouda…”

Etc etc

“…I’d like it if my donation could be used to help young children from the orphanage as much as possible.”

Eleutherio nodded agreeably, apparently happy to receive any donations.

“We are a small church, but we do support a small orphanage. Goodness, those kids sure know how to eat. It seems like all the money we collected goes into their bottomless little bellies…”

Ah, as expected. [5] Well, that certainly seems to be the universal problem with all orphanages in this world. When I handed the three platinum coins to Eleutherio, he started to cry, “I can finally feed the children meat after such a long time…”

With tears in his eyes, he insisted on taking me around the church and visiting the orphans, but I politely declined. When I finally left the church, Priest Eleutherio and several sisters came out to send us off.

The next place we went to was the Church (?) of the God of War, Vahagn-sama.

Well, rather than a church, it was probably more correct to call it a ‘gathering place for Vahagn-sama’s worshipers’.

Generally, these were people who worked hard to increase their strength in a number of ways.

“It’s here…”

From the other side of the heavy door, sounds of metal swords clashing and yells of ‘Hah!’ and ‘Yah!’ could be heard. I know the door is heavy, because I tried pushing it open…

“Excuse me~ ugh, why is this door so heavy… eh?”

I pushed past the door and was faced with dozens of very buff and scary-looking people pointing their swords and spears at us.

My hands quickly went up in a gesture of surrender, “Ahahha, I’m not a suspicious person. Um, that is, I heard that this is the church (?) of Vahagn-sama? The God of War?”

“We do not have a formal church, but yes, this is the gathering place of His believers. What is your business here?” asked one of the sword-wielding men. There was a frightening look in his eyes.

“Ah, that is, anyway, these are all my familiars. So, uh, they won’t do anything so long as I am unharmed. What I mean to say is that it’s all fine.”

“”Please do not provoke them.”” I immediately informed my familiars.

“Hoh, so you’re saying that I can fight the Fenrir and the Dragon if I lay hands on you?” someone else said with a grin.

Oi, what’s with that battle-thirsty behaviour? Vahagn-sama, is this what your believers are like?!

“Humph, those who do not know their own strength dare to challenge their betters? I supposed the followers of the God of War are just a bunch of punks,” Fer sneered.

“Don’t say that. Having the guts to challenge us shows their spirit. It’s all about the fighting spirit nowadays,” Grandpa Gon said in a slightly pitying voice.

“”””What!!!”””

“You two, stop it, stop making trouble for me.”

Ugh, what should I do about this…

“Shut up!”

A powerful voice cut through the room.

From the back of the room, a muscular man in his 30s, with a scar down one cheek, stepped out.

“Instructor…”

The crowd murmured and parted like the red sea for the man.

“The Fenrir and the Ancient Dragon are right. You guys are no match for them. Not even I would last a second against them.”

The believers looked confused by this statement.

Seriously, why are you guys confused? Isn’t this just common sense?

“You bunch of maggots, learn to read your opponent’s ability before challenging them!”

“””YES!!!”””

The followers of Vahagn went back to their training.

Honestly, I’m a bit frightened by them.

This place is more like a tiger’s den than a temple or church.

“You’re S Ranker Mukouda, aren’t you? Well, I’d like to invite you to my office, but… apologies, we don’t have the facilities to accommodate your companions. So, do come this way.”

The Instructor led us through the training grounds, through a connecting corridor and into a different courtyard.

“Apologies for the inadequate space,” said the Instructor.

“No, no, no trouble. It’s my fault for dropping by suddenly,” I said.

“So, what can I do for you?”

“Well, about that…”

Once again, donations blah-blah-blah etc etc.

“… I see some children around, are they being cared for here?”

“Yeah, most of them are either orphans or children who wanted to earn a living through martial arts. They are entrusted to us.”

That… did not sound like a proper orphanage system, but since they take care of children orphaned or left alone due to parents dying or fighting in a war (many of Vahagn-sama’s followers act as mercenaries in wars between small nations) I am perfectly happy to support them.

“I used to be a mercenary in one of those countries but, it’s difficult to raise a child in places where there’s an ongoing war. [1] The place I called home is basically a scarred land now. Somehow, I ended up in this place and had been taking care of the lot over there.”

[1] “I- I see,” not really, but I’m doing my best. “So, uh, you take care of the children here?”

[1] “What? The kids? No way. They more or less raise themselves. It’s those punks there,” he jerked a thumb at the training ground where the sounds of training could still be heard. “You’ve seen it, haven’t you? How they try to challenge your dragon and Fenrir? Idiots, the lot of them. I swear, the kids have more brains in their toes than those lot in their heads.”

