Turning
chapter-297

As far back as he could remember, Yuder had never experienced being cradled in someone's arms while being fed. The fact that this someone was Kishiar made the situation all the more surreal.

In his previous life, Kishiar had never done such a thing. Similar to the dream he had once had, during the early stages of the western monster subjugation, when Yuder had sustained injuries to both arms, Kishiar had shown no more concern for him than for any other member. Yuder had accepted this as normal.

Had Kishiar attempted to cradle him and feed him as he was now, given the excessive closeness they had shown due to the effects of the accident during manifestation—something that had led to jeering even within the squad—Yuder would likely have been the first to firmly reject it.

While they managed to deal with the fallout from the accident that had changed everything about the two of them over the course of a week, Yuder Aile's image in the eyes of others remained unchanged. He was seen as a cocky, young Omega Awakener who had easily secured the position of Deputy Commander and the succession to Commander, despite showing little qualification as a leader or winning the acceptance of his peers, apart from his slightly superior abilities. This perception persisted until Kishiar's death.

Back then, he had neither the will to change the situation nor the inclination to persistently make excuses. So he chose to retaliate firmly, either ignoring such views or forcefully suppressing them when they became too irritating. Of course, such an approach typically only made matters worse.

Whenever Yuder clashed with other Cavalry members, Kishiar would sigh and offer advice. However, Yuder of that time, a willful child, preferred to force compliance rather than try to understand and follow the advice. He would become faintly infuriated whenever Kishiar, presuming to understand his situation, would add more and more to his counsel.

Until his death and for some time after his return, Yuder rarely doubted the things he remembered. But now was different.

To what extent were his memories true? To what degree could he trust the emotions and thoughts he believed he had felt and thought?

Although he had always suspected that the dream he had been having was not a mere dream, after catching Pethuamet, his suspicion had transcended conjecture and became an indescribable, profound conviction.

There were many gaps within Yuder Aile. These gaps, located somewhere deep beyond the reach of sight, were so numerous that even he didn't know the extent of them. To be honest, Yuder still found it hard to believe that he had lived all this time unaware of these gaps within him.

But if these gaps weren't real, then how could he explain the familiar yet strange fragments of memory and emotion that he felt each time he recalled the past or dreamt, ever since he had killed Pethuamet?

The appearance of these tiny puzzle pieces, seemingly filling the gaps one by one, symbolized something he had been losing. He didn't know exactly what it was, but he had a painful hunch that it had a deep connection to Kishiar.

If he could not trust his own memories and feelings, what could he use as a basis to move forward in this returned situation?

Reason whispered to him that what he had done so far was right, and that he needn't harbor such deep doubts. Yet, the spark that had been ignited in his heart showed no sign of dying out…

"What are you thinking about?"

Although Yuder's expression was hidden by the blindfold, Kishiar softly asked, as if he had read something from him. Yuder remained silent for a moment before parting his dry lips and speaking.

"I was thinking... you seem overly accustomed to situations like this, Commander."

He couldn't tell the truth. At the moment, Kishiar was displaying such exceptional feelings towards Yuder that no one could doubt it. The whispering voice expressing fear of losing him and sharing agony still lingered in his mind. Just the sensation of being in contact with him simultaneously evoked deep pain and self-doubt within Yuder.

"Don't misunderstand. It's the first time I've done something like this for anyone."

Thankfully, Kishiar didn't notice the thoughts roaming in Yuder's mind.

"If anyone sees me like this, I'll be arrested immediately."

"As long as I'm here, that's not going to happen. Rest assured."

"What if the other comrades come in..."

"Stop."

Kishiar cut him off sharply, put down his spoon, and gently pressed Yuder's head into his arms. The sigh he exhaled sounded extremely loud.

"Instead of using your imagination on such trivial matters, how about thinking more realistically and constructively?"

In a situation that could be considered an insult to an imperial family member, what could be more realistic than this if this was an unnecessary imagination? As if he had read the unspoken question that couldn't escape Yuder's lips, Kishiar answered.

