Turning
chapter-160

"Quickly, Yuder."

Thud.

As he took in a deep breath, a profound shock resonated within him once again. It was different from the agony that only served to intensify previously. It was a significant tremor, indicating that something within him, something that hadn't existed until now, had finally opened its eyes, taken form, and exhaled its first breath.

Without realizing it, Yuder's trembling hand reached down to his stomach. Even though he couldn't verbalize what had awakened, he knew instinctively with absolute clarity.

The most crucial part of the transformation of the second gender manifestation had just been 'fully' completed.

'Ah...'

Amidst shock and confusion, a heat that seemed to scorch his innards suddenly surged from the depths of his mind. For a few seconds, his consciousness flickered out, and when it returned, he saw the time-worn barrier in front of him slowly dissolving.

He had to shatter the last, fifth crystal in the bracelet, but his hand, weary from the dreadful pain and lethargy, could only twitch weakly, refusing to obey his will.

After the barrier completely disappeared, Yuder was left entirely exposed in front of Kishiar.

'...So it’s a failure after all.'

This was the end. Kishiar would touch him soon, and no matter what happened next, it would be beyond his control. Kishiar was the Awakener he had no confidence of beating, an Alpha with immense, unending power. In his current, ruined physical condition, he was no match for him.

The same scenario from his previous life was about to repeat itself.

Overwhelmed by heat, self-loathing, and confusion, Yuder sighed and closed his eyes. Even his gasping sounds felt disgustingly repulsive, making his stomach churn.

"…"

However, despite his waiting, no sign of the impending situation came from the front. Even as his panting calmed down somewhat, nothing changed.

'What’s happening?'

Finally, Yuder lifted his head with great difficulty, moving his agonizing body slightly, and slowly opened his eyes. An amused smile floated above the red pupils that had been silently watching him.

"…Only now do you open your eyes."

Kishiar was still kneeling on one knee, lightly supporting himself on the ground with one hand. Even though half of his neatly styled hair was now disheveled, his eyes were still clear, showing no signs of agitation.

"Seeing you make that expression made waiting worthwhile."

"…Commander, you?"

"I’m disappointed. Hiding your body to prepare for the sudden manifestation of your second gender was a good idea, but did you need to treat me like an enemy too?"

"But, Commander, you… Second… Alpha… I… soon… in heat…"

With a bewildered face, Yuder stuttered out, only to be met by a pained smile from Kishiar.

"Yes. My second gender is indeed an Alpha. I can sense that you're about to be in heat following your manifestation. That’s unique. But what does it matter?"

If he had been in better shape, he would have retorted: what do you mean, what does it matter? However, due to the pain, the only sounds escaping his lips were ragged breaths.

"Right now, I'm the Commander of the Cavalry, responsible for you. You bravely stepped forward alone for my sake, so now it's my turn to return the favor. I can handle this much easily, so all we need to do is find a safe place within and escape together."

Thud. A shock reverberated in his head once again.

However, Yuder was so focused on Kishiar's words that he could barely register the pain and heat from the shock.

"Yuder Aile. Whatever you're afraid of now, I promise it will never happen. Won't you trust me?"

A voice that was unexpectedly soft for the situation.

As soon as Kishiar finished speaking, the massive energy that had been surrounding him seemed to get drawn back into his body, hiding itself. It didn't completely disappear, but thanks to that, Yuder's spirit, which had been crushed by pressure and pain, managed to clear a bit.

The dark shadows of his past, which had obscured his vision, melted away. The sight that came into focus was of Kishiar suppressing himself greatly, waiting for Yuder's answer.

'...Who, exactly are you?'

Amidst the groans that could not form into words, numerous thoughts laden with pain swirled.

How? Why? Why that far?

Various thoughts swirled chaotically, but in the end, there was only one thought left.

That Kishiar in front of him would not tread the same path as in his previous life.

Despite having no evidence, he was filled with a clear conviction, as if there was a cause. As if spellbound, Yuder nodded his head very slowly.

Upon seeing this, Kishiar, as if he had been waiting for it, immediately stood up from his place and removed the jewel pin attached to the shoulder of his ceremonial dress, smiling.