[1] “Ah, hah?”

[1] “Hmm, how should I explain it? Going to battle against men and fighting monsters requires a completely different mindset. The tactics could be similar, but fighting one’s fellow man is like testing your skill against a worthy opponent. I never felt as alive as when I’m on the battlefield.”

I… don’t really get it? But, the Instructor has this kind of lonely and wistful look on his face when he talked about fighting humans.

[2] “Umu, I supposed I can understand,” said Fer.

[2] “Testing one’s skill against a rival of a similar strength and capacity is different from taking down weaklings or working together to destroy a more powerful opponent,” Grandpa Gon nodded wisely.

“… …”

[2] All three of them have that lonely wistful look on their faces now. I can’t believe my familiars understand this man better than me, a human.

“Ahem, if possible, I’d really like my donation to go to the children, but I guess there should be plenty to go around?”

“Hm? Ah yes, that’s true. We could always use a little more money around here. I’m registered as an Adventurer and I’m pretty active since there’s barely any demand for mercenaries in this country. This place is too peaceful…” He sighed as though he had been tasked with something difficult.

“… …”

[1] “Anyway, my main job is to instruct those clowns which side of the weapon is actually dangerous, make sure there’s enough food etc. As I said, the kids could take care of themselves. We don’t take anyone too young. As you can see, we aren’t a nurturing lot. Still, though we don’t have an actual orphanage, you can consider this place something like a halfway house for children interested in becoming an Adventurer or a mercenary.”

[1] “I, I see. Actually, I’m still rather stuck on the fact that parents would leave their children here to go off and fight in a war. Isn’t it better for children to be raised with their families?”

[1] “Is it? I never really thought of it. Speaking of which, quite a lot of Adventurers also leave their kids with us, you know?”

[1] “Eeeehh?”

[1] “Especially those from smaller families. We don’t charge much since their kids will be trained in the art of war under War God Vahagn to unleash violence upon the world.”

[3] “… …” I don’t understand it. I absolutely cannot understand anything. No wait, isn’t this something like a daycare? A daycare for young teens… no, wait. Isn’t this more like a summer camp? Yeah, okay, let’s think of this place as a summer camp… for teens interested in… martial arts…

[3] Yes, I do believe I can stretch my donation criteria to include summer camps. Before I could change my mind, I handed over the three platinum coins. I hope I’m not making a mistake financing the next generation of warmongers…

The Instructor was shocked, “Wait, is this alright?!”

“Ahem, ah, I make quite good money dungeon diving…”

[4] “Wow, you sure make Adventuring look profitable… I heard you challenge the dungeon? If a team is strong enough, money could be made in dungeon cities. If only the skirmishes in my hometown would stop, we could probably develop the dungeon there and grow as a proper dungeon city.”

Fer suddenly perked up, “Oi, you have a dungeon in your hometown? Where is your hometown?”

The Instructor was surprised by the sudden question, but he answered anyway, “I come from the Kingdom of Vondel, it’s basically in ruins now. The Kingdom of Vondel [5] happens to be in the way of several smaller kingdoms. No matter who got into a fight, we’d get dragged in.”

“Then, the dungeon…” I said, hoping that he would say that it had been completely destroyed or damaged.

Please be destroyed.

“Oh, it’s still fine.”

Drat.

[5] “Even though Vondel gets dragged into all kinds of fights. It’s mostly random skirmishes. However, because the fighting happened too often, the locals eventually moved away, leaving the kingdom to fall into ruin.”

“Oho, an untouched dungeon, eh? How interesting. Tell us more about it,” Fer smirked.

[6]

We left Vahagn’s ‘temple’ in high spirits.

Well, my familiars left in high spirits. Tails were wagging, slimes were bouncing, flying creatures doing loops in the air…

“You do realise that the dungeon is in a high conflict zone?” I said drily.

“”Human conflicts are meaningless to me,”” said Fer.

“”Dungeon~””

“”Dungeon, dungeon~~””

Naturally, my two smallest familiars were excited about seeing a new dungeon too.

“”Why is everyone so interested in dungeons?”” asked Grandpa Gon.

“Not everyone,” I muttered.

“”It’s a good place to test my skills.””

“”It’s an awesome place to get meat!””

“”Sui get’s to pew pew lots of things~””

“Dungeons don’t always yield things we want, you know,” I said, throwing cold water all over their plans. “Anyway, before thinking about the next dungeon, we must continue with our donation drive first.”