"There must be other things you're curious about. You've asked so many questions to Priest Lusan and others about what has happened so far."

"If I ask, will you answer?"

After asking without thinking, Yuder stiffened his fingertips. Even now, Kishiar promised to tell him anything he could, and he was aware that he kept his promise. Yet he unknowingly asked unnecessary questions, probably due to the continuous dreams and shocks over the past few days.

"Yes."

Kishiar's serene voice echoed in his chest like ripples on the water surface.

"As long as you're not constantly asking why I'm doing this to you."

There was no way anyone with emotions could ask such a question. Even during meals and conversations, Kishiar continuously brushed Yuder's hair between his fingers and gently caressed his neck. It was hard to understand what was so pleasing about ruffling short hair, but he never ceased the action. Yuder slightly bit his lips, recalling the touch of the hand that stroked his cheeks and ears tirelessly on the day he woke up.

"I heard... you summoned the second dispatch team."

"Yes. I split them into two groups, one for Tainu and one here."

Although it was information Yuder had already heard from Gakane, Kishiar added words they didn't tell him.

"While monster subjugation is important, the second dispatch team will be doing more investigation-related tasks. Because there will be many tasks requiring a diverse personnel."

"Investigation?"

"You have an idea, don't you?"

"About the Star of Nagran and the Magic Spring Ruins?"

As he answered, long fingers lightly stroked behind his ears as if in praise.

"And one more thing. Matters related to the Tain Duchy."

With just those terse responses, a flood of numerous pieces of information and memories surged in the darkness behind his bandage.

"I've heard from the mages that the Tain duchy is establishing a new trade hub within the Great Sarain Forest... Do you believe the rumors that they're engaging in illicit trade?"

"It's not just a belief anymore; this incident has solidified my certainty. I was aware of the rumors even before we arrived in the West."

The voice of Kishiar, who muttered about his good fortune, didn't sound particularly pleased despite his words.

"The Peletta Knights, whom I had assigned to investigate the Star of Nagran outpost covertly, sent a report. It stated that among those who stayed there, several nearly fell victim to the illegal trade. I plan to delve deeper into this matter now."

It seemed that the rumors the mages had conveyed were not unfounded after all. The meticulousness of not overlooking the task of investigating the Star of Nagran outpost in such a short time was impressive, yet it was frustrating to have to hear about such matters without being able to participate directly.

"So, do you intend to continue investigating the Star of Nagran outpost covertly?"

"There were no Awakened individuals who seemed to harbor similar intentions to those we encountered at the Apeto household, based on my direct observation."

Kishiar had judged that most of those staying at the outpost, located within the Great Sarain Forest, wished to live ordinarily and safely. The majority of them were even unaware of the deeper actions of the group they belonged to.

It was far better to naturally gather information rather than needlessly tracking and investigating the oblivious individuals in a dangerous situation. Yuder sighed lightly at the explanation that the Peletta Knights would handle this task.

There would come a day when such work must be done solely by the Cavalry. His journey was far from over, and his condition hadn't improved at all.

"How did your meeting with the mages today go?"

"Only now you ask."

His voice remained flat, but Yuder imagined the corners of his lips curving up in bitterness. It was a look he was familiar with, one he could easily picture.

"I can't say for certain yet, but I suspect that these spots on your hand, which have caused a number of astonishing incidents so far, may have had an impact on this occasion as well."

Kishiar held up Yuder's hand with his own, which had been empty.

"Right before we headed westward, you said it felt as if you had absorbed energy from within my body. What if the same phenomenon occurred this time as well? That thought suddenly occurred to me."

Yuder understood what Kishiar intended to say from his story alone. Then, he understood why Kishiar had wanted to meet the mages and seek their advice.

"So, you think I absorbed some kind of power from the blood of the monster I vanquished."

"Exactly, two kinds to be precise. The power of venom and amplification."