"I usually don't like forcing anyone to make quick decisions, but the situation is a little unfavorable now, so it couldn't be helped. Cooperation is most crucial if both of us want to get out safely. Now, close your eyes."

In that moment, Yuder's gaze went to the bracelet on his wrist. A small crystal hanging by a thread. He could probably break it again now, but it seemed pointless.

A short hesitation disappeared like melting snow, and Yuder swallowed his hot breath, stretching out his body and closing his eyes. The golden cloak that Kishiar had removed from his shoulder settled over him.

"Uh..."

"Oh dear. Does this alone cause pain? I'm a little worried because you're sweating a lot."

Watching Yuder twitch, Kishiar, despite sounding concerned, quickly wrapped the cloak around him, completely covering him so no part of his body was exposed. It was done in a manner similar to how one would transport a patient or a corpse.

Before Kishiar's hand, holding the edge of the cloak, could cover his face, Yuder saw the sweat beads on his face. Even though he looked fine, it was indeed difficult to remain completely calm in front of an opponent who was wildly exhibiting his power.

'...Because of me.'

If it wasn't for him, if he didn't happen to manifest his second gender during his mission, none of this would have happened. Just as in his previous life, all that was left now was a sense of guilt.

"Commander, sir."

"Hm?"

As he managed to open his mouth and call, Kishiar understood and responded.

"I apologize. During the mission, just when...this..."

"Ah. Just in case you're blaming yourself for this situation, don't."

While gently supporting Yuder with one hand and holding him in his arms, Kishiar moved and opened his mouth low.

"The manifestation of the second gender is unpredictable for anyone. No matter how outstanding my assistant is, it's no one's fault that this has happened, as he cannot foresee the future. To be frank, I might also be to blame for leaving you to handle dangerous situations without any precaution."

‘No.’ Yuder thought, ‘I could have anticipated it.’ Although he hadn't prepared for the exact date, he thought he had somewhat prepared. However, the outcome still turned out like this. Remembering the unspeakable incident, he let out a thin breath. Kishiar remained silent for a moment to see what was on his mind before opening his mouth.

"Do you remember what happened on the day I manifested my second gender? It was worse than what you experienced today."

The day Kishiar manifested his second gender. He repeatedly murmured these words in his heat-soaked brain. It was a story he hadn't heard in detail even in his previous life.

"In hindsight… I'm not just ignorant about that…"

"One day two years ago, when I awakened, I was lying in my bedroom in Peletta Castle. It's a bit large for one person, but it's not a bad place. Anyway, right after awakening, didn't I have a manifestation? Terrified by the pain and heat I was experiencing for the first time, I thought my last day had come."

A weak chuckle echoed gently in his ear.

"What I did then… I called Nathan and made a big fuss to evacuate everyone from the castle. Then, I climbed to the top of the highest tower in the west of the castle. I knew what was there."

"…"

"I tried to kill myself with the Divine Sword Orr, which had been left unused after its previous owner used it. The divine sword inflicts a severe punishment if touched by someone not chosen by it."

For a moment, his bone-crushing pain seemed to disappear in surprise. Yuder was relieved that his face, hidden under his cloak, was not visible to Kishiar.

Kishiar's low and soft voice continued even as Yuder's body stiffened.

"But… as you see, I didn't die. Moreover, I became the Commander of the Cavalry like this. Life is really unpredictable. Isn't it? A bad thing happening today can lead to happiness tomorrow."

So, are you happy now?

Yuder suddenly wanted to ask, but the question quickly vanished in his fevered, hazy mind.

"...Over... there! ...Fo... found...!"

Then, voices of strangers came from not too far away. As Yuder stiffened his body, Kishiar soothingly patted his cloak and whispered.

"The hands and feet of Katchian who were chasing me have finally arrived. From now on, don't say anything and just stay as you are."

"...Huh…"

Instead of answering, a hot breath flowed out between his lips. Yuder slowly released the tension from his body and let himself lean into Kishiar's embrace. The dull and hazy pain came intermittently and it still hurt enough to make his limbs go numb, but he wasn't as fearful about the future as before.

Despite being in the midst of a manifestation and soon experiencing a surge of heat, the fact that he was leaning into the embrace of Kishiar, an Alpha, brought an oddly peaceful feeling.