“Tch.”

For once, Fer’s belligerent noise is more amusing than annoying.

[6]

The next church we came to was the Church of [7] Pharmacology (?).

[7] I have never seen this particular god before, but I guess they must exist? I mean, I didn’t know about Demiurgos-sama until he appeared. Maybe the God of Pharmacology doesn’t have vices like the ones I’m taking a list of orders from?

[7] The gathering place for the worshippers of the God of Pharmacology, like the worshippers of Vahagn, did not have an actual church or temple. Instead, they gathered at a large pharmacy.

[7] I supposed it made sense for pharmacists to gather at their places of work. Tristan-san mentioned that they were a group of eccentrics who devote themselves to research, day and night. What a useful and dedicated lot of people. I can respect this kind of work ethic.

The efficacy of potions seems to depend a lot on the pharmacist’s ability. According to Tristan-san, the potions produce by this pharmacy have solid dependability. Adventurers regularly purchase potions from and the Adventurer’s Guild considers the pharmacy an indispensable part of the dungeon city.

Civilians could also purchase potions from the pharmacy at a small store attached to the main building. [7] After some consideration, instead of attempting to enter the guarded and busy main building, I decided to try the small attached store.

Leaving Fer and the rest outside, I entered the pharmacy alone.

“Excuse me~”

“Welcome~” a young man greeted me.

“Um, this the Church of Pharmacology? Right?”

“Rather than a church, it is a facility run by the people who believe in the doctrines of the God of Pharmacology.”

“I see, well, actually…”

Blah, blah etc.

[8] “Really?! Wow, thank you very much!” the young man said cheerfully. “Potions are expensive to make and research is even more expensive since we can’t guarantee the result. Unfortunately, it’s not very glamorous for people to donate money to certain types of research. We always get money for things like hair growth and stuff, but not many people want to donate money to potions that replenish blood. Well, we do get some for that, but beautifying potions still get the bulk of the grants, also-”

“Ahem, that sounds very interesting. I’m very interested to donate. Here.”

The young man’s eye widened and his mouth dropped open at the three platinum coins I placed on the table.

“Please use this to fund life-healing research,” I said before quickly making my retreat.

I had gone down the street with my familiars when I heard the shout of ‘MASTER!!’

Hahaha.

Our next stop was the Church (?) of Hephaestus, the God of Blacksmiths.

“Isn’t this place… a smithy?”

Indeed, sounds of tapping metal and bellows of heat could be heard even from outside the door.

I fearfully pushed the door open, and found myself looking at… a lot of very busy dwarves.

Dwarves hammering red hot metal on anvils. Dwarves with youthful faces running around fetching and carrying. Dwarves, Dwarves everywhere.

No one seemed to have noticed me, or rather, no one seemed to care about my existence.

“Excuse me~”

No one reacted.

“Ahem, um, excuse me? Sorry to be a bother, but-”

“What the heck? We’re busy right now!!”

A nearby Dwarf shouted at me. He has a full beard and looks very senior. I cowered a little bit, but persevered. “It’s very important.”

“Haahh? If it’s so important, sit and wait until things settled down!”

Since I was told off by a Senior Dwarf, I have no choice but to wait.

While waiting, Fer and the others complained about being hungry. Since this is the final stop, I managed to calm them by promising them an excellent meal soon after. Luckily, they subsided. [9] Eventually, they fell asleep. Which was the only reason why no one complained about the one-hour wait.

Yes, you heard me right, one hour.

I expect Senior Dwarf felt sorry for me and came over to where I was waiting with my [9] sleeping companions.

“Well? What do you want?”

“Um, that is…” blah, blah, donation, bla-

“No, we don’t need such things.”

“Eh?” this was certainly a first.

“As blacksmiths, we live by our skills. What we make, we sell. We will never give anything for free, nor do we expect to be given compensation for nothing. Otherwise, we cannot face the God of Blacksmith. That aside, you’re an Adventurer, aren’t you?”

“Uh, yes? Yes, I am.”

“Well?” the Senior Dwarf raised his busy eyebrow meaningfully.

“Oh? Oh! Oh, yes, I’d like to buy something!” I said, finally catching on. “May I?”

“But of course, come with me,” the Senior Dwarf guided me towards a location away from the smithy. It was… a store.

But what a store!

“Oohhh~~”

Daggers, kukris, short swords, claymores. Shamshirs [10], bastard swords, rapier and more besides. Aside from swords, there were also all kinds of spears and axes.

Awesome~~

I mean, I do have the Mithril sword and spear that Sui made for me, but wow, this sight is pretty amazing.

“Well? It’s quite something, isn’t it?”

“Indeed, but, well, I already have a Mithril sword and spear…”

“What? Made from Mithril? Do show me.”

“Alright,” I took out the weapons from my [Item Box] and showed them to the Senior Dwarf, who studied them carefully.

“Splendidly made. I cannot tell who made it, but the blacksmith who created these has great skills. I must work harder and develop my skills even more.”

“Oh, ah, haha.”

I can’t tell him that the Slime sleeping in my leather bag made those…

While trying to change the subject, I look around and latched onto the first thing that caught my eye.

“Hey, that’s a…”

“That’s a Magic Iron Warhammer that I made. It came out pretty well.”

“Wow,” the Warhammer has a rather solid feel to it. When Siegwald-san from the [Ark] wielded it in the dungeon, his prey had shattered most satisfyingly.

I mean, I’m not sure what the necessary skills are needed to wield a Warhammer aside from strength, but it would be nice to have a heavy weapon against monsters like Golems or Gargoyles.

“I’ll have this one please.”

“Umu, that one’s 86 gold.”

I dropped 3 platinum coins into his hand.

“Please keep the change. Please treat the youngsters to a good meal or a [11] drink on me~”

“Hoho, in that case, thank you.”

After receiving the Warhammer, which was lighter than I expected, I left the smithy.

“Well, shall we go home?”

“”I’m hungry, dinner!””

“”Indeed, I am hungry too.””

“”Food~! Food~!””

“”Sui is hungry too~~””

“Haha, alright, we’ll eat as soon as we return. I think I still have some premade Salisbury steaks from last time. Let’s have that tonight.”

“”Salisbury steaks~! Sui likes the one with white things inside~~””

“Oh, the cheese-in type? Yeah, those are delicious.”

““What is ‘cheese’?””

“”It’s a yummy thing~ A yummy thing that is squishy and warm and stretches~~~””

“”Oh? Sounds interesting.””

“”Umu, I prefer meat only.””

“”Eh, it’s nice to have both. I’ll take both, Master!!””

“Haha, erk, hey! What the, Fer!”

“”Too slow, we’re going now.””

“You’re not supposed to run inside the city!”

“”Tch, just clench your teeth. We’re going.””

“Ffffeeeeerrrrrr!!!!”

Needless to say, the people of Brixt were treated to the sight of An Ancient Dragon, a Fenrir with a human clinging to his back and a flying Pixie Dragon rushing through its streets…

[Gumihou: …why is it, that the first chapter I translated on my own after so long had to be so looooonnnngggg????!!! Freaking over 3000 words!! Even with deletes!!]

[1] The Instructor’s story made no sense until the end of the chapter. Anyway, redid the whole thing in a way that reduces Mukouda’s meandering thoughts and giving more details to Instructor’s dialogue for a more natural vibe.

[2] Let Fer and Grandpa Gon jump into the conversation a little earlier.

[3] Gumi’s contribution = Summer camp.

It is pretty normal for people to interpret a foreign idea into something they could accept. In this case ‘a place where young people could go and receive education and experience under a controlled environment’ aka ‘summer camp’. Yes, Japan has summer camps. If you read shoujo, you’ll know that summer camps are the places where students make memories, confess their love etc.

[4] In the original, the ‘Instructor’ grabbed Mukouda’s hand and went ‘thank you, thank you’ while Mukouda was like ‘erk, man holding my hand…’

Clearly, an attempt at a recurring comedic moment, except it felt more repetitive than recurring.

It also fell flat because the actions were too OOC for Instructor. So, Gumi allowed him to retain his dignity and smooth the way to the next canon paragraph involving the Vondel dungeon.

[5] Instead of repetitive ‘skirmishes in Vondel’ add detail about why skirmishes happen.

[6] Delete repetitive ‘dungeon yay’ remarks and make the dialogue more natural

[7] Add detail to make Mukouda’s ponderings make sense

[8] Give the young man a little more personality by making him extra chatty.

[9] Added the ‘falling asleep’ detail, because I can’t imagine Fer and Dora-chan not complaining about the 1 hour wait, promise of a good meal or not.

[10] Shamshir – curved Persian sword, from the ‘scimitar’ family

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shamshir

[11] Added detail ‘drink on me’ because, Dwarves, lol

I’m pretty sure if you give Dwarves money for drinks, they will be more than happy to take it.